APW Hardcore Championship -- Arthur Pleasant vs Dean Wolf
Oct 29, 2019 22:44:55 GMT -5
'Jazzy' John McCarty likes this
Post by Dean Wolf on Oct 29, 2019 22:44:55 GMT -5
Wolf goes to grab the barbed wire chair, but is distracted by something on the Alphatron.
Clearwater: Who the hell is that?
An Asian man appears on-screen. Through an English interpreter (and with Ukrainian subtitles), he says the following.
Ri Yong-ho: Good evening. My name is Ri Yong-ho. I am the Minister of Foreign Affairs of North Korea. Since North Korea does not have a diplomatic mission in Ukraine, Dear Respected Kim Jong-Un sent that Korean Barbeque proprietor out to deliver our weapon. However, we did not accept Commissioner Ivanova's invitation because we wanted deliver a weapon to a mindless wrestling match. We accepted Commissioner Ivanova's invitation so that we could have a worldwide platform to deliver a message to those who dare threaten the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. So, tonight, backstage at Avanhard Stadium right here in Chernobyl, Ukraine...
The crowd cheers.
Clearwater: Seriously? A cheap pop at a time like this?
The camera pans out and we see Ri holding a red button.
Ri Yong-ho:...I am going to press this button and detonate a nuclear missile, which should land somewhere near Los Angeles, California.
Everyone in the arena gasps.
Clearwater: WHAT?!?
Ri: In 3, 2, 1....
Right before he can push it, U.S. Ambassador Taylor arrives and grabs the button, handing it off to his bodyguard, who runs away to secure it. Taylor starts to brawl with Ri and his interpreter.
Clearwater: Now here comes Chinese Ambassador Du. It's a three-on-one fight!
French Ambassador de Poncins and British Ambassador Simmons rescue Taylor to even up the fight. The brawl spills out into the arena, where the six diplomats start fighting down the aisle and to the ring.
Meanwhile, Pleasant gets up and tries to take the barbed wire chair from Wolf.
Wolf: Hold on! Now, we might be enemies right now, but one of our countrymen is fighting to stop some crazy fucks from blowing up part of the United States! Let's put this Arms Race shit on hold for a second and stop these despotic bastards!
Wolf holds out his hand. Pleasant mulls it over for a second but finally decides to reciprocate...before kicking Wolf in the nuts.
Clearwater: Pleasant can't put aside his differences for one minute? For America?!
Meanwhile, the Indian and Pakistani Ambassadors come riding out on the elephant.
Clearwater: I thought their two countries hated each other!
Remi: Yeah, but North Korea has diplomatic missions in their nations, bro!
Both ambassadors join Ri and his interpreter and Du.
Clearwater: Wait! Is that...it is! Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky! He's going after Ri! Why the hell is he getting involved?!
Remi: Ukraine is a NATO partner! Plus, Ukraine needs that American aid!
"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police plays over the PA.
Clearwater: That's Joe Biden! He's going after Zelensky!
Zubarov climbs the food truck and jumps down on the rest of the diplomats below.
Clearwater: This isn't an Arms Race anymore! It's a WORLD WAR!
Clearwater: Who the hell is that?
An Asian man appears on-screen. Through an English interpreter (and with Ukrainian subtitles), he says the following.
Ri Yong-ho: Good evening. My name is Ri Yong-ho. I am the Minister of Foreign Affairs of North Korea. Since North Korea does not have a diplomatic mission in Ukraine, Dear Respected Kim Jong-Un sent that Korean Barbeque proprietor out to deliver our weapon. However, we did not accept Commissioner Ivanova's invitation because we wanted deliver a weapon to a mindless wrestling match. We accepted Commissioner Ivanova's invitation so that we could have a worldwide platform to deliver a message to those who dare threaten the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. So, tonight, backstage at Avanhard Stadium right here in Chernobyl, Ukraine...
The crowd cheers.
Clearwater: Seriously? A cheap pop at a time like this?
The camera pans out and we see Ri holding a red button.
Ri Yong-ho:...I am going to press this button and detonate a nuclear missile, which should land somewhere near Los Angeles, California.
Everyone in the arena gasps.
Clearwater: WHAT?!?
Ri: In 3, 2, 1....
Right before he can push it, U.S. Ambassador Taylor arrives and grabs the button, handing it off to his bodyguard, who runs away to secure it. Taylor starts to brawl with Ri and his interpreter.
Clearwater: Now here comes Chinese Ambassador Du. It's a three-on-one fight!
French Ambassador de Poncins and British Ambassador Simmons rescue Taylor to even up the fight. The brawl spills out into the arena, where the six diplomats start fighting down the aisle and to the ring.
Meanwhile, Pleasant gets up and tries to take the barbed wire chair from Wolf.
Wolf: Hold on! Now, we might be enemies right now, but one of our countrymen is fighting to stop some crazy fucks from blowing up part of the United States! Let's put this Arms Race shit on hold for a second and stop these despotic bastards!
Wolf holds out his hand. Pleasant mulls it over for a second but finally decides to reciprocate...before kicking Wolf in the nuts.
Clearwater: Pleasant can't put aside his differences for one minute? For America?!
Meanwhile, the Indian and Pakistani Ambassadors come riding out on the elephant.
Clearwater: I thought their two countries hated each other!
Remi: Yeah, but North Korea has diplomatic missions in their nations, bro!
Both ambassadors join Ri and his interpreter and Du.
Clearwater: Wait! Is that...it is! Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky! He's going after Ri! Why the hell is he getting involved?!
Remi: Ukraine is a NATO partner! Plus, Ukraine needs that American aid!
"Don't Stand So Close to Me" by The Police plays over the PA.
Clearwater: That's Joe Biden! He's going after Zelensky!
Zubarov climbs the food truck and jumps down on the rest of the diplomats below.
Clearwater: This isn't an Arms Race anymore! It's a WORLD WAR!
