Just Showin' A Widdle Biddle Gratitude (with Dani Applegate)
Oct 8, 2019 13:18:35 GMT -5
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Post by provocateur on Oct 8, 2019 13:18:35 GMT -5
Arthur Motherfuckin' Pleasant makes his way down an unsuspecting hallway, passing by various production team technicians. Sweat cakes itself to his upper body as it beads noticeably around the shitty looking tattoos. West Virginia University's cup ceiling provided an added sense of "brouhaha" around the backstage area. The cement flooring rumbled from the roar of the crowd as Monday Night Metal continued onwards.
Just before Arthur turned towards the door to what was presumably the men's locker room, Dani Applegate appeared like an apparition with a microphone in her excited hand.
Dani Applegate: Arthur! ARTHUR!
Arthur looks up. Eyes narrowing, he brushes his disheveled, shoulder-length hair back with one swoop of his hand. A creeping smile surfaces.
Dani Apppegate: Do you have a moment to talk about what we just witnessed out there?
Arthur shrugs.
Arthur Pleasant: Why, Dani... I thought you'd never ask!!
He slouches a bit, putting his hands at his hips. He nods as if to say, "Go.".
Dani Apppegate: You just made your debut in APW by defeating a VERY formidable opponent in Jaice Wilds. It goes without saying that not a lot of people predicted you winning the match. But here you are, moving on to the next round of the APW World Heavyweight Championship tournament.
What do you have to say about all of that?
He shrugs.
Arthur Pleasant: Simple. Thank you!
Dani looks confused.
Dani Applegate: Thank you? W-what do you mean by that?
He chuckles.
Arthur Pleasant: I simply mean 'thank you'! Why wouldn't I thank my doubters!? Ohhh you silly goose, you. Why wouldn't I thank my opponent, Jaice Wilds? Why wouldn't I thank Alpha Pro Management for working out a contract with me to allow me to wrestle professionally
again?
He paused, getting a little choked up.
Arthur Pleasant: Doc always said that, "Whenever you're given an opportunity, Arthur, just make sure you show the world how grateful you are!". Otherwise, opportunities might not be as forthcoming in the future, y'know?
Dani looks confused but continues to listen intently regardless.
Arthur Pleasant: So, I just want to show how grateful I am. For the generous contract Irina, Jason, and Adam's legal teams drew up for lil' ole moi. For the backwoods Uncle Fucking inbreeders here in (changes voice to that if a 'hick') West Virginner, hyuk hyuk hyuk (Laughs), who managed to take the time out of their day to step away from their methamphetamines to voice how they feel about me. And last, but certainly not least...
Arthur leans in, tongue extended, and licks the black windscreen of Dani's microphone. She shrieks unexpectedly, but puts her hand over her mouth to try and tifle any future reactions and thus remain professional.
Arthur Pleasant: ... for my new best friend, Jaice! Because without him being the perennial loser I said he was from the very beginning, and his delicious taste in failure altogether, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it... as easily as I did it!
He giggles. Almost maniacally. There was a sense of uncomfortability coming from Dani through all of this.
Arthur Pleasant: Now, did I adequately fucking answer your questions, Miss Applegate? And if so, would you be willing to sign an official testimonial in how well I did? Y'know, so I can show Doc the progress I've made? I have it in my locker! It's... it's just this way. Through this door!
Arthur opens the door he was originally heading to and -- well, my apologies. As supreme narrator and leader of all narrations, I suggested the room he had been heading to was a locker room. I was, in fact, mistaken. The label on said door instead says "Mountaineers Maintenance Closet (Go WVU!)". Realizing the potential danger she caught herself in, Dani takes a step back.
Dani Applegate: Actually? I think I'll pass. Thank you for answering my questions though, Arthur.
Dani disappeared as fast as she approached Arthur from the get go. Arthur sucks his teeth.
Arthur Pleasant: Now THAT is what I call gratitude! <3 SWOON <3!
Disappearing into his makeshift locker room AKA the official West Virginia Mointaineers' Maintenance Closet, Arthur could be heard humming the tune of "Betty Boop" before the camera fades to black.
Just before Arthur turned towards the door to what was presumably the men's locker room, Dani Applegate appeared like an apparition with a microphone in her excited hand.
Dani Applegate: Arthur! ARTHUR!
Arthur looks up. Eyes narrowing, he brushes his disheveled, shoulder-length hair back with one swoop of his hand. A creeping smile surfaces.
Dani Apppegate: Do you have a moment to talk about what we just witnessed out there?
Arthur shrugs.
Arthur Pleasant: Why, Dani... I thought you'd never ask!!
He slouches a bit, putting his hands at his hips. He nods as if to say, "Go.".
Dani Apppegate: You just made your debut in APW by defeating a VERY formidable opponent in Jaice Wilds. It goes without saying that not a lot of people predicted you winning the match. But here you are, moving on to the next round of the APW World Heavyweight Championship tournament.
What do you have to say about all of that?
He shrugs.
Arthur Pleasant: Simple. Thank you!
Dani looks confused.
Dani Applegate: Thank you? W-what do you mean by that?
He chuckles.
Arthur Pleasant: I simply mean 'thank you'! Why wouldn't I thank my doubters!? Ohhh you silly goose, you. Why wouldn't I thank my opponent, Jaice Wilds? Why wouldn't I thank Alpha Pro Management for working out a contract with me to allow me to wrestle professionally
again?
He paused, getting a little choked up.
Arthur Pleasant: Doc always said that, "Whenever you're given an opportunity, Arthur, just make sure you show the world how grateful you are!". Otherwise, opportunities might not be as forthcoming in the future, y'know?
Dani looks confused but continues to listen intently regardless.
Arthur Pleasant: So, I just want to show how grateful I am. For the generous contract Irina, Jason, and Adam's legal teams drew up for lil' ole moi. For the backwoods Uncle Fucking inbreeders here in (changes voice to that if a 'hick') West Virginner, hyuk hyuk hyuk (Laughs), who managed to take the time out of their day to step away from their methamphetamines to voice how they feel about me. And last, but certainly not least...
Arthur leans in, tongue extended, and licks the black windscreen of Dani's microphone. She shrieks unexpectedly, but puts her hand over her mouth to try and tifle any future reactions and thus remain professional.
Arthur Pleasant: ... for my new best friend, Jaice! Because without him being the perennial loser I said he was from the very beginning, and his delicious taste in failure altogether, I probably wouldn't have been able to do it... as easily as I did it!
He giggles. Almost maniacally. There was a sense of uncomfortability coming from Dani through all of this.
Arthur Pleasant: Now, did I adequately fucking answer your questions, Miss Applegate? And if so, would you be willing to sign an official testimonial in how well I did? Y'know, so I can show Doc the progress I've made? I have it in my locker! It's... it's just this way. Through this door!
Arthur opens the door he was originally heading to and -- well, my apologies. As supreme narrator and leader of all narrations, I suggested the room he had been heading to was a locker room. I was, in fact, mistaken. The label on said door instead says "Mountaineers Maintenance Closet (Go WVU!)". Realizing the potential danger she caught herself in, Dani takes a step back.
Dani Applegate: Actually? I think I'll pass. Thank you for answering my questions though, Arthur.
Dani disappeared as fast as she approached Arthur from the get go. Arthur sucks his teeth.
Arthur Pleasant: Now THAT is what I call gratitude! <3 SWOON <3!
Disappearing into his makeshift locker room AKA the official West Virginia Mointaineers' Maintenance Closet, Arthur could be heard humming the tune of "Betty Boop" before the camera fades to black.
