Jobber Dave es People's Champion!!!
Oct 6, 2019 21:49:18 GMT -5
via mobile
BonnieBlue and Spartan like this
Post by Jobber Dave on Oct 6, 2019 21:49:18 GMT -5
"Mi amigos of es blanco north…"
Jobber Dave holds an inventions magazine distributed by Zion Imaginations, free to any and all hipsters spots in major cities across the U.S. Most of the homeless see it as free toilet paper, while most others see it as gibberish future nonsense, but not Jobber Dave, on this day of days. Dave stares at the page intently waiting for the fake smiles of The Canadian Coalition to spring to life, to tell the real sob story of their slip into obscurity.
"Gone too soon, eh? You took me in es ef I es familia and I es powerless to stop Senor Simmons. He es brilliant business man and es knows no ends to his rise…"
Finally the pages flicker to life with Quinn playing on his phone, Rick eating a slab of Canadian bacon, and Kyle staring right at Dave with the remains of a left over shrug.
"Don't fret, my buddy from the south… You brought out a fight in us that not even the Red Surge could do on their own. You were every bit the heart of the Canadian Coalition as any of us, buddy. Besides, don't you have bigger fish to fry this week than worrying about eh couple of eh hosers who are now regulated to special attractions and magazine blurbs?"
Dave clenches his fist.
"I es do, mi amigo… I es… do…"
Dave showing pride of a hero with a slow nod and a hero hands on his hip pose to follow.
"I step into the ring with warriors from different worlds who look to es Dave as weak and unworthy of es opportunity. To go from Bum Fight Division under Vincent Pryde to standing at the TOP with Ms. Irina's company. Johnny Blaze and es Jazzy John aim high every day of their careers… They don't know what es like to be hungry and diving at all wasted scraps. They don't know what es like to hitch a ride to a random cantina unsure if es pesos will be fulfilled when fighting masked burro Asseo Bandito…"
Dave shakes his head softly.
"He kicked es so hard…"
Quinn looks away from his cell phone long enough to share his two cents to Dave.
"Johnny Blaze and Jazzy John don't know the real Jobber Dave, buddy. Johnny Blaze has boots to fill, with his father Night Rider, having trail blazed his own path before him. You're obviously in the same place his father was in, you get to be a true pioneer, hombre."
Dave nods along.
"You es right, Quinn and Mr. Blaze doesn't even know the difference from wrist lock and wrist watch, as cliche as that es… But if he wants to go to the mat, then Jobber Dave can es tango, mi amigos!"
Dave throws a fist to the air causing the magazine to burst into laughter.
"As for es Jazzy John, I am es mariachi fan mi self. Give me trumpet over sax and give me sombrero over fedora any day, mi amigos. I es eh fighter and I es future World champion. The say es underdog story and that es means mullahs… But I am no longer in es game for pesos, I do this for they peoples. For they always showed Jobber Dave all the es respect and they didn't say JOBBER Dave in es negative way. They sees me as es true Champion of es Peoples… They picked ME, can mi opponents say the same?"
Dave waves an index finger.
"I es think not… I showed that Allen Anderson who Jobber Dave es and I will do the same against Jazzy and Blaze this week. There's only UP for this warrior of es people and my climb will be brought to the es light es Monday. Do I have mi amigos watching over me?"
Rick slams his empty pancake plate to the ground and roars.
"We will be there in spirit, brother! Be the champion we know you already are!"
Rick nods along in agreement.
"I will es do you all proud…"
Dave gives the magazine a thumbs up and shuts a page on his Canadian friends.
"You've heard es words of THEE People's champion of Alpha Pro Wrestling and it es promise that I made that'll strike you with fear. I am going to be the hero the people es need and I will not back down from a fight. A WAR. AND A FUTURE FOR ES LESSER MAN!"
Dave throws up a fist to the air.
"Jobber Dave FOR THE PEOPLE!!!"
Jobber Dave holds an inventions magazine distributed by Zion Imaginations, free to any and all hipsters spots in major cities across the U.S. Most of the homeless see it as free toilet paper, while most others see it as gibberish future nonsense, but not Jobber Dave, on this day of days. Dave stares at the page intently waiting for the fake smiles of The Canadian Coalition to spring to life, to tell the real sob story of their slip into obscurity.
"Gone too soon, eh? You took me in es ef I es familia and I es powerless to stop Senor Simmons. He es brilliant business man and es knows no ends to his rise…"
Finally the pages flicker to life with Quinn playing on his phone, Rick eating a slab of Canadian bacon, and Kyle staring right at Dave with the remains of a left over shrug.
"Don't fret, my buddy from the south… You brought out a fight in us that not even the Red Surge could do on their own. You were every bit the heart of the Canadian Coalition as any of us, buddy. Besides, don't you have bigger fish to fry this week than worrying about eh couple of eh hosers who are now regulated to special attractions and magazine blurbs?"
Dave clenches his fist.
"I es do, mi amigo… I es… do…"
Dave showing pride of a hero with a slow nod and a hero hands on his hip pose to follow.
"I step into the ring with warriors from different worlds who look to es Dave as weak and unworthy of es opportunity. To go from Bum Fight Division under Vincent Pryde to standing at the TOP with Ms. Irina's company. Johnny Blaze and es Jazzy John aim high every day of their careers… They don't know what es like to be hungry and diving at all wasted scraps. They don't know what es like to hitch a ride to a random cantina unsure if es pesos will be fulfilled when fighting masked burro Asseo Bandito…"
Dave shakes his head softly.
"He kicked es so hard…"
Quinn looks away from his cell phone long enough to share his two cents to Dave.
"Johnny Blaze and Jazzy John don't know the real Jobber Dave, buddy. Johnny Blaze has boots to fill, with his father Night Rider, having trail blazed his own path before him. You're obviously in the same place his father was in, you get to be a true pioneer, hombre."
Dave nods along.
"You es right, Quinn and Mr. Blaze doesn't even know the difference from wrist lock and wrist watch, as cliche as that es… But if he wants to go to the mat, then Jobber Dave can es tango, mi amigos!"
Dave throws a fist to the air causing the magazine to burst into laughter.
"As for es Jazzy John, I am es mariachi fan mi self. Give me trumpet over sax and give me sombrero over fedora any day, mi amigos. I es eh fighter and I es future World champion. The say es underdog story and that es means mullahs… But I am no longer in es game for pesos, I do this for they peoples. For they always showed Jobber Dave all the es respect and they didn't say JOBBER Dave in es negative way. They sees me as es true Champion of es Peoples… They picked ME, can mi opponents say the same?"
Dave waves an index finger.
"I es think not… I showed that Allen Anderson who Jobber Dave es and I will do the same against Jazzy and Blaze this week. There's only UP for this warrior of es people and my climb will be brought to the es light es Monday. Do I have mi amigos watching over me?"
Rick slams his empty pancake plate to the ground and roars.
"We will be there in spirit, brother! Be the champion we know you already are!"
Rick nods along in agreement.
"I will es do you all proud…"
Dave gives the magazine a thumbs up and shuts a page on his Canadian friends.
"You've heard es words of THEE People's champion of Alpha Pro Wrestling and it es promise that I made that'll strike you with fear. I am going to be the hero the people es need and I will not back down from a fight. A WAR. AND A FUTURE FOR ES LESSER MAN!"
Dave throws up a fist to the air.
"Jobber Dave FOR THE PEOPLE!!!"
