Post by BonnieBlue on Sept 9, 2019 11:43:49 GMT -5
Dark Match: Ronin party clown battle royal
An opening shot comes via drone of Yokohama Stadium nearing sundown. Weather has cooperated with the outdoor stadium, home of the DeNa BayStars baseball team, while fans still filter into their seats. The press area remains empty, as do the announcing tables, awaiting the arrival of APW’s finest. Early birds get a treat in the form of developmental wrestlers dressed as party clowns. A rookie official stands outside, waving that single file line of mostly unknown faces into the ring under heavy makeup. Jessica Kaine comes to the mic with a local announcer translating her words into Japanese.
Jessica Kaine: Good evening wrestling fans… are you ready for a show!
That subtle thousand have not yet reached game form without a warmup.
Jessica: Tonight will be a spectacle unlike anything you’ve ever seen. But before we begin the Jubeilation, let’s give it up for our ronin competitors!
Mild applause welcomes all these angsty shapes huddling around the ring’s center. Among them are the brave Vinent Walker and his unlikely friend in the Great Stevo. Both went with traditional clown suits: multicolored wigs, red noses and giant red shoes. Others have taken the motif to a new place: Former ronin like Stephen Canuck, whose clown gear is mostly flannel, and the uncompromising Ninja Bob, concealing his face behind a nightmare-inducing mask. Ralph Grosse was former champion of those bums, which gives him some semblance of class to each performance. Tonight he does so by giving the people a traditional clown of old with pierrot face paint and a pointed hat.
Jessica: Before we begin… we at APW have some terrible news. Former ronin standout, the incorrigible Captain Pelican, was tragically lost at sea in his quest to “impale Poseidon and steal his crown as God of the Seven Seas”.... Please stand for a moment of silence while we salute his unbelievable legacy with a ten-bell salute.
One ronin goes into a frenzy, thinking the match had started, attacking the nearest competitor. A brawl breaks out after only two tolls from the keeper’s hammer. Clowns fly in every direction until only four remain, backed into opposing corners. Fans are reluctant to clap over Pelican’s memorial. Action intensifies when the overzealous Canadian misses a clothesline on Stevo, doubling over himself and out of the ring. And then there were three: Ninja Bob, Vincent and the Great Stevo. In reality, Walker and Stevo had already formed a nonverbal pact as they stare across from two points. They swoop in, but Bob begins karate chopping and kicking like he’s on fire. He keeps them at bay until lighting up their chests with shoot strong-style chops. Bob drags Stevo to the rope and delivers a thunderous frying pan hand chop to the kid’s already pink chest. He then flips Stevo over the ropes in the most careless way.
Jessica: We’re down to our final two! Let’s give them a hand!
Fans clap, but Ninja Bob needs a breather. He can only defend himself from so many blows. Vincent goes for the thunder thighs, hoping he can uproot the larger man. Bob has enough dead-weight to stave off the attempt flip him over the third rope. All seems to be in Vivnecent’s hands, when the house lights black out, and "Left Behind" by Slipknot plays over the PA.
Through the pitch blackness of Yokohama Stadium, a strobe light starts flashing in concert with the kick drum, and Dandy DiVito, World Heavyweight Champion of Action Wrestling, hops a barricade with his title belt slung over one shoulder. He jaws at the audience and points at his title as he makes his way to the ring. Walker and Ninja Bob stop what they’re doing to see what’s happened.
When Dandy reaches the ring stairs, he slams both hands in the top stair and then runs up them and into the ring. Ninja Bob attacks but has his fat ass hip tossed over the ropes like nothing. Walker, not one to hedge bets, slides under the ropes and joins Stevo. They celebrate a victory, but the crowd only cares about DiVito as he climbs each corner to antagonize the crowd by showing off the World Heavyweight Championship as they boo him and the house lights come back up. DD grabs a mic from the time keeper.
DiVito: Yo, I heard y'all was havin' a big ol' party, and I wasn't invited. Pretty fuckin' rude of you really! I figured I'd show up and crash this bitch anyway. I got a big ol' title defense comin' up in my stompin' grounds, but I'm a confident sumbitch and I'm here to call somebody out for a damn fight!
Security leads out members of the Ikeda Clan and their leader, Masuda Jubei in an event t-shirt. This army descends upon the ring, although one person leads their assault in the form of APW head trainer, Kevin Bishop. He motions everyone to stay back while he takes point. They hold back as he climbs into the ring. A microphone comes his way, and like Prince Adam receiving the powers of Castle Grayskull, “The Plague” returns to his old form. Fans give both men a main event reception while Bishop paces the ring.
Kevin Bishop: Who do you think you are? I know your bosses swept up the riffraff… gave them giant contracts at the end of the WCF era... but tell me, what did they see in you? Oh wait… you’re not even one of those “old WCF guys.” You’re just another new guy they put a belt on for nothing more than that face… but are you really their champion? These fans beg to differ. See, I had no regrets when I hung up my boots, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit there’s still an itch. Come now, you know that feeling I’m talking about. You felt it when you heard there was a big show all the way out here, in Japan, and YOU weren’t a part of it. Alpha knows what sorts of talent deserve this stage… the same reason they hired me to create the next generation for the best in professional wrestling. I’m a legend in the flesh. You… what even are you? Your heart, while misplaced, is true… but tonight we see the dark side to our business. What happens when a decent talent gets corrupted by the thing he claims to represent. How can I, an influencer… a leader… and a builder of men walk away from a teaching example? They know I can’t. That’s why I’m going to throw you out of this ring myself!
Jubei: Don’t even think about it, Bishop.
Fans boo wanting bloodshed. Masuda quiets them with a raised finger. Dandy and Bishop turn back with eyes immolating.
Jubei: I cannot sanction a match between wrestlers not under contract with Alpha Pro-wrestling as competitors. It’s their ring and their rules, gentlemen. However, since this is my show to produce… I suppose there’s nothing to stop you two from going outside with my personal camera crew and settling your differences. Would everyone like to see that? Or should have this maniac arrested?
Dandy and Bishop both have a cocky look knowing how the APW audience will sway. A calm albeit large pop rises from the padded bleachers.
Jubei: All right then, it’s settled. You two can fight so long as you leave these premises.
Dandy cuts him off, getting directly in Bishop’s face.
DiVito: So I saw some big pool on my way over. Whad’ya say? Bring yer trunks and that attitude, Kev. Cause I’m tak’in ya to the splash zone motha’fucker!
Kevin Bishop: Maybe... I don’t know if I can swim right now… not after eating all the bullshit you’re spouting. Just don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m any less of the man I used to be, DiVito… and don’t think for a second I’m not holding your head under… because I’ve been waiting for someone to educate for a long, long time.
DiVito: Big words, man, except I’ve made a career wip’an the floor with WCF washouts. Just don’ go thinking you any better. Cause I know there ain’ a lifeguard on duty.
Dandy walks off in a determined stride. Security finally takes control of the situation, but not before DiVito riles the crowd with another crass gesture. Bishop leaves the ring to converse with Jubei. Crews meanwhile begin the final prep for the grand opening.
Opening Segment
A drone shot of Yokohama Stadium comes into view as a short burst of golden fireworks fires high above packed stands spread across select seating arrangements. That shot hard cuts to the announce tables where Mike Clearwater and Jonah St. Remi greet the audience in dress casual outfits.
Clearwater: Greetings from Yokohama, home of The Master, and on this day, his 47th birthday. Let the Jubeilation begin!
St. Remi: It has been an endless day of lavish expense--all from the pocket of the Masuda Corporation. Where we’ve been living like royalty all weekend!
Clearwater: Those at home following our crews on Twitter will notice that we are indeed in the heart of a baseball stadium tonight. Home to the DeNa Baystars who have been the most gracious of hosts all week long.
St. Remi: Maybe too gracious. They sent a Benz for us, Mikey. A Benz!
Clearwater: Indeed…. Tonight will be an event of remembrance for the legacy of our inaugural world champion, Masuda Jubei. He also, aside from picking up our dinner bills, has taken extra roles as producer and lead booker for tonight’s festivities.
St. Remi: Come on, I know you’re most interested in that cake!
Clearwater: Not before your dinner, Jonah. First off, there was a development before our cameras set up for the show.
St. Remi: Yeah, bro, some guy challenged our head trainer to unsanctioned match. By the pool too. Sounds like a splash to me.
Clearwater: We have a camera crew set and ready whenever those men decide to lay down their gauntlets. But that’s not all… we will have full run of this stadium when Lilianna Rose and Kylie Moore take on the Ascension tag winners of Quintessential Perfection in what has been dubbed a “Party Bus” match, which we will send you out to shortly.
St. Remi: It starts there, but then we come back into the ring where our teams will erect a steel cage of nightmares for what Jubei has dubbed a “Castle of Horrors” cage match.
Clearwater: Shocking indeed… followed then by what we assume will be the unsanctioned between Head Trainer Kevin Bishop and a dangerous man, who’s surprisingly also The World Champion of Action Wrestling, Dandy DiVito.
St. Remi: I am expecting all sorts of fireworks. Should be epic!
Clearwater: Our co-main event will then feature four outstanding talents in a Pinata Scramble Match. Fifteen Minutes of fame with the final pinfall or submission being the ultimate winner. Weapons will also be legal, as every pinata hides tools our superstars can use to their full advantage.
St. Remi: Then we have a blockbuster more than a year in the making.
Clearwater: New Blood Puroresu failed… but it didn’t extinguish the hatred between The Master and his former business partner, Jason Zurra. Fresh off a loss to Odin Balfore, you have to admire the grit of this guy to get up and face the APW champ.
St. Remi: After that… cake?
Clearwater: Don’t worry, Remi, there’s going to be enough for everyone. We now take you live from the parking lot where our tag competitors are about to begin!
www.imdb.com/title/tt6146586/videoplayer/vi3978017305?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_2
Party Bus Match
Open to a backstage shot in an almost empty section of the parking lot cordoned off by red tape. Among the dozen vehicles parked in this area, a wide-angle shot follows the entire length of a twenty to thirty foot shuttle with Masuda Corporation logos emblazoned on the side. The sign above the doorway announces its next stop as “Party Town” in a glowing font. All the widows have been blacked out, but fans can see signs of static cameras set up inside the bus.
Clearwater: Now that’s how you ride in style. Would you want a ride aboard it?
St. Remi: Heck yeah… so long as I don’t have to take you, Mikey boy.
Clearwater: It looks like our referee is already on the scene!
St. Remi: Party time!
Several people aboard a Gator roll up with the sound of rumbling gravel. Fans watch on the huge replay screen from the arena, nervous with anticipation. Jessica Kaine catches their attention when her voice comes over the system.
Jessica: This match is a Party Bus Match… only one team can leave the arena aboard the Masuda Corporation’s APW Express! Our first team, weighing a combined 225 pounds, representing Fourgasm… Lilianna Rose and Kylie Moore!
They arrive to a dimly lit area next to the official. Neither looks away from the APW Express parked less than a hundred feet from them. Rose and Moore meet for a final huddle while the second Gator comes rolling into the shot.
Jessica: And their opponents, weighing a combined 508 pounds, representing Quintessential Perfection… “Apex” Onyx and Teddy Geisel!
Teddy rides off the side of the Gator while Onyx sits on the back. When the disembark, Apex gets as close to their opponents as possible. Geisel walks behind him, getting space between them and the APW Express.
St. Remi: Looks at these two! How do Rose and Moore have a chance against that monster alone? The two of them don’t even weigh as much as Apex Onyx!
Clearwater: Maybe, but those two are crafty. Don’t count them out yet, Remi. Looks like our official has finished explaining the rules… Here we go!
St. Remi: Onyx has them both in his huge paws!
Clearwater: He’s playing an entire O-line while Geisel is heading for the bus!
St. Remi: They don’t have a chance!
Geisel takes off for the APW Express with impunity due Onyx’s rugged defense. Kylie and Lilianna eventually slip free, but they still have that walking brick wall between them and the bus. They decide to go for a two-pronged strike, high and low, hitting Apex with simultaneous dropkicks up high and at the knees. He stumbles but doesn’t fall over.
Clearwater: One more! Double dropkick!
St. Remi: Nice going, but Onyx played at Bama… he can take more punishment than that.
Clearwater: His partner is having trouble with the sliding doors. Looks like someone locked them!
St. Remi: Wow! Double wheel kicks finally take the big man down to a knee.
Apex instead, takes a three-point stance, countering a charging Lilianna Rose like a shark shooting up out of the water with a shoulder tacker. He carries the move before slamming her hard on the hood of a Dodge Neon. She defends herself by holding his arm in the early stages of an armbar. Apex deadlifts her up into a chokebomb.
Clearwater: Where’s he going?
St. Remi: Geisel is climbing up top. Wait, the emergency hatch! Good thinking!
Clearwater: Moore coming to her partner’s aid!
St. Remi: She’s on his back looking for a rear naked choke. That’s how you take a big guy down, bro. But can she hold onto someone as strong as Onyx. Dude’s a beast. Just look at those bulging deltoids!
Clearwater: She’s on for the ride of her life, dangling from his neck. If either can lock one their submissions, it could be trouble for Onyx.
Teddy Geisel finally gets to the top of the bus and indeed finds its emergency roof hatch. A few well-placed jumps drops him inside hard, but luckily, his ass found one of the cushioned benches lining the back. He takes a long moment to get up, as seen from the CCTV feed on the big screen playing in the arena. Teddy holds his neck during his search for its keys.
Clearwater: That’s no good for Fourgasm. Teddy Geisel has breached the APW Express! We could be looking at the end for these undersized competitors.
St. Remi: Maybe, but they’ve got a good hold on Apex outside.
The shot returns to the fighting outside where Moore has locked on the blood choke, but her partner is getting flung around like a flag. Onyx slams her twice more on the hood before finally smashing her into the windshield. Rose lies there in agony while her partner seems to be slowing the big man down.
Clearwater: Look! Onyx in down to his knees!
St. Remi: Didn’t believe it at first, bro. Those girls are tougher than they look.
Clearwater: Oh my! Apex is out! His head just banged on the Neon’s hood.
St. Remi: She’s going after Geisel!
Clearwater: I don’t think he sees Kylie Moore. He just opened the sliding doors!
She rushes and pushes Teddy against a window, as seen from the CCTV view. Their battle looks more like a tumbleweed as they roll around the floor throwing aimless punches and kicks. Moore gets the upper hand and drops an elbow. Before she can reach the driver’s seat, Teddy ambushes her with the fluid cleanup kit. The steel case knocks Kylie to the ground, exploding its contents everywhere. He climbs over her and begins digging through the glove compartment.
St. Remi: He’s got them! Teddy’s found the keys!
Clearwater: Moore getting to her feet… can she stand?
St. Remi: There you go Teddy, start ‘er up!
Teddy looks over his shoulder with the rear view mirror. Upon seeing Kylie Moore holding herself up on the side of a passenger seat, he goes after her. He uses the lengthy walkway like a runway, surging towards her with a massive front dropkick--the force of which throws her out of the back emergency door.
Clearwater: Such force… and now it seems the bus is his for the taking.
St. Remi: All he has to do is collect his partner. Then next stop, Party Town.
The shot cuts back to where Lilianna rose is back on her feet. Apex Onyx has since come to, but he’s still slumped over that Neon. Rose hurries to aid of her partner lying on a bed of gravel. When the bus suddenly goes into motion, rolling slowly in the direction of Apex.
St. Remi: Moore is hurt, bro. She ate both of Geisels shoes, and did it on a bus.
Clearwater: Sorry to cut your trisyllabic short, but Teddy seems to have trouble maneuvering that wide of a vehicle.
St. Remi: When you’re on the A-list with Luke Force. You never have to drive anywhere, bro. It’s probably been a while since he’s got behind the wheel.
Clearwater: Rose supporting her partner on a shoulder… will they be able to catch that bus?
After much consternation and battling to gain control of the APW Express--albeit how inferior it is to QP’s own party mobile with Luke Force--Geisel drives up and emerges with a fire extinguisher. He almost trips in process of blitzing fourgasm from all that uneven gravel under his hightops.
St. Remi: He’s got an extinguisher! Kylie and Lilianna could be in trouble!
Clearwater: Geisel is tired of being the background guy. He’s ready to fight!
Fourgasm isn’t expecting the surprise attack, nor its craziness, Teddy Geisel sprays them with a giant puff of repellant. Lilianna falls to her knees. The can expels its contents, leaving him with just a silvery canister. Apex slumps forward with trembling hands trying to find his surroundings. Liliana rises only take a full on shot from the frie extinguisher. As she falls, Kylie rolls behind for a traditional takedown.
Clearwater: She’s got the legs!
St. Remi: Teddy is wiry--and like that! Mule kick right to the mouth!
Clearwater: Liliana looking worse for wear, but she’s going after Geisel.
St. Remi: She hooks the arm… but Geisel arm drags her onto that unforgiving gravel!
Kylie screams, taking the compact yet still heavier fighter in Geisel to the hood of a rusted El Camino. They exchange blows until a high kick falls in Moore’s expert grip. She snaps into position and hits an exploder on Geisel.
Clearwater: Exploder suplex! Kylie put everything she had into that!
St. Remi: Don’t look now, but here comes Onyx. And he is pissed.
Apex comes to Teddy’s aid, pulling the much smaller Kylie Moore off his partner like a carry-on bag. She fights but he just shoves onto the hood of that El Camino. When he swoops in for something stronger, Lilianna grapevines around him shin. She can’t quite lock on a traditional ankle lock; however, it stops Apex in his tracks.
Clearwater: Teamwork at its finest. Either of these teams could challenge for the tag belts.
St. Remi: True that. My moneys on Apex and Geisel. These two just need to get their shot it. Fourgasm, well those of them here, are living on borrowed time.
Clearwater: But they’re making the most of every second--Kylie has a windshield wiper!
St. Remi: Someone’s going to be ticked when they leave tonight!
Kylie whips at Onyx a few times before he confiscates the weapon and tosses it aside. Lilianna works from the ankle onto his back. Not wanting to fall victim to another rear naked choke, he takes into a samoan drop hold and steps onto the El Camino’s hood.
St. Remi: Apex looking to end these girls once and for all!
Clearwater: Jawbreaker! Apex Onyx down to one knee.
St. Remi: Rose and Moore wailing on him, but that nose tackle won’t go down!
Both girls fight Apex on the hood. Errant strikes bee sting him until his two massive arms wrap around their necks for what could an STO. He lifts both with their legs dangling and kicking to try and get free. He then shouts something down to his partner, preparing what he hopes will finally put the fourgasm members down for good.
Clearwater: He wants that STO. Foursgasm in serious trouble!
St. Remi: You’re right. Those ladies are tougher than we gave them credit. Apex is trying to lift kettle weights that don’t want off the ground.
Clearwater: Can he do it?
Apex has his target. He throws both of their struggling weights above his head--when both members of Fourgasm nail a kick to the inner thigh. Apex tries again, but his tied up arms leave him defenseless for a double headbutt. That slight turn in momentum gives Kylie and Lilianna a chance to shock the world. On three, they execute a double vertical suplex on the incredibly larger Onyx over the hood and into truck bed of that rusted El Camino.
Clearwater: Can you believe it! Jubeilation is the site of miracles!
St. Remi: Onyx just smashed like tables, wood and a shed’s worth of garbage!
Clearwater: Fourgasm limping away to the bus. Can they escape?
St. Remi: Does either one know how to drive a bus?
Clearwater: Who cares! They’re off for Party Town!
St. Remi: (under his breath) Not like you’d know what it looks like...
Fans ringside cheer as final shot of the APW Express closing the sliding doors. Teddy Geisel, unable to tend to his partner and the stop the bus, sprints after them. He eats a comical expulsion of carbon monoxide as the bus speeds off into the Yokohama skyline. It disappears from an over-the-shoulder shot of Geisel kicking gravel--just before the screen hard cuts to a commercial break.
Castle of Horrors Cage Match
Clearwater: Welcome back to Yokohama stadium where crews have been at work constructing this monstrosity. Tell them what we’re looking at here, Remi.
St. Remi: This isn’t your grandpa’s steel cage match. No sir, this is the Castle of Horrors. Barb wire ropes. Barb wire at the rim of the cage. The only way out is through a variety of challenges and dangerous terrain. But remember what came of this last week. If Anderson can manage to take down Spartan, or at least, escape Masuda’s death box. He’ll get a North American title shot. How cool is that?
Clearwater: Forget all that--because here he comes!
St. Remi: It’s the birthday boy!
“Der Konig der Dunkelheit” by D plays out The Master, entering the field of play via the home team dugout, a Masuda Corp. ball cap but a BayStars uniform with his name on the back and 47 as his jersey number. He enters to heavy boos with a tall Ikeda Clan member holding his belt in the usual place above his head. His group walks around crews giving the final touches to the modified cage. A throne awaits him at ringside next to the announce tables.
Clearwater: And here is in the flesh, your APW World Heavyweight Champion, Masuda Jubei.
St. Remi: Jubei! Jubei, care to tell the audience how you came up with this ghastly structure?
Clearwater: Or why you put your neck out for Allen Anderson last week?
He ignores them when an assistant comes to his side carrying a bag of Jubeilation themed baseballs. All of them bear his image and the APW logo on the opposite side.
Clearwater: I guess not.
St. Remi: Look, he’s a fair king. What champion would hit foul balls into the crowd like that? Not some paper champ. He’s the real deal!
Clearwater: Another stunt to win these people over.
St. Remi: Uh oh, you overstepped my friend.
Masuda walks over with that bat resting behind his neck street thug style.
Jubei: (off camera) Were you talking to me?
Clearwater: Of course not, champ. Keep hitting those dingers.
Jubei gives that patented smirk before returning to his fan give-away.
Clearwater: Shortly, we will be joined by two of the most trailblazing names in Alpha Pro-Wrestling. The first has proven himself a warrior beyond comparison. Spartan who continues to win over crowds with death-defying acts in our burgeoning hardcore division. Some even call it the second world title of APW.
St. Remi: But you’re forgetting that he enters a mausoleum against the right hand of Masuda Jubei. The unrelenting, unforgiving force that is Allen Anderson. He wants satisfaction--and he doesn’t care how many fall in his pursuit of it.
Clearwater: And as you mentioned, a North American Title Shot hangs in the balance tonight. First, he has to get through a machine of extreme in Spartan. Is he up to the challenge? We’ll find out here and now!
“Unstoppable” by For the Fallen Dreams reverberates over the sound system. Fans throw multi-colored streamers for their atomic ginger when Spartan emerges from the away team dugout. He has his usual outfit, but for a dash of local flair, he’s wearing one of those world-famous Ribera Steakhouse jackets, discarding it on his way into the ring.
Jessica: This match is the Castle of Horrors… entering first from Los Angeles, CA and weighing 265 pounds… he is… Spartan!
Clearwater: Now that’s a world class athlete. And we know he’s not afraid to go extreme.
St. Remi: But he’s agreed to close himself in a cage with one of the most dangerous men in Alpha Pro-Wrestling! How can you be so confident in his chances?
Clearwater: I’m not, only stating the obvious.
“Chief Rocka” blasts next garnering the biggest boos of the night. Emerging from the home dugout, and wearing a boxer’s robe with Masuda Corporation logos is the incomparable and undeniable Allen Anderson. As he approaches the ring, Masuda rises from his masterful throne to applaud his favorite enforcer.
Jessica: And his opponent entering the cage from Harlem in New York City… weighing in at 220 pounds… representing the Masuda Corporation… Allen Anderson!
Clearwater: There’s your guy. Are you sure he’s got what it takes to stop someone like Spartan? The guy has eaten nails for this company.
St. Remi: Mikey, please, The Master is here. Do you really think he’s going to let someone beat his best guy on his birthday?
Clearwater: Anything to add Masuda?
St. Remi: Dude, he’s not here to chat with you. He’s watching the matches.
His attentions go elsewhere as someone in a tech outfit instructs him on how to use a large, almost comically sized remote control with buttons and levers.
Clearwater: What the heck does he have there?
St. Remi: I assume it’s an assurance policy.
Clearwater: Well here we go… wait, are they welding the cage door shut?
St. Remi: Welcome to the Castle of Horrors… and let the games begin!
The referee calls for the bell. Both fighters clutch up, throwing punches and knees with reckless abandon. Spartan gets inside for control until Anderson hits him a elbow shiner, backing him into a corner. He follows that with a rising axe kick, but at the final second, Spartan catches the leg and throws him backwards. Fans are loving it.
Clearwater: These guys are throwing intense strikes.
St. Remi: There’s nowhere to go but through your opponent. They know that and it’s turned them into animals. Extreme at its finest.
Clearwater: Locking up again--and Spartan has the leg!
St. Remi: Textbook takedown from the former Hardcore Champion. Now he’s working those knees right into Anderson’s back and neck.
Clearwater: Trying for a headlock… but an elbow gets Anderson free.
Jubei points his toy at the ring, and with the tech guy’s help, pushes a button shooting flames up from the turnbuckles. Allen and Spartan leap off their feet.
Clearwater: I’ve never seen The Master smile like that. Surely, he’s going to use those on our competitors?
St. Remi: Spartan attacks with another knee.
Clearwater: DDT! He almost flew across the ring to hit that!
Taking a minute to see what’s ahead, only death and despair await. Fans chant his name while Spartan tries to understand the convoluted trail of pain all around them. He shrugs in route to the fencing, all while avoiding layers of barbed wire.
St. Remi: That DDT did a number on Allen Anderson. He went down hard.
Clearwater: Spartan is halfway there!
St. Remi: What just happened! Something flicked him off the cage!
Fans gasp as Spartan gets juiced with thousands of volts of electricity. He flies off like that kid in Jurassic Park but not horribly enough to get burnt. Anderson recovers to find Spartan helplessly pinned on his back and looking up into the heavens.
Clearwater: How can Jubei be laughing? He could have killed Spartan!
St. Remi: He agreed to this match. Don’t blame the game for the consequences.
Clearwater: Anderson taking advantage of his downfall… Sweet Spot incoming.
St. Remi: Spartan jolted awake by that ankle lock. But he can’t tap out. It’s escape only!
The nightmare continues as Anderson grapevines the hold, inflicting massive damage to those small joints. Boos only seem to egg him into doing worse things. Their official has no power over the hold, watching as Spartan slams the canvas for some means of escape. Allen releases the hold, taking an extra second to gloat.
Clearwater: Anderson going for the cage… you don’t think Jubei is going to?
St. Remi: We’ll see.
Anderson climbs a section closest to the announce tables. The Master waves him up the cage like a little league coach, despite being the sole person in his corner. No one hates this more than the Japanese fans that turned up in sizeable numbers. Allen’s eyes almost bulge when Jubei feigns going for a button on his remote. He then laughs, earning a middle finger from his stable-mate.
St. Remi: You were saying?
Clearwater: So there’s no way Spartan wins this? Not with him at the helm!
St. Remi: Dude, he can hear you.
Clearwater: So what--Spartan! Spartan! He’s up!
He makes a gazelle leap hitting Allen right in the small of his back. Anderson rears back, falling right into a release German Suplex that wipes both men out on the floor. Things go crazy when a box drops from the rafters.
Clearwater: An air drop?
St. Remi: For all those Fortnite kids… wait, are those kendo sticks?
Clearwater: The Master just dropped no less than a hundred kendo sticks in the ring.
Allen gathers himself first, but only seconds before Spartan. Seeing themselves surrounded by kendo sticks--many of them broken beyond use--they dual wield and go to town on each other. The cracks are deafening.
Clearwater: These two are tearing each other apart!
St. Remi: Oh the humanity!
Clearwater: Spartan gets in a headshot. And another!
St. Remi: What’s he doing… oh ho! No way!
Clearwater: Spartan swinging that Singapore cane like a samurai. And down goes Anderson.
St. Remi: Welts lashing his back red. I can still feel that pain to this day, Mikey. You never forget the sting of a kendo stick.
Clearwater: Spartan has it around his neck… oh no.. don’t do it!
Fans condemn Allen Anderson to the darkest depths. Spartan, although a man of the people, lets Allen drop to the canvas mercifully. He then eyes the ropes, but not before shooting a look to Masuda and his devilish device at ringside. Jubei dares him to climb.
Clearwater: There he goes--leaping over the barbed ropes!
St. Remi: Oh man, he’s actually doing it… he could make it out of there!
Clearwater: Spartan’s winded. How much more can he have left?
St. Remi: This is the biggest climb of his career. Gutsy for sure.
Clearwater: No, don’t do it. Have mercy, Jubei!
The Master scowls at Mike Clearwater from his seat, and with one toggle of the switch, high voltage zaps through Spartan. Some laugh as his face takes on a comical expression; however, everyone eventually looks away from the carnage. His hair and beard stray in every direction while smoke emanates from the ring.
Clearwater: You’re a monster, Masuda!
St. Remi: Man… I can’t watch any more of that.
Clearwater: Spartan hangs on defiantly. Poor soul just won’t give in. He’s hooked on there tight, but is there anything left upstairs?
St. Remi: Too late--Anderson is back to his feet.
Fans boo tremendously when Allen exacts vengeance on Spartan’s dangling legs with a singapore cane. He snaps one and has to find another. Some fans have their eyes closed while the punishment continues.
Clearwater: Jubei coaching his main man to climb the cage and forget about Spartan. But he’s still beating a defenseless man all the same.
St. Remi: Allen Anderson is relentless. No one can pry him off his prey. Weeks of torment, and now he finally feels vindicated. I get the feeling…
Clearwater: This isn’t Spartan’s comeuppance! It’s Anderson’s vendetta paid in full!
Masuda rattles the cage, screaming at Allen to get the hell outta his death box. Anderson meets his boss’s stare, and for one second, reason seems to have won. Then he climbs up to meet Spartan at the top of the cage. Jubei throws his remote, smashing it to pieces. Anderson grabs Spartan by the throat for some choice words not picked up by the ringside cameras.
St. Remi: He’s wasting time! Could have escaped the cage by now!
Clearwater: We’re seeing the darkest desires of a broken man. Allen Anderson will not be denied them anymore. Just what could be going through his mind right now?
St. Remi: What’s he doing? Is that back suplex?
Clearwater: He we go… Spartan’s back! He’s laying into Anderson!
St. Remi: Rookie mistake. Never test a hardcore player--those guys never give up!
Spartan fights out of the suplex attempt, and to be sure Allen won’t go anywhere, he slams his gloved hand on the barbed wire surrounding the upper rim of the cage. Fans cringe as he makes a punching bag out of Allen’s midsection. And elbow hits back, but nowhere hard enough to stymy Spartan’s rage. A final combo leaves Allen slumped over one shoulder. Spartan takes off above the clouds. When he reaches that upper section, he takes a moment to dislodge the loosely sewn layers of wire she can reach the real pinnacle of the cage.
Clearwater: Seeing daylight! Spartan only has to get a leg over the side… he’s halfway there!
St. Remi: Anderson holding onto his knee. Can he stop this unbreakable force of nature?
Clearwater: It’s too late. He’s nearly there… Anderson holding on for dear life.
St. Remi: Both feet are over--wait! What’s he doing?
Clearwater: He’s got Anderson on his shoulders… by all that’s holy! Don’t do it!
Spartan sets up for his Revolutionizer (F-5), but as he tries to throw Allen Anderson into the ring, his body gives in first. Anderson drops with a full impact off the cage to the outside with Spartan still attached. However, Anderson falls straight through several tables with communications equipment. EMTs meet them at the ground level.
Clearwater: Anderson smashed through the tables! Someone check on him!
St. Remi: That didn’t go as planned… Spartan is hurt too. But wait, didn’t Allen touch first?
Clearwater: What a horrible turn of events for Spartan. Blood streaming down his face. Sweat pouring from every limb. He did everything he could to best the Masuda Corporation, but tonight, like so many others in APW, he comes up short against The Master and his people.
St. Remi: Allen has been destroyed, but he is your victor tonight.
Jessica Kaine gets to the mic hesitant to say those magic words. The official stops her there, electing to review the replay before making a definitive decision.
Clearwater: Masuda and Leon Dread take point with the emergency staff. He’s not even letting the Ikeda do this. Jubei may be a monster, but in some dark way, Anderson might just be the son he doesn’t have. Spartan despondent at ringside. Jessica Kaine gets word from the official. Her voice rises above the dismay at ringside looking quite pleased.
Jessica: After official review… your winner is Spartan!
Clearwater: Do you believe in miracles?
St. Remi: But Allen touched the ground first!
Jubei hunts the official down for some choice words, but Spartan is able to limp away with the W after refusing medical services. Fans cheer him into the away dugout. Video of the final second--just before impact--show Spartan’s foot sweeping and touching the infield grass first. It generates a massive “Spar-tan!” chant.
Clearwater: I don’t believe what we just witnessed, Remi. Spartan is your winner.
St. Remi: I cannot believe he got a foot down first. How?
Clearwater: Accept it or not, Spartan outwits Anderson and walks away the victor. We’ll return to action shortly while crews finish up here. As a reminder, Monday Night Metal returns to its regularly scheduled time next week. Go to APW.com for all your ticket information. More from Yokohama Stadium after this.
Ad for Japanese Tourism
Unsanctioned Fight at the Splash Zone
Fans look up to the main screen where a small crew has assembled, and as promised, on the premises of a water park. There we see two unwelcoming physiques ready to do battle. The first is APW Head Trainer Kevin Bishop wearing dad swimming trunks and nothing else. Across him in startling fashion, the long-bodied Dandy DiVito goes at him Mark Spitz style with a red speedo, but not to the length that kids could not see the program. A local referee joins them just pulsing with nervous energy. He gives them a “go for” it gesture, letting loose the dogs of war.
DiVito: You gonna fight? Or are we just gonna stand here with our D’s out?
Bishop thinks long and hard, and then answers with a haymaker. Blows fly into what devolves into a backyard brawl. All this comes to a head when Dandy goes for and hits a snap reverse suplex into the deep end. Bishop belly flops so hard he feels the pain of thousand knife-edge chops. Kids nearby swim over to these dad bods duking it out for supremacy.
DiVito: Told you, Kev. You’re jus’ another washed up hasbeen. WCF espe-ci-ale!
He then ascends the short diving and goes for a big body splash. It hits with a brick wall of force, dragging both men under the surface. Their fight has since drawn a growing crowd of kids and adults alike. Both resurface searching for a ledge. Bishop grabs the swimmer’s bar and dangles from it. Dandy gets out looking dazed. He takes a moment to regain his bearings before assaulting the APW Head Trainer. Bishop takes several swipes without putting up much of a fight. DiVito pulls him out of the water with a few clubs to the back for good measure. That’s when a Japanese security guard confronts them shouting in a local dialect. Dandy looks to the camera, and with a shrug, gives the guy a comical stunner. The guard oversells a bit when he leaps off his feet and into the pool. Their sole camera goes in for a close-up.
DiVito: Told ya I’d make an example of this dude. Alrighty, time to fry.
Dandy lines Kevin Bishop up for another of his violent stunners, “Carnage”, when a second and noticeably chubbier security guard confronts them with his flashlight drawn. Dandy ignores this large man and wails on Bishop instead.
Guard: We told you gentlemen to leave a while ago. Why haven’t you complied? If I have to ask again… we’re calling the police!
Dandy laughs that off while taking control of Bishop’s upper body. His toe kick misses, as the former leader of the Brotherhood spins him around in a dizzying motion. DiVito has no counter for an out-of-nowhere “Black Death.” Kevin actually used his momentum to springboard off the fat guy’s belly and drop Dandy with a midair codebreaker that drops him flailing and totally pissed off. Hitting back-first on the concrete leaves Bishop writhing too. Both now grasping for imaginary ropes.
Officer: No, no, no! Get out of here!
DiVito: Get outta my face!
DiVito stunners that portly guard too. The impact helps Dandy rise, albeit for a second, before crawling up the ladder of the highest diving board. Bishop’s body, seemingly possessed by his fighting spirit, gives a sluggish chase up those aluminum steps. They reach the top and unleash groggy haymakers--when their momentum ends with a double neckbreaker spot straight into the deep end. Crew members save them from those Kool Aid blue depths. Real cops show up with sirens blazing--enough to sober both combatants from death’s grip.
DiVito: Scatter!
Feed cuts the fight short as the entire crew, including the wrestlers, escape the cops. A shot hard cuts back to Yokohama Stadium and all the rowdy fans clapping their hearts out. Even the Japanese fans are on board while the cameras return to the announcers.
Clearwater: We have word that all are present and accounted for, but Bishop and our crew will not be returning to the stadium.
St. Remi: Run Bishop, run!
Clearwater: For those of you returning to ringside, we have more action on deck when The Master’s infamous Pinata Scramble returns for its second year. Remi, let fans know what’s in store.
St. Remi: Crews have disassembled the cage and replaced it with what can only be explained as a crap ton of pinatas. Each of those contain mystery items, which if they’re lucky, might be the key to a victory.
Clearwater: And these competitors will have more at stake than just a victory. Because Jubei has promised a special prize for whomever comes out on top.
St. Remi: Extreme rules apply. These fighters can do almost anything to secure a victory. However, they must secure a pinfall or submission AND be the last to do so before the timer expires. Fifteen minutes of fame, bro… just don’t be the one to blow it.
Clearwater: And we’ll have that action for you shortly as our teams prepare the ring.
Ningen Isu Live Performance
Jessica: At this time, Alpha fans, we have a special treat. Live from Yokohama Stadium… give it up for Ningen Isu!
Clearwater: Listen to these fans! They’re going crazy!
St. Remi: I’ve never heard these guys before… what a set!
Large crews set up a stage beyond the ring with huge drum set in waiting. A final drone shot captures the band taking the stage, and with a crack of the drummer’s sticks, rock n’ roll overtakes the Jubeilation. Few seem as thrilled as Masuda in his regal chair. Fiery pyro sets off with a raising of the blinding stage lights and their opening riffs.
Ningen Isu exits to quite an uproar. Although few honors match that of The Master standing from his chair for a grand ovation. And with their set finished, Jubei heads to the back.
2nd Annual Pinata Match
Clearwater: Welcome back to the heart of Yokohama, Japan. To those streaming back home--many of you still at work--we thank you all for sticking with us half a world away. Next up we see the brainchild of our world champion whose enterprising spirit has devised a match unlike any other. We give you the Second Annual Pinata Scramble!
St. Remi: So there are now, by my count, no less than thirty paper mache animals strung around the ring. Are we even licensed to have these on TV?
Clearwater: The faster they smash them the better… and looks like our veteran official, Eddie Silk is ready to begin the contest. May the best fighter win!
“Paint it Black” by Ciara lays out an enthusiastic Defenestration Jones from home team dugout.
Jessica: Welcome one and all to the Second Annual Pinata Scramble Match… first, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing 132 pounds… Defenestration Jones!
“Lit Up” by Buckcherry plays out beloved standout Johnny Blaze from the opposing dugout. His presence earns red and white streamers from local fans. Visitors simply cheer as his imposing frame approaches the ring.
Jessica: Next, also from Chicago, Illinois… weighing 335 pounds… “the Phenom” Johnny Blaze!
His music gets a longer pop and play than Jones’s did. She just sits in her corner, biding time until the bell. “Slip to the Void” by Alter Bridge plays out the equally imposing form of Leon Dread. His black and gold Masuda Corporation colors garner big boos, but he simply walks it off like a bee sting.
Jessica: From Salem, Massachuettes and weighing in at 290 pounds… representing the Masuda Corporation… “Hell’s Soldier” Leon Dread.
He paces the ring, stopping next to an obscenely large pinata shaped like The Master in chibi form. He smirks at it with a rap of its hollowed shell. Blaze and Jones glare at him with anticipation building to an uncapped peak. Opening riffs of “UltraNUMB" by Blue Stahli bring the fans back to attention.
Jessican: And our final competitor… from Puerto Vehlo, Brazil… weighing 184 pounds… he is your extreme aerialist.. Jaice Wilds!
His theme reaches a crescendo, from which Jaice Wilds emerges from the far off bullpen with a custom-painted Lousiville Slugger over his shoulder. Fans throw a festival of vibrant streamers as he makes an elongated entrance into the ring. Crews feverishly wipe away the excess streamers as all four claim a corner.
Clearwater: There you have it, a stellar line up wondering what could Masuda Jubei’s proclaimed “Special Prize” for the winner of tonight’s match.
St. Remi: He’s not a booker. You have to bet it’s money, or maybe a car. That’d be sweet.
Clearwater: We’ll find out. For now, we get to see the heart and soul of Alpha Pro-Wrestling. It’s there in the eyes of these four rising stars. Who will come out on top? Who has the guts to make history? Let’s find out… and there’s your opening bell!
Everyone finds the nearest pinata and smashes into it like kids on Xmas morning. Colorful remnants litter the ring with four armed fighters ready to spill blood: Leon Dread found a mini souvenir BayStars bat. Defenestration has a blackjack she whaps in her palm. Jaice looks at a stuffed unicorn before setting it down. He twirls that full size bat in circles, welcoming all takers. After some tribulation, including some violent curb stomps, Johnny Blaze came up short with handfuls of saltwater taffy. He decides to throw all of it into the nearest bleachers with a fisherman’s heave.
St. Remi: It’s raining candy!
Clearwater: Any good flavors?
St. Remi: I don’t know! They’re like every color!
Clearwater: Tell if you find banana… and here go! Wilds attacking Leon Dread in the thigh with that bat. Doesn’t that seem unsporting?
St. Remi: I ate a blue one and it tasted like pure sugar.
Clearwater: Dred throws Wilds into a pile of paper mache. And here comes Johnny Blaze--the big boys are slugging it out! Look at those elbows!
St. Remi: Here’s a yellow one!
Clearwater: Thanks… as I was… saying… Wilds avoids a swing from that blackjack. Defenestration Jones almost hit the back of his head!
St. Remi: It’s pandemonium! Blaze has Dread in a headlock. That can’t be good!
While the biggest dudes duke it out, Wilds manages to disarm Defenestration Jones. An enzugiri sends her into the pile of mythical creatures. When Jones rises again, she does so weilding a bedazzled crowbar and the head of pink llama. Jaice takes a shot to the gut and lowering hit to his shoulder from the exploding chunk of molded newspaper.
Clearwater: Dread going to the back. Blaze hits an elbow.
St. Remi: Neither one giving ground… and look at Jones. She’s going off with that glittery crowbar.
Clearwater: Wilds locks the leg… dragon whip! Jones falls back into that mess.
St. Remi: He’s springing off the middle rope! Corkscrew crossbody onto Jones!
Clearwater: Immediate cover!
1!
2!
3!
Jessica: Pin Fall, Jaice Wilds!
Clearwater: Dread and Blaze paying him no mind.
St. Remi: They know the stakes, bro. Besides, control what you can until things change. No one is getting anywhere with those two brutes up at the same time. That’s a fact!
Clearwater: They lock up again--and Jaice Wilds must be on the same wavelength. Because he’s going right for them!
St. Remi: Float over double DDT! Jaice Wilds took a huge risk, but it paid off huge!
Fans applaud his daring attack that only keeps the bigger fighters down so long. Leon gives chase, but Defenestration is waiting for him with that crowbar.
Clearwater: She got him right on the shin.
St. Remi: Ever had shin splints?
Clearwater: Of course, I run--
St. Remi: Cool story, bro. Dread just got those with a hundred times the pain.
Dread punches through the face of Seahorse pinata that gifts him a weighted boxing glove. He whips around and socks Jones to the floor for a minor chorus of boos. Wilds keeps pacing the ring in the hopes of tiring out Bebop and Rocksteady. Although his second lap around the ring runs straight into a Johnny Blaze dropkick.
St. Remi: Wilds just got hit by a Mack Truck!
Clearwater: That was over three hundred pounds! Did he have afterburners?
St. Remi: Dread just defenestrated Jones! Just went flying outta there like a lawn dart!
Clearwater: And nothing to catch her but that outfield sand.
Dread turns his attention to Johnny Blaze, going behind the largest guy in the ring and surprising him with a headbutt. A second one--from behind, and with more leverage--drops Blaze to his knees.
Clearwater: Sickening headbutts from Leon Dread. Jubei sure knows how to pick them.
St. Remi: Definitely the guy you want as your last line of defense. Whoa! Whoa!
Clearwater: Pendulum backbreaker on Johnny Blaze!
1!
2!
Clearwater: Wilds with the save! Retaining control of the match.
St. Remi: But for how long?
Jessica: Twelve minutes remain!
Defenestration gets to the apron clutching a hockey stick. Wilds spots her and attacks with a handspring elbow. Jones senses the attack, and with exact timing, rears back so that he flings over the third rope. She enters without noticing what has the crowd cheering so loud.
St. Remi: Skinning the cat… Jones is oblivious!
Clearwater: Wilds flies again--hurricanrana driver! That was amazing!
St. Remi: Johnny Blaze is up and brawling with Dread. These two statues won’t go down, bro. It’s going to take more than a baseball bat to do that.
Clearwater: Blaze chops Leon Dread to size with a humongous lariat!
St. Remi: Oh he wants more than that… he’s going longhorn style, Mikey.
Clearwater: Piledriver! Dread is planted to the mat!
1!
2!
Leon Dread gets the shoulder up, which has Johnny Blaze furious. Across the ring, yet a bit slow to get up, Jaice Wilds is grinning ear-to-ear.
Jessica: Ten minutes remain!
That summons Defenestration Jones from the wreckage to hit a backstabber on Jaice Wilds. She goes for a cover yet sees herself lifted into the air.
Clearwater: Johnny Blaze with sinister ideas… what could be on his mind?
St. Remi: He’s got her over one shoulder--piledriver!
Clearwater: He’s got it here!
1!
2!
3!
Jessica: Pin fall, Johnny Blaze!
Clearwater: Well, the biggest guy has just taken over the board.
St. Remi: And there goes wilds, looking for another around that insurmountable mound of man. But that backstabber has him slowed down, bro.
Clearwater: He may not have to… because Leon Dread is back amongst the living.
Blaze plays the crowd, doing everything to get into Dread’s head. The two walk within sweeping distance but just outside each other’s reach. Fans demand blood. Blaze points in the air as he spins around for a huge lariat. Leon dives under it, and in a stroke of luck, recovers that hockey stick.
Clearwater: Look out Blaze!
St. Remi: Cowabunga dude! Dread scoring off the slapshot!
Clearwater: No more, Leon! He’s already down!
St. Remi: But what’s Wilds doing?
Clearwater: I think he wants to see the biggest prize. What’s underneath that oversized portrait of the birthday boy.
St. Remi: So, last time, bro… damn thing had a ninja in it.
Clearwater: New Blood Wrestling was crazy. I don’t know how someone like you could have survived it… but surely, we won’t see something like that tonight.
Wilds holds back a fist, knowing fans want to see what’s inside that giant cocoon. He goes to punch it, but Defenestration Jones spoils that. She drives him to the mat via back suplex to epic booing. She then takes a look at that cartoonish totem of Masuda Jubei but just says “hell no” and walks away. Wilds recovers right into her grasp.
St. Remi: No fair… I wanna see what’s inside!
Clearwater: Maybe next time. Jones looking to put him away.
St. Remi: Fans overlooked her weeks ago. Now, she can prove them all wrong.
Clearwater: She got his arms locked… double underhook suplex!
St. Remi: Get him girl!
1!
2!
Clearwater: Wilds kicked out! And this arena just sighed in relief.
St. Remi: Oh man, Defenestration is NOT playing anymore!
Clearwater: Figure-four neck lock! Wilds is in danger!
Leon Dread breaks it up with a swing of that hockey stick. Jone escapes, letting Jaice face the brunt of Hell’s favorite demon. An act unpunished until Johnny Blaze comes hot from hell with a leaping lariat, taking both giants to the floor. Jones rushes in for a pin.
1!
2!
St. Remi: Dude!
Clearwater: Wilds with a victory roll up!
1!
2!
3!
Jessica: Pin fall, Jaice Wilds… and we are now under 8 minutes!
Clearwater: Decision time for Wilds. Do you chance the field, or run for your life?
St. Remi: Maybe both. Pick your spots and stay out of those behemoths’ grasp. He’s got the footwork and the speed. Now it’s time to put them to the test.
Jones gets up madder than hell. Rage misplaced, as she walks right into a lucha-style arm drag. Then a second albeit sloppier version. Fans deride her careless style, but she charges once more, nailing a thunderclap of a yakuza kick.
Clearwater: She just turned Wilds inside out! And there she goes again with that leg choke!
St. Remi: Jones wants to tire out the speedster. Or else no one’s catching that roadrunner.
Clearwater: Could he tap here?
Wilds manages to roll the move to one side, rocking himself free. Although he looks noticeably drained after that exchange. Jones returns with a kitchen sink knee, dropping Jaice Wilds to the canvas. Jones punches straight through a colorful pinata of Minnie Mouse--a knockoff, actually, with blue and white trousers--that goes POOF!
St. Remi: What the hell was that?
Clearwater: I think that pinata just exploded! Fans here loving that flashpaper.
St. Remi: Stop it! She could have been injured! Shame on all of you!
Clearwater: Might have to draw on some new eyebrows. Nothing major.
St. Remi: Oh laugh it up… and there goes the monsters again, tearing down Tokyo.
Clearwater: More big strikes between those two towers!
St. Remi: Something has to give, Mikey. They can’t keep this up forever!
Dread and Blaze lock arms in a sadistic hug, which can only mean one thing. They
exchange trapped headbutts back and forth with neither man relenting. Cheers egg them on until they’re hardly standing up straight--when Blaze scores the final blow.
Clearwater: That was sickening! And I don’t think it matters who won. They’re both down.
St. Remi: Law of the scramble: Kill or be killed, bro.
Jessica: Five minutes remaining!
Clearwater: That’s the final five, and these fighters will have to kick it into overdrive.
St. Remi: Yeah, but who’s still standing?
Defenestration Jones gets up with gunpowder matted on her cheeks. Wilds has since worked his way over to the giant Jubei pinata with stars in his eyes. Everyone begs him to open that grand sculpture, all of them hoping for something grand.
St. Remi: Is it time?
Clearwater: I think so… what devious thing could lie underneath that sarcophagus?
St. Remi: We’re about to find out!
Jaice plays everyone up for a minute before taking hold of its obvious seams at the top of paper Masuda’s dome. Three good pulls opens to an explosion of confetti, streamers and a nightmarish cloud of brass tacks. Wilds recoils as it contents rain everywhere.
St. Remi: Thumbtacks? What is this… ’95 at the Hammerstein?
Clearwater: Wilds escapes in time, but the ring is now a hardcore hellscape.
St. Remi: Jones coming in hot--a head scissors sends her to the mat.
Clearwater: Instant reflexes… what’s he got there?
After puncturing a globe-shaped pinata, Jaice has an APW themed soccer ball. He returns to form like riding a bike, juggling the ball between his knees and ankles. Leon Dread looks up to see the ball fired at his head.
Clearwater: Missile strike--he caught it!
St. Remi: Who knew Dread played goalie? And shot puts it back at wilds!
Clearwater: Bicycle kick!
Jaice answered the return volley with a sideways, midair kick that sent the ball spiraling in Dread and Blaze’s direction. However, it pegged Jones up side her temple first.
Clearwater: Oh my! Jones is out cold!
St. Remi: And then there were three… walking straight into the center of town.
Jessica: Three minutes remain!
Blaze shakes out the cobwebs, grinning at all those thumbtacks littering the floor. Leon cracks his knuckles looking stoically calm. Jaice Wilds, once on the run, looks for a killing blow with both ogres standing between him and The Master’s special prize.
St. Remi: Leon Dread quickdraws! Did he just throat punch Johnny Blaze?
Clearwater: But he’s not done yet! He’s got Jaice Wilds right where he wants him!
St. Remi: He fight all he wants, but Dread wants the powerbomb.
Clearwater: He’s running Wilds into the corner! He could end it all here!
Like Spiderman, Jaice Wilds reverses the release powerbomb by catching him in the ropes. He then springs off them for a rebounding tornado kick.
Clearwater: Wilds comes back with a vengeance! Wait, he’s going back up top!
St. Remi: Aerial Ace! I love that corkscrew senton!
Clearwater: Oh no! Blaze is still up!
Johnny Blaze deadlifts Wilds out off the pin and belly-to-belly suplexes him on that bed of thumbtacks. Jaice leaps up and rolls around, digging at each painful sting. Seeing Leon Dread on the ground and out cold, he lifts up the two hundred and eighty pounder and hits him with a face-first avalanche piledriver.
St. Remi: Leon just got Lit Up!
Clearwater: And the cover!
1!
2!
3!
Jessica: And your winner of the second annual pinata scramble… Johnny Blaze!
Lights dim with traditional Japanese instruments playing a folk melody. The rings clears, all except the winner, Johnny Blaze, who waits for his supposed reward. When from both dugouts emerge a lovable herd of sumo wrestlers from the infamous Dewanoumi-beya stable. Fans adore them and their colorful summer kimonos. Their leader has them file behind him like happy dumplings.
Clearwater: I think this is the surprise?
St. Remi: I want to see where they’re going with this…
Clearwater: Knowing Jubei, this can’t be a good thing for Johnny Blaze.
Blaze lets the wall of humanity surround him--as if he had choice by now. On command, the sumos clap their hands and belt out a “dosukoi!”
Clearwater: He looks impressed.
St. Remi: Yeah, he’s finally with guys in his weight class.
Clearwater: Still seems fishy to me… wait, are they adjusting microphones?
St. Remi: Yeah, I think so.
The entire group hums until achieving harmony, interlocking hands as they do.
Blaze has no idea how to react when the stadium reaches this serene silence. Then, as magically as it all began, their songs ends. After a unison “Hoi!” their leader walks to Johnny’s side. While they aren’t the same height, his powerful personality all but makes up for that gap. He then retrieves a little red ball with the word “surprise” written over a tiny scroll. Breaking the seal, he then gives the note to a student that knows English.
Sumo: Upon completion of this great match, Head Metal Commissioner Irina Ivanov is proud to offer you a title shot at the APW Hardcore Title on a future date of her choosing. Congratulations!
His stablemates join in congratulating Johnny Blaze with a waist high bow. They then take him off to wherever they are partying for the night as guest of honor.
Clearwater: That was magical… are you crying?
St. Remi: I want a sumo serenade.
Clearwater: Don’t we all? Jubeilation II will be right back with our stellar main event. Don’t go anywhere!
"The Master" Masuda Jubei vs Jason "Skarr" Zurra
Clearwater: It’s come to that time of the evening, a match over a year in the making. What more can we say that the ring won’t already tell us?
St. Remi: Damn straight. If you don’t know this beef. This hatred. You don’t know wrestling!
Clearwater: It’s Zurra. It’s Jubei. It’s go time!
Jessica Kaine gets into the ring to austere silence. Fans all but stand with a hand over their hearts in anticipation. Yokohama has since slipped into night, and with it, every stadium light blasts to their full brightness.
Jessica: This match is a Yokohama Street Fight… and it will be for one fall.
“New Eden” by Animals as Leaders begins slow, pumping Yokohama Stadium’s blood into a frenzy. Then it hits, louder than any song on the show, playing out Jason Zurra from the home team’s bullpen. Auron Vega accompanies him to the ground floor, but Jason sends him to the back. Fans absolutely love this and the white light preceding his almost angelic entrance into the ballpark.
Jessica: Making his way to the ring, from Anaheim, California. Weighing in at 225 pounds… Jason "Skaaaar" ZURRRRR-AAAAAA!
Clearwater: Two months ago, he still fought his own body just to walk. Doctors told Jason Zurra he would never lace his boots again--let alone walk without assistance. Miracles do happen, folks, and they’re happening tonight at Jubeilation.
St. Remi: But he’s not afraid to be here. Jason challenged, unsuccessfully, one of the greatest legends in pro-wrestling history in a losing effort, mind you.
Clearwater: He took on Odin Balfore by himself without help from ASU allies. He did it on his own merits and skills. That’s dedication. That’s what wrestling is all about.
Zurra enters to blue and white streamers raining from every direction. Some even lean over barricades to meet his presence.
Clearwater: He knows why these fans are behind him--and it’s not for the well wishes or inspiration. They want someone to finally shut up Masuda Jubei.
St. Remi: Maybe, but he’s not going to take this match lightly. Zurra and Jubei have quite a sordid history too. What’s to stop Masuda, on his b-day special no less, from making an example of Zurra?
All that energy gets sucked up when the opening base of “Der Konig der Dunkelheit” begins. There’s a resounding gong, and finally, Masuda Jubei arms crossed and the APW World Heavyweight Title across his upper waist. Their hatred is epic.
Jessica: And his opponent… from Yokohama, Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan… weighing 220 pounds… leader of the Masuda Corporation, and your reigning Alpha Pro-Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion… “The Master” Maaa-suuu-daaaaaa Juuuu-bei!
Clearwater: As he makes the long walk across the outfield, you can only imagine what must be going through the mind of his opponent.
St. Remi: Fighter’s don’t dwell in the ring, bro. You have to be laser-focused.
Clearwater: But Jubei is still playing this crowd. We can feel the tension!
St. Remi: Well duh, he knows how to play people. How do think he’s gotten this far?
Masuda finishes milking his entrance by the second round of chorus, with an honorable wiping of his feet before stepping into the ring. Zurra has his eyes closed with zen-like focus. Jubei walks within several feet of him when local referee, Nagata Sanshiro, stops him from making early contact.
Clearwater: How could this get better?
St. Remi: Uh, Mike… who are these guys?
Clearwater: What do mean we’re being replaced?
There’s an audible amount of shuffling offscreen, when suddenly, two different voices come through entirely in Japanese. Fans back home then see subtitles on the screen.
Akita: Welcome Alpha Pro-Wrestling, and happy 47th birthday to Masuda Jubei!
Mori: Indeed. He shall show us what brought him to championship gold.
Akita: And we have the bell… Masuda-sama taking charge early.
Mori: He has mastered takedowns. Zurra must find another way to attack.
Akita: Masuda-sama transitioning to a dragon sleeper. Zurra in trouble!
Mori: He wants to stretch that bad back. No doubt, he intends to destroy the commissioner once and for all. We shall see.
While not a perfect mat wrestler, Zurra elbows his way out and back to his feet. Jubei slows things down by getting right in Jason’s face. He puts out a hand and taps his chin. Fans want him dead. Zurra steps back and answers with a yakuza kick.
Akita: The Master grabbed his foot.
Mori: He knew what Zurra would do.
Akita: Ohhh! Kappa Lock!
Mori: Careless planning from the commissioner.
Akita: He wants the ropes, but there are no breaks in a street fight.
Mori: All part of The Master’s plan to annihilate Jason Zurra.
Auron Vega looks on from the bullpen steps. He can barely watch as Masuda stretches his oldest ally in every way the body’s not supposed to go. After forgetting the rope break rules, Zurra crawls halfway outside the ring. In addition to baseball bricabrack, some other street fight staples sit outside like a toy store. His fingertips stick onto an aluminum trash can and remove its lid.
Akita: Direct hit! Another! Another!
Mori: Weapons save the day for him. Such is a street fight… disgusting.
Akita: Masuda-sama looks dazed. Zurra hits him again!
Mori: He was out of options. His body is not ready for such competition.
Jason pulls Masuda under the ropes with a thud. He then props him over the trash can while looking for some elevation. Overhead claps get the crowd behind him in route to a crescent axe kick, which flattens the trash can with Jubei’s torso.
Akita: What a kick from the commissioner!
Mori: He lost his job to Irina Ivanov… he’s got no authority over this match.
Akita: Zurra swings the arm… Oh! Blue Daze! He wants to submit Jubei!
Mori: Let’s see if he can even hold on.
Masuda wakes up with his neck and shoulder in jeopardy. Zurra returns the favor with dominant mat play, using every angle to keep that free arm from striking him.
Mori: He cannot let Masuda get in a strike.
Akita: His elbows are dangerous… but Zurra is still in control.
Mori: Just you wait… Masuda-sama knows how to get out of this.
Jubei feels around until gripping onto a kendo stick. Before he can fly swat Zurra, grabs the weapon and tears it from Jubei’s single. Leverage alone is not enough to overpower him; however, the distraction gives Jubei just enough time to roll move into a roll up.
1!
Mori: He won’t need cheap tactics. He is The Master!
Akita: Zurra broke free, but he’s done a number on Jubei’s arm. It might be useless as he tries to flick feeling back into the limb.
Mori: It might take some time, but he will recover. So long as The Master avoids more damage to that shoulder.
Akita: Isn’t he left handed?
Mori: Yes, another critical oversight by his opponent.
Kicks hit the midsection until Jubei catches one and throws Zurra onto his back. He follows with a nasty soccer kick to the chest. Adrenaline surges him off the floor, but Jubei has a full force chop waiting when he does. Jason doubles over gripping his chest after that thunderclap left an imprint of a 47 year old hand.
Akita: Masuda-sama has that kendo stick again. Oh no! Right across the back.
Mori: The brat deserves lashes. No more crybabies!
Each strike stripes Zurra’s back until the cane ultimately splits. Jubei then goes to the side and baseball swings it up side his temple, splitting the ASU leader wide open. Fans hate that so much that some want to jump in and attack The Master.
Akita: He planned for months, praying for the day he could do this Jason Zurra. Now the day of his reckoning has come.
Mori: Masuda-sama knew how to win the day. Now we witness his strategies.
Akita: Surfboard stretch!
Mori: Now he can disassemble this man piece-by-piece.
That’s not enough to sate his bloodlust. Jubei breaks the hold and pulls Zurra to his feet. He then sets up a butterfly suplex--stalling the move for effect, and to piss off the fans--and slams Zurra’s back against that unforgiving ring apron.
Mori: Butterfly suplex… mastered by Andre the Giant, and now, Masuda Jubei.
Akita: Can Zurra even walk after that?
Mori: Masuda-sama designed this be his downfall… he won’t relent now.
Masuda then takes a seat on the announce table and gets a drink of water. Zurra writhes there on his side, helpless as to what else The Master has in store for him. Jubei walks over him to dump the rest of that bottled water on Zurra’s face.
Akita: Gasping for air! Shouldn’t he just give up?
Mori: If he lacks courage… but I sense more pride than that. He’ll break soon enough. We can all see it in his eyes.
Akita: Jubei rolls him into the ring. What’s he doing?
Mori: Maximizing punishment.
Masuda grabs one wrist, then the other, and uses the ropes for a sadistically modified surfboard stretch the ref can only plead for Jubei to release.
Akita: The Master is coming our way again… he wants a microphone.
Mori: Because he still has mercy in his heart. But Zurra must ask for it.
Akita: Will he though?
Mori: No. He’s too proud.
Masuda pulls Jason’s head backwards, and with a couple playful slaps, puts the mic in his face. His eyes look but don’t seem to even know what’s in front of them.
Jubei: This all ends… but you have to ask for mercy.
Jason: No…
Jubei: What’s that?
Jason: No.
The Master looks to the crowd and shrugs--right before bashing him on the back of the head with his mic. Zurra flops over as the big screen closes up on the dent left in Masuda’s microphone. When a sudden pop surges from every bleacher.
Akita: Auron Vega in route. He’s seen enough!
Mori: He’s going to meet the same fate.
Akita: Masuda-sama waving him on… leaping forearm!
Mori: He’ already winded. Those strikes mean nothing.
Jubei takes several, letting Jason’s personal physician and ally tire himself out. It all happens as the unimpressed Yoshinoka Mori predicted from the announce table. His expression still looks annoyed and unapproachable albeit having his prophecy come true. After a dozen weakening hits, Jubei knees Dr. Vega to the ground. He then tears open Vega’s silky shirt. Going “shh” garners heavy boos.
Akita: What a chop! His might be the best in the business!
Mori: They are. This doctor is now living proof to them.
Akita: Another! Masuda-sama will not let him get away with interfering in his match.
Mori: Vega deserves to be admonished. No one interrupts Masuda-sama!
Auron then gets whipped into the steel steps. Jubei leaves him there to rot while getting up onto the apron. Fans erupt as a formless slop of humanity grabs his waist and delivers a saito suplex, slamming the World Champion into the ring’s center.
Akita: Masuda-sama gripping that right shoulder.
Mori: Jason Zurra finally did something smart. It won’t be enough.
Akita: That suplex must have hit the same spot.
Mori: It did. But as we said before, Masuda-sama is left-handed. He’s still in control.
Auron gets to his knees outside and slides a chair into the ring. Seeing this puts fire in Masuda’s eyes. He rolls to the outside, still holding his shoulder as he does, and puts the boot to Vega against the steps. He then sets Auron on the top stair like a chopping block. Despite pleas and rage from the stands, Jubei delivers a measured stomp knocking the doctor out cold.
Akita: Jubei just sent a message.
Mori: One only fools won’t receive. He is The Master and none shall overthrow him.
Akita: Who’s that coming out of the dugout? It’s the ASU!
Mori: Disgraceful.
Pandemonium breaks loose from there with Vasillis Knight and Gideon Chesyre having seen enough. A wall of Ikeda clan swarm them from the opposite dugout like an army of agent smiths. Masuda returns to the ring, watching the situation diffuse from a safe distance. His people eventually drag off Knight, Dr. Vega and Gideon to the back with the help of armed security. Masuda waves goodbye to them.
Akita: Now we can get back to wrestling… where Masuda-sama has taken full control of the ring. Even after all that time, Jason Zurra has been thoroughly destroyed.
Mori: Jubei wants him to suffer, but he also knows every second can turn from his favor.
Akita: He’s going for the leg… Oh no! Kappa Lock! He’s got it on again!
Mori: Don’t be an idiot. Tap!
Akita: Fans are behind Jason Zurra. He can’t give up now.
Mori: He must. For the sake of all that’s good. Give up!
Jubei locks the hold for a long while before getting fed up. He kicks Zurra under the chin and releases the hold so he grab that dented mic.
Akita: Another! His Kappa Lock can end careers.
Mori: And it will tonight if Zurra doesn’t surrender.
Jubei leans in with the mic, but Jason has the strength to slap it away. The Master wails on his leg several times before thrusting it back into his face. Fans back home are treated to subtitles across the screen, much as they have for the entire match.
Jubei: Will you kneel before me?
Jason: No!
Jubei: Fine, your choice!
He tosses the mic across the ring while getting more leverage on the knee bar. No one at home or in the stands hears it, but that telltale sound of a sports injury summons the veteran official to Zurra’s aid. He waves for a stoppage to the chagrin of nine thousand stunned faces. Jebei, however, has yet to release his hold.
Jessica: And your winner… “The Master” Masuda Jubei!
Akita: The match is over… you can let him go, Masuda-sama!
Mori: He wants unconditional surrender. Only then will the torment end.
Akita: I think he’s unconscious.
Mori: No, the stubborn will of a warrior never relents.
More officials, including Spanky O'Shaughnessy and Jasmine Silk, cannot pull Jubei out of the hold. He then asks for the microphone, shoving it into Zurra’s face once more.
Jubei: Do you give up?
Zurra: No…
Jubei: Do it already! You’re holding up the cake!
Zurra: I hate… cake!
The Master gets up, and no sooner do referees whisk Jason onto a stretcher board. Jubei goes to the ropes with the mic still in hand.
Jubei: Let him stay for cake at least. Poor boy’s earned it… as for the rest, I expected better of you, Yokohama. This is my home. Where the name Masuda rose from the middle of nothing to that building overlooking us now. My legacy continues with APW, and it’s far from finished. Even though no one here deserves it… we’re having cake. So be happy and stop with all these tears for Jason Zurra. He overcame a spinal cord injury. I merely dislocated his knee. He’ll be fine. Although if he’d GIVEN UP when I said so, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. Now stop your moaning. It’s time for cake!
Two caterers come out from backstage rolling in a massive cake with the likeness of Masuda Jubei with the APW World Championship belt slung over his shoulder in rich icing. They struggle quite a bit to get it into the ring without incident. The cake lands at centre ring as an exhausted but happy Masuda admires the intricate handiwork and artistry that has been put into his likeness on his birthday cake. All of the stadium lights blast to full white. The camera zooms in close to Masuda’s face as it falls from the jubilance of victory to a Munch-esque gawk resembling Edvard Munch’s The Scream. He stares towards the home plate crowd where fans are parting for someone. The lights slowly fade to darkness. The light of the moon and the stars above allow for some visibility. The opening guitar riff from Linkin Park’s ‘Waiting For The End’ rocks the speakers. The haunting double piano note chimes in and the beat kicks in as well. Every spotlight in the joint floods with bright white light towards that section. After a beat, they all scramble to the ring where Jubei awaits Jones. Smith Jones hops the retaining wall and comes out of the crowd directly behind Masuda Jubei! The APW fanbase comes completely unglued! Smitty spins Masuda and tattoos him with a right hand flush on the jaw. He then quickly hits the rope and comes back to lay Masuda flat with a running Yakuza kick between the eyes! WHAM!!! Jubei tries to get his wobbly legs under him. Just as he does, Smitty grabs Masuda by the back of the head and smushes his face into the cake!!! Icing goes flying and Masuda comes up with his face completely covered in cake and icing. Jones steps in behind Masuda and connect with his Backstabber to the neck finisher!
Akita: PoC!!! The Point of Controversy!!!
Mori: Defiler! Smith Jones was not supposed to be in Japan!
Akita: We had our suspicions! He’s not done yet!!!
With Jubei now lying face down on the canvas, Jones hops up onto the second rope and pulls down his right kneepad. He then steps all the way up to the top rope!
Akita: If he hits this knee drop to the back of Masuda-sama’s head, we may have an injured champion on our hands!!
Smith Jones comes flying off the top rope with his alternate knee drop finisher Gravitas! But, Masuda is dragged out of harm’s way by the caterers!!! BOOM!!! Jones’ bare knee crashes down on the mat hard! Jones is in agony, clutching his knee. The caterers prop Masuda up and help him over to the downed Smitty. The caterers then pick Jones up and hand him to Masuda. Master Jubei hooks Jones up in the reverse suplex position.
Akita: He’s setting up for the Masuda Driver!!!
Mori: This attack by Smith Jones has failed. He overreached.
Akita: Smitty has no chance against The Masuda Corporation all by himself!
‘We Are’ by Aldious starts to play. The crowd absolutely erupts! Masuda unhands Jones.
Akita: Tsukiko! Tsukiko is running full tilt towards ringside!!!
Mori: How dare they!
She slides in under the bottom rope and stands next to Smitty with balled fists. Jason Zurra is now stirring at ringside as well!
Akita: Smith Jones is NOT alone!!
Jubei, caked in cake, has his eyes bulge out of his head. He is in trouble here. Jones lunges at Masuda and grabs him by the throat with both hands! Tsukiko runs the ropes and connects with a high impact running left knee strike to the back of Smith’s head!!!
Akita: She hit Smith Jones?!?!!
Mori: Can it be true?
Jones hits the canvas with a thud. Master Jubei stands tall over Jones as Tsukiko stands side by side with Masuda Jubei. Her face is deadly serious as Masuda continues to chuckle and laugh at the fallen Jones through a mask of rich icing. Medics pull Jones outside to check on him, Jason Zurra unattended on the stretched. Smith begins to regains himself and has to waves all of them off.
Akita: Has Tsukiko joined The Masuda Corporation???
Mori: May she enjoy this today’s glory!
Akita: Can you believe the impact of that running Tsukibureekaa knee strike to the back of Smith’s head?! He looks on unsteady after that!
Mori: Disgraceful! Some fan just handed Smith Jones a steel chair!!
Akita: Is he protecting Jason Zurra?
Mori: No, he’s weaponized!
Akita: Smith Jones storming back into the ring!
Masuda Jubei and Tsukiko square up for combat. Smitty swings hard at Masuda, but he just barely evades impact, diving out of the ring through the ropes. Jones smashes one of the caterers with the steel chair! Tsukiko ducks another vicious shot, letting the second caterer eat it to the side of the head. That lackey falls harder to the mat. Masuda and Tsukiko walk backwards towards the home bullpen as Smith Jones remains inside the ring--that dented chair in hand--while the Masuda Corporation theme “Namahage” plays to panning shots of him, Masuda and Tsukiko, and the agony on Jason Zurra’s face. The APW copyright logo comes up over a final shot of Masuda Jubei--that patented smirk gaining through--as he wipes icing from his face. Fade to black.
