Post by lukeforce on Sept 8, 2019 22:59:13 GMT -5
(We are in Ford E450 Caravan Bus that Luke has had retrofitted to serve as training bus for qp’s upcoming Party Bus Match at Jubeilation II in Tokyo. On the outside the bus is black with the qp logo and headshots of Luke, Apex, and Teddy. In an orange cursive text are the words “Party Express”. As we look around the outside of the “qp Party Express” we see mounds and mounds of beer , wine, and liquor bottles.
TEDDY GEISEL: Fuck dude, again?
LUKE FORCE: Everyday until the match, it’s how we have to train for this one. C’mon, go get Apex up, I’ll start to mix breakfast. I want to get going.
TEDDY GEISEL: Why do I have to get Apex up? He’s going to be hungover and angry. I don’t want any part of that.
LUKE FORCE: Join the club. Here, try plan B
(Luke tosses Teddy an air horn and a large clamp.)
TEDDY GEISEL: Oh shit, a sound grenade.
(Teddy, being a former Explosive Ordinance Disposal team member in the Navy, knew just what to do. Teddy placed the clamp on the air horn, opened the curtain to Apex Onyx’s sleeping area, tossed the air horn into the room, shut the curtains and dashed toward the front of the bus. As Teddy reaches the front, Luke hands him a pitcher of Bloody Mary. Teddy takes the pitcher and Luke hops into the driver’s seat and starts the Ford E450 Party Bus.)
LUKE FORCE: how is he still sleeping I can hear that air horn up here and it’s loud.
TEDDY GEISEL: Sleeping? You fed the guy 26 shots of Saki last night, are you sure he’s not dead.
LUKE FORCE: The Sound grenade is great when you’re not in a bus. Go back there and turn that thing off, man.
(Teddy heads reluctantly back to Apex’s sleeping area to undo the sound grenade.)
LUKE FORCE: Before you do, chug this pitcher, don’t forget, we’re training.
TEDDY GEISEL: We’re training?
LUKE FORCE: Chug. And then stop that air horn.
(Teddy chugs the Bloody Mary and goes to Apex and gets searches for the air horn grenade. He finds it and is just about to disassemble it when he is wrapped up into a crossface chicken wing. The air horn is still blaring, Luke is intentionally driving like a wild man and Teddy is squirming trying to say something.)
TEDDY GEISEL: Yhng itchs mmm Tdd. A..A..itdc mm.
APEX ONYX: Mayne, what da fuck? Yo cut that noise!
TEDDY GEISEL: Isnm trybng. Lt m gggo.Itdcs mmm Tdygbnh.
APEX ONYX: Yo cut the fucking noise!
(The bus takes a huge left turn and Apex, Teddy, and the sound grenade go flying across the bus. Apex still appears unaware of what is happening, he still ahs Teddy wrapped up tight. Teddy is still unable to tell Apex it is him and Luke is unwilling to say anything to clear it all up. )
APEX ONYX: Yo, some mother fucking body bettah turn that gat damn sound off before I break whatever the fuck it is I’m holding!
(With that, Luke slams on the breaks and Apex comes flying to the front of the bus. Teddy had been able to grab the stripper pole and was able to stay where he was, free of Apex’s grip. Luke walks to the sound grenade and disassembles it. He then quickly produces 3 more pitchers of Bloody Mary and hands Teddy one and Apex 2. Apex takes the pitchers and seems to sort of understand what just happened, sort of.)
LUKE FORCE: Drink up, you're playing catch up Apex.
APEX ONYX: Drink up? What time is it? What happened last night? Why was I just wrestling with Teddy?
LUKE FORCE: All great questions. We’ll start to answer them after you clear
your head with some Bloody Mary’s.
(Apex gulps down both pitchers and shakes the cobwebs out.. Luke is back behind the wheel and Teddy and Apex are kickin back with some Sapporo beer.)
APEX ONYX: So tell us what you know about these dykes Luke.
LUKE FORCE: I know a little about them from WCF days. They are drama seeking basic bitches. Same sorry ass story as the next. A real waste of puss if you ask me.
TEDDY GEISEL: What about the ring ability?
LUKE FORCE: Mediocre at best. But this training we are doing will easily give us the edge.
APEX ONYX: I’ll drink to that.
(Apex gulps down a beer and throws the empty can out the window. Teddy does the same. Apex finds something his seat.)
APEX ONYX: What is this?
TEDDY GEISEL: Oh shit, it’s a mini Casio keyboard from back in the day.
APEX ONYX: Damn! I used to be the mack on the mini Casio.
TEDDY GEISEL: Lay a beat down Apex, let me say something:
I bust some drunk rhymes
Cause its fun time
I kick ass all day not just some time
You could never beat me, not even one time
Used to beat my meat to porn on Showtime
When QP gets in the ring you know its go time
ONYX: And when Geisels’s on the mic you know it’s flow time
when I see a girl I like you know it’s blow time
when I say hello in Philly, that is yo time
Step up now and get your ass kicked, there is no line
No need to make appointments, this is yo time
When I think of Rose and Moore, I think of ho time
I would kill myself too if I was yo dime
You’ll never see her ass again, not one mo time
We kick your ass and, then again I go rhyme
I’m just so fine
This match is so mine
You cant just hit the snooze, there is no time
Like George Takei, I ‘ve got you saying “Oh My”
I think I know why
You’d rather have a chick licking yo thigh
If I got one night with you, I’d be yo guy
Cause I’m so fly
My game is so tight
My game is so right
My game goes all night
I do it in the dark, I go with no light
Apex is black, I am so white
QP wears you down til you got no fight
Then we make the choice to which ho might
Crumble under pressure like dolomite
This aint a solo fight
We doing YOLO right
You only lose once tonight is yo night
dykes with a mouth full of snatch
Trust me aint nothin wrong with that
But I still put your ass to the mat
If you ask what I do, It’s that
We aint like any other cats
QP got each other’s backs
Step up and your ass will get smacked
I got opinions, but these are all facts
I need to look at your phone contacts
Got to make sure
eed dial intact
Not sure how Doc gonna react
When you check in with a broken back
Your now a trophy on my wall full of plaques
Consider this beatdown a tax
Up a river no paddle but you’re in a kayak
I got the answers like the paperback almanac, that I pack in the back of the gunny sack that I store in my ruck sack back pack, then throw in the trunk of my all black Cadillac to hide it from the kleptomaniacs, not a doctor but like Seuss I’m a braniac, you got your contract from a box of Cracker Jacks, look at me different, I’m a parallax. You two are a quivering pair of hacks, I put my foot in you like a pair of slacks, QP repels all their attacks, get a big batch of sterile packs, cause we beat your ass til you near collapse, if I wrote about all my immoral acts I would four more paragraphs,. On behalf of the QP staff, I put my autograph below your epitaph and laugh. You're in the wrong habitat, and the 3 count happens on your back, and your night just ended like that.
(the Part Express speeds off with beer cans and wine bottle flying out the windows
