The Story of Chef Le Bleu and Fighting Billy Ray Cyrus
Aug 18, 2019 16:42:15 GMT -5
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Post by 'Jazzy' John McCarty on Aug 18, 2019 16:42:15 GMT -5
It was a busy night at the House of Blues. The kids section was packed as their parents dined in the fine dining section, and all the rowdy drunks occupied the sports bar.
Of course, 'Jazzy' John McCarty, the Bartender and Bert were behind the bat serving drinks. There were so many people, that there started to be a queue behind the bar. John and Bert were quickly making the cocktails while the Bartender was entertaining the guests with some cool tricks.
Bartender: I call this one 'walking the dog'!
Guests: Ooooh!
But in a busy night at a bar, it's not just the bartenders that need to work hard, some thought needs to be spared for the chefs working behind the scenes.
Chef Le Bleu: I need a steak well done!
Chef 1: Yes chef!
Chef Le Bleu: I also need some beer-battered fish!
Chef 2: Yes sir!
Chef Le Bleu: I am no sir! I am sir when I am knighted by the queen! I am no sir! I am Chef Le Bleu!
Chef 2: Yes chef!
Chef Le Bleu: Thank you! Where is the hollandaise? This dish is useless without hollandaise!
Chef 3: On the fish?
Chef Le Bleu: Not on the fish, you fool!
Chef 4: On its way, chef!
Chef Le Bleu: Hurry up then! Any slower, you would be escargot!
John: Another order, chef. Having fun yet?
Chef Le Bleu: Fun? Of course! I'm having more fun than a honeymoon couple in Paris if you know what I mean, hehe.
It remained busy until the stroke of midnight, where it became dead silent, much to the disappointment of Chef Le Bleu. He started to clean the kitchen so he could leave earlier than the usual time.
John: It's dead. Let's close early.
Bartender: It's open until 2am, John. We can't close now!
It was eventually 1:59am, and just when John was about to close, a woman in a stunning red dress walked in.
John: Jade?
Jade: The one and only.
Chef Le Bleu walked out of the now clean kitchen.
Chef Le Bleu: No. No! No food for you! I am leaving!
John: Au revoir, chef.
Jade: What's his deal?
John: That's Chef Le Bleu. He's just angry that I let a customer in just when he finished cleaning the kitchen.
Jade: Did he have to yell so much?
John: That's just how he rolls. He had a tough childhood.
Jade: Really? How do you know?
John: I'm just so good at having a general conversation, anything I want to know, I get to know.
Jade: So his childhood?
John: Well…
--- *flashback* ---
His father was world famous chef, Chef Le Bloir. He was a very harsh father, which I guess is why he’s a bit grumpy these days.
Chef Le Bloir: What do you want to be when you grow up, son?
Lil Le Bleu: I wanna be the best chef in the world!
Chef Le Bloir: Well that will never happen because I am the best chef in the world. You can only be second best. In fact, even better, don’t be a chef. Because if you become a chef and you do a bad job it will be dishonourable to our family line. Become something else and pretend you’re not my son.
Sometimes, really harsh…
Lil Le Bleu: I made breakfast!
Chef Le Bloir: What did I say about becoming a chef!? No! And what is this… Scrambled egg!?!?!? Disgusting! I expected better! Go to your room
--- *end of flashback* ---
John: I don’t know why his father was so harsh, maybe it was because he’s French?
Jade: Wow, that is a wild stereotype.
John: Isn’t the fact that he’s a French chef enough of a stereotype?
Jade: Anyways, I need to apologize about last time. It turns out you weren't lying. Nice match.
John: No worries. It's hard to believe someone as classy as me is a wrestler.
Jade: Ugh. Anyways, what’s been going on with you?
John: Well actually, I’ve been invited to go on a talk show!
Jade: Really? That’s so cool.
John and Jade continued to talk at the bar until the sun rose. Then they realised they both needed to sleep.
----------------------------------------
Dustin Hoffman: Hello and welcome to tonight’s edition of ‘I’m Talking Here’! I’m your host Dustin Hoffman and tonight, we have guests Billy Ray Cyrus and Jason Statham on the show!
Crowd: Ooooooooooooooooooh!!
Dustin Hoffman: But first, he’s a wrestling superstar who just won his first match in the APW! He’s a wrestler, he’s a jazzman, he’s ‘Jazzy’ John McCarty!!
‘Jazzy’ John McCarty walks onto the set as the crowd cheers and ‘Peaches en Regalia’ starts to play.
Dustin: Welcome to the show John!
John: I’m delighted to be here.
Dustin: How’s your day been so far?
John: You know what, it’s been pretty decent actually. Had coffee, listened to jazz, read a book, did some training.
Dustin: Listened to jazz, you say? Have you listened to ‘Old Town Road’ lately?
John: No, not that piece of trash.
Dustin: Oh… the reason I asked that is because Billy Ray Cyrus is backstage right now. He’s going to perform the song tonight!
John: Well, I don’t care. I’m sorry, I genuinely don’t like the song.
Dustin: Well, I agree to disagree. I can’t get enough of it!
John: That sounds like a fight. We both know who would win, someone who fights for a job or an 82-year-old.
Dustin: That hurts, but anyways, moving on… Billy Ray what are you doing here!?
Billy Ray Cyrus storms out from backstage to the tune of ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, whilst the crowd is going nuts.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Did you just diss my song, man? ‘Old Town Road’ is a masterpiece!
John: It’s fucking trash!
Billy Ray Cyrus punches John in the face.
Crowd: Oooooooooooooooooooooh!!
Dustin: Oh my god!
John punches him back.
Dustin: Oh my god, break this up someone! Security! Security! Heck, even Jason Statham! He’s backstage isn’t he?
Billy Ray and John start to brawl as security attempt to break them up.
Dustin: Oh my god! John and Billy Ray are making the security drop like flies! A punch here, a punch there!
Billy Ray and John eventually free themselves of security and John rushes at Cyrus.
Dustin: Jesus! John just hit the Ad Lib on Billy Ray! Oh my god! Cut to break! Cut to break now!
----------------------
John: And that’s the story about how I got in a fight with Billy Ray Cyrus, and the reason why I'm never appearing on a Dustin Hoffman talk show again.
Bartender: Impressive. Nice win last Monday.
John: Why thank you. It takes great skill to win a four corners match, and great skill is what I have. Not many people can say that they have won a fight with three other people! Not one, not two, three other people!
Bartender: I believe you're in a tag match this week?
John: Yes. This Monday night, I'm teaming with Spartan to take on two familiar foes, Liliana Rose and Alex Scott.
Bartender: Tell me more about Spartan.
John: Spartan seems like a good enough fellow. He's a 'fitness spartan' which is where he gets his name. He looks pretty strong, and he won his match last week, which also was a tag match. I have briefly met up with him, and he did state he was looking forward to teaming up with me.
John: Unfortunately, I'm not really looking forward to pursuing the tag team titles. I've already done that in WCF. I've proven myself to be a strong tag team specialist, but now I want to work on my singles wrestling. I've proven that I can be a strong singles wrestler, I won that four-way match last week, now I've got my eyes on a title. I'm not sure which one, as long as its not the tag titles.
John: I'm sure Spartan feels the same way, I'm sure he wants to wrestle in more singles matches than tag matches. But, a match is a match, and I'll try my hardest no matter what match it is. And I'm sure Spartan would think the same. See, we're alike, Spartan and I. I can tell we're going to get along just fine. I'm looking forward to working with him, I really am.
Bartender: What about your opponents, what do you think of them?
John: Liliana Rose, Alex Scott. Easy. I've beaten them before, I beat them just last week, so what's gonna stop me from beating them again?
John: This week, I actually bothered to do some research on these guys. It turns out these two are actually the biggest threats to the tag team championship. It must be a pretty weak tag division then…
John: Don't get me wrong, these guys are strong contenders, but I'm starting to think the competition here is a little… so-so. I'll probably change my mind once I get into the main event.
John: But let me start on Alex Scott. I don't really know too much about him, he doesn't reveal a lot. He lacks emotion. I still don't know any more about him than I did last week. However, I did hear that I lacked something called 'hunger'. He claims that I've got other options in life and I don't strive for that title like he does. That is probably the biggest load of horse manure that I have heard in my life. He thinks he's the only hard worker in this business? He needs a reality check. Without hard work, you don't make it past your first match. We are all 'hungry' for that world title. That's what makes it so prestigious. Yes, he's hungrier for the TAG titles than I am, but there's no way he's 'hungrier' than I am.
John: And now, Lilianna Rose. Is it one or two 'n's? I can't remember. What I do remember is this; I pinned her last week. 1. 2. 3. In that four corners match was myself, Tsukiko, Scott, and Rose. Tsukiko wasn't pinned, Scott wasn't pinned, it was her. She was the weakest link. I'm sure things will change if she works hard enough, but I think I will pin her again this week.
John: I'm not really sure about these two, I feel like Alex Scott is Lilianna's bitch. Once I hear more about these two, I'll change my mind, but for now that's my opinion. Anyways, I hope Spartan's a good fellow to work with, because victory is almost certain if we work together well.
Of course, 'Jazzy' John McCarty, the Bartender and Bert were behind the bat serving drinks. There were so many people, that there started to be a queue behind the bar. John and Bert were quickly making the cocktails while the Bartender was entertaining the guests with some cool tricks.
Bartender: I call this one 'walking the dog'!
Guests: Ooooh!
But in a busy night at a bar, it's not just the bartenders that need to work hard, some thought needs to be spared for the chefs working behind the scenes.
Chef Le Bleu: I need a steak well done!
Chef 1: Yes chef!
Chef Le Bleu: I also need some beer-battered fish!
Chef 2: Yes sir!
Chef Le Bleu: I am no sir! I am sir when I am knighted by the queen! I am no sir! I am Chef Le Bleu!
Chef 2: Yes chef!
Chef Le Bleu: Thank you! Where is the hollandaise? This dish is useless without hollandaise!
Chef 3: On the fish?
Chef Le Bleu: Not on the fish, you fool!
Chef 4: On its way, chef!
Chef Le Bleu: Hurry up then! Any slower, you would be escargot!
John: Another order, chef. Having fun yet?
Chef Le Bleu: Fun? Of course! I'm having more fun than a honeymoon couple in Paris if you know what I mean, hehe.
It remained busy until the stroke of midnight, where it became dead silent, much to the disappointment of Chef Le Bleu. He started to clean the kitchen so he could leave earlier than the usual time.
John: It's dead. Let's close early.
Bartender: It's open until 2am, John. We can't close now!
It was eventually 1:59am, and just when John was about to close, a woman in a stunning red dress walked in.
John: Jade?
Jade: The one and only.
Chef Le Bleu walked out of the now clean kitchen.
Chef Le Bleu: No. No! No food for you! I am leaving!
John: Au revoir, chef.
Jade: What's his deal?
John: That's Chef Le Bleu. He's just angry that I let a customer in just when he finished cleaning the kitchen.
Jade: Did he have to yell so much?
John: That's just how he rolls. He had a tough childhood.
Jade: Really? How do you know?
John: I'm just so good at having a general conversation, anything I want to know, I get to know.
Jade: So his childhood?
John: Well…
--- *flashback* ---
His father was world famous chef, Chef Le Bloir. He was a very harsh father, which I guess is why he’s a bit grumpy these days.
Chef Le Bloir: What do you want to be when you grow up, son?
Lil Le Bleu: I wanna be the best chef in the world!
Chef Le Bloir: Well that will never happen because I am the best chef in the world. You can only be second best. In fact, even better, don’t be a chef. Because if you become a chef and you do a bad job it will be dishonourable to our family line. Become something else and pretend you’re not my son.
Sometimes, really harsh…
Lil Le Bleu: I made breakfast!
Chef Le Bloir: What did I say about becoming a chef!? No! And what is this… Scrambled egg!?!?!? Disgusting! I expected better! Go to your room
--- *end of flashback* ---
John: I don’t know why his father was so harsh, maybe it was because he’s French?
Jade: Wow, that is a wild stereotype.
John: Isn’t the fact that he’s a French chef enough of a stereotype?
Jade: Anyways, I need to apologize about last time. It turns out you weren't lying. Nice match.
John: No worries. It's hard to believe someone as classy as me is a wrestler.
Jade: Ugh. Anyways, what’s been going on with you?
John: Well actually, I’ve been invited to go on a talk show!
Jade: Really? That’s so cool.
John and Jade continued to talk at the bar until the sun rose. Then they realised they both needed to sleep.
----------------------------------------
Dustin Hoffman: Hello and welcome to tonight’s edition of ‘I’m Talking Here’! I’m your host Dustin Hoffman and tonight, we have guests Billy Ray Cyrus and Jason Statham on the show!
Crowd: Ooooooooooooooooooh!!
Dustin Hoffman: But first, he’s a wrestling superstar who just won his first match in the APW! He’s a wrestler, he’s a jazzman, he’s ‘Jazzy’ John McCarty!!
‘Jazzy’ John McCarty walks onto the set as the crowd cheers and ‘Peaches en Regalia’ starts to play.
Dustin: Welcome to the show John!
John: I’m delighted to be here.
Dustin: How’s your day been so far?
John: You know what, it’s been pretty decent actually. Had coffee, listened to jazz, read a book, did some training.
Dustin: Listened to jazz, you say? Have you listened to ‘Old Town Road’ lately?
John: No, not that piece of trash.
Dustin: Oh… the reason I asked that is because Billy Ray Cyrus is backstage right now. He’s going to perform the song tonight!
John: Well, I don’t care. I’m sorry, I genuinely don’t like the song.
Dustin: Well, I agree to disagree. I can’t get enough of it!
John: That sounds like a fight. We both know who would win, someone who fights for a job or an 82-year-old.
Dustin: That hurts, but anyways, moving on… Billy Ray what are you doing here!?
Billy Ray Cyrus storms out from backstage to the tune of ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, whilst the crowd is going nuts.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Did you just diss my song, man? ‘Old Town Road’ is a masterpiece!
John: It’s fucking trash!
Billy Ray Cyrus punches John in the face.
Crowd: Oooooooooooooooooooooh!!
Dustin: Oh my god!
John punches him back.
Dustin: Oh my god, break this up someone! Security! Security! Heck, even Jason Statham! He’s backstage isn’t he?
Billy Ray and John start to brawl as security attempt to break them up.
Dustin: Oh my god! John and Billy Ray are making the security drop like flies! A punch here, a punch there!
Billy Ray and John eventually free themselves of security and John rushes at Cyrus.
Dustin: Jesus! John just hit the Ad Lib on Billy Ray! Oh my god! Cut to break! Cut to break now!
----------------------
John: And that’s the story about how I got in a fight with Billy Ray Cyrus, and the reason why I'm never appearing on a Dustin Hoffman talk show again.
Bartender: Impressive. Nice win last Monday.
John: Why thank you. It takes great skill to win a four corners match, and great skill is what I have. Not many people can say that they have won a fight with three other people! Not one, not two, three other people!
Bartender: I believe you're in a tag match this week?
John: Yes. This Monday night, I'm teaming with Spartan to take on two familiar foes, Liliana Rose and Alex Scott.
Bartender: Tell me more about Spartan.
John: Spartan seems like a good enough fellow. He's a 'fitness spartan' which is where he gets his name. He looks pretty strong, and he won his match last week, which also was a tag match. I have briefly met up with him, and he did state he was looking forward to teaming up with me.
John: Unfortunately, I'm not really looking forward to pursuing the tag team titles. I've already done that in WCF. I've proven myself to be a strong tag team specialist, but now I want to work on my singles wrestling. I've proven that I can be a strong singles wrestler, I won that four-way match last week, now I've got my eyes on a title. I'm not sure which one, as long as its not the tag titles.
John: I'm sure Spartan feels the same way, I'm sure he wants to wrestle in more singles matches than tag matches. But, a match is a match, and I'll try my hardest no matter what match it is. And I'm sure Spartan would think the same. See, we're alike, Spartan and I. I can tell we're going to get along just fine. I'm looking forward to working with him, I really am.
Bartender: What about your opponents, what do you think of them?
John: Liliana Rose, Alex Scott. Easy. I've beaten them before, I beat them just last week, so what's gonna stop me from beating them again?
John: This week, I actually bothered to do some research on these guys. It turns out these two are actually the biggest threats to the tag team championship. It must be a pretty weak tag division then…
John: Don't get me wrong, these guys are strong contenders, but I'm starting to think the competition here is a little… so-so. I'll probably change my mind once I get into the main event.
John: But let me start on Alex Scott. I don't really know too much about him, he doesn't reveal a lot. He lacks emotion. I still don't know any more about him than I did last week. However, I did hear that I lacked something called 'hunger'. He claims that I've got other options in life and I don't strive for that title like he does. That is probably the biggest load of horse manure that I have heard in my life. He thinks he's the only hard worker in this business? He needs a reality check. Without hard work, you don't make it past your first match. We are all 'hungry' for that world title. That's what makes it so prestigious. Yes, he's hungrier for the TAG titles than I am, but there's no way he's 'hungrier' than I am.
John: And now, Lilianna Rose. Is it one or two 'n's? I can't remember. What I do remember is this; I pinned her last week. 1. 2. 3. In that four corners match was myself, Tsukiko, Scott, and Rose. Tsukiko wasn't pinned, Scott wasn't pinned, it was her. She was the weakest link. I'm sure things will change if she works hard enough, but I think I will pin her again this week.
John: I'm not really sure about these two, I feel like Alex Scott is Lilianna's bitch. Once I hear more about these two, I'll change my mind, but for now that's my opinion. Anyways, I hope Spartan's a good fellow to work with, because victory is almost certain if we work together well.
