O Canada!
Aug 4, 2019 23:00:05 GMT -5
via mobile
BonnieBlue, Bryan "Buzz" Worthy, and 2 more like this
Post by The Revenant on Aug 4, 2019 23:00:05 GMT -5
"Hardcore es a way of life for some of the eh fiercest of warriors in the square circle…"
Jobber Dave free from his Red Surge confinements stands in a heroic pose, his black and red mask glistening in the hot sunlight, next to a beautiful lake with a mountain backdrop behind it. An audience made up of Mercer Quinn, Ravenous Rick Rage, and Kyle Ryder sit in black steel chairs in front of him dressed in matching blue, green, and white Canucks hockey jerseys. Dave adjusts his mask and continues to speak.
"Jobber Dave fight el good fight in Sin City, but it was Mr. Wolf, not our coach who walked out with spoils…"
Kyle speaks up.
"One of your opponents this week fellas… But do continue on, Dave."
"Gracias, this tag match though es one that'll test your pain… Threshold?"
Dave thinks for a second and then nods.
"Si, that es what I mean. Wolf and Spartan on battlefield tested in art of broken glass, broken jaws, and broken spirit. The showing that started in Sin City has continued on til this very moments… They will be standing across the best tag team in all of Alpha Pro Wrestling, proven by your tag titles you hold close to your waists."
Mercer raises one hand while texting with the other not breaking eye contact with his social life line.
"J.D. you speak of these hardcore fellas as if they're going to be our toughest fight yet…"
"Wolf and Spartan have the fighting spirit running wild within them, mi amigos… You es eh true tag teams, you fight as a unit, as uno conquistadors. Coach Wolf train you dos pups how to fight together and that has been your strengths all along. Those Candy Stripers showed their true natures when they failed to defeat you when it truly counted and the pressure of gettings es gold for their power suit wearing big headed gringa… But where they failed and you succeeded, it will be different with two blood thirsty guerreros like the team of Lobo espartano. I speak of hardcore as if it es some mystical secret… As if it es something especialoso that you tap into, but it ES VIDA… It es life, mi amigos."
Wolf scratches his stubble like a aged rustic hound dog for a second before standing up and walking over to Jobber Dave.
"I respect you a hell of a lot kid and you truly have proven yourself in the squared circle. The things I've seen you do with a light tube is other worldly, but I believe we all agree that hardcore isn't going to be the winning factor in this match. Do I want my boys to be steadfast and ready for the time when Spartan and Wolf choose to kick things up a notch, of course, but they will win soundly with fundamentals. Tag team wrestling will decide the winners this week and no one does it better than The Canadian Coalition, that's something you write your madre aboot."
Rick and Quinn whoop in unison.
"Sowry if you don't see it that way, JD, but this isn't New Blood Wrestling… This isn't Vincent Pryde's blood thirsty company. This is Alpha PRO Wrestling and as professionals we wrestle the top of our class and we put on matches that are considered instant classics, eh? There's no bums here except maybe Jaice Wildez, but that's a whole other unmasking story… The boys earned their tag titles because the moment they stepped foot in APW they promised one thing overall and that is they will be the ones to build the tag team division…"
Kyle pats David on the shoulder.
"Now, i have a simple question… Did they do back up their promise when they won the tag titles, JD?"
Jobber Dave nods slowly.
"Si, they did senor…"
Kyle nods along.
"And as the representation for the tag team division, shouldn't they go into this match with Spartan and Wolf with enough fortitude to know how to properly win, even if they choose to be a cohesive thrown together tag team?"
JD shrugs a bit.
"I understand, too many chair shots to that dome of yours, but I have been training these boys to tag team wrestle before you were even thinking of covering that handsome face of yours, donchaknow… Now don't let our demeanor and positive thinking fool ya. We're not going into this match thinking it's gonna be easier than eating a whole platter of Mrs. Dinah's O'Canada combination plate…"
Kyle winks at Rick.
"Right, big guy?"
Rick chuckles and pats his belly as Quinn finally puts his phone away, to speak up.
"It's all about being cohesively focused out there this week… Where Spartan and Wolf hate each other with a burning passion of a thousand buzzing chain saws, they hate losing more than that. They want to destroy the loveable Canucks from the north and they want to cut Rick off from the sweet American buffet line!"
Rick rubs the back of his head, confused.
"What?"
Quinn smirks a sheepishly evil smirk.
"Can't you see what Spartan and Wolf are trying to do, Rick? They want to steal ALL that American cuisine for themselves and leave not even a single scrap for you… How does that make you feel, Rick?"
Rick starts to hulk up and shaking his head no.
"Does it make you angry, Rick? Does it bring forth THE RAGE?!"
Jobber Dave starts clapping and chanting over and over again.
"RAGE! RAGE! RAGE!"
Quinn delivers a Ric Flair-esque knife edge chop across Rick's chest and Rick stands to his feet as quickly as he possibly can. He gets nose to nose with Quinn, not backing down an inch.
"Those boys want to take away the one thing I love more in this world and they expect me to just sit idly by and let IT HAPPEN?! EH?!"
Quinn starts to back down and Rick grabs him up by front of his collar.
"Quinn! Spartan and Wolf may be EXTREME, but they are going to be extremely disappointed when I'M THE ONE EATING WELL and they're left without a single SPECK to munch on! They believe they're hardcore and that we aren't anything more than the tag team title holders of Alpha Pro Wrestling? Well these boys!"
Rick lifts Quinn up a bit more from the collar.
"You and ME! ARE THE ENTIRE TAG DIVISION AND WE ARE HUNGRY, QUINN! RIGHT?!"
Quinn nods uncomfortably, while and Kyle and Jobber Dave stand with giant smiles on their faces.
"Ri-right, Rick. You're right…"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, QUINN!"
"YOU'RE RIGHT, BUDDY! YOU'RE RIGHT!"
Kyle hands Rick a bottle of homemade maple syrup and Rick let's go of Quinn, not wasting any time chugging away at his bounty.
"I'm loving that rage, Rick, now bottle it up, so we can use it against Spartan and Wolf! Now I hear a lot of this hardcore versus technical wrestling, but what it truly comes down to…"
Kyle wipes a fake tear from his eye and Jobber Dave mimics him.
"You both need to go out there and show your gosh darn hearts! Show Alpha Pro Wrestling what everyone already knows… You two ARE the tag team division and you are a well oiled machine that works together like NO OTHER! GO OUT THERE AND GET IT DONE, BUDDIES! FOR YOUR QUEEN! FOR YOUR COUNTRY! AND FOR YOUR COACH!"
All members place a hand over heart.
"O CANADA!"
Jobber Dave free from his Red Surge confinements stands in a heroic pose, his black and red mask glistening in the hot sunlight, next to a beautiful lake with a mountain backdrop behind it. An audience made up of Mercer Quinn, Ravenous Rick Rage, and Kyle Ryder sit in black steel chairs in front of him dressed in matching blue, green, and white Canucks hockey jerseys. Dave adjusts his mask and continues to speak.
"Jobber Dave fight el good fight in Sin City, but it was Mr. Wolf, not our coach who walked out with spoils…"
Kyle speaks up.
"One of your opponents this week fellas… But do continue on, Dave."
"Gracias, this tag match though es one that'll test your pain… Threshold?"
Dave thinks for a second and then nods.
"Si, that es what I mean. Wolf and Spartan on battlefield tested in art of broken glass, broken jaws, and broken spirit. The showing that started in Sin City has continued on til this very moments… They will be standing across the best tag team in all of Alpha Pro Wrestling, proven by your tag titles you hold close to your waists."
Mercer raises one hand while texting with the other not breaking eye contact with his social life line.
"J.D. you speak of these hardcore fellas as if they're going to be our toughest fight yet…"
"Wolf and Spartan have the fighting spirit running wild within them, mi amigos… You es eh true tag teams, you fight as a unit, as uno conquistadors. Coach Wolf train you dos pups how to fight together and that has been your strengths all along. Those Candy Stripers showed their true natures when they failed to defeat you when it truly counted and the pressure of gettings es gold for their power suit wearing big headed gringa… But where they failed and you succeeded, it will be different with two blood thirsty guerreros like the team of Lobo espartano. I speak of hardcore as if it es some mystical secret… As if it es something especialoso that you tap into, but it ES VIDA… It es life, mi amigos."
Wolf scratches his stubble like a aged rustic hound dog for a second before standing up and walking over to Jobber Dave.
"I respect you a hell of a lot kid and you truly have proven yourself in the squared circle. The things I've seen you do with a light tube is other worldly, but I believe we all agree that hardcore isn't going to be the winning factor in this match. Do I want my boys to be steadfast and ready for the time when Spartan and Wolf choose to kick things up a notch, of course, but they will win soundly with fundamentals. Tag team wrestling will decide the winners this week and no one does it better than The Canadian Coalition, that's something you write your madre aboot."
Rick and Quinn whoop in unison.
"Sowry if you don't see it that way, JD, but this isn't New Blood Wrestling… This isn't Vincent Pryde's blood thirsty company. This is Alpha PRO Wrestling and as professionals we wrestle the top of our class and we put on matches that are considered instant classics, eh? There's no bums here except maybe Jaice Wildez, but that's a whole other unmasking story… The boys earned their tag titles because the moment they stepped foot in APW they promised one thing overall and that is they will be the ones to build the tag team division…"
Kyle pats David on the shoulder.
"Now, i have a simple question… Did they do back up their promise when they won the tag titles, JD?"
Jobber Dave nods slowly.
"Si, they did senor…"
Kyle nods along.
"And as the representation for the tag team division, shouldn't they go into this match with Spartan and Wolf with enough fortitude to know how to properly win, even if they choose to be a cohesive thrown together tag team?"
JD shrugs a bit.
"I understand, too many chair shots to that dome of yours, but I have been training these boys to tag team wrestle before you were even thinking of covering that handsome face of yours, donchaknow… Now don't let our demeanor and positive thinking fool ya. We're not going into this match thinking it's gonna be easier than eating a whole platter of Mrs. Dinah's O'Canada combination plate…"
Kyle winks at Rick.
"Right, big guy?"
Rick chuckles and pats his belly as Quinn finally puts his phone away, to speak up.
"It's all about being cohesively focused out there this week… Where Spartan and Wolf hate each other with a burning passion of a thousand buzzing chain saws, they hate losing more than that. They want to destroy the loveable Canucks from the north and they want to cut Rick off from the sweet American buffet line!"
Rick rubs the back of his head, confused.
"What?"
Quinn smirks a sheepishly evil smirk.
"Can't you see what Spartan and Wolf are trying to do, Rick? They want to steal ALL that American cuisine for themselves and leave not even a single scrap for you… How does that make you feel, Rick?"
Rick starts to hulk up and shaking his head no.
"Does it make you angry, Rick? Does it bring forth THE RAGE?!"
Jobber Dave starts clapping and chanting over and over again.
"RAGE! RAGE! RAGE!"
Quinn delivers a Ric Flair-esque knife edge chop across Rick's chest and Rick stands to his feet as quickly as he possibly can. He gets nose to nose with Quinn, not backing down an inch.
"Those boys want to take away the one thing I love more in this world and they expect me to just sit idly by and let IT HAPPEN?! EH?!"
Quinn starts to back down and Rick grabs him up by front of his collar.
"Quinn! Spartan and Wolf may be EXTREME, but they are going to be extremely disappointed when I'M THE ONE EATING WELL and they're left without a single SPECK to munch on! They believe they're hardcore and that we aren't anything more than the tag team title holders of Alpha Pro Wrestling? Well these boys!"
Rick lifts Quinn up a bit more from the collar.
"You and ME! ARE THE ENTIRE TAG DIVISION AND WE ARE HUNGRY, QUINN! RIGHT?!"
Quinn nods uncomfortably, while and Kyle and Jobber Dave stand with giant smiles on their faces.
"Ri-right, Rick. You're right…"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, QUINN!"
"YOU'RE RIGHT, BUDDY! YOU'RE RIGHT!"
Kyle hands Rick a bottle of homemade maple syrup and Rick let's go of Quinn, not wasting any time chugging away at his bounty.
"I'm loving that rage, Rick, now bottle it up, so we can use it against Spartan and Wolf! Now I hear a lot of this hardcore versus technical wrestling, but what it truly comes down to…"
Kyle wipes a fake tear from his eye and Jobber Dave mimics him.
"You both need to go out there and show your gosh darn hearts! Show Alpha Pro Wrestling what everyone already knows… You two ARE the tag team division and you are a well oiled machine that works together like NO OTHER! GO OUT THERE AND GET IT DONE, BUDDIES! FOR YOUR QUEEN! FOR YOUR COUNTRY! AND FOR YOUR COACH!"
All members place a hand over heart.
"O CANADA!"
