Post by Big Bad Bodacious on Jul 21, 2019 0:47:08 GMT -5
The local video podcast is winding down in sunny Las Vegas where something strange is going down, like some gnarly shit. “This is Chet Jackson, of the Las Vegas Liberty News Signing out, and remember to tell a foreigner to sta- what the hell? Who is that?” A whale of a man in a wife beater, bright red and green tracksuit, Gucci balaclava, and gold wristwatch walks up to the stage and sits next to Chet on his black leather couch. “Uhhh can someone please call security?” The man carefully places a VHS tape that reads play me. He then places his hand on the Chets shoulder, holding him while he pulls a handgun out of his jacket pocket. “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T KILL ME BRO-” The man pistol whips him and points the gun to the tape. “¡GIOCARE!” Paniced and bleeding, Chet tosses the tape to someone off screen, “GUYS PLEASE JUST PLAY THE FUCKING THING I DO’NT WANT TO DIE!” The feed cuts to a dark room, odd silhouettes are only faintly made out by small beams of light coming from holes in the ceiling and there is a thick haze of dust in the air.
A door near the back of the room rattles and shakes a few times before returning to its static state. Suddenly, the door cracked in half, falling off its hinges, revealing a shadowy figure looming in the doorway. The camera zooms to the figure who throws a switch to its side turning on the lights, the camera feed cuts abruptly back to its original position finally showing off the warehouse room. Everything has almost a bloom to it, like in a soap opera or porno in the 90’s, the walls are grey cement with plywood patching. There’s a stained forest green felt couch with matching pillow cut half way out of the shot to the right, to the left is an orange ladder decorated with christmas lights slowly fading on and off. In the center is a glass rectangular table from a discount patio furniture set, the chairs and umbrellas are neatly stacked in the back of the room, and on the table is the “Hot Merch!” Soon to be released action figures of all the wrestlers in Alpha Pro Wrestling and in front are, from left to right, Bryan Worthy, Smith Jones, Jaice Wilds, Michael J Brilliance, Sandy Coconutz, Tsukiko, Alex Scott, Liliana Rose, and Allen Anderson.
The camera cuts abruptly again, the figure is now standing, waxed and oiled chest puffed out, next to the table staring menacingly at the camera. His bearded face flush with blood, the light from the holes in the ceiling twinkling off of his reflective aviators that read MAD COW across the lenses like a star, causing a slight glare around his face. Stepping forward and pointing at the camera, Bodacious flex’s his muscles while he talks, in a strained sandpaper voice he yells.
Bodacious: ALPHA PRO WRESTLING! AH KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE AND I KNOW YOU ARE LISTING RIGHT NOW LHIVE ON THE FEED AND AH AM HERE TO SAY, THAT YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE! ONE THAT SHALL BE CORRECTED. THE MISTAKE WAS THINKING THAT YOU COULD TAME THE BODACIOUS WITH A BUNCH OF WORTHLESS, HELPLESS, MOLLY-CUT-MY-WRIST AGNSTY, SMOOTH BRAIN, CUNTING, MOON-SPEAK-WEEB-GARBAGE, GREENHORN, DUMB BITCH, TUFF HEDEMAN WANNABE, SCUM FUCKS IN THE SACRED RING HONOR, THE SQUARED CIRCLE, THA DREADED REALM OF THA 1V1, WHERE THIS WEEKEND IT BECOMES THE DAUNTLESS 10 V 1 WOOOO!
Listen here Bryan Aintevenworthacumrag, I got your number right here, uh huh, and I’m gonna call it in, uh huh, and WHEN AH DO! YOUR GONNA WISH YUAH NEVER PICKED UP THE PHONE WHEN APW HIRED YOU! I’LL MAKE YOU WISH THE DAY YOU SAID TO YOURSELF, “Oh BoY mAmA iMmA bE oM dAh mOvIe bOx” WAS THE DAY YAH STEPPED INTO TRAFFIC! YOU THINK YOU GONNA MAKE THAT WHISTLE?! THE 8 SECOND MARK?! THE FINISH LINE?! THE SWEET SOUND OF THE THREE COUNT SLAP? YOU AIN'T NO RIDER, YOU AIN'T NO BULL, FOR FUCK SAKES YOU AIN’T EVEN THE GOAT! YOU A CLOWN, YOU A TARGET, THE BEST YOU COULD HOPE FOR IS TO GET CARRIED AGAIN BY KING BETA MALE HIMSELF SMITH JONES HA, NEXT.
SMITH. What a fucking dime a dozen, a smith. Just another fail son trying to be somebody, I get it I really do homeboi. You hope that this IS the place, the place you finally are gonna be accepted, that you gonna be the GOAT, BUT THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE MORE WORTHLESS THAN YOUR PARTNER BRYAN AINTWORTHYOFAPWSTIME! AT LEAST HE HAS “WORTHY” IN THE NAME. YOU GOT NOTHING, YOU BEEN NOTHING, YOU GONNA STAY NOTHING BECAUSE NO ONE RISES ABOVE THE BULL ON HIGHEST! THE BULL THAT SHALL SMITE THEE DOWN FROM THESE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR ******* HA, NEXT
The film fades to black and fades back in. Bodacious sits shirtless on the ugly and uncomfortable green couch. He is holding a clothing iron by the handle and ponders to himself, hemming and hawing.
Bodacious: JAICE MILDS, HA, NEXT! But seriously folks, what do you want me to say? I mean look at him what am Bodacious gonna say about this rodeo clown? I’ll say this you’re old hat, you’re washed up.those moves you got, they only self destructive because your too old and too weak, uh huh, I carve destruction wherever I go, uh huh, I’m the fucking OKLAHOMA F5! YOU AIN’T WILD WILDS YOU’RE JUST MILD, A CALF TO BE CHASED AROUND AND TIED UP BY THE CHILDREN! WEAK SHIT! YOU WANT TO SEE WILD?! I'LL SHOW YOU WILD WOOOOOOOO!
Bodacious slams the hot iron onto his chest. The sizzle of his burning skin is just barely heard over his wooing until he throws the iron across the room and stomps across the floor hootin and hollering until the screen fades to black and then fades in again. This time Bodacious stands in front of the camera, the same clothes but he has a bandage where he burned his chest with the iron.
Bodacious: Johnny Blaze? More like Wet Blanket HA, NEXT. YOU say you are here to win some matches, but you don’t care about the crowd, don’t want to entertain the calves in the audience. Can you even call yourself a wrestler? No. You don't know what to call yourself. You think your some scary shit, think your the big tuff guy, that your Tuff Hedeman. You ain’t shit. Your worse than those other emo-play-my-wrist-like-a-fiddle like Smith and Worthyofgettingkickedinthedick but all I can see when I look at you is some angsty 0/2 incel loser who simple can’t fuck. Is that why your so angry all the time Wet Blanket? Can’t find a warm hole to stick it in? You don’t give a fuck about who likes you, like any woman would. So you go as rough and as hard as you like in that ring because Bodacious is tell you this here and now, IT WON’T MATTER HOW ROUGH YOU GO OR HOW HARD YOU FIGHT BECAUSE BODACIOUS IS TURNING THE TIDE IN HIS FAVOR, ROUGH WON'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE BOVINE BRUTALITY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FACE IN THAT ARENA. WET BLANKET YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY HOME BECAUSE BECAUSE BODACIOUS IS GONNA STOMP OUT THIS BLAZE HA, NEXT!
The camera fades to black then back again. Bodacious is standing slightly to the left of center screen in a superman pose. The rounded triangular burn on his chest now sporting a pair of horns tattooed on the left and right side.
Bodacious: Michael J Smoothbrain, Michael J lumpylikeatumoroustesticlesmoothbrain, Mic- you get it. Now I want to tell you something so I’m gonna be nice and put it in terms I think you can understand, if you missed something or I went to fast, call me at 1 800 BLOW MEE. Here it goes *ahem* bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitch BITCH! Bitch Bitch, bitching bitch bitch bitch bitchening bitch. Bitch bitches bitch bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitches bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch. Bitch, bitch bitch bitches bitch shut the fuck up! NEXT
The screen fades to black again and fades back into a left side profile of Bodacious’ head, he turns and scowls at the camera so hard his face turns red, his eyes still hidden behind his MAD COW aviators.
Bodacious: When they start letting ringside girls be wrestlers, HA NEXT!
The fox says: shut the fuck up HA, NEXT!
You could ride the bull for the full 8 seconds HA, NEXT!
Bodacious turns his head away from the camera, smirking. The film fades to black again, when it fades back, Bodacious is sitting with his phone out off the left of the screen on the ladder with christmas lights wrapped around it, there is a different glass table with nothing on it, the other table can clearly be seen leaning up against the back wall, The action figures are noticeably missing.
Bodacious: MR. Anderson, we meet again for the first time for the last time. You know you are the closest thing to a respectable person that's been presented to Bodacious. I mean you come from good stock, muscles are a little small but that's okay, you flap that pretty mouth real good.That linage you got goes back a long way they taught you was perfected over the years, the generations, that style of fighting you got you’ll hold on to the rest of your life. Maybe even the rest of your children's lives. Fuck you even come to home turf of Ohklahoma so you could strengthen that style so it would carry you to the top. Fun fact about Oklahoma: God hates Oklahoma. That style was sharpened in the fires of Gods most hated land and he does not forgive you this trespass. You see, Mr. Anderson, Bodacious am the One True God's, The Great Gold Bull’s, wrath and He has seen fit to place me in your path. Bodacious am more than just some handsome face and a style, more than just some lineage, more than just some poultry training. Bodacious am a force-a-nature, the Aplha Omega, both the immovable object and the unstoppable force placed both ahead of and behind you, and I’m closing in fast Mr. Anderson. You think your Alexander the Great, but I’m Alexander the Greatest, you think your Leonidas, but I'm God King Xerxes, you think you Tuff Hedeman, BUT I’M THE BIG THE BAD THE BODACIOUSAH! YOU STEP INTO THAT RING TONIGHT YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, YOUR CAREER FUCKING DEAD, AND YOUR ENTIRE WRESTILING LINEAGE FUCKING DEAD! THE GOLDEN GOD DAMN BULL IS COMING FOR YOU AND I’M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT ALL THAT TRAINING AS LEAD TO: YOU ON THE MAT, FACE DOWN, BLEEDING. YOUR WINDOW ISN’T CLOSED MR. ANDERSON, IT WAS NEVER OPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!
The camera fades to black. It fades back to show large pile of bodies in the center of the room, They are each wearing a similar looking ring stage attire of the wrestlers facing Bodacious at Showdown. Each one has a knife with a similar looking handle sticking out of them. Atop the pile is a lawn chair and sat in the lawn chair is Bodacious wearing matching shining metallic gold hat, jacket, pants, and shoes. His left hand rests on the handle of the chair and in his right hand, raised like the torch on the Statue of Liberty, is a knife with a similar looking handle to the ones in the corpses. On the flat of the blade it reads “VERBUM”.
Bodacious: Alpha Pro Wrestling is a place of champions. A place where men and women congregate to pay homage and worship to the Sacred Mighty that enter its stalwart halls. This is where history is made, where spines and dreams are broken equally, truly it is Valhalla. But there are some here who are undeserving of the worship, some don’t even want it or, worse still, shun it. These coyotes in cowhide shall be culled from the Herd this weekend in the Showdown match, Where BODACIOUS SHALL BEAT DOWN, WITH HIS MIGHTY SKULL, ALL OF THE WEAK AND UNWORTHY THAT PLACE THEMSELVES WITHIN MY VISION. BODACIOUS AM HERE FOR YOU ALPHA PRO WRESTLING, JUST AS BODACIOUS AM HERE FOR THE PEOPLE AND I MAKE THIS PROMISE TO YOU, UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE OF THE GOLDEN BULL THERE WILL ONLY BE EXCELLENCE. THESE BE THEY GODS O, APW THAT BROUGHT THEE OUT OF EGYPT.
The video feed from Las Vegas Liberty News podcast cuts abruptly. Chet and his crew have never been seen or heard from again.
A door near the back of the room rattles and shakes a few times before returning to its static state. Suddenly, the door cracked in half, falling off its hinges, revealing a shadowy figure looming in the doorway. The camera zooms to the figure who throws a switch to its side turning on the lights, the camera feed cuts abruptly back to its original position finally showing off the warehouse room. Everything has almost a bloom to it, like in a soap opera or porno in the 90’s, the walls are grey cement with plywood patching. There’s a stained forest green felt couch with matching pillow cut half way out of the shot to the right, to the left is an orange ladder decorated with christmas lights slowly fading on and off. In the center is a glass rectangular table from a discount patio furniture set, the chairs and umbrellas are neatly stacked in the back of the room, and on the table is the “Hot Merch!” Soon to be released action figures of all the wrestlers in Alpha Pro Wrestling and in front are, from left to right, Bryan Worthy, Smith Jones, Jaice Wilds, Michael J Brilliance, Sandy Coconutz, Tsukiko, Alex Scott, Liliana Rose, and Allen Anderson.
The camera cuts abruptly again, the figure is now standing, waxed and oiled chest puffed out, next to the table staring menacingly at the camera. His bearded face flush with blood, the light from the holes in the ceiling twinkling off of his reflective aviators that read MAD COW across the lenses like a star, causing a slight glare around his face. Stepping forward and pointing at the camera, Bodacious flex’s his muscles while he talks, in a strained sandpaper voice he yells.
Bodacious: ALPHA PRO WRESTLING! AH KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE AND I KNOW YOU ARE LISTING RIGHT NOW LHIVE ON THE FEED AND AH AM HERE TO SAY, THAT YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE! ONE THAT SHALL BE CORRECTED. THE MISTAKE WAS THINKING THAT YOU COULD TAME THE BODACIOUS WITH A BUNCH OF WORTHLESS, HELPLESS, MOLLY-CUT-MY-WRIST AGNSTY, SMOOTH BRAIN, CUNTING, MOON-SPEAK-WEEB-GARBAGE, GREENHORN, DUMB BITCH, TUFF HEDEMAN WANNABE, SCUM FUCKS IN THE SACRED RING HONOR, THE SQUARED CIRCLE, THA DREADED REALM OF THA 1V1, WHERE THIS WEEKEND IT BECOMES THE DAUNTLESS 10 V 1 WOOOO!
Listen here Bryan Aintevenworthacumrag, I got your number right here, uh huh, and I’m gonna call it in, uh huh, and WHEN AH DO! YOUR GONNA WISH YUAH NEVER PICKED UP THE PHONE WHEN APW HIRED YOU! I’LL MAKE YOU WISH THE DAY YOU SAID TO YOURSELF, “Oh BoY mAmA iMmA bE oM dAh mOvIe bOx” WAS THE DAY YAH STEPPED INTO TRAFFIC! YOU THINK YOU GONNA MAKE THAT WHISTLE?! THE 8 SECOND MARK?! THE FINISH LINE?! THE SWEET SOUND OF THE THREE COUNT SLAP? YOU AIN'T NO RIDER, YOU AIN'T NO BULL, FOR FUCK SAKES YOU AIN’T EVEN THE GOAT! YOU A CLOWN, YOU A TARGET, THE BEST YOU COULD HOPE FOR IS TO GET CARRIED AGAIN BY KING BETA MALE HIMSELF SMITH JONES HA, NEXT.
SMITH. What a fucking dime a dozen, a smith. Just another fail son trying to be somebody, I get it I really do homeboi. You hope that this IS the place, the place you finally are gonna be accepted, that you gonna be the GOAT, BUT THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE MORE WORTHLESS THAN YOUR PARTNER BRYAN AINTWORTHYOFAPWSTIME! AT LEAST HE HAS “WORTHY” IN THE NAME. YOU GOT NOTHING, YOU BEEN NOTHING, YOU GONNA STAY NOTHING BECAUSE NO ONE RISES ABOVE THE BULL ON HIGHEST! THE BULL THAT SHALL SMITE THEE DOWN FROM THESE DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR ******* HA, NEXT
The film fades to black and fades back in. Bodacious sits shirtless on the ugly and uncomfortable green couch. He is holding a clothing iron by the handle and ponders to himself, hemming and hawing.
Bodacious: JAICE MILDS, HA, NEXT! But seriously folks, what do you want me to say? I mean look at him what am Bodacious gonna say about this rodeo clown? I’ll say this you’re old hat, you’re washed up.those moves you got, they only self destructive because your too old and too weak, uh huh, I carve destruction wherever I go, uh huh, I’m the fucking OKLAHOMA F5! YOU AIN’T WILD WILDS YOU’RE JUST MILD, A CALF TO BE CHASED AROUND AND TIED UP BY THE CHILDREN! WEAK SHIT! YOU WANT TO SEE WILD?! I'LL SHOW YOU WILD WOOOOOOOO!
Bodacious slams the hot iron onto his chest. The sizzle of his burning skin is just barely heard over his wooing until he throws the iron across the room and stomps across the floor hootin and hollering until the screen fades to black and then fades in again. This time Bodacious stands in front of the camera, the same clothes but he has a bandage where he burned his chest with the iron.
Bodacious: Johnny Blaze? More like Wet Blanket HA, NEXT. YOU say you are here to win some matches, but you don’t care about the crowd, don’t want to entertain the calves in the audience. Can you even call yourself a wrestler? No. You don't know what to call yourself. You think your some scary shit, think your the big tuff guy, that your Tuff Hedeman. You ain’t shit. Your worse than those other emo-play-my-wrist-like-a-fiddle like Smith and Worthyofgettingkickedinthedick but all I can see when I look at you is some angsty 0/2 incel loser who simple can’t fuck. Is that why your so angry all the time Wet Blanket? Can’t find a warm hole to stick it in? You don’t give a fuck about who likes you, like any woman would. So you go as rough and as hard as you like in that ring because Bodacious is tell you this here and now, IT WON’T MATTER HOW ROUGH YOU GO OR HOW HARD YOU FIGHT BECAUSE BODACIOUS IS TURNING THE TIDE IN HIS FAVOR, ROUGH WON'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE BOVINE BRUTALITY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO FACE IN THAT ARENA. WET BLANKET YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY HOME BECAUSE BECAUSE BODACIOUS IS GONNA STOMP OUT THIS BLAZE HA, NEXT!
The camera fades to black then back again. Bodacious is standing slightly to the left of center screen in a superman pose. The rounded triangular burn on his chest now sporting a pair of horns tattooed on the left and right side.
Bodacious: Michael J Smoothbrain, Michael J lumpylikeatumoroustesticlesmoothbrain, Mic- you get it. Now I want to tell you something so I’m gonna be nice and put it in terms I think you can understand, if you missed something or I went to fast, call me at 1 800 BLOW MEE. Here it goes *ahem* bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitch BITCH! Bitch Bitch, bitching bitch bitch bitch bitchening bitch. Bitch bitches bitch bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitches bitch bitch Bitch bitch bitch. Bitch, bitch bitch bitches bitch shut the fuck up! NEXT
The screen fades to black again and fades back into a left side profile of Bodacious’ head, he turns and scowls at the camera so hard his face turns red, his eyes still hidden behind his MAD COW aviators.
Bodacious: When they start letting ringside girls be wrestlers, HA NEXT!
The fox says: shut the fuck up HA, NEXT!
You could ride the bull for the full 8 seconds HA, NEXT!
Bodacious turns his head away from the camera, smirking. The film fades to black again, when it fades back, Bodacious is sitting with his phone out off the left of the screen on the ladder with christmas lights wrapped around it, there is a different glass table with nothing on it, the other table can clearly be seen leaning up against the back wall, The action figures are noticeably missing.
Bodacious: MR. Anderson, we meet again for the first time for the last time. You know you are the closest thing to a respectable person that's been presented to Bodacious. I mean you come from good stock, muscles are a little small but that's okay, you flap that pretty mouth real good.That linage you got goes back a long way they taught you was perfected over the years, the generations, that style of fighting you got you’ll hold on to the rest of your life. Maybe even the rest of your children's lives. Fuck you even come to home turf of Ohklahoma so you could strengthen that style so it would carry you to the top. Fun fact about Oklahoma: God hates Oklahoma. That style was sharpened in the fires of Gods most hated land and he does not forgive you this trespass. You see, Mr. Anderson, Bodacious am the One True God's, The Great Gold Bull’s, wrath and He has seen fit to place me in your path. Bodacious am more than just some handsome face and a style, more than just some lineage, more than just some poultry training. Bodacious am a force-a-nature, the Aplha Omega, both the immovable object and the unstoppable force placed both ahead of and behind you, and I’m closing in fast Mr. Anderson. You think your Alexander the Great, but I’m Alexander the Greatest, you think your Leonidas, but I'm God King Xerxes, you think you Tuff Hedeman, BUT I’M THE BIG THE BAD THE BODACIOUSAH! YOU STEP INTO THAT RING TONIGHT YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, YOUR CAREER FUCKING DEAD, AND YOUR ENTIRE WRESTILING LINEAGE FUCKING DEAD! THE GOLDEN GOD DAMN BULL IS COMING FOR YOU AND I’M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT ALL THAT TRAINING AS LEAD TO: YOU ON THE MAT, FACE DOWN, BLEEDING. YOUR WINDOW ISN’T CLOSED MR. ANDERSON, IT WAS NEVER OPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!
The camera fades to black. It fades back to show large pile of bodies in the center of the room, They are each wearing a similar looking ring stage attire of the wrestlers facing Bodacious at Showdown. Each one has a knife with a similar looking handle sticking out of them. Atop the pile is a lawn chair and sat in the lawn chair is Bodacious wearing matching shining metallic gold hat, jacket, pants, and shoes. His left hand rests on the handle of the chair and in his right hand, raised like the torch on the Statue of Liberty, is a knife with a similar looking handle to the ones in the corpses. On the flat of the blade it reads “VERBUM”.
Bodacious: Alpha Pro Wrestling is a place of champions. A place where men and women congregate to pay homage and worship to the Sacred Mighty that enter its stalwart halls. This is where history is made, where spines and dreams are broken equally, truly it is Valhalla. But there are some here who are undeserving of the worship, some don’t even want it or, worse still, shun it. These coyotes in cowhide shall be culled from the Herd this weekend in the Showdown match, Where BODACIOUS SHALL BEAT DOWN, WITH HIS MIGHTY SKULL, ALL OF THE WEAK AND UNWORTHY THAT PLACE THEMSELVES WITHIN MY VISION. BODACIOUS AM HERE FOR YOU ALPHA PRO WRESTLING, JUST AS BODACIOUS AM HERE FOR THE PEOPLE AND I MAKE THIS PROMISE TO YOU, UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYE OF THE GOLDEN BULL THERE WILL ONLY BE EXCELLENCE. THESE BE THEY GODS O, APW THAT BROUGHT THEE OUT OF EGYPT.
The video feed from Las Vegas Liberty News podcast cuts abruptly. Chet and his crew have never been seen or heard from again.
