A Break From the Tour: Las Vegas
Jul 20, 2019 4:01:21 GMT -5
BonnieBlue, Bryan "Buzz" Worthy, and 1 more like this
Post by Dean Wolf on Jul 20, 2019 4:01:21 GMT -5
July 20, 2019
Guardian Angel Cathedral
Las Vegas, Nevada
The priest makes his way down the aisle between the pews, headed towards the confessionals at the back of the ornate church. He looks at the wayward souls sitting in the last few pews, their heads all down, looking preoccupied, all waiting for their time to tell this man of God their sins.
Here we go. Another round of idiots telling me what they did in Sin City.
The priest stops at looks around at the guilty parties. He tries to lighten the mood a little bit.
Bishop Thomas: Don’t worry. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Well, what’s said in confession stays in confession.
He smiles but no one finds the humor in his comment. He continues walking.
Bishop Thomas: Alright, let’s get this over with. Who’s first?
He enters the confessional, closes the door, has a seat, and slides open the little door that reveals the latticed opening for which the penitent can speak through.
Dean Wolf: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Bishop Thomas: How long…
The bishop stops mid-sentence.
I know that voice.
He jumps out of his seat a little bit before leaning away from the latticed opening.
Bishop Thomas: What the hell are you doing here?!
Dean Wolf: Is that any way to speak to someone giving their confession?
Bishop Thomas: Oh screw you!
Dean Wolf: Well, you have experience with that. I hope you paid that hooker extra for all the trauma she went through in Atlantic City.
The bishop whispers angrily.
Bishop Thomas: Would you shut the hell up about that?! I told you, I’m a higher-up in the Catholic Church. I could have you killed!
Dean Wolf: Alright, alright, calm down. I’m here to give my confession. What the hell do you think I’m doing here?
Bishop Thomas: Don’t you have a church near wherever you live where you can go to confession? Why do you have to come to Las Vegas to do it?
Dean Wolf: Well, I guess I’m just the most comfortable confessing my sins to you.
Bishop Thomas: I felt like I had to go to confession just for listening to yours! I thought Atlantic City was the last time I was going to have to see you! Jesus Christ, are you going to come out here every time you need to go to confession?!
Wolf gets a little annoyed with Bishop Thomas’ panic.
Dean Wolf: I’m in town for a wrestling show at the MGM Grand. Man, I thought priests were supposed to make people feel welcome.
Bishop Thomas: Well, let me tell you something: you are an exception to the rule.
Dean Wolf: Are you going to listen to my confession or not?
The bishop settles down.
Bishop Thomas: Alright. Go.
Dean Wolf: It’s been almost three weeks since my last…
Bishop Thomas: Forget that shit! Just tell me the crazy thing you’ve done this time.
Dean Wolf: It’s not what I’ve done. It’s what I’m going to do.
The bishop rolls his eyes.
Bishop Thomas: Are you serious? You want to be absolved from a sin you haven’t committed yet?
Dean Wolf: I’ve thought about it. Doesn’t that count?
The bishop sighs.
Bishop Thomas: I suppose. Continue.
Dean Wolf: I’m going to kill Zombie McMorris this Monday.
A few seconds of silence passes.
Bishop Thomas: The guy who beat me up in the hotel room? The guy you thought you killed in the nuclear blast?
Dean Wolf: Yeah.
A few more seconds of silence.
Bishop Thomas: Okay. Why do you want to kill him- again?
Dean Wolf: Well, for starters, he’s made disparaging comments about my dead mother.
Bishop Thomas: Well, I can understand your anger at that, but it’s not grounds for murder.
Dean Wolf: Well, in my eyes it is.
Bishop Thomas: Well, in the eyes of God, it’s not.
Dean Wolf: Well, maybe God’s wrong.
Bishop Thomas: You understand you’re in God’s house and you’re being a pretty rude guest right now, right?
Dean Wolf: I’m sorry. That was out of line. It’s not just what he’s said about my mother. This guy, he’s just...he’s just a cancer.
Bishop Thomas: Well, as someone who got dropped on his neck by the guy, I’d have to say he’s not my cup of tea either, but I have to ask you, what do you think you’ll get out of killing this man?
Dean Wolf contemplates the question for half a minute.
Dean Wolf: Peace of mind for one thing. I won’t have to stand by and listen to him degrade my mother anymore.
Bishop Thomas: And do you think she’d want you to kill this man in her name?
Dean Wolf: Probably not.
Bishop Thomas: Then why do it?
Dean Wolf: Because that’s what you do for family, whether they’re dead or alive. You defend them.
Bishop Thomas: Defend is one thing. Killing is another.
Dean Wolf: Look, I came here to confess, not to be lectured.
Bishop Thomas: You came here because you want me to tell you you’re forgiven for something you haven’t even done yet, that way when you do it, you won’t feel as bad! Well, that’s not how it works. You have to sin in order to confess a sin, and if you do sin, and you do confess, and you are remorseful, you’re supposed to leave and not try to sin again!
Dean Wolf: Fine, I’ll come back when I do the deed!
Bishop Thomas: Please, spare me the horror!
Dean Wolf shoots up and opens the door.
Dean Wolf: Dick!
Wolf leaves the church in a rage. Bishop Thomas exits the confessional and looks at the people waiting.
Bishop Thomas: Alright! Confession is cancelled for today!
One of the people waiting, a man, stands up.
Man: But what about our confessions?
The bishop makes a large sign of the cross gesture with his hand.
Bishop Thomas: You’re all absolved from your sins! Now get the hell out of my church!
He storms away, leaving the newly forgiven people confused.
Meanwhile, Wolf trudges down the Las Vegas strip, headed back towards the MGM Grand.
Dean Wolf: Fuck that guy. Why would I ask him for forgiveness anyway? He was getting his dick sucked by a prostitute last time I saw him. Fucking hypocrite.
My desire to kill ZMAC has got more to do than just my mother anyway. It’s about stopping him from infecting APW with his bullshit, too.
ZMAC was a big deal in WCF. ZMAC was a big deal in UCI. I’m sure that in Action Wrestling he’s a big deal over there, too.
But WCF is dead. UCI is dead. And if I thought Action Wrestling was worth a shit, I’d would have signed over there instead of APW.
This is APW. This is the new place. This is the superior place, and I won’t have Zombie McMorris leading it down the toilet.
He doesn’t think I’m worthy of being the Hardcore Champion? He thinks that he’s going to set things right by winning the title from me at Alpha Showdown? He thinks that my reign as champ is temporary and I’m just holding the belt for him until Monday?
Here’s the real fucking deal: Zombie McMorris will never find out what kind of Hardcore Champion I can be because he’ll be permanently dead. He won’t be able to set anything right, wrong, or indifferent because he’ll be permanently dead. He won’t see me handing the belt to him because he’ll be permanently dead.
He’ll be so dead that he won’t even think about coming back to life because he won’t want to go through the agony of me kicking the shit out of him again.
And with his permanent death in the MGM Grand comes the death of listening to him talk like a retard. With his eternal end means the end of listening to his incoherent philosophy on the sport of wrestling. With his perpetual demise means the end of Horror-kore.
That’s right. I want to end Horror-kore. The term “hardcore wrestling” still has the word “wrestling” in it, and there’s a way to compete in the hardcore division that doesn’t include the stupid niche, G.G. Allin-level shock value bullshit that ZMAC has contaminated wrestling with for years.
And it’s not about being soft or a pussy or scared or any other insult that I could anticipate coming from his corrosive lips. It’s about trying to make hardcore wrestling and the entire sport of wrestling in general not look like a joke and a fucking side show and something not meant to be taken seriously by the public at large.
I want APW to flourish. I want APW to be regarded as the best wrestling in the world, whether it’s technical wrestling, brawling, hardcore, women’s wrestling, tag team wrestling, lucha libre, whatever the style, I want people to look at APW and think “That’s the elite. That’s the cream of the crop right there.” I don’t want them to think “Oh, it’s just a bunch of retarded assholes poking themselves with sharp objects for fun.”
I’m the first champion in APW, and in that role I have to set the first precedents for this promotion. I want to be a champion who defends the Hardcore Championship with honor. I want to be a champion that respects his opponents. I want to be a champion that fights intelligently, no matter the style, and does this sport and all of its predecessors proud. I want the leaders of APW to think “We made the right choice signing Dean Wolf. He’s the leader of our roster. He’s the guy that can lead this company upwards.” Yeah, it’d even be nice if Irina came around to that way of thinking, but I doubt she will and I don’t give a shit about her opinion anyway.
If ZMAC wins the Hardcore Title on Monday, it would be the worst thing for this company. It would turn viewers looking for something new in wrestling away quicker than shit through geese. APW would be just like every other promotion. Fans of our sport would shrug their shoulders and say “Same old shit.”
If ZMAC became the hardcore champion, he would use Horror-kore to get his rocks off, not to make hardcore wrestling better.
ZMAC would be an embarrassment as a public face of APW. Seeing him on the posters with gold around his waist would automatically associate this vibrant, young promotion with drugs and hookers. APW would look like it was desperate for ratings by putting ZMAC on TV so he could, I don’t know, do some wacky shit like slice his stomach open so he could pull out his intestines and use them to choke someone. He’d be a negative influence on the young talent like Spartan and force them to compete his way.
He caught me in that trap for a while in Atlantic City and I’m going to have to do it his way right here in Las Vegas if I want to end it. I have to fight fire with fire. I have to play the game his way so that it can’t be played that way any longer.
But it will be the last time that it goes down ZMAC’s way. Whether I win the match or ZMAC dies or both of those things happen, APW will be saved from the reign of terror that ZMAC becoming Hardcore Champion surely would bring. APW will be saved from the retardness that would surely be amplified if he had a belt.
If I’m fortunate enough to walk away with my Hardcore Championship, my reign will be legitimized. I will have a mandate to lead APW through its beginning years, and I will do it proudly, like a true athlete.
It’s a new day for hardcore wrestling.
It’s a new day for the professional wrestling.
It’s a new day for Alpha Pro Wrestling.