Dean Wolf's Apology Tour, Part III-B
Jul 20, 2019 1:22:01 GMT -5
BonnieBlue, Spartan, and 1 more like this
Post by Dean Wolf on Jul 20, 2019 1:22:01 GMT -5
Wolf sees a car pull up in Joe Simpson’s driveway. An overweight man gets out.
That’s him. Shit, he got fat.
Wolf takes a closer look at the man and sees that his right eye is a little disfigured, the result of Wolf breaking a ceramic coffee cup over his orbit.
My bad.
He takes a deep breath.
You ready to do this? You can do it. Saying “I’m sorry” to Mom was as hard as it was going to get, so saying it to this fat loser should be a piece of cake.
Wolf steps out of the car and walks towards Joe’s driveway. He calls out his name as he walks forward.
Dean Wolf: Joe?
Joe looks over at the stranger coming at him. He doesn’t recognize him at first but soon realizes who it is.
Joe Simpson: Yeah? Who’s ask--- oh, shit!
Joe starts shuffling up his driveway, backing away frantically.
Joe Simpson: Y-you stay away from me! I don’t want no trouble!
Dean Wolf: No, Joe, I’m not here to…
Joe Simpson: Just stay away from me, please! I’m sorry about whatever I did to you in school! You've already done enough! Please! Just leave me alone!
Wolf stops just short of the driveway. Joe gets to his door and struggles to get his keys out of his pocket. When he does, his hand shakes so much that he drops them.
Joe Simpson: Shit, shit, shit!
Finally, he grabs a hold of them and unlocks the door, slamming it shut behind him and locking it.
Wolf stands in the street, calling for Joe.
Dean Wolf: Joe! I just wanted to say “I’m sorry!”
No response.
Dean Wolf: Joe?!
Still nothing.
Dean Wolf: Aw, shit. Well, that didn’t go well.
He goes back into his car and picks up the Apology List and deliberates whether to take Joe’s name off of the list.
Dean Wolf: I did say “I’m sorry.” That counts.
And with that, Joe’s name is crossed off the list.
Later that night, Dean Wolf is back in his apartment, glancing at the list while sitting at the desk in his bedroom.
Who should I apologize to next?
There are six people left.
I know where my Dad lives but fuck him for right now. Jason, Fager, Chris, Jake, I have to do some investigating to figure out where they are.
He eyes the sixth name on the list.
And then there’s the one that got away. I wonder if she’s still living with her parents. No, she can’t be, but I guess that’d be the best place to start. I mean, her parents liked me. I don’t know if they know what happened, but supposing they don’t, they might help me out and tell me how I can find her.
Wolf sits back in his desk chair and closes his eyes. He pictures Katie’s face. He remembers how beautiful she was. Blonde hair. Big green eyes. Soft pink lips. A wide smile. A few cute freckles on her cheeks. No need for make-up. He remembers how he felt around her, how being with her was like being with his best friend. No, it wasn’t like being with his best friend. She was his best friend. They could do anything together and he felt perfectly comfortable.
He remembers one of the first times they hung out, before they started even dating. He had to go to Wal-Mart to buy a snow shovel. Winters in upstate New York were a lot more brutal than on Long Island. No one told him at his college orientation that he should have a shovel in his trunk for the millions of times he was going to have to dig himself out of the student parking lot.
He asked her to go with him. He didn’t need to. He just wanted the company and she was good company. When she found out why he needed to go to Wal-Mart, she was perplexed.
Katie: You need a snow shovel?
Dean Wolf: Yeah.
Katie: Why?
Dean Wolf: To dig myself out of my parking space.
Katie: You don’t need a snow shovel.
Dean Wolf: Yeah, I do.
Katie: I’ve lived upstate in the whole time I’ve had a driver’s license and not one time have I needed a snow shovel to dig my car out.
Dean Wolf: I bet I will.
Katie: I bet you won’t.
Dean Wolf: Well, I bet I will.
Katie: Well, I bet you won’t.
Dean Wolf: So let’s put some money on it then.
Katie: Okay. How much?
Dean Wolf: $5.
Katie: Pussy. $20.
He had never heard a woman call him a “pussy” before. He loved it, someone with a foul mouth like him. Still, he remembers thinking that he liked this girl, and he didn’t want to use that kind of language himself around her. He wanted to be a gentleman. That was the effect she was having on him. She made him want to be a better man. For a little while.
Dean Wolf: Wow. Pussy? Really? Okay, $20. Deal?
Katie: Deal.
They shook hands. Time stopped when he held hers. It was so soft. A warm feeling passed over him as he gripped her hand. Before Katie, holding a girl’s hand seemed kind of dumb. He hated seeing guys holding hands with their girls in the hallways. They were only going to class. What was the point?
Now, holding Katie’s hand, he understood. He could hold her hand. He could hold her hand for a real long time.
He snapped out of his daze and didn’t want to seem like he was in love (which he was) so he turned the handshake into some weird improvised secret bro handshake. She laughed a tiny bit at his odd clumsiness. He felt slightly stupid at being so awkward, but the feeling passed quickly. He knew that she knew he liked her and he knew she liked him. Being weird was part of the whole pre-dating process.
He did end up using the snow shovel. She gave him the $20, which he used to take her to dinner- at Bob Evans, which was kind of like Cracker Barrel without the store in the front. Hey, he was a novice. He’d learn. He’d get better.
Yeah, I’d get better. Then I’d fuck it up and get worse when...
The sound of his cell phone vibrating on his desk causes him to come back to the present and open his eyes. He sits up and reads the screen on the phone. It’s a notification from APW’s streaming app.
“‘Spartan Doesn’t Want Just Want to Be a Third Wheel’ is available” the notification reads.
Wolf clicks on the notification. A Spartan promo pops up. Wolf listens to the whole thing and then sets it down. He breathes heavily through his nose, regretting Spartan’s strong desire to compete.
Fuck. This kid just won’t quit.
That’s him. Shit, he got fat.
Wolf takes a closer look at the man and sees that his right eye is a little disfigured, the result of Wolf breaking a ceramic coffee cup over his orbit.
My bad.
He takes a deep breath.
You ready to do this? You can do it. Saying “I’m sorry” to Mom was as hard as it was going to get, so saying it to this fat loser should be a piece of cake.
Wolf steps out of the car and walks towards Joe’s driveway. He calls out his name as he walks forward.
Dean Wolf: Joe?
Joe looks over at the stranger coming at him. He doesn’t recognize him at first but soon realizes who it is.
Joe Simpson: Yeah? Who’s ask--- oh, shit!
Joe starts shuffling up his driveway, backing away frantically.
Joe Simpson: Y-you stay away from me! I don’t want no trouble!
Dean Wolf: No, Joe, I’m not here to…
Joe Simpson: Just stay away from me, please! I’m sorry about whatever I did to you in school! You've already done enough! Please! Just leave me alone!
Wolf stops just short of the driveway. Joe gets to his door and struggles to get his keys out of his pocket. When he does, his hand shakes so much that he drops them.
Joe Simpson: Shit, shit, shit!
Finally, he grabs a hold of them and unlocks the door, slamming it shut behind him and locking it.
Wolf stands in the street, calling for Joe.
Dean Wolf: Joe! I just wanted to say “I’m sorry!”
No response.
Dean Wolf: Joe?!
Still nothing.
Dean Wolf: Aw, shit. Well, that didn’t go well.
He goes back into his car and picks up the Apology List and deliberates whether to take Joe’s name off of the list.
Dean Wolf: I did say “I’m sorry.” That counts.
And with that, Joe’s name is crossed off the list.
Later that night, Dean Wolf is back in his apartment, glancing at the list while sitting at the desk in his bedroom.
Who should I apologize to next?
There are six people left.
I know where my Dad lives but fuck him for right now. Jason, Fager, Chris, Jake, I have to do some investigating to figure out where they are.
He eyes the sixth name on the list.
And then there’s the one that got away. I wonder if she’s still living with her parents. No, she can’t be, but I guess that’d be the best place to start. I mean, her parents liked me. I don’t know if they know what happened, but supposing they don’t, they might help me out and tell me how I can find her.
Wolf sits back in his desk chair and closes his eyes. He pictures Katie’s face. He remembers how beautiful she was. Blonde hair. Big green eyes. Soft pink lips. A wide smile. A few cute freckles on her cheeks. No need for make-up. He remembers how he felt around her, how being with her was like being with his best friend. No, it wasn’t like being with his best friend. She was his best friend. They could do anything together and he felt perfectly comfortable.
He remembers one of the first times they hung out, before they started even dating. He had to go to Wal-Mart to buy a snow shovel. Winters in upstate New York were a lot more brutal than on Long Island. No one told him at his college orientation that he should have a shovel in his trunk for the millions of times he was going to have to dig himself out of the student parking lot.
He asked her to go with him. He didn’t need to. He just wanted the company and she was good company. When she found out why he needed to go to Wal-Mart, she was perplexed.
Katie: You need a snow shovel?
Dean Wolf: Yeah.
Katie: Why?
Dean Wolf: To dig myself out of my parking space.
Katie: You don’t need a snow shovel.
Dean Wolf: Yeah, I do.
Katie: I’ve lived upstate in the whole time I’ve had a driver’s license and not one time have I needed a snow shovel to dig my car out.
Dean Wolf: I bet I will.
Katie: I bet you won’t.
Dean Wolf: Well, I bet I will.
Katie: Well, I bet you won’t.
Dean Wolf: So let’s put some money on it then.
Katie: Okay. How much?
Dean Wolf: $5.
Katie: Pussy. $20.
He had never heard a woman call him a “pussy” before. He loved it, someone with a foul mouth like him. Still, he remembers thinking that he liked this girl, and he didn’t want to use that kind of language himself around her. He wanted to be a gentleman. That was the effect she was having on him. She made him want to be a better man. For a little while.
Dean Wolf: Wow. Pussy? Really? Okay, $20. Deal?
Katie: Deal.
They shook hands. Time stopped when he held hers. It was so soft. A warm feeling passed over him as he gripped her hand. Before Katie, holding a girl’s hand seemed kind of dumb. He hated seeing guys holding hands with their girls in the hallways. They were only going to class. What was the point?
Now, holding Katie’s hand, he understood. He could hold her hand. He could hold her hand for a real long time.
He snapped out of his daze and didn’t want to seem like he was in love (which he was) so he turned the handshake into some weird improvised secret bro handshake. She laughed a tiny bit at his odd clumsiness. He felt slightly stupid at being so awkward, but the feeling passed quickly. He knew that she knew he liked her and he knew she liked him. Being weird was part of the whole pre-dating process.
He did end up using the snow shovel. She gave him the $20, which he used to take her to dinner- at Bob Evans, which was kind of like Cracker Barrel without the store in the front. Hey, he was a novice. He’d learn. He’d get better.
Yeah, I’d get better. Then I’d fuck it up and get worse when...
The sound of his cell phone vibrating on his desk causes him to come back to the present and open his eyes. He sits up and reads the screen on the phone. It’s a notification from APW’s streaming app.
“‘Spartan Doesn’t Want Just Want to Be a Third Wheel’ is available” the notification reads.
Wolf clicks on the notification. A Spartan promo pops up. Wolf listens to the whole thing and then sets it down. He breathes heavily through his nose, regretting Spartan’s strong desire to compete.
Fuck. This kid just won’t quit.
