Vape'em if you got'em [v. Derek Wellings, MNM]
Dec 21, 2020 21:09:12 GMT -5
cyborg878 and Jubei like this
Post by The Kayby on Dec 21, 2020 21:09:12 GMT -5
"Oh shit, Netflix wanted us to stop promoting tobacco products on our wholesome children's wrestling show." The hushed, hurried tone of Kayby Hale Cassidy penetrated through the black screen. The sound of rustling furniture is accompanied by murmuring. "okay, okay. shhhhh, sh-sh, okay. ahem." The camera fades in to four-foot long neon sign straight out of the early 90s. It reads:
JUUL
Vape'em if you got'em
Dead set in the middle of the shot are two leather chairs. On the left, Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor is draped across her chair horizontally. On the right, Kayby Hale Cassidy lays upside down on the chair; his calves hooked across the back of the chair so he won't slide to the floor. Both of them have a Juul in their mouths, and in perfect unison they exhale fat clouds. "I won't lie to you, Darren-"
"Derek"
"Darien?"
"Derek; with a 'kuh' at the end."
"I won't lie to you, Derek with a 'kuh' at the end," Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor rolls her eyes. "This is about as much effort as you deserve from me. I've heard you were once a great champion and a great wrestler. I though, maybe, this could be my moment to prove to everyone that I am simply better than the rest. I was ready to launch myself to the pedestal I belong on," he trails off. "And then I saw the effort you gave each week in the ring. I saw the man that was once heralded by so many in our small company, and I saw... well, quite frankly, an embarrassment. It's time to hang up the boots, mate. It's okay though, because I'm going to take the NBW World Championship from you, regardless of if Alpha Pro will recognize it. I will let you close the final chapter on your wrestling career. You only have one thing left to do, and that is say goodbye to your last wrestling championship. If I'm feeling nice, I'll end your career with a mercy killing. If I'm not feeling nice, well... people will still call it a justifiable homicide." He takes another pull from his Juul; never breaking eye contact with the camera, as if wordlessly speaking to someone on the other side. "I was ready to have some fun this week to hype up our match. I bought Bambi and I matching flight suits and aviators. We were going to make fun of your dumb nickname with a Top Gun reference. I was going to blast Danger Zone so I had entrance music at the cottage. It would have been incredible... but you kind of suck. You're really not worth my creativity."
"Bye, Felicia." Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says with a dismissive hand wave. The camera fades to black.
