The Letter : Chap 1 {2000 words)

I. A Blast from the Past





Sorry to address you so informally but, quite frankly, I have no clue who you are anymore. There was a point in our relationship where I was ready to commit totally to you. You, however, wanted Pandora more. You kept pushing me aside knowing all the amazing things I could make your body feel. Knowing the passion I was capable of. You threw me away like garbage. You wound up throwing us all away didn’t you? You had to have things be all about you, ya whore. Now you are left by yourself with that pathetic therapist Gwendolyn. You made your bed, now lie in it like the dog you are. You are nothing to me anymore. I am so much better without you darling.




The words of the letter within my clutches rang through my brain like a song that just won’t go away. I sat on the couch of Dr. Gwen’s office crying as I clutched the letter for dear life. Dr. Gwen placed her hand out in a forceful manner.

”Come on with it, Felicity. You called me to go over this letter. Let me see it.”

I, reluctantly, handed the letter to Dr. Gwen as I looked down. I knew she wasn’t going to like the contents. I had done so well but this was a relapse of sorts. I turned a brilliant shade of red, a mixture of embarrassment and nervousness came over my body. Dr. Gwen sighed after reading the letter. I could hear the shame in her sigh. She took her glasses off as she placed her thumb and forefinger between her eyes, clutching the bridge of her nose as if I were giving her a headache.

”Why did you write this, Felicity?”

I looked up in shock.

”Dr. Gwen, I didn’t. I woke up and it had been slid under the threshold of my door. Why in the literal fuck would I do this?!”

For the first time in months, I felt anger. I felt like the world was out to get me. I felt like, no matter what I did, Dr. Gwen was not going to believe me. I felt as if she didn’t want to believe me.

”First things first. Don’t raise your voice at me, Felicity. You need me way more than I need you, understood?”

Who was I to argue? I was simply a psychotic individual who needed these sessions to find who I truly am again. I nodded and sighed.

”I am sorry Dr. Gwen. I didn’t mean to. I just, I don’t understand why you think I would do this. I want to forget that part of me. I want to forget her. Like I have tried to tell Sierra Silver. I am simply not her anymore.. At least I don’t think I am.”

I looked down as Dr. Gwen wrote some stuff down in her notebook. She sounded angry with how she was writing.

”Felicity, you are trying but you are also not quite there. You are still a work in progress. You are not perfect, none of us are. There is a chance you blacked out and wrote this letter.”

I wasn’t blacking out anymore… was I? I didn’t think I was. I remembered what I had for each meal of the day yesterday. I remember training. I remember being attentive throughout the entire show I was on. I remember beating Jamo. I needed to think through this. I looked at Dr. Gwen.

”How can blackouts be possible when I remember my whole day, every day? Something fishy is up and I intend to figure it out. I need to go. I have training to do.”

I snatched the letter from Dr. Gwen as I walked out she muttered under her breath.

”You won’t figure out shit unless I allow you to.”

Dr. Gwen smirked as the scene faded to black.



II. The First Cut is the Deepest



The scene opened to me sitting in front of the camera. I had it in focus as I straddled a chair, the back of the chair resting softly against my chest. I leaned in as I spoke.

”John Blade. Are you scared yet? Are you shaking in your little boots? I hope you are not too scared because I am no longer Phoenix. I won’t bite you. I won’t bring Justus to you. I am rehabbed but do not mistake that for weakness. Did you see what I did to Jamo at Vendetta? While you were choking and losing yet another “big match” I was defeating a man three times my size.”

I stood up and paced back and forth as I clutched the letter in the palm of my hand. I held it toward the screen.

”John, I am a nice person but this kind of crap is my motivation.This is what makes crazy people snap. Lucky for you I am not crazy anymore. I am, however, a wrestler who cares about her craft. I am a monster within the ropes. Once the bell rings, you are in for a world of hurt, John. I am not Leah Lincoln. I am someone who can hurt you and hurt you I shall.”

I took a sip of my water as I spoke again.

”The past is the past. This much is true. I have been a burden. I have been a liar and a cheater. People can change. They can be rehabbed. John, what demons are you hiding behind your squeaky clean image? We are all a little mad. Dr. Gwen says it is how we channel that craziness. Do you we go insane or do we keep our wits about us? I used to give into my demons. I used to let them out to play. You better hope this isn’t the week I let them out to play with you, John. No one wants that. I don’t want that. I want to win but I want you to be unscathed.”

I straddled the chair once more as I pulled the legs of my shorts down to keep them from riding up my leg. I giggled as I continued.

”I know you didn’t write this letter to me, John, but come Monday, I am going to pretend you did. Until I find out who wrote this, I am going to take it out on anyone and everyone. People will say it is Dr. Gwen but she has no motivation to do that. John, you are going to be punished for the transgressions of another much like I am punished for the transgressions of Phoenix. I am not her. She and I just dwell within the same body, the same frame. We may look the same but she and I are not one.

John, let’s get back to you. Let’s focus on why you are bad for this company, and bad for this business as a whole. You are someone who, with your years and years of experience, should be higher up on the all time lists. You should be mentioned in the same breath as Bonnie Blue and Odin Balfore but instead you are mentioned in the same breath as Richard Dweck and James Ceno.

You have talent but talent only gets you so far in this business when you have the charisma of a dying cockroach. John, I should be honored to step into the ring with you. Instead, I feel bad for you. I pity you. I worry about your safety but once the bell rings all bets are off.

John, I will see you on Monday.”

With that the scene faded out as I walked off.


III. Silver and Gold


I decided that it was time for me to write a letter to Sierra Silver and show the true me to her. Hopefully, in due time, she would believe me.



I hope this letter reaches you in good spirits. I know you are going through some things. I know you have a lot of bookings what being in the Fed Podcast top 100 wrestlers in the world. I envy you. I want to be like you. I look up to you. I always have. I am jealous of you.

Don’t you see, Sierra, you are a great athlete, a champion, a proud and honored fighter. I am just simply a girl who has lost her way.

But I am slowly finding my way. I am slowly on my way to being a champion and that path continues this week when I face John Blade. I hope you are paying attention as I try to make you a proud friend.

Yes, you and I have had problems in the past but that was the old me. I am rehabbed and I see you as a friend, a colleague, and an inspiration. Dr. Gwen says we all need to strive to be something. I strive to be like you. I want people to look at me and say “Felicity is the champion I want to be like.” I find myself saying that about you on an almost daily basis.

Sierra, you are someone who is going to go down in history as one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. You have not had the appreciation you deserve and I intend to show you that. Before you ask no I am not “seducing” you. I am simply commending you on your skills. I am simply stating facts that everyone needs to realize.

As I sit here writing this I pray that you find the peace within you. I hope you see that I am for real and I am legitimately sorry for ever hurting you or your friends. I hope one day you, Thomas, and especially Cooper, can one day forgive me. I hope you all see that it was not me. She is not me and I am not her. One day, I pray the whole world realizes, I am sick but I am trying to get healthy again. I was weak but am getting stronger every day and you are a major reason why.

Dr. Gwen says that my infatuation with your talents could hinder my healing process but I don’t care. I am in love with how you maneuver in the ring. I want to wrestle as good as you do. I want to be revered for my accomplishments in the ring.

You are such a fun and bubbly person. I wish I could be like that. Given how I acted out in the past, I doubt I will be able to fully rebound in the eyes of some people. Do I have your attention? Do I have your eyes and ears for these words? Do you see me now, Sierra?

For so long you, and others, have cast me aside. I will admit. I deserved it. Don’t we all deserve forgiveness as well. I am not asking you to forget my actions but rather forgive and let us move on past it. I, for lack of better words, stan you. I simp for you. Anytime I see you on television I literally mark the fuck out.

I hope this letter reaches you Sierra. I hope you finally see that I have changed. Don’t worry. This is not my final attempt. I hope you have a great week and I hope the enclosed ticket gets used for you to come see me in the ring, like I have come to see you many times before.



With that I ended my letter. I had to show Sierra and the world that I was obsessed with talent and it wasn’t some sort of crazy obsession. I had to show the world exactly who I was and that I was fully rehabbed. The World would one day belong to me and Dr. Gwen. Of that I was certain.

Fin