Post by BonnieBlue on Nov 25, 2020 10:06:05 GMT -5
In the center of a twenty foot by twenty foot square, bordered by crimson ropes, is a raised dais; and on that dais, a Throne of Steel -- forged in fire and quenched in blood, etched around with the names of a score of fallen foes. Perched regally on the Throne is the Hardcore Queen herself: Bonnie Blue.
“Been a long time since I found myself gracin’ the ring here in Ay-Pea-Dub, an’ i just wanna say how great it feels to be back…
“Want to -- but I can’t quite bring myself to lie like that. Not because I’m above such things. I’ve perpetrated my share of half-truths an’ misdirection. Likely, I’ll do so again, when it serves my purposes. But today… today’s a day for honesty.
“An’ honestly, I just ain’t feelin’ the love. I come back here, as a favor to my good friends, Messieurs Dante an’ Jubei; as a gift to all the Alpha Pro Wrestlin’ fans. I come here, an’ together with my business associate, lay waste to the singular most pathetic excuse for a tag team to ever sign a wrestlin’ contract -- an’ where’s my thanks? Where’s my accolades for sparin’ all y’all the soporific effects of sufferin’ through another tedious, uneventful Indie Rebellion match?”
The Serpentine shakes her head in mock-disappointment.
“Instead, I get a strongly-worded email from Mr. Jackson’s representative, expressing his client’s displeasure as regards my timely intervention. So, in essence, a man named for this country -- America Jackson -- doin’ precisely what this country does best: Whinin’ about not getting his way.
“Like the end of the match wasn’t a foregone conclusion to begin with. Y’all were gonna win, one way or the other. Look at it like this: my associate an’ I spared you the indignity of havin’ to actually pretend either member of Indie Rebellion had even a modicum of talent. I saved you the trouble of havin’ to carry that match, while tryin’ to make a couple of incompetent stoners look reasonably accomplished. I may, even, have safeguarded you from potentially bein’ injured by one of these talentless hacks goin’ for a big move -- an’ botching it completely.
“You’re welcome, by the way, America.
“Oh, but you fail to see it like that. All you see is Bonnie Blue, stealin’ your spotlight.
“Well, sugar, I just can’t help it. I walk in anywhere, it’s all eyes on me. At the same time, if you think some midcard snorefest qualifies as a ‘spotlight’, you might wanna take a step back an’ get yourself some perspective. Fact is, you an’ Damon Warrens -- who, by the way, ain’t complainin’ -- are the APW Tag Team Champions. Until recently, that’s a pretty damn big accomplishment.
“Just not when you beat Indie Rebellion for them titles. That’s more of a drudgery, really. A necessary task, but not a pleasant one. Now, instead of people not talkin’ about your thoroughly unremarkable victory over a pair of pot-addled garbage wrestlers, you got folks mentioning America Jackson an’ Bonnie Blue in the same sentence.
“Good for you. Shut the fuck up, an’ enjoy your little tag titles while ya can. ‘Cause sooner or later, somebody better’n you is gonna show up an’ claim ‘em. An’ that somebody -- well, I’m sure you can guess who that is. Because it damn sure won’t be Mason Martinez or Christian Laurens.”
Her lips twitch into a wry smile.
“Speakin’ of whom… it ain’t personal, y’all. It can’t be. I never heard of either of you boys until ya popped up in that other place -- an’ promptly got your asses handed to y’all by a steampunk cosplayer and an anime reject. If hubris were my character flaw, you’d both be beneath my notice; but unfortunately for you two, it ain’t. I studied every member of this roster before I made my choice. There were a number of candidates Jubei himself suggested; but you were the ones I selected to serve as an example.
“Not because of any glimmer of aptitude. Not because I reckoned on awakening some hidden potential, nor ‘cause I perceived y’all as any kind of threat. Nah, it’s much simpler than all of that.
“Indie Rebellion is the detritus of a bygone age. You claim to be up-an’-comin’ superstars, but you’re nothing more than a watered down copy of everything that’s been done before. You’re the jokes Cheech an’ Chong cast aside for being too lame. You’re brick weed tryin’ to pass yourself off as OG Kush -- barely worth the time to roll ya up. But rest assured that come Vendetta, your dreams of gold are goin’ up in smoke.”
“Been a long time since I found myself gracin’ the ring here in Ay-Pea-Dub, an’ i just wanna say how great it feels to be back…
“Want to -- but I can’t quite bring myself to lie like that. Not because I’m above such things. I’ve perpetrated my share of half-truths an’ misdirection. Likely, I’ll do so again, when it serves my purposes. But today… today’s a day for honesty.
“An’ honestly, I just ain’t feelin’ the love. I come back here, as a favor to my good friends, Messieurs Dante an’ Jubei; as a gift to all the Alpha Pro Wrestlin’ fans. I come here, an’ together with my business associate, lay waste to the singular most pathetic excuse for a tag team to ever sign a wrestlin’ contract -- an’ where’s my thanks? Where’s my accolades for sparin’ all y’all the soporific effects of sufferin’ through another tedious, uneventful Indie Rebellion match?”
The Serpentine shakes her head in mock-disappointment.
“Instead, I get a strongly-worded email from Mr. Jackson’s representative, expressing his client’s displeasure as regards my timely intervention. So, in essence, a man named for this country -- America Jackson -- doin’ precisely what this country does best: Whinin’ about not getting his way.
“Like the end of the match wasn’t a foregone conclusion to begin with. Y’all were gonna win, one way or the other. Look at it like this: my associate an’ I spared you the indignity of havin’ to actually pretend either member of Indie Rebellion had even a modicum of talent. I saved you the trouble of havin’ to carry that match, while tryin’ to make a couple of incompetent stoners look reasonably accomplished. I may, even, have safeguarded you from potentially bein’ injured by one of these talentless hacks goin’ for a big move -- an’ botching it completely.
“You’re welcome, by the way, America.
“Oh, but you fail to see it like that. All you see is Bonnie Blue, stealin’ your spotlight.
“Well, sugar, I just can’t help it. I walk in anywhere, it’s all eyes on me. At the same time, if you think some midcard snorefest qualifies as a ‘spotlight’, you might wanna take a step back an’ get yourself some perspective. Fact is, you an’ Damon Warrens -- who, by the way, ain’t complainin’ -- are the APW Tag Team Champions. Until recently, that’s a pretty damn big accomplishment.
“Just not when you beat Indie Rebellion for them titles. That’s more of a drudgery, really. A necessary task, but not a pleasant one. Now, instead of people not talkin’ about your thoroughly unremarkable victory over a pair of pot-addled garbage wrestlers, you got folks mentioning America Jackson an’ Bonnie Blue in the same sentence.
“Good for you. Shut the fuck up, an’ enjoy your little tag titles while ya can. ‘Cause sooner or later, somebody better’n you is gonna show up an’ claim ‘em. An’ that somebody -- well, I’m sure you can guess who that is. Because it damn sure won’t be Mason Martinez or Christian Laurens.”
Her lips twitch into a wry smile.
“Speakin’ of whom… it ain’t personal, y’all. It can’t be. I never heard of either of you boys until ya popped up in that other place -- an’ promptly got your asses handed to y’all by a steampunk cosplayer and an anime reject. If hubris were my character flaw, you’d both be beneath my notice; but unfortunately for you two, it ain’t. I studied every member of this roster before I made my choice. There were a number of candidates Jubei himself suggested; but you were the ones I selected to serve as an example.
“Not because of any glimmer of aptitude. Not because I reckoned on awakening some hidden potential, nor ‘cause I perceived y’all as any kind of threat. Nah, it’s much simpler than all of that.
“Indie Rebellion is the detritus of a bygone age. You claim to be up-an’-comin’ superstars, but you’re nothing more than a watered down copy of everything that’s been done before. You’re the jokes Cheech an’ Chong cast aside for being too lame. You’re brick weed tryin’ to pass yourself off as OG Kush -- barely worth the time to roll ya up. But rest assured that come Vendetta, your dreams of gold are goin’ up in smoke.”
