Post by oni on Nov 9, 2020 21:53:16 GMT -5
You’re not gonna like this week, Adelaide. It’s gonna feel really weird waking up on that Tuesday morning, sunlight blasting across your bruised and battered face, with nothing to contemplate but doomer vibes and aching bones. That tiny Aussie frame of yours, stretched beyond repair as you hobble from your hotel bed like a broken boomer needing their regular midnight piss break. Each step, punctuated by a sharp stabbing sensation that’s creeping mercilessly down your spine. An aching reminder that last night, you stepped through the ropes with a cringe cosplaying breadtuber, and lost.
What you’ll need in a time like this is an emergency prescription of “copium” to get you through the day. One tablespoon an’ hour though isn’t gonna be enough, you’re gonna have to guzzle that sweet, sweet nectar down. Nothing new for a gal like you, but this time it’s with the added incentive of embarrassment. And you should be embarrassed because you’re the APW hardcore champion, you’re a cross-company main eventer that’s fought the very best this business has produced. Your star shines so bright Addy, even a former world champion like Lissie Hope feels inadequate living in your gutter-mouthed shadow, at least that’s the narrative as I read it. Why else attack you, right?
And yet, with all that history attached, none of it could isolate you from my reach. All those victories in the record books couldn’t shield you from my assault. And none of your talents could prevent your hand from tapping out Monday night on that blue and white canvass. Imagine that, all that dedication to an art form that saps so much from you, and yet here you are, on a Tuesday morning with a loss to a larper.
Cringe. So much cringe.
More copium required. Where to start? How about the fact that you were caught out by a young talent you’ve never heard of. Yeah, that’s it - chalk it up to a fluke victory. It’d never happen again in a million years. After all, you can’t scout someone who operates out of a low rent dojo on the far side of the world. You can’t study for an opponent whose matches barely register on the youtube algorithm. In the end, you were blindsided by a fast, efficient operator who uses a submission finisher to administer a coup de gras on a beaten-down opponent. Lightning in a bottle I guess. It happens.
Opps, now my M.O. is out of the bag! Silly me, I’ve shown you my hand. Maybe Tuesday morning when you’re curled up in a ball with an ice pack on your neck, you’re watching this footage realizing that I’ve just slipped up a day earlier on purpose, just to take all that luscious copium away from you! Wow, what a bitch I am when I have a fifteen-hour flight ahead of me in standard class! My apologies, I’m usually far more respectful than this, especially with a woman who I admire.
But then again, you never got to where you are today by being respectful, did you? You’re a woman who cuts through the bullshit with each title defense. With each landmark win you redefine what it means to be a woman in this business. It’s just a shame though that when you do redefine what it means, it’s not always for our benefit.
In Japan, it can be difficult living day to day as a Gaikoku hito, as someone foreign to the shores. I may be this happy go lucky weeb living out her dream, it’s not always an easy life to navigate. It could be a lot easier though if it wasn’t for this skank narrative that hangs over female western wrestlers now. I can go out there and be the best, but when there’s a famous talent slutting it up every week then the stereotype the east has about western talent comes back to haunt me. I can be Oni all day long, but in the end, it’s the preconceptions that come with having you as a champ that defines how the world sees me.
That’s why this week? I have to kill that.
What you’ll need in a time like this is an emergency prescription of “copium” to get you through the day. One tablespoon an’ hour though isn’t gonna be enough, you’re gonna have to guzzle that sweet, sweet nectar down. Nothing new for a gal like you, but this time it’s with the added incentive of embarrassment. And you should be embarrassed because you’re the APW hardcore champion, you’re a cross-company main eventer that’s fought the very best this business has produced. Your star shines so bright Addy, even a former world champion like Lissie Hope feels inadequate living in your gutter-mouthed shadow, at least that’s the narrative as I read it. Why else attack you, right?
And yet, with all that history attached, none of it could isolate you from my reach. All those victories in the record books couldn’t shield you from my assault. And none of your talents could prevent your hand from tapping out Monday night on that blue and white canvass. Imagine that, all that dedication to an art form that saps so much from you, and yet here you are, on a Tuesday morning with a loss to a larper.
Cringe. So much cringe.
More copium required. Where to start? How about the fact that you were caught out by a young talent you’ve never heard of. Yeah, that’s it - chalk it up to a fluke victory. It’d never happen again in a million years. After all, you can’t scout someone who operates out of a low rent dojo on the far side of the world. You can’t study for an opponent whose matches barely register on the youtube algorithm. In the end, you were blindsided by a fast, efficient operator who uses a submission finisher to administer a coup de gras on a beaten-down opponent. Lightning in a bottle I guess. It happens.
Opps, now my M.O. is out of the bag! Silly me, I’ve shown you my hand. Maybe Tuesday morning when you’re curled up in a ball with an ice pack on your neck, you’re watching this footage realizing that I’ve just slipped up a day earlier on purpose, just to take all that luscious copium away from you! Wow, what a bitch I am when I have a fifteen-hour flight ahead of me in standard class! My apologies, I’m usually far more respectful than this, especially with a woman who I admire.
But then again, you never got to where you are today by being respectful, did you? You’re a woman who cuts through the bullshit with each title defense. With each landmark win you redefine what it means to be a woman in this business. It’s just a shame though that when you do redefine what it means, it’s not always for our benefit.
In Japan, it can be difficult living day to day as a Gaikoku hito, as someone foreign to the shores. I may be this happy go lucky weeb living out her dream, it’s not always an easy life to navigate. It could be a lot easier though if it wasn’t for this skank narrative that hangs over female western wrestlers now. I can go out there and be the best, but when there’s a famous talent slutting it up every week then the stereotype the east has about western talent comes back to haunt me. I can be Oni all day long, but in the end, it’s the preconceptions that come with having you as a champ that defines how the world sees me.
That’s why this week? I have to kill that.
