DEAR GOD NOT THE HOMEMADE MAPLE SYRUP!!!
Jun 30, 2019 22:50:10 GMT -5
Adam Dante, BonnieBlue, and 3 more like this
Post by The Revenant on Jun 30, 2019 22:50:10 GMT -5
Haruna Sakazaki/Tsukiko vs Canadian Coalition
Staring up from the street in front of the Space Needle, those loveable Canucks are done licking their wounds and they're ready continue their adventure into the States. Rick points to the Space Needle.
"Hey guys look it's the famous Seattle Space Needle, I heard there's a restaurant up there…"
Quinn nods as he looks to his phone and Kyle has a worried look on his face as he notices he has one missed call from Rip Jones.
"Cool story, Rick…"
Before anyone can say anything the feed cuts out to white static.
We are brought back to a fake smiling face of the silverback gorilla known as Rip Jones dressed in a Canadian tuxedo, denim everything to the T.
"Sowry but that train wreck of a promo that my loveable Canadian brothers sent in wasn't, up to snuff. It didn't pass my proper standards, so it has been returned to sender and yours truly will lay it all out for all parties involved for this week."
Rip's fake smile fades to a more sour distasteful look.
"The Canadian Coalition is full of so much promise and it is a crying shame that from studying the numbers, the proof isn't there. Kyle Ryder is the best coach I've ever seen, a true disciple to the craft and his boys are naturals… Maybe a bit oddly shaped but still a force nonetheless… But where I could praise them for days, I still see these losses. I see their trashy representation of the team I sawr up here who screamed of promise… Now they're the butt end of the joke for some asians and some washed up never was to over run. So how am I and The Red Serge suppose to sit idly by? Watching the mission go up in smoke?"
Rip shakes his head.
"What is their kryptonite? Is it sprinkle in some form of Asian and they collapse under the pressure to upstage them? Look at the losses on their team's record and there's always an Asian equation that equals to their loss… Coincidence? I think not. But no worries because I am setting things straight from here on out, every loss will lead to ONE broken case of Homemade Maple Syrup!"
Rip starts to cackle as he pulls out a sledge hammer.
"Rick is so proud of this wonderful bounty that if I threaten it, HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE CAN TO WIN! AM I RIGHT?!"
Rip goes to slam the hammer down and he stops just before he connects with the wood crate containing the beautiful glass bottle with the one of a kind design from the retired wrestling bear, Terrible Ted.
"That is what I'd like to call a warning shot… eh? But make no mistakes, Kyle's boys WILL win this week, so this here is a freebie. Don't mess it up!"
Rip smiles wide.
"The asians are strong and disciplined, but make don't think for one second Quinn and Rick are gonna give in to MY DEMANDS! We need these victories and Kyle Ryder needs them even more! Bring your foxy clever ways, but the power of food waste is going to be the key to victory this week… I guarantee donchaknow. For thy country demands it!"
Rip salutes with sledgehammer held to his shoulder like a rifle, the feed cuts out abruptly as if it was recorded over the original promo. We are returned to Kyle standing in front of Quinn and Rick at the top of the Seattle Needle with the city backdrop behind him.
"You see, you two are going to win because you're going to SHOW UP, unified. It's as simple as that. You SHOW UP and you put on a match that is obviously respectable to your peers, your Queen, and your country… And your coach of course."
Kyle smiles reluctantly.
"Right?"
Rick and Quinn both nod.
"Good now let's go see what this Seattle night life is like with these hipster hosers!"
All 3 Canadians venture off leaving the scene to fade to black.
Staring up from the street in front of the Space Needle, those loveable Canucks are done licking their wounds and they're ready continue their adventure into the States. Rick points to the Space Needle.
"Hey guys look it's the famous Seattle Space Needle, I heard there's a restaurant up there…"
Quinn nods as he looks to his phone and Kyle has a worried look on his face as he notices he has one missed call from Rip Jones.
"Cool story, Rick…"
Before anyone can say anything the feed cuts out to white static.
We are brought back to a fake smiling face of the silverback gorilla known as Rip Jones dressed in a Canadian tuxedo, denim everything to the T.
"Sowry but that train wreck of a promo that my loveable Canadian brothers sent in wasn't, up to snuff. It didn't pass my proper standards, so it has been returned to sender and yours truly will lay it all out for all parties involved for this week."
Rip's fake smile fades to a more sour distasteful look.
"The Canadian Coalition is full of so much promise and it is a crying shame that from studying the numbers, the proof isn't there. Kyle Ryder is the best coach I've ever seen, a true disciple to the craft and his boys are naturals… Maybe a bit oddly shaped but still a force nonetheless… But where I could praise them for days, I still see these losses. I see their trashy representation of the team I sawr up here who screamed of promise… Now they're the butt end of the joke for some asians and some washed up never was to over run. So how am I and The Red Serge suppose to sit idly by? Watching the mission go up in smoke?"
Rip shakes his head.
"What is their kryptonite? Is it sprinkle in some form of Asian and they collapse under the pressure to upstage them? Look at the losses on their team's record and there's always an Asian equation that equals to their loss… Coincidence? I think not. But no worries because I am setting things straight from here on out, every loss will lead to ONE broken case of Homemade Maple Syrup!"
Rip starts to cackle as he pulls out a sledge hammer.
"Rick is so proud of this wonderful bounty that if I threaten it, HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE CAN TO WIN! AM I RIGHT?!"
Rip goes to slam the hammer down and he stops just before he connects with the wood crate containing the beautiful glass bottle with the one of a kind design from the retired wrestling bear, Terrible Ted.
"That is what I'd like to call a warning shot… eh? But make no mistakes, Kyle's boys WILL win this week, so this here is a freebie. Don't mess it up!"
Rip smiles wide.
"The asians are strong and disciplined, but make don't think for one second Quinn and Rick are gonna give in to MY DEMANDS! We need these victories and Kyle Ryder needs them even more! Bring your foxy clever ways, but the power of food waste is going to be the key to victory this week… I guarantee donchaknow. For thy country demands it!"
Rip salutes with sledgehammer held to his shoulder like a rifle, the feed cuts out abruptly as if it was recorded over the original promo. We are returned to Kyle standing in front of Quinn and Rick at the top of the Seattle Needle with the city backdrop behind him.
"You see, you two are going to win because you're going to SHOW UP, unified. It's as simple as that. You SHOW UP and you put on a match that is obviously respectable to your peers, your Queen, and your country… And your coach of course."
Kyle smiles reluctantly.
"Right?"
Rick and Quinn both nod.
"Good now let's go see what this Seattle night life is like with these hipster hosers!"
All 3 Canadians venture off leaving the scene to fade to black.
