APW Presents: KILLING FLOOR! [10.26.20]
Oct 26, 2020 14:13:19 GMT -5
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Post by ned on Oct 26, 2020 14:13:19 GMT -5
 October 26, 2020 Live From: Arthur Ashe Stadium / Flushing, NY Seating capacity: 23,500 Exclusive to NETFLIX [IT'S SHOWTIME] Clearwater: ARE YOU READY FOR KILLING FLOOR? Remi: THIS AIN'T YOUR GRANDDAD'S KILLING FLOOR! Clearwater: LET THE BODIES HIT THE KILLING FLOOR! Remi: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?! Clearwater: I DON'T KNOW! Remi: Oh... Clearwater: Tonight's event has been riddled with challenges. From people ghosting APW to technical difficulties. Remi: Look at the stage! The Killing Floor logo fell down hours ago and nobody put it back up! Clearwater: At least they got the screen working. Remi: Oh. Yeah. Now we can watch the Hardcore Championship Match between Adelaide Ainsworth and DEATHMATCH… from Chicago. Clearwater: That sounds… wait… WHAT?! Remi: Addy is a free spirit. Clearwater: Okay... [HARDCORE SHIT] Barack Obama: Damnit, Clyde. Not another one. Clyde: Should I call 9-1-1? Barack Obama: Of course not. Call my guy at one of the secretive Chicago Mafia families. This guy knows what's up. Obama and the ref nod at each other. Obama then bends down to talk to Addy. Barack Obama: Young lady… can I count on your support of my best friend… Joseph R. Biden… on November 3rd? Addy reaches up and grabs him by the tie, then pulls him in for a big sloppy kiss. He tries to resist but inevitably succumbs to her ravenous animal magnetism. Addy: Yer out ya fuckin' mind. I'm an illegal alien, Barry. Then she passes the fuck out. When she awakes, she's lying on a bed in an all white room and DEATHMACHINE is holding onto her hand. Addy: THA FUCK IS THIS ABOUT?! She pulls her hand away. DEATHMACHINE: My deepest apologies. I am delighted that you're awake. Addy: Why ya sound like such a puss?! DEATHMACHINE: After you kicked me in the balls eighty consecutive times, I was in such total and absolute fucking agony that I died. Well, it felt like I died. I went into a coma and… woke up here. Addy: Okay but ya voice is so girly now. DEATHMACHINE: Oh, that. They couldn't save my balls. Or my dick. Addy: Yer as anatomical as a Ken doll?! DEATHMACHINE: You could say that. Addy: I'm… I'm… so… sorry… She grabs his hand and a tear drips down her cheek. DEATHMACHINE: Oh, Addy. It's okay. I'm not--- Addy: … so sorry that I wasn't able to rip yer dick and balls off with my bare fuckin' teeth! She yanks on his arm and pulls him right into a shoot headbutt. The battle continues and she throws back the sheet, then wraps her unclothed legs around his head in a triangle choke. Addy: CHOKE ON THAT WAP! CHOKE ON IIIIIIIT!!!! DEATHMACHINE cannot handle the effectiveness of her devastating submission maneuver and he taps the fuck out. The referee - who was just hanging out in the room waiting for something to happen - makes a ding ding ding sound and hands Addy the title as we return to the ringside area… back in New York. [RINGSIDE AREA] Clearwater: For once, I agree with you. Addy has a notoriously loose proclivity with her nether-region. Remi: No. I mean sick as in cool, bro. Get your shit together. Clearwater: I misunderstood your hip lingo. Again. Remi: You're such a square, bro. Clearwater: Regardless of my shape… Hale Cassidy is about to make his in-ring debut! Remi: That's Kayby Hale Cassidy, bro! Clearwater: I don't understand. Remi: Nobody does. Clearwater: Well… his opponent was supposed to be Phoenix LeStrange… but she is being hunted by a distant descendant of Abraham Van Helsing… and could not make it to the show tonight. Remi: REALLY?! Clearwater: Sure… Remi: Who is Kayby Hale Cassidy facing instead? Clearwater: Someone named Power Perez... [HALE CASSIDY VS POWER PEREZ] Remi: Oh. Him. The distorted riffs of Weak Spots ring through the arena as the lights begin to darken and fog fills the entrance tunnel. As the vocals drop the stage lights up white and purple. Penetrating through the fog, Hale Cassidy walks backward onto the stage being led by his manager. Jessica Kaine: Introducing, from the Centre of the Damn Universe in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Being led to the ring by 'Taylor Made' Ms. Arden Taylor. Standing at 6 foot and weighing 90 kilograms, he is the Better Than You-ligan... 'Kayby' Hale Cassidy! As Ms. Kaine announces them, Taylor leans in toward Cassidy's face and kisses him on the cheek. Immediately, he whips around, seemingly energized by the young lady's kiss. Cheating to the camera, Cassidy brushes off his abs and fixes his hair as he walks down the ramp. Cassidy slides under the bottom rope while Arden uses the steps to enter the ring. Once more, cheating to the camera they mimic the pose from the stage. Clearwater: What an entrance! Remi: Too bad it's wasted on a jobber like Power Perez! Clearwater: It's eerie how much he looks like Lucha Bowl Champion Ultimo Extremo though. Remi: Shut up, bro. Kayby Hale Cassidy stands in the middle of the ring, not impressed in the slightest at Power Perez. Power Perez does a little shimmy or whatever, then charges at Kayby Hale Cassidy, who sidesteps. Power Perez hits the ropes and rebounds right into a powerfully destructive roaring elbow that shatters Power Perez' jaw. He drops to the mat and Kayby Hale Cassidy covers him. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds and Kayby Hale Cassidy is declared victorious in his debut match with Alpha Pro Wrestling. [RINGSIDE AREA] Remi: You would, bro. Clearwater: What's that supposed to mean? Remi: You like dumb shit, bro. Clearwater: I don't--- He is interrupted by the playing of Wild Ones by Florida. A tall, jacked dude comes out and walks down the ramp. He gets in the ring and climbs the ropes in the corner, posing with his left arm in the air. He then does the same in the other three corners. Clearwater: Who is this jabroni supposed to be? Remi: THE RAZOR IS HERE! This guy… The Razor… is handed a microphone. The Razor: FINALLY... The Razor has COME BACK… to Flushing, New York! Cheap pop. The Razor: APW needs The Great One. APW needs The Brahma Bull. APW needs… The Razor! Eeehhhhh. The Razor: Something something pie eating lalalalalala candy ass--- His mic gets cut because he sucks. Clearwater: Good. O Fortuna plays over the PA system and the arena goes dark. Once the arena goes dark, a single spotlight appears on the entrance ramp and out walks Zeke. The tron shows the words, He is risen with a cross behind them, then transitioning to Brother Zeke. Zeke slowly makes his way down the ring as the spotlight follows him. Halfway down the ramp, the lights suddenly flash on and the arena is light again showing Zeke's face as he smiles wickedly at the crowd. After he makes it to the end of the ramp, he walks over to the steel steps and then makes his way through the ropes and sits down in the corner as his music slowly fades. Clearwater: Brother Zeke is here for his match… but… where's Lilianna Rose? Remi: She's got some important stuff on OnlyFans to do. Clearwater: Oh... [BROTHER ZEKE VS. THE RAZOR] Remi: BROTHER ABIGAIL! Clearwater: Huh? Brother Zeke covers The Razor. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds and Brother Zeke is declared the winner. [TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP] Voiceover: THREE TEAMS WHO AREN’T REALLY TEAMS! WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL TAG TEAMS GONE?! More clips, but of Man Made Gods and others who aren’t here anymore. Voiceover: TONIGHT, ONE RANDOM TEAM LEAVES WITH THE GOLD! We see mashup pictures of the teams, since two of them have never worked together before. Then we go right to Remi and Clearwater. Remi: Let’s see if all three teams made it for the match. lights in the arena goes out then the titantron played a video being scared of someone is about break in her house and started panicking to find a place to hide. The criminal man begins to break in the women’s house then Jamo is standing behind the criminal man while Jamo hiding in the shadows carrying a sawed off shotgun and Jamo follows him. The police phone operator will say “911 what’s your emergency?” Then the women who replied back will say “someone is breaking in my house to kill me.... please help” and the police phone operator will reply back saying “where abouts inside the house are you, help will be on the way.” Women say “Please hurry I’m in my bedroom closet, hurry please I’m going to be dead soon.” Criminal man opens the bedroom closet with a evil smirk then the women screams and I appeared beside the criminal man loaded up the gun beside his head and say “Get f@&ked mate” then the shots echos the arena, Chin Check by N.W.A music hits the arena and the lights synced with the music. Walking down the ramp slowly, high five few fans and kids, slides in to get on the ring climbs up the turnbuckle and taunt bullet club. Remi: That was insane. Clearwater: Almost as insane as missing deadline by two hours. Remi: Huh? Clearwater: Nothing. The lights go down as Trans Magic v2 starts ringing through the arena. The sound of crashing glass hits, signalling the arrival of the legendary Octopus. He scowls, raising his hands to a huge pop as he walks slowly toward the ring. Clearwater: They have a combined weight of six hundred and fifty-two pounds. Remi: FFAAAAAAATTASSSESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Sky's the limit hit's when Latoya comes out behind the curtains and dip down on her heel toe and raise up her Sunglasses and walks down towards the ring and gets on the side of the apron and shows them her Legit Brass Knuckles in gets inside of the ring and gets ready for her Opponent arrives Remi: THE BOSS IS HERE! Clearwater: Ugh. Remi: Hey! That's my line! "Fight Like the Devil" begins, and there is a brief murmuring of fans. As the song picks up, Alex Scott parts the curtain, a look of focus and minor indifference on his face. He shows very little emotion, walking to the ring in his hooded sweatshirt, tights and boots. He hits the ring, uses the ropes the stretch, and then sits on the top turnbuckle, mentally preparing himself to wrestle. Remi: Former Junir Heavyweight Champion... and he should be again right now forever! Clearwater: You, too, huh? Remi: What? Clearwater: Nothing. A badass version of "Zombie" by The Cranberries starts up and the fans go bonkers. Another head hangs lowly Child is slowly taken And the violence caused such silence Who are we mistaken? Sara Pettis runs out onto the stage and the fans' fucking heads explode. Sara heads down the ramp. She slaps as many hands as possible. She wastes no time and slides into the ring. The music dies down and Sara takes a moment to bask in the affection from the fans. Remi: Five out of six are here. Where is Derrick Vayden? Clearwater: Derrick Vayden has left the conversation. Remi: Huh? Clearwater: Nothing. Sara tells the referee that she will work the match by herself since Derrick is not available for whatever reason. The opening bell sounds and then--- … … … … … … … … … …  … … … … … … … … … … Sara Pettis covers Jamo. ONE! TWO! THREE! The final bell sounds. FTH has retained or whatever. Remi: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! Clearwater: WHAT! A! MATCH! Sara is handed the belts and she holds them close. Then two unknown men come outta nowhere and they attack her while a woman shouts on from outside of the ring. The one guy picks Sara up for a flapjack and the other finishes off with a springboard x-factor on the way down. The unknown woman gets in the ring and has a microphone. Unknown Woman: Ladies and gentlemen… my name is Abigail Rain. These men are Mason Martinez and Christian Laurens. They are Indie Rebellion. And these APW Tag Team Titles now belong to them. She drops the mic as Mason and Christian hold up the titles. [RINGSIDE AREA] Clearwater: OHMYGOD! Remi: WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?! Action Wrestling CruiserClash General Manager Donald Deruty is standing on the stage with a microphone in hand. Donald Deruty: Hello, people of Fleshling, New York. They boo this man. Clearwater: It's actually Flushing. Remi: Shut up! Donald Deruty: When I somehow… uhh.. had a sixth sense about APW needing someone to challenge for the Junior Heavyweight Championship, I knew that would be the perfect opportunity for J.C. Keeton, former Cruiserweight Champion from a much more prestigious organizion called Action Wrestling. They boo this man. Donald Deruty: When he found out he would be performing in front of the people here in Flosstring, New York… They boo this man. Hard. Donald Deruty: He opted out of the match. The replacement for the replacement to challenge Rendition Taylor tonight is The Knockout Bandit… CLAAAAAYYYYYY PAAAAAARRRKERRRR! No music plays because he's still trying tol choose his entrance. Clay Parker walks out on the stage and turns his back to the crowd for a moment before turning back towards the camera and smashing his elbow against the palm of his hand. Remi: Would ya take a look at this tough guy? Next Junior Heavyweight [JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP] Clearwater: Well… I guess Mr. Deruty is going to stay at ringside for the match... Remi: He's obviously scouting for Action Wrestling. Like always. The throaty moan of an overly distorted guitar roars as ‘Royal Jelly’ by Deap Vally hits the speakers. The arena is dark as the music continues to play - ones the guitar and drums reach the height of their crescendo, spotlights hit the entrance as Renaissance Taylor steps out. She stands, momentarily, as the lead singer belts out the chorus: If you wanna be Queen Bee Then you better make honey If you wanna be Miss Thing Then you better start hustling The spotlight follows Renaissance as she makes her way down the ring ramp, ignoring the fans except for a few here and there, which she only affords a disdainful glance. As she makes it to the bottom of the ring ramp, she once again pauses. Honey, so sweet, so sweet Honey, so sweet, so sweet Now the lights come up to find her making her way up the steps to the ring. She walks the ring apron towards the middle before gracefully entering the ring. She goes to the middle of the ring, still ignoring the fans and tilts her head back, absorbing the lights above her, before lowering a cold glare to no one in particular. As the music dies, she stands in the middle of the ring. Clearwater: What an entrance! Remi: Too elaborate for what's about to happen. Still with the Junior Heavyweight Championship around her waist, she tells Clay Parker to just bring it, whatever it is. Donald Deruty wishes him luck and he exits the ring to watch the story unfold. The opening bell sounds and Parker charges at Taylor, immediately eating a jumping knee strike. Clearwater: ZERO IN! Parker collapses on the mat and Taylor covers him. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds and she is declared victorious. Donald Deruty enters the ring and the two have words. He points at the title around her waist. There's more inaudible chatter before they shake hands. [ Clearwater: Semi-main actually. Remi: But America Jackson is in it… so… Clearwater: Still not main event. Remi: Ugh. Daniel "The Mindless" Christopher comes out to a mix reaction as "Protect Ya Neck by Wu-Tang" starts playing through the arena with Jessica Lee by his side, and looks to the crowd, while dressed in a jacket with a hood. He then gets into the ring with Jessica Lee and walks to one of the turnbuckles. Daniel "The Mindless" Christopher then climbs it and kisses his Buddhist necklace , before jumping off it. He then takes his jacket off and hangs it to the side of the turnbuckles. Daniel "The Mindless" Christopher then turns around as Jessica Lee stands by his side and puts her hand across his chest. He then kiss Jessica on the lips and waits for his opponent. Clearwater: He is the challenger. "American Trash" by InnerPartySystem plays as America Jackson makes his way out, accompanied by the Troops, who are dressed to the nines in militant fashion. The Troops surround the ring in an amateur paramilitary fashion. America hops into the ring and poses with the North American Championship proudly around his waist. Clearwater: He is the challenger. Remi: Riveting commentary. The unnamed referee calls for the opening bell. DC charges at America like a madman. America backs up to the ropes and steps onto the apron. The referee holds DC back. Clearwater: What is he doing? Remi: America wasn't ready. He hasn't even removed the title from around his waist. Clearwater: That didn't stop Renaissance Taylor. America removes the belt and steps back into the ring. DC shoves the ref to the side and he surprises America with a forearm to the jaw. He sends America to the ropes with a few punches, then Northern Irish Whips him… but America reverses it… and pulls DC into a beautiful spinebuster. He covers DC but doesn't even get a one count. America pulls DC up and whips him toward the corner but DC counters. America hits the corner hard. DC runs in and eats a boot from America. DC staggers back and America promptly follows up with a yuge lariat. He covers DC. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! America transitions to a mounted position as he lays in forearms to DC. Realizing that this is not the best path to victory, America lets up his attack and he allows DC to get to his feet. Clearwater: Is America showing… mercy? Remi: STRIKE FIRST! STRIKE HARD! NO MERCY! America lets his eye off the prize for just a moment, looking out to The Troops for encouragement. As he does so, DC hooks America and falls back with a Prussian Legsweep. DC covers him and hooks his leg. ONE! KICKOUT! DC slaps the mat and gets to his feet. He grabs America by the wrist and whips America to the ropes. On the way back, America nails him with a pump kick to the chest. With DC down, the champion drops a majestic knee drop on the challenger. America gets up and poses, then pulls DC up and reminds him just who the face of this company truly is. He scoops DC up and slams him with a powerful slam. America covers DC. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! America briefly debates with the referee that it was certainly a three count. While this occurs, DC uses the ropes to pull himself up. America approaches DC and grabs him by the shoulders. DC drops down with a jawbreaker. America staggers back and DC knees him in the gut, then delivers a pumphandleslam. Clearwater: CAMBODIAN’S GENISYS! Remi: THERE’S THE COVER! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! DC transitions to a submission hold but America quickly rolls out of it. He shoots back in with a mighty forearm. The two get to their knees and trade forearms, slowly pushing up to their feet. The fans are excited beyond belief as champion and challenger wreck each other. DC rocks America with a few in a row, then shoots in for a double leg takedown. America knees him in the jaw, then pulls him in and delivers a stump piledriver. America covers DC. ONE! TWO! THR-KICKOUT! Clearwater: I can’t believe he kicked out! Remi: Neither can America! America grabs DC by the shoulders and pulls him up. DC breaks free and connects with a superkick. Clearwater: DEVIL’S KARMA! America stumbles back to the ropes and holds onto the top rope, clearly dazed. Breathing heavily, DC approaches America and pulls him away from the ropes, but America scoops him up and nails him with an Angle Slam. Clearwater: AMERICA FIRST! America covers DC and hooks both legs. ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell sounds. Remi: UNDISPUTED BEST AMERICAN CHAMP EVER! [KILLING FLOOR MAIN EVENT] Anyway, the participants in this match for Andrew Barnes’ APW World Heavyweight Championship have changed. Max Ironside got abducted by aliens from the planet Ziplthronidap8. Elliott Siscoe’s body was taken over by the spirit of Elvis Presley and he is currently trying to finish his massive dump from 1977. I guess we’ll have to wait to see who is replacing them because mysteries are fun. John Blade’s music begins to play as he walks out on stage. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and tosses it to the fans. He salutes and runs straight down towards the ring. He bounces off the ropes side to side and he holds up his “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect” shirt. He takes off his hat and tosses his shirt to the fans and hands his Chain to the ref to begin to fight. Remi: Ugh. Clearwater: What’s the matter? Remi: I have a bad feeling APW is going to Make-a-Wish the belt onto this guy. Clearwater: Naaahhh. That wouldn’t happen. Remi: Really? Awkward pause. Clearwater: Would it? The lights go out as the opening notes of "Judas" by Fozzy plays. Very dim lighting hits the entrance revealing Damon Warrens sitting on his throne of thorns on stage. Beside the throne crouches Jaime Cortez with Damon's signature barbed wire baseball bat in hand. Atop his head sits a matching thorny black crown; his mouth covered by his signature frowning half mask. Red face paint streaks leave his pure white eyes like tears of blood. The Nitemare stands up and opens up his merlot red trench coat. The Devil Himself walks stoically to the ring with Jaime walking in front of him loudly singing the praises of the Nitemare to the crowd. Remi: Former World Champ. Let’s see if lightening can strike twice. Clearwater: Lightning. Remi: That’s what I said. Lightening. Clearwater: You’re saying a different word. It’s lightning. Not light-en-ing. Remi: Shut up, bro! Damon walks to the right side of the ring. Before he can slide onto the apron Jaime sets down the baseball bat and crouches in front of The Devil Himself. Damon pauses before stepping onto his boyfriend's back in order to climb to the ring apron. He turns to face the crowd before slowly entering through the ropes. Damon stands in the center of the ring and holds his arms out in a crucifix like pose. He tilts his head back and basks in the red light before reaching for his crown which he removes before giving it to Jaime for safe keeping. The Nitemare removes his jacket and mask and crouches in the corner his blank white eyes staring unnervingly in anticipation of the match. Remi: What an entrance. Jason comes to the ring on a motorcycle and revs the engine. He flicks a cigarette away, drains the rest of a beer bottle then drives down to the ring. He circles it three times, tells Remi to keep his goddamn mouth shut or he'll kick his ass, again then gets in the ring. Clearwater: HA-HA! Remi: Why does he always threaten to kick my ass? Clearwater: Because he’s awesome. Remi: Okay. Let’s see who is replacing Ironside and Elliott. The arena turns black with white strobe lights. Red smoke smoke fills the arena. As the song, Me Against The World by Simple Plan plays, Scott Slayer appears on the stage with his wrestling attire, and a hoodie on. As the chorus plays he kneels on the stage. Clearwater: OH MY GOD! SCOTT SLAYER IS HERE! When the beat drops and the song plays throughout the arena Scott Slayer walks in a showboating nature to the ring… but he is stopped dead in his tracks when his parents grab him by the arms and haul him backstage. Remi: WHAT THE FUCK?! Clearwater: Okay… well… next? “Ding Dong Song” by Gunther starts to play and the fans boo because the song is atrocious. Some brotherlover called Biff Mustache walks out and is instantly assaulted by the fans in attendance as they throw trash and even their own feces at this mouthbreather. He scurries away with his tail tucked between his legs. Remi: This is ridiculous. Can we get some actual competitors out here? Five Finger Death Punch Never Enough sounds off through the speakers and out comes the baddest son of a bitch on the planet! The man who walks the walk and talks the talk and never gives up. Hot Shot Wayne Austin walks down the ramp talking shit to his opponents and the ring announcer. He gets to the bottom of the ramp and lifts both arms up and the crowd loves and hates him. Clearwater: OH MY GOD! HOT SHOT IS HERE! Wayne steps into the ring from the apron and goes to the farthest corner and climbs up lifting both arms up putting the middle finger to the crowd and flash bulbs go off. Wayne calls for a special drink and the time keeper throws a Keystone to him and Wayne catches it and chugs it real quick. He throws the empty can out of the ring after he crushes it up and then takes off his Austin vest. Remi: Looks like this one is going to stick around for the match. Clearwater: Outstanding! “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen hits the loudspeakers. The fans pop as “Breezy” Eli Beazley hits the stage. He briefly dances to his music and then makes his way to the ring. Remi: WOW! Eli highfives several fans. He stops to take a selfie with a fan and even pauses for a quick interaction with a young fan in the front row. Eli makes his way up to the ring apron and hits a few more dance moves. Finally, Eli hops over the top rope and spins around in the ring with his arms held out engulfing himself in the cheers from the audience. When we get to the chorus of the song , Eli hops up on second rope and leads the crowd in a few ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’s . Remi: That’s five out of six. All we need now is--- "Demonheart" starts and Andrew Barnes walks out from the back in a white jacket, with "A Cut Above the Rest" on the back in gold lettering; he stops near the entrance and flashes a smile towards the crowd. Andrew makes his way down to the fans, high-fiving anyone with their hands out until he finally makes it to the ring. A very modest entrance as Andrew has no need to pose, he stands in the corner and takes his jacket off. He looks around at his challengers, and especially gazes at Eli Beazley, who is the only man to get a victory over him since he came to APW. Remi: So… uhh… where’s the chamber? Where are the weapons? Where is the Killing Floor?! With all competitors set to go, a weird rumble occurs and catches the competitors off guard. The lights in the arena start to flicker and then-- Clearwater: THE RING IS BREAKING! WHAT THE FUCK?! Remi: IT’S CRACKING WIDE OPEN! Indeed it is. The ring is crumbling and all six competitors fall into total darkness underneath the Arthur Ashe Arena, along with a camera guy and a referee. Then a voice is heard… Unknown: Here… let me get a light for you guys… A huge spotlight illuminates the area, revealing William the Behemoth sitting on a couch, eating popcorn. William the Behemoth: Okay midgeys! Fight for my entertainingment! NOW! A bell rings from up in the arena and the six combatants go to work on each other. Hot Shot and Blade. Barnes and Beazley. Warrens and Ryan. The camera man is having a hard time keeping up, so two other camera men propel from the arena like they’re dropping into an unwinnable war. Three epic yet equal brawls occur and then merge into one where all six trade shots with one another. As the action builds, an army of demon children surrounds William and he shares his popcorn with them. William the Behemoth: YESSSSS! DO BIG EEEVIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!! Warrens wrecks Ryan with a double underhook piledriver! William the Behemoth: MERCY KILLING FLOOOOORRRR! Warrens covers Ryan. ONE! TWO! NOOOOOO!!!! Barnes breaks up the fall and drags Warrens up, then wrecks him with a Mendacium lariat. Warrens turns inside out, and so do his clothes somehow. Barnes covers him. ONE! TWO! NOOOOOO!!!! Beazley breaks up the fall and drags Barnes up. The two have an epic staredown, then trade heavy hands. Beazley surprises Barnes with one drop kick, then another. William the Behemoth: DO THE THIRRRD ONE! TRIPLE SHOTTTTT!!!! Beazley connects with the third dropkick to Barnes, then motions for William to stand up. William sets the popcorn down and Beazley climbs on the couch, then climbs up William’s back. He dives off for the Hollywood High Drive but Barnes moves out of the way and Beazley lands hard on the ground. Barnes gets to his feet and he gets double teamed by Austin and Blade. They beat down on him enough to get him onto all fours, then they pull him up and go for a double suplex. Barnes fights out of it and nails them BOTH with Mendacium at the SAME DAMN TIME! William Behemoth: OOOOOOOOWWWWWWHHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!1~! Barnes covers both of them at the same damn time. ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOO!!!! As he is about to win, Beazley breaks up the fall somehow. The two scuffle and fight to their feet, then off into the darkness. William the Behemoth: WHERE U GOING?!!! ZEBRA IS BACK HERE, MIDGEYSSS!!!!1 The focus goes on the other four, as their brawl turns into a united fight. Austin and Blade work over Warrens until Ryan comes in to even the score. It seems strange but Warrens and Ryan make a formidable team. Warrens holds Blade up and Ryan delivers Pink Eye… but Blade ducks and Ryan nails Warrens with it instead. Their alliance was only temporary. Ryan turns around and eats a boot and a stunner from Hot Shot Wayne Austin. He gets up and calls for a beer, and the demon children toss him a couple cans of beer that are in the cave for some reason. Austin is then scooped and destroyed with a finisher from Blade. Blade is the last man standing and he salutes the army or something, then he covers Austin. ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOO!!!! The fall is broken up by Damon Warrens, who drags Blade up, pushes him back and then connects with a bicycle knee strike. William the Behemoth: JUSTIFIABLE HOMOCIIIIIIIDE!!!!1 Warrens covers Blade. ONE! TWO! THREE! The referee’s hand slaps the floor of the cave half a moment before Jason Ryan dives in to break it up, but his decision stands and Damon Warrens is now the APW World Heavyweight Champion once again! Clearwater: I don’t understand anything that we just witnessed… except that Damon Warrens is our new champion. Remi: Where did Barnes and Beazley go?! How is this cave connected to the one in Orlando?! Clearwater: Thou art the unanswered question; Couldst see thy proper eye, Alway it asketh, asketh; And each answer is a lie. So take thy quest through nature, It through thousand natures ply; Ask on, thou clothed eternity; Time is the false reply. Remi: Huh? Clearwater: I don’t know, man. I think I’m dehydrated. This event was just too weird and I---  Remi: OHMYGODDD!!! Clearwater: THAT’S ACTION WRESTLING GENERAL MANAGER ALEXANDER PASTERNAK! He turns around and looks past the camera, now revealing his face. Alexander Pasternak: Has anyone seen Jason Zurra? He turns a corner and sees a group of people. Alexander Pasternak: Tell me you folks know where I can find Irina Ivanova. They shake their heads. Alexander Pasternak: What about Adam Dante? They look at each other and shrug as ADAM DANTE suddenly turns a corner faces off with the AW "contingent". Adam is flanked by security and MASUDA JUEBI! Adam Dante: Well, I'm glad you all enjoyed your stay here but I think it's time you left. I don't enjoy loiters snooping around making a nuisance of themselves. Mister Jubei, NEW MONDAY NIGHT METAL GM...care to show these miscreants the door? Oh, and while you’re at it, find that fifth columnist “Ned” and have him dealt with will you? There's a good chap. FADE OUT as the "guests" are forcibly ejected from the building.  ©XXXX Alpha Media Productions |
