Post by The Kayby on Oct 25, 2020 22:15:46 GMT -5
The camera fades in with the sound of car horns and sounds of the King Street in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. There we find our protagonists, Kayby Hale Cassidy and Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor, going against the flow of people on the sidewalk. Despite the heavy afternoon traffic, the two seem to walk at their own pace. The people very intentionally leave a six foot bubble around them as they recognize the class difference. Kayby Hale Cassidy and Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor are both dressed elegantly. Kayby Hale Cassidy, in his Canadian tuxedo - a denim jacket, denim shirt, and slim-fit denim jeans with designer sunglasses that have denim on the arms. Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor, on the other hand, dons a denim bardot, slim-fit denim jeans, and a denim overcoat. Denim covers just the rims of her designer sunglasses.
"Hey Bambi," Kayby Hale Cassidy says through his denim face mask; a Juul hanging out the side. A cloud seeps from under his mask as he speaks.
"Yes Bae-by," his beautiful, smart, funny, and most perfect girlfriend, Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor responds as her own cloud seeps from under a bejeweled denim mask.
"So like, I'm facing some vampire in like two weeks." Kayby Hale Cassidy grabs Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor's arm and stops dead in his tracks. Slowly, he turns to her with what we can only assume is anxiety on his completely covered face. "Bambi, I'm afraid I'll need to bring a wooden stake to the ring. I don't think that's allowed though, and I can't get disqualified in my first match. How do I beat her without getting disqualified?"
"Oh bae-by," she responds, resting a hand upon the minimal real estate on his almost completely covered face. "You don't have to kill her. You only need to keep her down for three seconds. And who do we know that specializes in that?"
"Me." Kayby Hale Cassidy gasps at his sudden realization. "Too true, Bambi."
"Don't worry about your match. You know I have this covered," Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says as her lips purse and her eyes flash the slightest hint of doubt. "We have to get going. We're gonna be late."
The camera cuts 10 feet back at hip height. The two turn in unison and jaunt past the camera with what we can only assume is a smolder on their nearly-completely covered faces. The camera pivots to follow them, however we no longer find ourselves on the streets of Toronto. Instead we are met with a soft orange glow of a lamp hitting our protagonists. No longer in their plaid attire, they appear in their wrestling attire. Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor clad in her black leather pants and jacket; a Kiss My Cass shirt underneath it. Kayby Hale Cassidy clad in his black Kayby trunks, knee pads and boots; a black leather jacket hangs open as to show off the Michaelangelo's David-esque sculpted marble that are his abs. Both don a pair of Raybans for the ultimate hipster look. They stand side by side, with Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor's shoulder ever so slightly in front of Kayby Hale Cassidy.
"Oh, so I get it," Kayby Hale Cassidy says, his voice in a higher more nurturing tone. "She's Patty Hurst, but with vampires that don't like her because she's a loser. Oh that's sad." His tone, now more evidently, quite condescending. "Oh and her master's name is Justus. That's just a dumb name," says Kayby Hale Cassidy without the slightest bit of irony. "I almost feel bad, Bambi."
"What her?" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says before blowing a raspberry. "She said it herself, she's immortal. She's got all the time in the world to do things like..." Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor pulls a long scroll from out of scene. "Enslave all of the human race."
"Well yeah, but that black-headed stepchild is being treated like the red-headed stepchild. I almost pity her."
"Hale!" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says as she smacks his arm.
"Well it's true Arden." He lets out a long dramatic sigh. "It's a shame I'm going to beat her so badly." He takes a long drag from his Juul and lets out a small giggle. "Poor girl really doesn't even know what's coming. She's got that Brother Zeke person seemingly breathing down her neck. That Justus dude really doesn't seem peachy keen on the idea of actually being useful. On top of all of that she has to worry not only about me, but about you too in this match." He takes another drag from the Juul; this time allowing the vapor to escape his lungs as he talks. "And that's just to divert her focus. Then we need to get into her wrestling ability which is, let's be honest here, are lacking in comparison to mine."
"Too true, Bae-by" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor interjects.
"I'm bigger physically, I'm faster in all ways but one." Kayby Hale Cassidy lowers his sunglasses, cheating to the camera as he winks directly at it before raising them again. "And let's face it, I'm cuter. Plus I got this," He throws out his elbow a couple of times while distorted "do, do-do" sound with his mouth. "Because when it comes to the Kayby Hale Cassidy, take my words as gospel. Everything I say is worth its weight in gold, so take a minute to digest this." A slight pause for dramatic effect. "I am going to beat Phoenix LeStrange." Both Kayby Hale Cassidy and Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor turn toward the camera in unison. Looking directly into the lens, as if to touch the very souls of Alpha Pro Wrestling fans, Kayby Hale Cassidy removes his sunglasses. The camera zooms in to only capture from their shoulders up. "See, Phoenix, a demon has been unleashed here in Alpha Pro. This demon, though, isn't concerned with enslaving humanity. This demon isn't concerned with burning this company to the ground. This demon knows his place in this life and he is going to stand atop his mountain. He is going to give everyone hope and strength to dethrone him. And Phoenix, he is going to laugh after he kicks them back down to the earth where they belong." The camera pans in on Kayby Hale Cassidy alone. "This demon is going to forget about your sad life and abusive vampire family before the end of the week." He tilts his head and raises an eyebrow in a symbol of complete indifference. "'Meh, shit happens,' I'll say come Tuesday morning. And come Monday at The Killing Floor? When my music plays, and that switch hits, the slight amount of empathy I have for you will be out the window. Gone like a fart in the wind." Another dramatic pause for effect. "I will garner a mild amount of pleasure simply answering one stupid little question. Can you kill a vampire with a Silver Bullet?"
With his last word the scene cuts sharply to black with Kayby Hale Cassidy's logo.
"Hey Bambi," Kayby Hale Cassidy says through his denim face mask; a Juul hanging out the side. A cloud seeps from under his mask as he speaks.
"Yes Bae-by," his beautiful, smart, funny, and most perfect girlfriend, Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor responds as her own cloud seeps from under a bejeweled denim mask.
"So like, I'm facing some vampire in like two weeks." Kayby Hale Cassidy grabs Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor's arm and stops dead in his tracks. Slowly, he turns to her with what we can only assume is anxiety on his completely covered face. "Bambi, I'm afraid I'll need to bring a wooden stake to the ring. I don't think that's allowed though, and I can't get disqualified in my first match. How do I beat her without getting disqualified?"
"Oh bae-by," she responds, resting a hand upon the minimal real estate on his almost completely covered face. "You don't have to kill her. You only need to keep her down for three seconds. And who do we know that specializes in that?"
"Me." Kayby Hale Cassidy gasps at his sudden realization. "Too true, Bambi."
"Don't worry about your match. You know I have this covered," Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says as her lips purse and her eyes flash the slightest hint of doubt. "We have to get going. We're gonna be late."
The camera cuts 10 feet back at hip height. The two turn in unison and jaunt past the camera with what we can only assume is a smolder on their nearly-completely covered faces. The camera pivots to follow them, however we no longer find ourselves on the streets of Toronto. Instead we are met with a soft orange glow of a lamp hitting our protagonists. No longer in their plaid attire, they appear in their wrestling attire. Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor clad in her black leather pants and jacket; a Kiss My Cass shirt underneath it. Kayby Hale Cassidy clad in his black Kayby trunks, knee pads and boots; a black leather jacket hangs open as to show off the Michaelangelo's David-esque sculpted marble that are his abs. Both don a pair of Raybans for the ultimate hipster look. They stand side by side, with Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor's shoulder ever so slightly in front of Kayby Hale Cassidy.
"Oh, so I get it," Kayby Hale Cassidy says, his voice in a higher more nurturing tone. "She's Patty Hurst, but with vampires that don't like her because she's a loser. Oh that's sad." His tone, now more evidently, quite condescending. "Oh and her master's name is Justus. That's just a dumb name," says Kayby Hale Cassidy without the slightest bit of irony. "I almost feel bad, Bambi."
"What her?" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says before blowing a raspberry. "She said it herself, she's immortal. She's got all the time in the world to do things like..." Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor pulls a long scroll from out of scene. "Enslave all of the human race."
"Well yeah, but that black-headed stepchild is being treated like the red-headed stepchild. I almost pity her."
"Hale!" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor says as she smacks his arm.
"Well it's true Arden." He lets out a long dramatic sigh. "It's a shame I'm going to beat her so badly." He takes a long drag from his Juul and lets out a small giggle. "Poor girl really doesn't even know what's coming. She's got that Brother Zeke person seemingly breathing down her neck. That Justus dude really doesn't seem peachy keen on the idea of actually being useful. On top of all of that she has to worry not only about me, but about you too in this match." He takes another drag from the Juul; this time allowing the vapor to escape his lungs as he talks. "And that's just to divert her focus. Then we need to get into her wrestling ability which is, let's be honest here, are lacking in comparison to mine."
"Too true, Bae-by" Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor interjects.
"I'm bigger physically, I'm faster in all ways but one." Kayby Hale Cassidy lowers his sunglasses, cheating to the camera as he winks directly at it before raising them again. "And let's face it, I'm cuter. Plus I got this," He throws out his elbow a couple of times while distorted "do, do-do" sound with his mouth. "Because when it comes to the Kayby Hale Cassidy, take my words as gospel. Everything I say is worth its weight in gold, so take a minute to digest this." A slight pause for dramatic effect. "I am going to beat Phoenix LeStrange." Both Kayby Hale Cassidy and Taylor Made Ms. Arden Taylor turn toward the camera in unison. Looking directly into the lens, as if to touch the very souls of Alpha Pro Wrestling fans, Kayby Hale Cassidy removes his sunglasses. The camera zooms in to only capture from their shoulders up. "See, Phoenix, a demon has been unleashed here in Alpha Pro. This demon, though, isn't concerned with enslaving humanity. This demon isn't concerned with burning this company to the ground. This demon knows his place in this life and he is going to stand atop his mountain. He is going to give everyone hope and strength to dethrone him. And Phoenix, he is going to laugh after he kicks them back down to the earth where they belong." The camera pans in on Kayby Hale Cassidy alone. "This demon is going to forget about your sad life and abusive vampire family before the end of the week." He tilts his head and raises an eyebrow in a symbol of complete indifference. "'Meh, shit happens,' I'll say come Tuesday morning. And come Monday at The Killing Floor? When my music plays, and that switch hits, the slight amount of empathy I have for you will be out the window. Gone like a fart in the wind." Another dramatic pause for effect. "I will garner a mild amount of pleasure simply answering one stupid little question. Can you kill a vampire with a Silver Bullet?"
With his last word the scene cuts sharply to black with Kayby Hale Cassidy's logo.
