Post by Andrew Barnes on Oct 25, 2020 11:06:16 GMT -5
Why should I?
Why should I care?
I came in here full of energy and vigor.
Why should I care?
Why care when Alpha Pro doesn't bother with anything? I've been champion for how long? And yet, when I go to Alpha Pro Wrestling dot com... What do I get?
AMERICA JACKSON IS STILL CHAMPION!?
The lack of motivation from whoever APW hires to maintain that site shows just how much they care about their own federation AND talent.
AMERICA JACKSON IS STILL CHAMPION!?
The lack of motivation from whoever APW hires to maintain that site shows just how much they care about their own federation AND talent.
I came in here full of energy and vigor.
And like a boy ready to one pump glory his prom date.
Gone. Just like that.
My back and arms are fucking dead. And what energy I have left is getting sucked away daily from the last of respect this fucking place has shown me.
AND NOW!
Now I have to defend MY title against a bunch of random fucks. Most I have defeated with the simplest of ease in the past.
I mean... JASON RYAN!? How the hell is this dingus still getting title shots is beyond me. The man can barely form a coherent sentence! I'm serious! APW should do the right thing and take him out of this match; check him for tumors or whatever brain damage that has accumulated over the years of being a dumbass in and out of that ring.
Gone. Just like that.
My back and arms are fucking dead. And what energy I have left is getting sucked away daily from the last of respect this fucking place has shown me.
AND NOW!
Now I have to defend MY title against a bunch of random fucks. Most I have defeated with the simplest of ease in the past.
I mean... JASON RYAN!? How the hell is this dingus still getting title shots is beyond me. The man can barely form a coherent sentence! I'm serious! APW should do the right thing and take him out of this match; check him for tumors or whatever brain damage that has accumulated over the years of being a dumbass in and out of that ring.
Then we got John Blade, and you know what? I really don't know if I beat him or not. I think I have? No idea. He has such a stupid name that I probably have whooped his ass.
What about...Max Ironside! Oh yeah. That guy. Good ole' Max Ironside who like myself, had a lot of steam when he came into APW. And like always, APW found a way to suck all the joy out of this lowly wrestler. Where has he been the last couple weeks? Hasn't this guy no-showed or something? Why is he getting a chance at MY title!? What the fuck, Alpha Pro!?
Who's the next dipshit?
Elliot Siscoe..
Ellllllliot.... Siscoe.
I gotta be honest here. This guy may be the only one I have to look at when in that ring. The rest of these yo-yos can suck a lemon. I mean... Damon Warrens? WHO!?
Who the fuck is Damon Warrens and why did Alpha Pro decide to give him a title shot? Did I miss something last Metal? I forgot to watch it since... Well.. I'm not in it.
Enjoy a week off or so, I can't tell with these times; anyways, enjoying my time off was nice. I got to reflect on how great I am compared to the rest of the roster. How easily I came in here and dominated every single one of these fuck nuggets. Yeah... such great times.
Sadly, if I knew my title reign would cause such a collapse here at APW... I would've tried to win it earlier.
Yeah... I talked about how I wanted to keep this place alive, right? That was my shtick coming in here.
"OH... I'M GONNA SAVE APW!"
LIES!
Fuck APW!
This place is wasting my TIME and TALENT. Just wasting away. I could've gone to Action Wrestling and be a mediocre star there, watching the rotation of three or four fuck faces get their title reigns, while the rest job to Noris Cranley.
FUCK THAT NOISE!
If this place goes down. It will be because of ME! ANDREW BARNES! I'm keeping this title. I'm gonna turn into a fucking black hole and suck whatever is left in this sad, pathetic federation... AND I'M GONNA SUCK UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!
...
"Sounds kinda gay!" Johnny yells from the background, as the scene cuts to Andrew Barnes sitting in a studio, with headsets on and sitting in front of a mic with the APW World title around his shoulder.
Andrew takes off his headsets and stares at Johnny Legend, who is standing in the other side of the glass, looking at Andrew as he does his voice over for the following promo. "Wha.. What are you doing here, John!? SECURITY!" Andrew jumps out of his seat, tangling in the headset wires, pointing and yelling for Johnny to be escorted out of the studio.
A couple of overweight, out of shape losers with badges come in and take Johnny Legend away, kicking and screaming... As always. Andrew smiles, regains himself, and sits back down to finish his promo. He motions for the worker to start recording again.
3...
2..
Where was I?
OH YEAH!
Alpha Pro Wrestling sucks.
Wait..
That wasn't it.
Alpha Pro Wrestling can suck my dick?
Nah.
Too childish.
Whatever!
What I'm trying to say is that this place is dead. No saving. Rip out the copper wiring, folks. Because when the roster and whatever fans that are left, when they realize that I can't be stopped... What's the point? What's the point of competing when you know you'll lose?
What's the point of watching when you know I'll always win...FUCK BEAZLEY!
It's boring!
It's boring to watch shit you already know the outcome of.
This is why I quit watching the Detroit Lions.
THEY WILL ALWAYS LOSE!
And now... APW. With Andrew Barnes as your World champion.. You shall always lose.
This place is done. And the only way I quit here is if you fucking kill me.
This title means nothing now. And I plan on keeping it that way until those doors shut. Which shouldn't be too long considering the lack of promos these losers film.
That's right, fans. The superstars here would rather just stay silent and let their wrasslin do the talking. HA! I guess that's a good thing since most of these cuntpuddles would shatter a mirror looking into it. Best to keep the fans eyes from exploding than put Jason Ryan in front of that camera and let him spew about dumb shit like the... snollygoster he is.. Snollygoster?
....
"Snollygoster?" Andrew asks with his brow furled. "What the fuck is a snollygoster?"
The sound director in the other room presses a button and says, "A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician. Mr. Barnes."
Andrew looks side to side, shouldering his title, and asks "Why the fuck did you have me say that?" He holds up the script.
"Your writers believed it sounded cool. I didn't think it fit, though. Almost like someone typed in ""good one word disses"" into Google and this is what they came up with."
Andrew shakes his head and says, "Who the fuck are the writers? Bring them out!"
The sound director gets up and opens the door behind him. He returns with just one man who is obviously wearing a fake beard... "That's Johnny... Isn't it." Andrew says with a deadpan tone.
The fat man pulls down his beard and screams, "HAHA! GOT YOU FUCKERS! YOU'VE BEEN LEGEND'D" Johnny Legend smiles into an imaginary camera and rushes out of the room. The director shrugs at Andrew, who has his eyes close in frustration.
Andrew sighs and sits back down and opens his eyes. The camera focuses on him as he stares at the title on his shoulder.
"This.. This is what everyone wants? A simple title? In a simple federation?" Andrew chuckles and stares into the camera.
"Life. Death. Doesn't matter. There is no void, because there will ALWAYS be something there to fill it. America Jackson is gone. Andrew Barnes is here." Andrew motions with his right hand and wipes some dust off the title.
"A clean surface... But what is clean will always become dirty with time. APW. Action Wrestling. XWF. SFT. NEW. 420 Wrestling. XCW. RWA. FIght!, Boardwalk Wrestling. SIN... And so on. And so on..." Andrew smiles, "Everyone and everything fades. Degrades. Shatters and splatters."
Andrew points to himself, "I took over the throne. America is dead and forgotten."
"All of this. This is what the world becomes. A repeat. A remaster. There is no such thing as a void. How can there be? A room can look empty until you flash a light in it. DUST! DUST EVERYWHERE!"
"We can destroy only the name, but when APW falls, another will take its place. Extinction? Or evolution? Two paths we choose from the beginning. The weak shall choose extinction. If I lose at Killing Floors, it only means I have another form.. Another level. If I win... Well, that just means that I'm better than you." Andrew smirks into the camera, "And Jason Ryan.. Natural selection will take care of you, fuckface." Andrew laughs like a madman as the scene fades to black.
