APW Presents: WORLD WAR WRESTLING! (09/28/20)
Sept 28, 2020 19:03:39 GMT -5
Andrew Barnes and ដានីយ៉ែល like this
Post by ned on Sept 28, 2020 19:03:39 GMT -5
September 28, 2020
Live From: BB&T Center / Orlando, Florida
Seating capacity: 20,500
Exclusive to NETFLIX
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I’ll try to save it if I can.
I’m satisfied with myself.
Don’t care for anyone else.
I’m so united when I stand.
I get my facts from the TV.
Believe in everything I read.
It’s such an ignorant bliss.
When the whole fucking world wants to be like me.
Cause I…
I’m just American trash.
Stupid American trash.
I’m just American.
Clemmens: Too woke?
The ref is done issuing the rules to both competitors and the Stars and Bars are raised on either side of the ring.
The bell rings and America Jackson charges out of his corner like a madman and tries to catch Collins with an early ‘America First’ High Angle back suplex, but Collins shifts his weight and brings Jackson down into the mat face first with a modified bulldog. Jackson doesn’t stay down for long as both competitors are right back to their feet and start exchanging strikes.
Clearwater: Dangerous MMA Fighters.
Clemmens: Seems like if a guy can punch and do a headlock, he claims he’s an MMA fighter these days. Am I alone?
Clemmens: That’s how he normally looks. Don’t worry, he’s got more in the tank.
Jackson turns and looks at the flag and you can practically hear the Eagle screech as he looks at it. His eyes lock on and he starts marching towards it, ready to fondle the red white and blue like it’s never been fondled before. He slowly scales the turnbuckles and once he’s to the second turnbuckle, he starts a slow clap thinking the fans will join in.
Indeed he is. He is crouched in the opposite corner, waiting for Collins to turn around. When he does, Clemmens charges in and nails him with an extremely high impact gore, right into the corner that America is climbing.
Remi: Eli Beazley… duh…
Barnes is handed the championship and he holds it close, not believing this moment is real. He looks out at the fans, who still cheer for him despite being a prick sometimes. Barnes climbs up the cage from the outside. As he sits atop the cage, he holds the belt up high.
Clearwater: What a match! What a show! What a---
Remi: THEY'RE HERE!
The camera goes to ringside as the masked intruders storm the cage and they start climbing up as Barnes climbs back into the cage.
Clearwater: Those are the men who abducted Spartan... Vonn Richter… and Von Vagabond!
Barnes drops the belt and prepares for a fight as the intruders climb down into the cage. There are six of them and they line up side by side, standing between Barnes and America. Barnes calculates his chances of survival… and then goes to work fighting the six men. He gets an initial upper hand but the numbers game becomes too much and they pile on top of the new champion.
Remi: HOLY SHIT!
Clearwater: WHERE'D THE LIGHTS GO?!
Sure shit. The lights went out. Slams are heard in the ring. When the lights return…
Remi: WHAT THE WHAT, BRO?!
Clearwater: WHERE'D THEY GO?!
The only one remaining in the ring is Andrew Barnes… who is lying in the middle with the APW World Championship draped over him.
Remi: AMERICA IS GONE!!!
Clearwater: UNBELIEVABLE!!!
The camera pans closer to Barnes, who clutches the title close. He mouths out 'fuck' as the show fades to black.
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:: BRASS KNUCKLES BRAWL ::
Apokalypse VS DEATHMACHINE VS Johnny Legend VS The Octopus
Apokalypse VS DEATHMACHINE VS Johnny Legend VS The Octopus
Absolute pandemonium. From the moment the bell rings, all four men fight to get a set of brass knuckles from one of the posts while keeping the others away from them. Legend and Apokalypse tumble out of the ring at one point, leading to a segment where DM and the Octopus engage in some incredibly slow and sloppy lucha mat exchanges. As this turns back into a fistfight in the ring, Legend manages to clock Apokalypse over the rails with a rough lariat. He sneaks back in and becomes the first to get a set of brass knuckles but DM and Octo catch him and lay him out with a giant double chokeslam! They go back to it and DM is getting the upper hand when Octo catches him with the Black Mist! DEATHMACHINE staggers in pain! Octo runs the ropes to follow up but gets clapped with a Big Boot by Apokalypse! He collapses to the apron! Apokalypse lets out a massive yell and turns…INTO A BRASS KNUCKLE RIGHT HAND BY JOHNNY LEGEND! Legend surveys the ring and sees Octo getting up in the apron. He swings at him, but Octo catches it and drags Legend out to the apron. He grabs him for a Chokeslam but Legend clocks him with the knucks! The Octopus is OUT but he collapses forward and all his weight turns into a front splash to the floor! Johnny Legend is pinned beneath the bulk of the Octopus! Back in the ring, DEATHMACHINE’s vision has cleared and he gets a pair of brass knuckles! Seeing Apokalypse down, he climbs to the second rope…BRASS KNUCKLE FIST DROP! He covers!
ONE!
Jessica Kaine: The winner of whatever the fuck just happened… DEATHMACHINE!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Jessica Kaine: The winner of whatever the fuck just happened… DEATHMACHINE!
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LIGHTS OUT!
While DEATHMACHINE celebrates the win on the ring, suddenly the lights in the arena went black out then the fans becomes silenced not knowing what’s happening right now then their phone lights comes on.
Remi: What is this, we have a technical problem here with the lights black out during DEATHMACHINE’s celebration win! What’s going on right now?
Clearwater: I’ve got a feeling that someone new is coming to APW, I wonder who has joined APW to make his presence here to give the fans a surprise arrival!
The AlphaTron played a video being scared of someone is about break in her house and started panicking to find a place to hide. The criminal man begins to break in the women’s house then Jamo is standing behind the criminal man while Jamo hiding in the shadows carrying a sawed off shotgun and Jamo follows him. The police phone operator will say “911 what’s your emergency?” Then the women who replied back will say “someone is breaking in my house to kill me.... please help” and the police phone operator will reply back saying “where abouts inside the house are you, help will be on the way.” Women say “Please hurry I’m in my bedroom closet, hurry please I’m going to be dead soon.” Criminal man opens the bedroom closet with a evil smirk then the women screams and Jamo appeared beside the criminal man loaded up the gun beside his head and say “Get f@&ked mate” then the shots echos the arena, Chin Check by N.W.A music hits the arena and the lights synced with the music. The fans goes nuts while Jamo shows up on the entrance stage wearing suit clothes, black formal shoes and sunglasses on.
Remi: Holy shit, It’s Jamo! APW has signed the Hardcore legend, Hardcore Nightmare and The dangerous man on the planet! This is a huge signing for APW!
Clearwater: The fans are shocked of his arrival! Just to let you know that Jamo is a former world champion, Former tag team champion and he’s a 15 times hardcore champion who have won different feds before joining APW. I thinks he’s here to make an impact!
Remi: What a lot of title accomplishments that he won in his career and don’t forget he’s a two time hall of famer when he was inducted.
Jamo walking down the ramp taunting bullet club finger guns with the fans as they joined with him, he walk up the steel steps by grabbing the microphone while walking up the gets on the ring.
Jamo: Ladies and Gentlemen, THE DANGEROUS MAN HAS ARRIVED TO A...P.....W! Now I would like to apologise for interrupting your party win of your match tonight but first let me send a warning to the current World, Hardcore, North American and tag team champions a warning right now cause I will be coming after any of you to claim that will be mine! Now back to the winner who won the match let me see you face to face!
Jamo gets close to DEATHMACHINE’s face to stand face to face then Jamo takes off the sunglasses with a serious look on his face.
Jamo: Listening carefully now, mate you’re just a shithouse to me and you ain’t worth of my time. That match was pathetic and it didn’t show me that you don’t have the talent to keep up with me.
Jamo backs away from him with a dissatisfied emotion look then the fans laughed echos the arena and DEATHMACHINE shoves Jamo. Jamo looks shows that he was pissed of after being shoved.
Clearwater: Oh shit..... Bad idea to shove Jamo like that unless you’ve sign your will unless you wanna piss him off.
Jamo hits the signature move Clothesline From Hell that drove him down hard and stunned him.
Remi: Clothesline From Hell that nearly took his head off!
Jamo gets to the corner waiting for DEATHMACHINE to get up while taunting bullet club finger gun to signal the finisher, while DEATHMACHINE gets up slowly then Jamo connects Contract Killed finisher that knocked him out cold!
Clearwater: Claymore Kick, Claymore Kick and he’s out cold!
Jamo: The finisher is called contract killed and what an impact by Jamo tonight as the dangerous man makes his presence felt tonight! Wait he’s picking the microphone up again to talk more!
Jamo picks up the microphone up and looked down at DEATHMACHINE.
Jamo: This is a message to you, the entire roster and champions Get....
Jamo raised the microphone up in the air for the fans to shout.
Fans: FUCKED!
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:: MYSTERY PRIZE MATCH ::
Alex Scott VS Elijah Dixon VS Madwoman Szalinski
Clearwater: Our first of two matches tonight with a mystery prize on the line. I wonder what it could be.
Remi: I wonder who that is...
Clearwater: That’s Madwoman Szalinski.
The camera pans over to the ring, where the competitors are awaiting the opening bell.
Remi: That’s not Madwoman. She’s certainly dressed like Madwoman, bro... but...
Clearwater: Weird. I think you may be right. Someone appears to be cosplaying Madwoman in this match. That’s... weird...
The opening bell sounds and Alex Scott immediately attacks “Madwoman” to start off the match. He shoves her into the corner and starts laying in palm strikes, then gets pulled back by Elijah Dixon. The two engage in a round of fistacuffs as “Madwoman” starts to climb up the ropes. Without hesitation, she jumps back and crossbodies both opponents to the mat. The fans cheer and “Madwoman” gets to her feet, then quickly removes the mask.
Clearwater: IT’S LEXI SPARKLES!
Remi: We haven’t seen her in several weeks! What a surprise!
Clearwater: I wonder why Madwoman didn’t show up tonight though...
Lexi turns around and pulls Alex up, then gets rocked with a jawbreaker from the former Junior Heavyweight Champion. She backs up and Alex rocks her with a superkick. She falls to the mat and rolls to the apron. When Alex turns around, Elijah takes him down with a power double leg takedown lift and slam. He mounts Alex with punches before dragging Alex up to his feet. He locks Alex in a clawhold and then takes him back down with and STO.
Clearwater: THERE’S THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NO!
The fall is broken up by a springboard elbow drop from Lexi. She pops to her feet and holds her elbow as the fans cheer. She pulls Elijah off of Alex and clenches his neck, pulling him up. She hooks him for a suplex, he twists out and pulls her into a v-trigger knee!
Remi: KILLSHOT!
Lexi falls to the mat and Elijah covers her.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell sounds.
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match... and number one contender for the APW Junior Heavyweight Championship... ELIJAH DIXON!
Remi: WHAT!!
Clearwater: We now know what the mystery surprise was for this match! Outstanding!
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:: MYSTERY PRIZE MATCH ::
Jason Ryan VS Daniel Christopher VS Brother Zeke
After the three competitors exit the ring separately, the next three competitors mysteriously spawn inside of the ring
Clearwater: WHOA!
Remi: We don't even get a Netflix clip this time?
Clearwater: I guess not.
Remi: Jason Ryan, Brother Zeke and Elliot… I'm sorry… Daniel Christopher are ready for action.
Clearwater: Weird slipup.
Remi: It happens, bro.
The three combatants meet in the center and argue about what the mystery prize is. It's obvious that it's a title shot… but they can't agree on which title.
Jason Ryan: World!
Daniel Christopher: North American!
Brother Zeke: Hardcore!
Referee: Shut up and wrestle!
He calls for the opening bell and they all throw hands. Their scuffle turns into a ball of dust that rolls around the ring and accidently pulls the referee into it. Zeke falls out, wearing the striped shirt. He jumps back in and Daniel falls out, wearing the striped shirt. He jumps back in and Jason falls out, wearing the striped shirt.
Remi: This is silly.
Clearwater: This is awesome!
Jason takes off the shirt and throws it into the scuffle. He leans up against the ropes in the corner and waits for the scuffle to be over. It finally ends… and both Daniel and Zeke stumble out and collapse in the ring. Jason covers Daniel.
ONE!
Jason covers Zeke.
ONE!
Jason Ryan: COME ON!
Jason gets up and he argues with the referee. Daniel sneaks up behind him with a waistlock but Jason holds onto the ref. Zeke sneaks up behind Daniel with a waistlock. The ref breaks Jason's hold and Zeke german suplexes Daniel while he german suplexes Jason.
Remi: GERMAN AF SUPLEX, BRO!
Zeke covers Daniel.
ONE!
Zeke covers Jason.
ONE!
Brother Zeke: COME ON!
Zeke gets up and he argues with the ref. As he does, Jason joins him and they scold the ref together. While distracted, Daniel rolls up Jason while pushing Zeke up against the ropes for leverage somehow.
ONE!
The bell rings just before Zeke has a chance to break it up. Daniel slides out of the ring.
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match… and number one contender for the APW North American Championship… DANIEL CHRISTOPHER!
Clearwater: He was right!
Clearwater: WHOA!
Remi: We don't even get a Netflix clip this time?
Clearwater: I guess not.
Remi: Jason Ryan, Brother Zeke and Elliot… I'm sorry… Daniel Christopher are ready for action.
Clearwater: Weird slipup.
Remi: It happens, bro.
The three combatants meet in the center and argue about what the mystery prize is. It's obvious that it's a title shot… but they can't agree on which title.
Jason Ryan: World!
Daniel Christopher: North American!
Brother Zeke: Hardcore!
Referee: Shut up and wrestle!
He calls for the opening bell and they all throw hands. Their scuffle turns into a ball of dust that rolls around the ring and accidently pulls the referee into it. Zeke falls out, wearing the striped shirt. He jumps back in and Daniel falls out, wearing the striped shirt. He jumps back in and Jason falls out, wearing the striped shirt.
Remi: This is silly.
Clearwater: This is awesome!
Jason takes off the shirt and throws it into the scuffle. He leans up against the ropes in the corner and waits for the scuffle to be over. It finally ends… and both Daniel and Zeke stumble out and collapse in the ring. Jason covers Daniel.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Jason covers Zeke.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Jason Ryan: COME ON!
Jason gets up and he argues with the referee. Daniel sneaks up behind him with a waistlock but Jason holds onto the ref. Zeke sneaks up behind Daniel with a waistlock. The ref breaks Jason's hold and Zeke german suplexes Daniel while he german suplexes Jason.
Remi: GERMAN AF SUPLEX, BRO!
Zeke covers Daniel.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Zeke covers Jason.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Brother Zeke: COME ON!
Zeke gets up and he argues with the ref. As he does, Jason joins him and they scold the ref together. While distracted, Daniel rolls up Jason while pushing Zeke up against the ropes for leverage somehow.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings just before Zeke has a chance to break it up. Daniel slides out of the ring.
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match… and number one contender for the APW North American Championship… DANIEL CHRISTOPHER!
Clearwater: He was right!
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:: U.S. OPEN CHALLENGE SUBMISSION MATCH ::
John Blade VS Derrick the Goat
Jessica Kaine: The following match is a U.S. Open Challenge Submission Match!
Marks: YYYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
Jessica Kaine: Introducing first… from Boston, Massachusetts… weighing in at two hundred and fifty one pounds… The Doctor of Thuganomicks… JOOOOOOOOOHHHNNNNN BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!~!
John Blade walks out on stage. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and tosses it to the fans. He salutes and runs straight down towards the ring.
Clearwater: BIG MATCH JOHN IS HERE!
Remi: Ugh…
He bounces off the ropes side to side and he holds up his “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect” shirt. He takes off his hat and tosses his shirt to the fans and hands his chain to the ref.
Clearwater: I can't believe his opponent is Derrick the Goat!
"Baby Goat" plays and Derrick the Goat walks out from backstage.
Jessica Kaine: And his opponent… from Gwenwyn Hill Farm in Waukesha, Wisconsin… DERRICK THE GOAT!
He proudly walks to the ring while the fans mercilessly boo him and throw trash at him.
Remi: HOW DARE THEY! THIS LEGEND IS A GOAT!
He gets in the ring and immediately goes for Blade. The bell rings. Blade ducks a clothesline and he hits the ropes. Blade takes hum down with a flying shoulderblock, then a sitout hip toss, then a side-release spinout powerbomb. The fans go wild as Blade hits the ropes and connects with a fist drop.
Clearwater: FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE!
Remi: Ugh…
Derrick pops to his feet after the fist drop and he gets scooped up onto Blade's shoulders.
John|Blade: YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
He emphatically slams Derrick on the mat and goes for the cover.
Remi: Why isn't the ref counting?!
Clearwater: Because it's a submission match!
Blade also forgot about the stipulation. He gets up with a smile and locks in a Stepover Toehold Facelock! Derrick the Goat has no choice but to tap out! The bell rings.
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match… JOOOOOOOOOHHHNNNNN BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!~!
Clearwater: HE'S DONE IT! JOHN BLADE HAS WON THE U.S. OPEN CHALLENGE!
Remi: Ugh…
His music plays and he celebrates with the people.
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:: iCUP TOURNAMENT FINALE ::
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ VS Max Ironside VS Ariel Shadows
We cut to the ring where all three competitors are inside. Travis, Ariel, and Max Ironside look at one another in their respected corners.
Clearwater: And we're going to finish off the iCUP Finale match right now with these three wrestlers.
The ref calls for the bell to start the match. Travis stomps over towards Ariel, grabs her by the head and chucks her outside. Travis turns to Max and attempts to do the same. Travis grabs Max by the head and lifts him up, crushing Max's head between his hands. Max gets out of it by pushing off the top rope, which lifts him above Travis for a bit, before falling down and landing a spinning dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane on Travis.
Clearwater: Great counter by Max.
Remi: Yeah, Max almost became Max.. Flathead.
Clearwater shakes his head at the terrible joke.
Max jumps to his feet and rushes to the top ropes. Ariel jumps out from ringside and pushes Max off the top ropes, sending him crashing down on Travis. Ariel climbs the top turnbuckles and jumps off to land a flying elbow on Travis, with Max quickly rolling away in time to dodge it.
Ariel gets to her feet, along with Max. The two stare at each other for a second before trading jabs. Max knees Ariel in the gut and tosses her into the ropes. Ariel bounces off and returns to Max, who attempts to flip her over his back, but Ariel rolls over Max's back... Only to get a fast chokeslam by Travis!
Remi: What the!? How did he get up so quickly?!
Clearwater: Open your other eye, Jonah.
Remi: Oh..
Clearwater: Poked yourself again?
Remi: Shut up.
Travis swings at Max, but Max grabs hold of Travis' arm and locks Travis into the Crippled Crossface!
Clearwater: IT MIGHT BE OVER HERE!
Ariel rushes in and plants a boot directly into the face of Max Ironside. Max breaks the hold and rolls out of the ring. Ariel pins Travis.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Clearwater: Close one for Travis.
Ariel attempts to lift Travis up, but his dead weight is fighting her on it; as she drags him closer to the center of the ring. Ariel jumps off and lands another flying elbow drop on Travis. However, Max slides into the ring and once Ariel gets up, she is met with the Han-decapitation. Max covers Ariel!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Jessica Kaine: THE WINNER OF THE MATCH.... MAAAXXXXXX IRROOOONNNSIIIIDEE!
Clearwater: I thought this was an elimination match.
Remi: Who the fuck cares?!
Clearwater: Well… anyway… Max Ironside has won the 2020 Internet Cup Tournament!
Remi: Yeah, yeah. Big deal. Admit it, Mike. The tournament was a bust. Sure, a bunch of people came in and did cool stuff the first week... but the tournament was riddled with scheduling problems and then a lackluster finale.
Clearwater: At least the office is trying to do something special for those who put in the effort, Jonah. Give them a little credit.
Remi: I do. I just don’t know how long they can sustain this sideshow.
Clearwater: Speaking of sideshow... coming up later tonight... Giggles defense the Junior Heavyweight Championship against Renaissance Taylor!
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:: TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP LADDER MATCH ::
Sara Pettis & Derrick Vayden* VS Lilianna Rose & Dave Van Dam
Partners brought together by fate. Now fighting for the APW Tag Team Championship. This is the first ladder match in APW since 2020 Ways to Die eight months ago. We head to the ringside area where the championship belts are hanging high above the ring. Both champions and challengers are standing in the ring, looking up at the endgame. The teams lock eyes with each other and the bell rings.
Remi: The battle begins!
Both teams charge to the middle, immediately locked in a furious round of fistacuffs.
Clearwater: Dave has Derrick in the corner! Lilianna has Sara in the opposite corner!
The challengers whip the champions. The whip is reversed. Dave and Lili lock arms and spin around, then simultaneously clothesline Sara and Derrick. The champions roll to the outside to gain composure while Dave and Lili give each other a nod. They slide out and go for the same ladders as the champions. There's a struggle on both sides of the ring ending with Sara and Dave getting knocked into the guardrail. Derrick and Lili slide ladders into the ring.
Remi: This is too synchronized. I hate it.
They slide in and set the ladders up side by side, then lock eyes. They climb up next to each other, making it near the top before attempting to reach the belts. Derrick is taller, so his reach is higher. Lili goes up one step and her ladder wobbles. She reaches up and can't reach them. She then elbow Derrick in the head.
Clearwater: Oooohhhh!!!!
Remi: That was a bad idea!
Derrick reaches up and he slams Lili headfirst into the ladder. He then turns around on the ladder and hooks under her arm and then--
Clearwater: OH MY GOD!
Remi: URANAGE OFF THE LADDER!
Clearwater: SHE IS BROKEN IN HALF!
Remi: Vertically or horizontally, bro?
Clearwater: Does it matter?
Remi: Mayhaps, bro.
By now, Dave and Sara have both found their way into the ring. They both look up at the belts, then at each other. They sidestep the ladder and approach with arms wide open, embracing momentarily before pushing each other away. They start trading shots as the fans go bonkers.
Clearwater: Two former [redacted] World Champions! This is awesome!
Remi: We can’t say [redacted] on Netflix? What’s shitty!
Clearwater: [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
Remi: Unreal, bro.
Dave gets the advantage with a forearm, then throws a kick. Sara catches the kick, shaking her head. She slams his leg down and hits a spinning heel kick to the immortal icon or whatever. She starts climbing the ladder and soon realizes she needs to climb higher to reach. As she does, Dave gets up and puts his hands on the ladder. Sara looks down and pleads for him to stop. He says sorry before shoving the ladder toward the rope. Sara jumps back and miraculously springboards off the top rope, soaring through the air with a moonsault on Dave.
Clearwater: THAT WAS INSANE!
Sara rolls away and gets to her knees, clenching her ribs from the impact of the moonsault. She looks stunned.
Remi: That was an accident, bro.
She slowly gets to her feet and stands the ladder back up, then looks around to see Derrick and Lili getting to their feet. Lili throws a punch and Derrick ducks, causing her to punch the ladder. She pulls back her fist and screams in in agony and Vayden hits her with a jumping knee strike.
Clearwater: JOURNEY TO NOWHERE!
Lili falls to the mat and Derrick points up the ladder. Sara starts to climb as Derrick goes to the other side, booting Dave in the head as he starts to get up. Derrick turns around and holds the ladder still as Sara climbs as high as necessary to retrieve the belts from above. The bell sounds and the champions have retained. Sara climbs down and hands one to Derrick as the champions raise their arms in the air.
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LIGHTS OUT!
As the match ends, the arena goes dark and heavenly blue lights come on and Zeke's face is on the AlphaTron, laughing.
Clearwater: It's Zeke. He's laughing?
Remi: Must have a stash of laughing gas somewhere.
Clearwater: Very funny.
Zeke stops momentarily.
Zeke: Lilliana! Lilliana! Better pray. I'm coming to get you.
Suddenly a body flies down from the rafters onto the stage and just hangs there. And it looks like her!
Zeke: Muahaha! Salvation is just around the corner! Muahaha.
Suddenly the lights go black and then back to normal as Zeke's face is gone.
Clearwater: That was rather terrifying.
Remi: Nah, I've seen hookers more terrifying than him.
Clearwater: H-how? Nevermind. I don't want to know.
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:: JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP BARNUM'S FUNHOUSE ::
Giggles!* VS Renaissance Taylor
We cut from the Arena to a big top circus tent where Renaissance Taylor is dropped off via company car. She gives it a dismissive look, clearly not impressed with whatever may follow. Still, she understands that to win the Junior Title, she’ll need to step inside and so she does. The tent is enormous on the inside. Bright oranges and reds colouring the whole thing with tattered ribbon dropping down from the sky. The stands are empty. The whole arena is, save for a pro wrestling ring in the center. Renaissance climbs in hesitantly and the moment she finishes passing through the ring ropes, the lights go out.
When they come back on, Giggles is standing behind her. She moves to turn, but he covers her head with a potato sack, laughing and chuckling as he does so. Renaissance fights through a moment of panic and turns enough to lay in some hard strikes to Giggles’ midsection, causing him to back off enough for her to recover and get the bag off her head. Before she can do anything else, the lights drop again. When they come back, she’s holding the bag on Giggles’ head as he struggles and fades. She pulls back immediately, clearly unsure how she got in that position. Giggles laughs from beneath the sack and stands upright, grabbing his head underneath the sack and twisting it suddenly. The lights dropping again leave nothing but a sick cracking noise.
When the lights return, the ring is gone and Renaissance is left in an empty stage...but the stands are no longer empty. It’s a packed house with each and every one of them the tall, gaunt figure of a scarecrow. Renaissance looks around for Giggles but can’t see anything but an increasing number of spotlights falling on her. Then the laughter starts. A husky, shaking laughter like trees shaking in the wind. The audience of scarecrows pull a hand up to point as they laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and...
Renaissance is still in the spotlight, but her ring gear has disappeared, replaced by a petticoat jacket over a corset and leggings. In her hand is a whip. Standing across from her, Giggles and Barnum stand on either side of a tiger’s cage. She rushes to try and stop them, but they let loose the latches and the tiger runs free. She freezes for a moment, looking the creature in the eyes and cracking the whip in the hopes of taming it. But the tiger won’t be tamed. It lunges at her, making a straight line with its teeth bared. Renaissance raises her arms in defense and she screams as the tiger…
…is gone. Renaissance is back in her ring gear now, surrounded by a hall of mirrors. She walks through cautiously, looking for any signs of her opponent. She sees herself distorted and shaped in a multitude of ways. She sees herself as a child and a old woman, life and death standing in harmonious reflection. Then down the middle path, she sees herself as she is now…with the Junior Title around her waist. She starts to walk toward that future, but the mirror cracks. The reflections change. Giggles, Giggles, all of them Giggles as the laughter returns amid the sound of shattered glass.
Through the broken glass, Giggles charges at her. He lets out a sharp, high pitched scream as he swings wildly with a mallet. Renaissance barely sees it coming and goes low, taking his legs out from under him and sending him crashing hard into the glass. As Giggles squeals in pain, she grabs the mallet and raises it high, looking to finish him when the lights drop again.
When they return, Renaissance’s hands are covered with blood. Gone is the mallet and in its place is a shard of bloodied broken glass. Beneath her, Barnum gurgles and chokes from an apparent slashed throat. The lights flicker and Giggles is there, weeping over the fallen body of Barnum. Renaissance steps back slowly. “I…I wasn’t…” she sputters. “I didn’t…” but the scarecrows in the crowd just keep laughing. Laughter for misery. Laughter for death. Laughter for anti-life. Laughter and laughter and laughter and laughter and...
Giggles connects with it back in the ring! He goes in for a cover!
ONE!
Giggles lets out an angry bellow. The scarecrows murmur among themselves now, the joke unclear when the punchline should be death. Giggles reaches for the mallet, raising it high above his head for a final strike. Renaissance jumps up with Zero In! The jumping knee catches Giggles flush on the jaw and staggers him! She hits it again! Again! Renaissance screams as she fights to drop the monster! Finally Giggles crumples to his knees, chuckling weakly as though spent. The Scarecrows caw now. Caw in fear and dismay. Renaissance ignores them, grabbing the mallet and raising it high in the air before shattering it on Giggles’ skull!
Darkness once more. The crowd is silent and gone. Scarecrows fill the ring, carrying Giggles away in defeat. One of them hands the title to Renaissance who is still breathing heavily and wary of what may come next. She looks closely at the title and in a moment, Giggles and the scarecrows are gone, the big top circus gone with them. Renaissance Taylor stands alone in an empty field, the new APW Junior Heavyweight Champion.
When they come back on, Giggles is standing behind her. She moves to turn, but he covers her head with a potato sack, laughing and chuckling as he does so. Renaissance fights through a moment of panic and turns enough to lay in some hard strikes to Giggles’ midsection, causing him to back off enough for her to recover and get the bag off her head. Before she can do anything else, the lights drop again. When they come back, she’s holding the bag on Giggles’ head as he struggles and fades. She pulls back immediately, clearly unsure how she got in that position. Giggles laughs from beneath the sack and stands upright, grabbing his head underneath the sack and twisting it suddenly. The lights dropping again leave nothing but a sick cracking noise.
When the lights return, the ring is gone and Renaissance is left in an empty stage...but the stands are no longer empty. It’s a packed house with each and every one of them the tall, gaunt figure of a scarecrow. Renaissance looks around for Giggles but can’t see anything but an increasing number of spotlights falling on her. Then the laughter starts. A husky, shaking laughter like trees shaking in the wind. The audience of scarecrows pull a hand up to point as they laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and...
s i l e n c e
Renaissance is still in the spotlight, but her ring gear has disappeared, replaced by a petticoat jacket over a corset and leggings. In her hand is a whip. Standing across from her, Giggles and Barnum stand on either side of a tiger’s cage. She rushes to try and stop them, but they let loose the latches and the tiger runs free. She freezes for a moment, looking the creature in the eyes and cracking the whip in the hopes of taming it. But the tiger won’t be tamed. It lunges at her, making a straight line with its teeth bared. Renaissance raises her arms in defense and she screams as the tiger…
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…is gone. Renaissance is back in her ring gear now, surrounded by a hall of mirrors. She walks through cautiously, looking for any signs of her opponent. She sees herself distorted and shaped in a multitude of ways. She sees herself as a child and a old woman, life and death standing in harmonious reflection. Then down the middle path, she sees herself as she is now…with the Junior Title around her waist. She starts to walk toward that future, but the mirror cracks. The reflections change. Giggles, Giggles, all of them Giggles as the laughter returns amid the sound of shattered glass.
Through the broken glass, Giggles charges at her. He lets out a sharp, high pitched scream as he swings wildly with a mallet. Renaissance barely sees it coming and goes low, taking his legs out from under him and sending him crashing hard into the glass. As Giggles squeals in pain, she grabs the mallet and raises it high, looking to finish him when the lights drop again.
When they return, Renaissance’s hands are covered with blood. Gone is the mallet and in its place is a shard of bloodied broken glass. Beneath her, Barnum gurgles and chokes from an apparent slashed throat. The lights flicker and Giggles is there, weeping over the fallen body of Barnum. Renaissance steps back slowly. “I…I wasn’t…” she sputters. “I didn’t…” but the scarecrows in the crowd just keep laughing. Laughter for misery. Laughter for death. Laughter for anti-life. Laughter and laughter and laughter and laughter and...
GRAND FINALE!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Darkness once more. The crowd is silent and gone. Scarecrows fill the ring, carrying Giggles away in defeat. One of them hands the title to Renaissance who is still breathing heavily and wary of what may come next. She looks closely at the title and in a moment, Giggles and the scarecrows are gone, the big top circus gone with them. Renaissance Taylor stands alone in an empty field, the new APW Junior Heavyweight Champion.
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:: HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP HARDCORE MATCH ::
William the Behemoth* VS Adelaide Ainsworth
Clearwater: William's completely knocked out.
Remi: Obviously, bro.
The camera pans over to reveal that William the Behemoth is gone… and there is a giant hole in the floor of the arena!
Clearwater: Did he just fall into the basement?
Remi: I didn’t know there was even a basement in the BB&T Center, bro!
Addy crawls over and looks out of the ring, eyes bulging once she sees the hole in the floor. She looks up at the referee… who we are just now noticing is Norm MacDonald for some reason…
Addy: The fuck ya want me to do now?!
Norm: I don’t know. Go after him?
Addy: Well shit…
She slides out of the ring and tries to step to the other side of the hole but her tiny legs don’t reach far enough and she falls down into the dark pit, screaming in a cartoon way until there is no sound. Norm climbs out of the ring on the other side and he looks at the camera man.
Norm: Hey, you. Does that camera have a light on it?
The camera man nods his head.
Norm: Good. Follow me.
He walks over to the hole and points down. The camera man points his camera into the dark hole, then he gets pushed in by Norm. Norm then slowly removes his shirt and looks at another camera man by the ring.
Norm: There’s no way in Hell I’m going down there… so I’ll trade you…
The camera man shakes his head and backs away, but Norm snatches the camera out of his hand and shoves the shirt into his chest. The camera man reluctantly puts on the shirt, realizing that he will also be shoved into the hole. He decides to jump down… and he, too, screams out like Goofy falling down a canyon or something. And then…
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The camera feed cuts to below the BB&T Center. The light reveals Addy lying on top of William, both unconscious. The camera slowly pans around at...
Clearwater: Are they in a cave?! Is there a cave under the BB&T Center?!
Remi: Looks like it, bro.
Noises are heard in the darkness and the camera pans quickly back and---
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He drops the camera and runs screaming. Luckily the camera is facing the heap of hardcore wrestlers on the floor of the cave. The demonic children walk over and surround them, and then one of the slowly gets down on the ground, then begins to count.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings and the child slithers over to the camera before the feed dies and we return to the ringside area. Remi and Clearwater are speechless... for a good, awkward fifty or so second...
Clearwater: That... was... uhh...
Remi: Yeah... it was... bro...
Clearwater: I think we need a... uhh... Netflix video or...
Remi: I need to go.... uhh... change my pants... bro...
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:: NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP FLAG MATCH ::
America Jackson* VS Lex Collins
Jessica Kaine: Approaching the ring first, the challenger, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is Lex Collins!
Remi: So here goes, this will be America’s first title defense tonight and it’s bound to be a heck of a challenge given his opponent.
The lights dim, and the sound of a heartbeat fills the silence, growing a little louder and faster before being replaced with a driving rock beat. "Re-Education (Through Labor)" by Rise Against kicks into gear over the arena sound system, getting an ear-splitting huge pop from the female fans in attendance. Orange and red spotlights fade up slowly, like the sun rising to reveal a fire in the sky, illuminating two silhouettes. Lex Collins stands with his head bowed and pauses before raising his arms, thrusting them directly into the path of the spotlights as the crowd erupts into cheers yet again. Midway down the ramp, Lex stops and shrugs out of his Brutal Apparel hoodie, awarding it to a lucky fan in the crowd. He pauses for a few selfies with fans before hopping up on the apron. Grinning at the crowd, he presses his right fist over his heart to a huge pop before turning and springing over the rope.
Clearwater: Before we get too far ahead of ourselves, we’d like to welcome ‘The Dirty Dog’ Shane Clemmens to the announce team.
Clemmens: No, you’re welcome. I told you guys if I didn’t see Nathan Gust climbing out of his grave that I’d keep showing up. So here I am.
Remi: Just remember, this match is about the North American Championship AND it’s a flag match so it’s harkening back to old times!
Clemmens: I like that you used ‘harkening’.
Jessica Kaine: And entering next is the North American Champion, weighing in at 265lbs. He is America ‘America Jackson’ Jackson!
The lights dim and the sounds of American Trash by InnerPartySystem ring through the arena. Flashing neon lights give way to flashes of red, white, and blue as the American flag beats against the darkness.
I’ve got this planet in my hands.I’ll try to save it if I can.
I’m satisfied with myself.
Don’t care for anyone else.
I’m so united when I stand.
America Jackson appears at the top of the entrance ramp, a title in each hand with arms spread wide but otherwise unmoving.
I get my facts from the TV.
Believe in everything I read.
It’s such an ignorant bliss.
When the whole fucking world wants to be like me.
America pulls the titles to his shoulders and starts walking to the ring, picking up his pace as the beat goes.
Cause I…
America slides into the ring and lets out a yell, twin titles held high as the beat drops.
I’m just American trash.
Stupid American trash.
I’m just American.
Remi: Now the ring hands will raise the flags.
Clemmens: So, given that Lex is from ‘Sin City’ and America is from Trump’s asshole, we can agree that both of these dudes are American, right? What kind of fucking dumb match is this? Really? I mean I get it if one is American and the other is some Commie trash, but two Americans? At least give one of them the Confederate flag or something.
Remi: Oh no, we can’t do that.
Clemmens: Too woke?
The ref is done issuing the rules to both competitors and the Stars and Bars are raised on either side of the ring.
The bell rings and America Jackson charges out of his corner like a madman and tries to catch Collins with an early ‘America First’ High Angle back suplex, but Collins shifts his weight and brings Jackson down into the mat face first with a modified bulldog. Jackson doesn’t stay down for long as both competitors are right back to their feet and start exchanging strikes.
Remi: These two are both very capable strikers.
Clearwater: Dangerous MMA Fighters.
Clemmens: Seems like if a guy can punch and do a headlock, he claims he’s an MMA fighter these days. Am I alone?
Collins catches Jackson with a hard right that drives him back into the ropes. Collins follows him and catches him against the ropes with lefts and rights to the body. Jackson reels, stumbling into the corner and he’s caught by Collins with a vicious European uppercut that puts him onto his ass in the corner. Collins backs up to the center of the ring and charges forward, landing a hard knee into Jackon’s face. Collins drives another knee forward and turns his attention to the flag above. He starts climbing the turn buckles, but can’t quite reach from the second, so he goes all the way to the top, he holds the flag pole with one hand as he reaches up.
Remi: This could be it!
Clemmens: Or not?
Jackson rises up, right between Collins’ legs and thrusts him off the top turnbuckle forcefully with a violent powerbomb. Collins crashes to the mat hard and rolls to the middle of the ring, face down. Jackson ignores the opportunity to go for the flag and charges forward and lands a thunderous knee drop to the back of Collins’ skull.
Remi: Vicious assault by the champion here!
Clearwater: Collins looks completely out of it.
Clemmens: That’s how he normally looks. Don’t worry, he’s got more in the tank.
Jackson turns and looks at the flag and you can practically hear the Eagle screech as he looks at it. His eyes lock on and he starts marching towards it, ready to fondle the red white and blue like it’s never been fondled before. He slowly scales the turnbuckles and once he’s to the second turnbuckle, he starts a slow clap thinking the fans will join in.
Clemmens: This crowd is way too woke for that bud, just do the fucking thing with the thing.
Remi: Your commentary is amazing, sir.
Clemmens: Goddamn right it is.
Jackson reaches for the flag just in time to receive a flying drop kick to the back of his knees by Collins. Jackson doesn’t fall off the turnbuckles, but he does turn and sit on the top turnbuckle, setting him up for a wicked flying DDT at the hands of Lex Collins. America Jackson’s bounces off the mat like a superball as Collins favors his elbow for a moment.
Clemmens: Someone better call this guy the ‘Greek Grappler’ asafp.
Remi: Now we’ve got the Greek Grappler taking control and what does he have in mind next?
Jackson and Collins both rise to their feet and meet again in the middle of the ring to exchange lefts and rights. This time, Jackson comes out on top and finishes his flurry with a brutal boot right to the abdomen of Collins. Lex Collins doubles over and Jackson plants him with a stump piledriver. The torque of the move sends Collins pogo sticking across the mat before he finally flaps to his belly like a caught fish.
Remi: Thunderous impact! What a move!
Clemmens: The worst part of being on the receiving end of a stump piledriver isn’t the obvious ensuing headache, but it’s the wedgie. Seriously has you trying not to be obvious about tugging that wedgie out for the rest of the match.
Clearwater: Incredible insight!
Jackson scales the turnbuckles again, but this time he ignores the flag and turns around and points at Collins and signals that something bad is about to happen. Collins rises up slowly and once he’s completely upright, Jackson leaps off the top rope. Again, you can hear the screech of an Eagle as Jackson soars through the air. Jackson lands right into Collins’ waiting grasp and Collins lands the ‘Mind Killer’ side-slam backbreaker.
Remi: Wow!
Clearwater: Now both men are down, but Jackson undoubtedly got the worst of that exchange!
Clemmens: I’d say you’re accurate with that one. Collins got Jackson seeing amber waves of grain.
Collins gets back to his feet and heads for the opposite corner where the untouched flag is waiting like a prom date with legs wide open. Collins starts climbing the turnbuckles, but hesitates as he looks back at America who is stirring like an OCD caffeine addict at Starbucks. Collins climbs back down the turnbuckles and scores a diving knee to the back of Jackson’s head - flattening him out.
Remi: Just to be sure, I think, Collins with the extra bit of offense there.
Clemmens: Good call on Lex’s part. Anything that adds to the brain damage America already has, the better.
Clearwater: We think it’s funny now, but when he sues APW for CTE we might not be laughing.
Clemmens: Heyooo
Collins is back to the top turnbuckle and he’s got one hand on the flag and he’s ready to make a fist as America Jackson rises to his feet. America, realizing what’s going on, turns MAGA hat red with anger and charges over to Collins and catches him from behind and brings him off the top turnbuckle with his patented high angle back suplex ‘America First’! Both men are laid out like a buffet of fast food at the White House.
Remi: There are no counts, no pinfals, no submissions in this match. The only way to win this match is to claim one of those flags.
Clemmens: Again, I get that America Jackson is a USA cliche, but how does this take Lex Collins’ personality into account?
Clearwater: Well America Jackson is the Champion.
Clemmens: But Collins never lost the title.
The two men slowly crawl to the corner and start climbing the ropes. Once they to their knees they start throwing strikes at each other. They match blows as they slowly pull themselves up. Finally they’re both standing in the corner throwing wild punches at each other. All the ref can do is watch as the two fighters pound each other into a stalemate. Collins scores a headbutt that rattles Jackson, but Jackson answers back with a headbutt of his own.
Clemmens: See this is what I want. I want to be in the ring at the next PPV. I want to exchange headbutts with Gust. And until I get that, I’ll keep coming back. Next time, I might even jump in the ring and ruin one of these obnoxious novelty matches you guys seem to love so much.
Remi: Wait, they’re important to me!
Clearwater: Sorry folks, Clemmens has left the announce position and he appears to be heading to the backstage area.
Remi: Rude, that guy.
Clearwater: We’re living in a rude world, Remi.
Collins whips Jackson to the opposite corner and charges forward and lands a high knee strike to Jackson, but as Collins tries to transition the move into a running bulldog, Jackson lifts him up and charges forward and plants Collins with an atomic drop.
Remi: Now would be a great opportunity to go for the flag, champ.
America looks up at the flag, nodding his head. He gives a salute to his own before climbing the ropes for Collin’s flag.
Remi: There it is.
Clearwater: Good call.
Remi: Shut up, bro.
America makes it to the second rope and reaches up.
Remi: LOOK OUT, BRO!
Collins stops his attempt at victory by attacking from behind. He starts to climb up and hooks underneath America, who holds onto the flagpole for dear life. America gets in a quick back elbow, catching Collins in the side of the head. The former champion drops back to the mat and starts to get to his feet. The fans unexpectedly roar and America looks back, telling Collins to turn around.
Clearwater: IT’S CLEMMENS! HE’S BACK!
Indeed he is. He is crouched in the opposite corner, waiting for Collins to turn around. When he does, Clemmens charges in and nails him with an extremely high impact gore, right into the corner that America is climbing.
Remi: WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT, BRO?!
America looks stunned as he narrowly avoided a terrible accident in the corner. Clemmens drags Collins out of the corner and pulls him up by the neck, screaming at him.
Clemmens: I KNOW YOU’RE ALIVE, GUST! COME AND FIGHT ME, COWARD!
Clemmens lays in the strikes to Collins as America finishes his ascent to victory, retrieving the flag and successfully retaining his championship. The bell sounds and America waves the flag, only to be interrupted by Clemmens grabbing his leg. America reacts by kicking back, sending Clemmens back a few feet. He quickly climbs out of the ring where he is handed the North American Championship.
Remi: I can’t believe Clemmens just cost Collins the championship, bro.
Clearwater: Well… he did just say next time he might jump in the ring and ruin one of these--
Remi: Shut… up… bro!
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:: WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITANIUM CAGE MATCH ::
America Jackson* VS Andrew Barnes
America has barely had a moment to recover from the Flag Match when Demonheart hits and the Titanium Cage begins to lower, signalling the beginning of the World Title match. Clemmens leaves the ring and walks up the ramp as medics rush in to get Collins out of there before the cage lands in place.
Remi: Oh come on! Pick another night! America’s still reveling in being the undisputed BEST EVER American Champ and now he’s gotta go right back to it, all over again?
Clearwater: He chose to defend both titles tonight. He’s going to have to own that decision.
Andrew Barnes makes his way out and enters the cage, staring down the World Champion. America clutches both titles close for a moment, before handing them over to the referee and letting the match begin.
Clearwater: Can America Jackson make it through tonight with both titles or will Andrew Barnes become the first man to pin or submit him in APW?
Remi: Or will the little rat try to escape?
The match starts out with America taking things to the mat. Barnes is more than capable of keeping up, but America uses his experience advantage to set the pace and keep momentum down. Eventually, Barnes realizes he needs to use a different angle to get things going, using positioning to press America into the buckles from the mat. From there he controls for a period, making clever use of his punching capabilities and taking advantage of the ring in order to keep pressing America. When he throws America into the cage the first time, there’s a moment where the champ looks stunned, having never been in a match where the cage was legal before. Barnes pressed on that, slamming him into the cage again and pressing him against it, trying to draw blood. He hangs America in the ropes, looking to slam him against the cage with a Mendacium, but America catches him into an overhead suplex that sends him crashing into the cage!
Clearwater: Oh my god!
Remi: That’s right! Show him champ!
America crawls, looking for the door, but the Titanium Cage can only be climbed. He pulls himself up and starts to ascend, but Barnes sees him and grabs his boot. America manages to kick himself free, but sees the challenger closing in and looks to dive off the top at him. Barnes catches him in midair into a DDT! Both men are down again, but Barnes manages to roll into a cover!
ONE!
Remi: TAP! TAP GODDAMN YOU!
Clearwater: The champion has Andrew Barnes caught! Will he make him tap?
Barnes fights, managing to get enough leverage to lock his hands together. Eventually he rolls the champion over into a folding pin!
ONE!
ONE!
Clearwater: We were this close to crowning Andrew Barnes as the new World Heavyweight Champion!
Barnes can’t believe it. He looks exasperated as the champ starts making his way back to his feet. With one more place to go, Barnes lines him up…Error! He gets it locked…NO! America slips it and cuts behind…AMERICA FIRST! He hits it! But the champ is too exhausted to cover! He crawls for it, fighting with all he has! One arm gets thrown over the challenger!
ONE!
Remi: Andrew Barnes just barely stays in it!
Clearwater: For a moment it looked like America Jackson had made it through with both titles intact, but Andrew Barnes will not stay down.
With the challenger lying prone, America begins moving to the cage. Slowly, Barnes begins stirring as well. America starts to climb, but Barnes sees the match slipping away and pushes to his feet, climbing up to meet the champion! He slams America’s head into the Titanium! Again! America is dazed as Barnes climbs higher! He’s starting to climb over when America goes to pursue…only for his legs to be held by Johnny Legend! Andrew Barnes doesn’t see it, climbing the rest of the way over and down the other side! It’s only as his feet touch the floor that he sees his would be manager’s involvement as the bell rings!
Remi: NO GODDAMMIT! THEY STOLE IT FROM HIM!
Clearwater: Andrew Barnes doesn’t seem any more enthused about his manager’s participation than you are.
In the ring, America Jackson looks gutted as Johnny Legend throws the World Title over the shoulder of an infuriated Andrew Barnes. “This was my moment!” he yells, but Legend simply replies “Sure is.” Slapping the title as Barnes looks conflicted. Security rushes the ringside area to contractually remove Legend from Barnes' presence.
- 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 - 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 - 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 -Remi: Oh come on! Pick another night! America’s still reveling in being the undisputed BEST EVER American Champ and now he’s gotta go right back to it, all over again?
Clearwater: He chose to defend both titles tonight. He’s going to have to own that decision.
Andrew Barnes makes his way out and enters the cage, staring down the World Champion. America clutches both titles close for a moment, before handing them over to the referee and letting the match begin.
Clearwater: Can America Jackson make it through tonight with both titles or will Andrew Barnes become the first man to pin or submit him in APW?
Remi: Or will the little rat try to escape?
The match starts out with America taking things to the mat. Barnes is more than capable of keeping up, but America uses his experience advantage to set the pace and keep momentum down. Eventually, Barnes realizes he needs to use a different angle to get things going, using positioning to press America into the buckles from the mat. From there he controls for a period, making clever use of his punching capabilities and taking advantage of the ring in order to keep pressing America. When he throws America into the cage the first time, there’s a moment where the champ looks stunned, having never been in a match where the cage was legal before. Barnes pressed on that, slamming him into the cage again and pressing him against it, trying to draw blood. He hangs America in the ropes, looking to slam him against the cage with a Mendacium, but America catches him into an overhead suplex that sends him crashing into the cage!
Clearwater: Oh my god!
Remi: That’s right! Show him champ!
America crawls, looking for the door, but the Titanium Cage can only be climbed. He pulls himself up and starts to ascend, but Barnes sees him and grabs his boot. America manages to kick himself free, but sees the challenger closing in and looks to dive off the top at him. Barnes catches him in midair into a DDT! Both men are down again, but Barnes manages to roll into a cover!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
They’re both slow to get up but Barnes makes it up sooner, clearly fresher with only a single match. He moves to start climbing, getting a little way up before America catches him around the waist, ripping him down in a sick German Suplex! Barnes is struggling to recover but America swarms him! Stump Piledriver! America lays in some ground and pound before rolling Barnes into a Jujigatame!Remi: TAP! TAP GODDAMN YOU!
Clearwater: The champion has Andrew Barnes caught! Will he make him tap?
Barnes fights, managing to get enough leverage to lock his hands together. Eventually he rolls the champion over into a folding pin!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
America kicks out and in doing so, releases the hold. America tries to keep swarming, looking for his leaping knee, but Barnes evades it, hitting the ropes for momentum and coming off hard with the Mendacium! He hooks the leg on a cover!ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Remi: I just had a heart attack.Clearwater: We were this close to crowning Andrew Barnes as the new World Heavyweight Champion!
Barnes can’t believe it. He looks exasperated as the champ starts making his way back to his feet. With one more place to go, Barnes lines him up…Error! He gets it locked…NO! America slips it and cuts behind…AMERICA FIRST! He hits it! But the champ is too exhausted to cover! He crawls for it, fighting with all he has! One arm gets thrown over the challenger!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Remi: Andrew Barnes just barely stays in it!
Clearwater: For a moment it looked like America Jackson had made it through with both titles intact, but Andrew Barnes will not stay down.
With the challenger lying prone, America begins moving to the cage. Slowly, Barnes begins stirring as well. America starts to climb, but Barnes sees the match slipping away and pushes to his feet, climbing up to meet the champion! He slams America’s head into the Titanium! Again! America is dazed as Barnes climbs higher! He’s starting to climb over when America goes to pursue…only for his legs to be held by Johnny Legend! Andrew Barnes doesn’t see it, climbing the rest of the way over and down the other side! It’s only as his feet touch the floor that he sees his would be manager’s involvement as the bell rings!
Remi: NO GODDAMMIT! THEY STOLE IT FROM HIM!
Clearwater: Andrew Barnes doesn’t seem any more enthused about his manager’s participation than you are.
In the ring, America Jackson looks gutted as Johnny Legend throws the World Title over the shoulder of an infuriated Andrew Barnes. “This was my moment!” he yells, but Legend simply replies “Sure is.” Slapping the title as Barnes looks conflicted. Security rushes the ringside area to contractually remove Legend from Barnes' presence.
Confetti reigns down from the heavens as the Andrew Barnes has finally lived up to his name by becoming APW World Champion.
Clearwater: The boyhood dream is realized! Andrew Barnes has reached the top! Who can stop him now?
Remi: Eli Beazley… duh…
Barnes is handed the championship and he holds it close, not believing this moment is real. He looks out at the fans, who still cheer for him despite being a prick sometimes. Barnes climbs up the cage from the outside. As he sits atop the cage, he holds the belt up high.
Clearwater: What a match! What a show! What a---
Remi: THEY'RE HERE!
The camera goes to ringside as the masked intruders storm the cage and they start climbing up as Barnes climbs back into the cage.
Clearwater: Those are the men who abducted Spartan... Vonn Richter… and Von Vagabond!
Barnes drops the belt and prepares for a fight as the intruders climb down into the cage. There are six of them and they line up side by side, standing between Barnes and America. Barnes calculates his chances of survival… and then goes to work fighting the six men. He gets an initial upper hand but the numbers game becomes too much and they pile on top of the new champion.
Remi: HOLY SHIT!
Clearwater: WHERE'D THE LIGHTS GO?!
Sure shit. The lights went out. Slams are heard in the ring. When the lights return…
Remi: WHAT THE WHAT, BRO?!
Clearwater: WHERE'D THEY GO?!
The only one remaining in the ring is Andrew Barnes… who is lying in the middle with the APW World Championship draped over him.
Remi: AMERICA IS GONE!!!
Clearwater: UNBELIEVABLE!!!
The camera pans closer to Barnes, who clutches the title close. He mouths out 'fuck' as the show fades to black.
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