Post by Renaissance on Sept 26, 2020 23:15:57 GMT -5
  "There's a sucker born every minute." - P.T. Barnum Hello, boys and girls. Tonight we have something very special for you. It’s a story about one of our all-time favorites and we’re sure, by the end of this story, he’ll be one of your favorites too. It’s ok to be so excited! Once upon a time there was a clown named Giggles and he was the bestest friend to all of the little boys and girls, just like you! Some of the boys and girls were a little bit afraid of Giggles because he was so big, but as they got to know him, they became bestest friendsies with him too! To know Giggles back then - was to love Giggles. Not only was Giggles the bestest friend to all those who needed a friend, but he was also the first one to stand up to the meanies. Oh how Giggles loved to play with all of his fellow roster members at ‘AyePeeDoubleYou’. Giggles, your favorite clown and mine. He had another bestest friendsie. A man who kept Giggles on the right path. His name was Isaac. Isaac Barnum. Well, maybe ‘Master’ is a better term for who Isaac was to Giggles. Bestest Mastersies! Whatever cutsie ring you want to put on it, go right ahead. You see, Giggles was on a great path at ‘AyePeeDoubleYou’. He teamed with people like Cray Mitchell and Vonn Richter and faced people like Dakota Joseph Franco, T.Jordi Trash, and James Nightmare. All of these bestest friends and worstest enemies would vanish in a flash too. Oh how it made Giggles so sad, seeing all of his bestest friends leave through the revolving door that was ‘AyePeeDoubleYou’ A quick aside, how much fun is this cutsie baby language broken English stuff? Especially when you can use it when you want to imply naivety or even innocence? Yes, when you lack the actual ability to portray real naivety or innocence, why not force it. How lazy. I digress. So, boys and girls, Giggles needed more friends to play with and soon he won the Junior Heavyweight Championship from (also soon to depart) Eli Beazley. You guessed it, boys and girls, they were bestest friendsies too! Soon Giggles was smiling again because he had so many new friends. Soon he found himself in the ring hugging and playing fun games with some of his most ‘specialest’ friends by the names of Victoria Sabin, Phoenix LeStrange, and Liliana Rose. Oh how he had so much fun with his new bestest friends! But, boys and girls, you know what happened again? Like all those before them, all three of those ‘bestest’ friendsies Giggles had, also vanished. Again, Giggles found himself all alone with no friends. Isaac Barnum watched this and knew that he would soon have some hard decisions to make. But guess what happened next, Boys and Girls? Giggles found himself a brand new bestie. Yep, that’s right! Giggles had a reason to smile again and how happy he became when he found out that soon he would be face to face with his next bestest friendsie. Yay! Her name was Renaissance Taylor and little did Giggles know but… Let’s pause for a moment and be realistic. Everything till now has been sugar coated because it seems that, boys and girls, Giggles really needs the coating or he’ll simply cease to have any meaning. Do you know what a ‘static figure’ is, boys and girls? Giggles represents this, because if you look at each and every one of his promotional videos, you see the same thing on repeat. Same goes for his master Isaac Barnum. Same. Rehashed. Mantra. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. I digress. So Renaissance Taylor and Giggles got to play together and boy did they have fun! Giggles realized then and there that he finally had a friend who wouldn’t leave. See, unlike all of his previous bestest friends, Renaissance Taylor wasn’t a flake. Furthermore, her abilities were far beyond anything he could grasp mentally. Giggles had finally found out that hugs and laughs and vomiting up fairy dust weren’t going to get the job done any longer. For the first time, Giggles had a bestest friendsiewendsie who would never leave, but he wasn’t happy. Giggles frowned, knowing that there were monsters beyond his control at ‘AyePeeDoubleYou’. Giggles lost but he wasn’t completely lost. He still had his friend, advocate, and master, Isaac Barnum. Yay, boys and girls! Not only did he have his new ‘forever’ friend in Renaissance, but he also had good old Isaac Barnum who was a complete and utter sham, but we’ll get to that, kiddos. Isaac Barnum realized that his little toy, Giggles wasn’t good enough. Isaac was sad, boys and girls. What had been working all the way up until the moment Giggles met Renaissance, wasn’t working anymore. OH NO! So, boys and girls, what do you think Isaac Barnum did next? That’s right, he did the same as those he stole his name from - he closed up shop. With that closing, Giggles was out on the street. Giggles realized that all of those people he used to hug and turn into friendsies were paid by Isaac Barnum. All of those bestest friendsies he had in the crowd? They too, were also paid by Isaac Barnum. Everything Giggles had known was an illusion. All except for Renaissance Taylor. She was there for him. Oh but boys and girls, Giggles didn’t want Renaissance Taylor. Nobody in ‘AyePeeDoubleYou’ wanted Renaissance Taylor. Why? Because she was the meanie they just couldn’t do away with. So, any fool can be happy, but it takes a truly dumb one to believe the illusion that was Giggles the clown. Bye for now, boys and girls!   |
