Post by ned on Sept 24, 2020 10:17:44 GMT -5
Our adventure begins backstage at the Legacy Arena in Birmingham, Alabama. Our surprising APW Tag Team Champions Sara Pettis and Derrick Vayden have arrived to sign short-term contracts during the duration of their reign. They approach an open door that reads "NED THE INTERN". They stop before entering.
"Are you ready for this?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
He puts his hand on her shoulder and she enters first, looking in awe at the man seated at a fold-up plastic table. Ned the Intern looks shockingly similar to her late husband… but he has glasses.
"Hello there!"
"H-hi. I'm… uhh…"
"Sara Pettis! I'm a huge fan!"
"I bet you are..."
Ned gets up from his messy paperwork to shake their hands. Sara looks like she's seen a ghost. Ned goes to the table and shuffles paper.
"I'm glad you guys could make it. I've got your contracts… uhh... somewhere around here."
"We came all the way to sign a piece of paper. You couldn't have just faxed it over?"
"Do you have a fax machine?"
"No. Of course not."
"Well…"
He finds the right folder and holds it up.
"YATA! Please have a seat."
They all sit down around the table. He hands over the contracts to the champs so they can look over the details.
"Pretty standard stuff. Contract length is until you are no longer champions. No merchandising deal unless you sign full-time contracts. Yada yada. Money money. You guys get it. You're pros at this."
"Damn right we are. This all looks good. I've never seen a three page contract before. You run a pretty simple shop over here, huh?"
"Oh no. I'm just an intern."
"Just… an intern? I don't buy it. I've heard you're the driving force behind APW Metal for the last two months."
Ned blushes.
"But I'm not even an admin… so…"
He notices Sara staring at him and not the contract.
"Ms. Pettis… is everything okay with your contract?"
"Oh, yeah. It's just… you… uhh…"
"You look like her late husband, guy."
"Raging Dead?! Oh wow! I don't see it really. Maybe the eyes but I have glasses. He was a great guy. I was looking forward to working with him but then… well…"
"Yeah…"
"Who do ya got for us for a title defense?"
"At our last supershow, two wrestlers were paired together by fate to earn a title shot. Their names are Lilianna Rose and Dave Van Dam."
"DVD IS STILL AROUND?"
"Oh. You know of him?"
"He was friends with my parents. I grew up watching him. I had the opportunity early in my career to work with him… but I figured he was long retired by now."
"He was! Your husband gave us a list of contacts for recruiting. Dave came in. Mike Zybala. Alexander Hayes. Madwoman Szalinski."
"That's wonderful. It'll be nice to get in there with Dave again to see what he's still got. Who was his partner again?"
"Lilianna Rose."
"I'm not familiar with her work."
"She popped back up after I took over… I mean… uhh… after I started interning."
"She's another rando from WCF."
"Nathan almost signed with WCF maybe four years ago."
"Of course he did."
"So your first title defense is at World War Wrestling against Van Dam and Rose… and there was an online poll where the fans decided that it's a ladder match!"
"Oh wow!
"Ugh…"
"What's the matter?"
"Here I was thinking this extra work would be a breeze."
"Oh… well… if Dave Van Dam is involved… you can count on it not being a breeze."
"Well, Ned… everything looks good on paper. Got a pen."
"Ope!"
Ned scrambles around to find a pen for the champions to sign their contracts. Once complete…
"Marvelous! Welcome to Alpha Pro Wrestling!"
He shakes their hands again, and Sara doesn't let go. It gets awkward and Ned pulls his hand away.
"Uhh… okay. I've got some stuff to do for the show tonight. Feel free to roam around, get to know the crew, cut a promo for World War Wrestling even."
Ned scurries out of his own office.
"What was that, Sara?"
"I'm sorry. It's just… so… weird…"
"He's gone, pardner. You've got to accept that."
"I know. I know…"
"Wanna get our promo out of the way?"
"Might as well…"
The Alpha Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions are standing in front of a World War Wrestling backdrop.
"Would you look at that sweet logo! Wow! Crow did a great job!"
"Who is Crow?"
They both stare into the camera for three full seconds.
"Hello, Alpha Pro Wrestling! FTH is here and we are YOUR Tag Team Champions! Now… you may be wondering what FTH stands for…"
"FUCK THE HANGMEN!"
"Okay, that works. But it can stand for whatever you want. Forget the Hangmen. Forever the Hated. Find the Hope. Follow the Hype. It doesn't matter what you call us. Just don't call us late to dinner!"
"Dad jokes are my thing, pardner!"
"Sorry. I've transitioned into being both parents to my daughter, so I picked up a Silly Dad Jokes book last week to get educated."
"Oh… yeah…"
"Only happy thoughts though. We are here in APW and somehow we are Tag Team Champions. Man Made Gods should be here but The Hangmen cheated their way to these here titles at Alpha Showdown. We righted that wrong and we have only happy thoughts!"
"I have some very dark thoughts about our opponents at World War Wrestling… but for you, Sara… I'll play nice."
"We did our due diligence on our opponents and you'll be surprised by what we found: they're not a tag team! A shocking turn of events has fated them together, much like how we became a tag team! They also once fought each other a few weeks back… much like we did, Derrick!"
"Different circumstances… but I see what you're getting at. One guy, one gal. Former adversaries, now pardners. We're so evenly matched that--"
"Hold up. You lost me at evenly matched. That's just not accurate. I'm a second generation… multi-time World Champion. Lilianna Rose is a recovering drug addict who survived about an hour's worth of matches in her career. You're a breakout star in any company lucky enough to have you… a future World Champion… and Dave Van Dam is fifteen years past his prime. There's no comparison once you dig down deep. We are champions because we outsmarted a bunch of thugs. They are contenders because they got eliminated from a battle royal. We. Are. Not. The. Same."
"Oh wow. Well… that's hard to dispute…"
"Darn right. I mean no offense to either of them. Right now, I'm on the verge of a second prime in my career. I can't let my first impression in APW fall as flat as a fart in church. This is the perfect first title defense for us because this is an unpredictable team. We don't know how well they work together because this is their first match together. And since this is only our second match together… we've got a lot of kinks to work out as a tag team."
"You might not want to bring up kinks to Lilianna. She'll put a dog collar on you like she did Cray Mitchell."
"That happened?!"
"Probably."
"Also, who?!"
"He's a guy who beat the last world champion and then kind of… stopped… doing stuff…"
"We've got a lot of catching up to do here if we're going to be APW Tag Team Champions for the foreseeable future."
"Yeah… so… you know I'm with you all the way, Sara. It's just… what I've got going on in Action Wrestling is important also and--"
"No worries. You just show up when we've got a title match and I'll handle the rest."
"Great. I won't leave you hanging out there. We may be a new team… but we are a team. I'm not so sure about Lili and Dave. I haven't seen them on Metal for weeks… and now they're going to challenge us?! HAH!!!"
"I thought that was weird, too. Honestly… the whole show has been weird for a few months. Nathan had the show set to record on our DVR… and when he passed… I left it on there. Over the last week, I caught up on stuff and it's… an odd show. I'm not sure how much longer they can keep it going. Crowds are still hot. They have some of the hottest stars in the business. But it's just… I don't know…"
"Ned the Intern does so much for so little."
"Yeah. That's it. Did you hear he's not even an admin?"
"I did hear that."
"I'm somehow an admin over at--"
Derrick shoots her a look and she stops.
"Uhh. So anyway. World War Wrestling! FTH is headed to Orlando, Florida! After a family trip to Disney World… we're going to stroll into the BB&T Center to do the dang thing! Walk in champs! Walk out champs! You know the drill!"
"I don't know if it'll be that simple, but Disney World sounds like fun. This match is a total unknown. Challengers barely know each other. Champions are making their debut on pay per view. It's all over the place. There's no way to accurately predict this match… and that's the fun of it. And now… NOW… the online voting is over and this is a LADDER MATCH! This is no walk in the theme park for any of us… and we're going to let fate decide who leaves Orlando with the gold. I'd love to bring this belt home to my baby girl. She likes it when I put it around the waist of her huge teddy. Unlike the teddy… I am going to go hard at World War Wrestling. Lilianna and Dave… if they can hold their team together long enough to make it to Orlando… are in a rough ride. As rough as all the times Space Mountain derailed… but hopefully with less deaths. No promises though."
"No, no. No deaths. There's been more than enough in our industry this year. There won't be any mean words or ill intent this week, folks. Only hard work and determination. We're ready to dive into APW and bring some life back to tag team wrestling. Man Made Gods defined what it meant all year… and then The Hangmen ruined everything. Now we have the torch and it's our responsibility to rebuild the division."
"Other than us… who are the teams?"
"There aren't any. The Storm is done. 5'2" Mafia is done. The Faithless is done. The Bloodline is done. It's up to us. It's up to FTH to make others want to come after these belts. Sure, there's Lili and Dave… but they will be vanquished at World War Wrestling. If we have to make our own challengers… then so be it."
"Fantasy booking time?"
"Yep! Brother Zeke and Aaron Blaze! Alex Scott and Daniel Christopher! Ricky Schorg and Apokalypse! Madwoman Szalinski and Lexi Sparkles! Ariel Shadows and Max Ironside! DEATHMACHINE and Johnny Legend!"
"You've got a chaotic booking style. Just like…"
"Yep! So many possibilities! So many good matches ahead! All we have to do is beat up a mismatched team and climb a ladder! Easy peasy! Lemon squeezey!"
"I don't know if it'll be that simple… but I love the enthusiasm, pardner. This whole thing came out of nowhere. All I wanted was revenge on Frank Lowe. I didn't think his goons would have to defend the APW Tag Team Titles in Action Wrestling. I'm all for a crossover episode… but titles crossing streams at random seems like a strange choice. You wouldn't see Walter show up in APW to defend against John|Blade."
"That would be my favorite match ever! We need to pitch that to Ned the Intern!"
Sara rushes out of the office. Derrick stands up and looks out into the hall.
"What have I gotten myself into?"
Das ende.
