MONDAY NIGHT METAL S03/E07 09/14/20
Sept 14, 2020 12:31:06 GMT -5
ned and The Very Big Supervillains like this
Post by ned on Sept 14, 2020 12:31:06 GMT -5
September 14, 2020
Live From: Cox Convention Center / Oklahoma City, OK
Seating capacity: 14,700
Exclusive to NETFLIX
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HARDCORE INTRO!
HARDCORE INTRO!
The camera feed cuts to a shot of Dani Applegate, back against a wall with loud, Floridan-sounding noises coming from just around the corner.
She takes a deep breath, then walks around the corner, closer to the source of the noise.
Voice: ADDAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!
William the Behemoth lunges outward, constantly switching direction like he hasn't fully picked a direction for his rage. He eventually decides to begin aimlessly throwing around objects instead. Frisbeeing a folded chair down the corridor as most staff begin walking away, as if William is some drunk homeless person.
William attempts to barge his shoulder through a random door, which does nothing. He struggles for a second before going down onto his hands and knees and screaming:
William: ADDAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!
Beneath the bottom of the door.
Dani Applegate: William?
William turns his head lightning fast, like a startled (albeit oversized and overweight) meerkat. He grumbles before attempting to ride to his feet.
Dani Applegate: What are your thoughts on your partner Travis' run in the iCUP tournament? And how do you plan on getting your Hardcore title back from Add-?
William snatches the microphone. Having given up on rising back up, he simply shouts into the microphone from the floor.
William: All I care about it my RIGHTFUL, EARNED Hardcore Title!! Alright?! I'm the HardKing! You don't steal a King's crown, you don't steal any of his freaking clothes!! That mongoose Addy is gonna get what's coming to her mongoose fricking legs and mongoose-!! Fricking-!!! ARMS!!!
Fool me once? Shame on you.
Fool me twice?
No.
Not happening!!
I've got that midgety scent and I will not stop! I will not sleep! I will not even eat until I find Addy and get my Hardcore-! MLEH-!!
William yelps as another cardboard box, similar to the one from last week, flies out of nowhere and bounces off his head.
The camera turns to the direction the box had come from. No sign of any suspicious box thrower or malicious Hardcore Title thief.
The camera zooms back on William, who rises back to his feet and claws the box open, ripping out a note before taking the remnants of the box and kicking it down the hall.
He barely hits the box and it only flies a couple steps away but he's too annoyed to get even more annoyed. Hopefully.
He reads over the note in his hands. He reads over it again and his eyes widen in rage.
William: One of you chumps need to read this out for me! Not that I can't! I just- It's midget writing. Yeah. I don't want to read that!
Dani takes the note and begins to read it out.
Dani Applegate: "Hey, ya fatass. Ya ever read Hansel an' Gretel?
I'm not really a fan, and I'm fairly certain you're too dumb to read, but I think we should do a reenactment.
Ya want ya Hardcore Championship? Just follow the breadcrumbs.
With intense disgust, Addy."
William: Oh nice lack of dramatic reading there, midget. I'm barely even immersed now. Hey, when in the-!!
The camera turns to the left and suddenly there is a trail of breadcrumbs leading into the background. William walks forward, scratching the back of his head onc kicking the breadcrumbs to make sure they're real.
William: Ahhh... another game, huh? "Follow the uh... midget, stupid, dumbass, small, stupid leader" or something?
Not gonna work this time, A-dick-y. 'Cause she's a dick. Time for some reversicology.
Dani Applegate: It's reverse psych-
William: Shut up!
William laughs maliciously, bringing both of surprisingly small hands together to rub like a bond villain. He then slowly makes his way down to the floor and starts eating a breadcrumb, before crawling forward and eating the next one.
Dani Applegate: William, you don't have to eat the br-
William: SHUT UP!!!
The camera switches back to a thoroughly unimpressed Dani Applegate before the feed switches back to the ring.
She takes a deep breath, then walks around the corner, closer to the source of the noise.
Voice: ADDAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!
William the Behemoth lunges outward, constantly switching direction like he hasn't fully picked a direction for his rage. He eventually decides to begin aimlessly throwing around objects instead. Frisbeeing a folded chair down the corridor as most staff begin walking away, as if William is some drunk homeless person.
William attempts to barge his shoulder through a random door, which does nothing. He struggles for a second before going down onto his hands and knees and screaming:
William: ADDAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!
Beneath the bottom of the door.
Dani Applegate: William?
William turns his head lightning fast, like a startled (albeit oversized and overweight) meerkat. He grumbles before attempting to ride to his feet.
Dani Applegate: What are your thoughts on your partner Travis' run in the iCUP tournament? And how do you plan on getting your Hardcore title back from Add-?
William snatches the microphone. Having given up on rising back up, he simply shouts into the microphone from the floor.
William: All I care about it my RIGHTFUL, EARNED Hardcore Title!! Alright?! I'm the HardKing! You don't steal a King's crown, you don't steal any of his freaking clothes!! That mongoose Addy is gonna get what's coming to her mongoose fricking legs and mongoose-!! Fricking-!!! ARMS!!!
Fool me once? Shame on you.
Fool me twice?
No.
Not happening!!
I've got that midgety scent and I will not stop! I will not sleep! I will not even eat until I find Addy and get my Hardcore-! MLEH-!!
William yelps as another cardboard box, similar to the one from last week, flies out of nowhere and bounces off his head.
The camera turns to the direction the box had come from. No sign of any suspicious box thrower or malicious Hardcore Title thief.
The camera zooms back on William, who rises back to his feet and claws the box open, ripping out a note before taking the remnants of the box and kicking it down the hall.
He barely hits the box and it only flies a couple steps away but he's too annoyed to get even more annoyed. Hopefully.
He reads over the note in his hands. He reads over it again and his eyes widen in rage.
William: One of you chumps need to read this out for me! Not that I can't! I just- It's midget writing. Yeah. I don't want to read that!
Dani takes the note and begins to read it out.
Dani Applegate: "Hey, ya fatass. Ya ever read Hansel an' Gretel?
I'm not really a fan, and I'm fairly certain you're too dumb to read, but I think we should do a reenactment.
Ya want ya Hardcore Championship? Just follow the breadcrumbs.
With intense disgust, Addy."
William: Oh nice lack of dramatic reading there, midget. I'm barely even immersed now. Hey, when in the-!!
The camera turns to the left and suddenly there is a trail of breadcrumbs leading into the background. William walks forward, scratching the back of his head onc kicking the breadcrumbs to make sure they're real.
William: Ahhh... another game, huh? "Follow the uh... midget, stupid, dumbass, small, stupid leader" or something?
Not gonna work this time, A-dick-y. 'Cause she's a dick. Time for some reversicology.
Dani Applegate: It's reverse psych-
William: Shut up!
William laughs maliciously, bringing both of surprisingly small hands together to rub like a bond villain. He then slowly makes his way down to the floor and starts eating a breadcrumb, before crawling forward and eating the next one.
Dani Applegate: William, you don't have to eat the br-
William: SHUT UP!!!
The camera switches back to a thoroughly unimpressed Dani Applegate before the feed switches back to the ring.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Apokalypse VS Von Vagabond
Apokalypse VS Von Vagabond
The great and powerful Apokalypse is standing in the center of the ring, looking all tough and shit. As he prepares to beat the crap out of his opponent, the AlphaTron lights up and---
A bus pulls up to a bus stop just outside of the building and Von Vagabond walks down the steps with a knapsack on a stick over his shoulder. He takes a deep breath of Oklahoma City air from the sidewalk and the bus continues on its journey. When it's gone, a black van with no windows is on the other side. The door slides open and half a dozen masked men rush over to attack Vagabond. They put a bag over his head and drag him into the van, and then the van speeds away… leaving nothing behind but his knapsack on a stick.Clearwater: WHAT THE HELL?!
Remi: THOSE WERE THE SAME MEN WHO ABDUCTED SPARTAN AND VONN RICHTER!
Apokalypse is in the ring laughing and he yells at the ref to ring the bell. He reluctantly obliges, knowing what happens when Apokalypse gets angry.
Apokalypse: START COUNTING, ZEBRA!
The bell rings again.
Jessica Kaine:The winner of this… match… via count-out… APOKALYPSE!
:: EARLIER TODAY ::
Remi: THOSE WERE THE SAME MEN WHO ABDUCTED SPARTAN AND VONN RICHTER!
Apokalypse is in the ring laughing and he yells at the ref to ring the bell. He reluctantly obliges, knowing what happens when Apokalypse gets angry.
Apokalypse: START COUNTING, ZEBRA!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FOUR!
FIVE!
SIX!
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
NINE!
TEN!
The bell rings again.
Jessica Kaine:The winner of this… match… via count-out… APOKALYPSE!
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Liberty Lyon VS Daniel Christopher
Liberty Lyon VS Daniel Christopher
Our match begins with Lyon locking DC in a headlock and she starts laying on some right hands. DC reverses it and gets Lyon in a headlock. Lyon pushes him off the ropes ams she clotheslines him on the return, but it isn't enough to take him down. Instead he laughs it off. She hits the ropes and goes for a crossbody. He catches her and tosses her with a fallaway slam.
Clearwater: There's the cover!
ONE!
Clearwater: How did she kickout?!
Remi: It looked like he pulled her up. He's not done just yet.
DC brings Lyon to her feet and she surprises him with a stepup enziguri. DC staggers back and hits him with a double leg lariat, sending him back to the corner. She follows up by charging and leaping in the air for a splash… but DC moves out of the way. She lands on the top rope in the corner. DC hooks her up and delivers a lifting single underhook dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane out of the corner!
Remi: KHMER SHOT!
Clearwater: THERE'S THE COVER!
ONE!
The bell rings.
Jessica Kaine:Here is your winner… DANIEL CHRISTOPHER!
Clearwater: There's the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Clearwater: How did she kickout?!
Remi: It looked like he pulled her up. He's not done just yet.
DC brings Lyon to her feet and she surprises him with a stepup enziguri. DC staggers back and hits him with a double leg lariat, sending him back to the corner. She follows up by charging and leaping in the air for a splash… but DC moves out of the way. She lands on the top rope in the corner. DC hooks her up and delivers a lifting single underhook dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane out of the corner!
Remi: KHMER SHOT!
Clearwater: THERE'S THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings.
Jessica Kaine:Here is your winner… DANIEL CHRISTOPHER!
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Aaron Blaze VS Link Rexx
They lock up.
Link Rexx runs into the ropes.
Aaron Blaze hits Link Rexx with an elbow.
Aaron Blaze performs a bulldog against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze executes a powerbomb against Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Aaron Blaze attempts a shoulderblock to the midsection, but Link Rexx
counters it with a kneelift.
Link Rexx performs a headbutt against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx kicks Aaron Blaze.
A few fans are cheering on Link Rexx.
Link Rexx kicks Aaron Blaze.
Aaron Blaze kicks Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze chops Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a side suplex against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the ropes.
Link Rexx misses with a clothesline.
Aaron Blaze hits a kick to the midsection on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze uses a low blow on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a kick to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a double arm DDT against Link Rexx.
The crowd is cheering on Aaron Blaze.
Aaron Blaze executes a headbutt to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a swinging neckbreaker, but Link Rexx counters it with a side suplex.
Link Rexx performs a series of mounted punches against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx hits a running clothesline on Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx performs a clothesline against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx tries a flying kneedrop, but Aaron Blaze rolls out of the way.
Aaron Blaze tries a Death Valley Driver, but Link Rexx counters it with an elbowsmash.
Link Rexx performs a hair pull takedown against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx executes a bodyslam against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx executes a series of jabs against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx covers Aaron Blaze.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, kickout.
Link Rexx locks Aaron Blaze in a chokehold.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Link Rexx to let go.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, three, four, five.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Link Rexx.
Link Rexx runs into the ropes.
Aaron Blaze hits Link Rexx with an elbow.
Aaron Blaze performs a short clothesline against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a powerbomb, but Link Rexx blocks it.
Link Rexx uses a headbutt on Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx throws Aaron Blaze out of the ring.
Link Rexx goes through the ropes.
Link Rexx executes a low blow against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx gets back into the ring.
Aaron Blaze climbs back into the ring.
Link Rexx uses a swinging neckbreaker on Aaron Blaze.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Link Rexx.
Link Rexx tries a DDT, but Aaron Blaze throws him off.
Aaron Blaze hits a swinging neckbreaker on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze catches Link Rexx in a chokehold.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Aaron Blaze to let go.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, three, four.
Aaron Blaze executes a headbutt to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze uses a headbutt to the midsection on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze covers Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, kickout.
Aaron Blaze performs a Samoan Drop against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a kick to the midsection, but Link Rexx blocks it.
Link Rexx throws Aaron Blaze out of the ring.
Link Rexx goes for a flying elbowdrop, but Aaron Blaze moves out of the way.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a front slam.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze takes Link Rexx down with a DDT.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Link Rexx executes a hair pull takedown against Aaron Blaze.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a bulldog.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 1.
Aaron Blaze runs Link Rexx into the ringpost.
Aaron Blaze is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Aaron Blaze executes a bodyslam against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the ringpost.
Aaron Blaze hits a punch on Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 2.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a bulldog.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the ringsteps.
Aaron Blaze takes Link Rexx down with a double arm DDT.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 3.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze uses a front slam on Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 4.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 5.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 6.
Link Rexx sets up a table.
Link Rexx sets up Aaron Blaze on the table.
Link Rexx tries to drive Aaron Blaze through the table with a DDT, but he
blocks it.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 7.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 8.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 9.
Aaron Blaze knocks Link Rexx into the ringsteps.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 10.
The verdict: A DOUBLE COUNTOUT!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Link Rexx runs into the ropes.
Aaron Blaze hits Link Rexx with an elbow.
Aaron Blaze performs a bulldog against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze executes a powerbomb against Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Aaron Blaze attempts a shoulderblock to the midsection, but Link Rexx
counters it with a kneelift.
Link Rexx performs a headbutt against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx kicks Aaron Blaze.
A few fans are cheering on Link Rexx.
Link Rexx kicks Aaron Blaze.
Aaron Blaze kicks Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze chops Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a side suplex against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the ropes.
Link Rexx misses with a clothesline.
Aaron Blaze hits a kick to the midsection on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze uses a low blow on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a kick to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze performs a double arm DDT against Link Rexx.
The crowd is cheering on Aaron Blaze.
Aaron Blaze executes a headbutt to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a swinging neckbreaker, but Link Rexx counters it with a side suplex.
Link Rexx performs a series of mounted punches against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx hits a running clothesline on Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx performs a clothesline against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx tries a flying kneedrop, but Aaron Blaze rolls out of the way.
Aaron Blaze tries a Death Valley Driver, but Link Rexx counters it with an elbowsmash.
Link Rexx performs a hair pull takedown against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx executes a bodyslam against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx executes a series of jabs against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx covers Aaron Blaze.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, kickout.
Link Rexx locks Aaron Blaze in a chokehold.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Link Rexx to let go.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, three, four, five.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Link Rexx.
Link Rexx runs into the ropes.
Aaron Blaze hits Link Rexx with an elbow.
Aaron Blaze performs a short clothesline against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a powerbomb, but Link Rexx blocks it.
Link Rexx uses a headbutt on Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx throws Aaron Blaze out of the ring.
Link Rexx goes through the ropes.
Link Rexx executes a low blow against Aaron Blaze.
Link Rexx gets back into the ring.
Aaron Blaze climbs back into the ring.
Link Rexx uses a swinging neckbreaker on Aaron Blaze.
You can hear a few scattered fans cheering for Link Rexx.
Link Rexx tries a DDT, but Aaron Blaze throws him off.
Aaron Blaze hits a swinging neckbreaker on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze catches Link Rexx in a chokehold.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy warns Aaron Blaze to let go.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, two, three, four.
Aaron Blaze executes a headbutt to the midsection against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze uses a headbutt to the midsection on Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze covers Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: One, kickout.
Aaron Blaze performs a Samoan Drop against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze tries a kick to the midsection, but Link Rexx blocks it.
Link Rexx throws Aaron Blaze out of the ring.
Link Rexx goes for a flying elbowdrop, but Aaron Blaze moves out of the way.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a front slam.
Aaron Blaze whips Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze takes Link Rexx down with a DDT.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Link Rexx executes a hair pull takedown against Aaron Blaze.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a bulldog.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 1.
Aaron Blaze runs Link Rexx into the ringpost.
Aaron Blaze is getting a good reaction from the crowd.
Aaron Blaze executes a bodyslam against Link Rexx.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the ringpost.
Aaron Blaze hits a punch on Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 2.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze nails Link Rexx with a bulldog.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the ringsteps.
Aaron Blaze takes Link Rexx down with a double arm DDT.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 3.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Aaron Blaze uses a front slam on Link Rexx.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 4.
Aaron Blaze throws Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 5.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 6.
Link Rexx sets up a table.
Link Rexx sets up Aaron Blaze on the table.
Link Rexx tries to drive Aaron Blaze through the table with a DDT, but he
blocks it.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 7.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 8.
Aaron Blaze shoves Link Rexx into the guardrail.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 9.
Aaron Blaze knocks Link Rexx into the ringsteps.
Spanky O'Shaughnessy counts: 10.
The verdict: A DOUBLE COUNTOUT!
HARDCORE INTERMISSION
William the Behemoth is muttering unintelligibly to himself as he crawls along the hallway of the arena. His is following the trails of breadcrumbs in a desperate search for the Alpha Pro Wrestling Hardcore Title, which was stolen from him by the Hardcore Harlot, Adelaide Ainsworth. He eats each breadcrumb he picks up, sobbing loudly like an upset toddler as he does.
William: Midget better not of done midgety evil witch things to you my hardcore title.
William crawls around the corner and out of site, at the exact same moment Addy A walks into shot with the APW Hardcore Title strapped around her waist, cackling to herself. She is most pleased with herself for the horrible games she is inflicting upon the dimwitted Behemoth, William.
William: Midget better not of done midgety evil witch things to you my hardcore title.
William crawls around the corner and out of site, at the exact same moment Addy A walks into shot with the APW Hardcore Title strapped around her waist, cackling to herself. She is most pleased with herself for the horrible games she is inflicting upon the dimwitted Behemoth, William.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Brother Zeke VS Andrew Barnes
Brother Zeke VS Andrew Barnes
Brother Zeke is already standing in the ring because he forgot he was booked this week lol
"Demonheart" starts and Andrew Barnes walks out from the back in a white jacket, with "A Cut Above the Rest" on the back in gold lettering; he stops near the entrance and flashes a smile towards the crowd. Andrew makes his way down to the fans, high-fiving anyone with their hands out until he finally makes it to the ring. A very modest entrance as Andrew has no need to pose, he stands in the corner and takes his jacket off, watching his opponent across the ring.
Barnes steps to the middle of the ring and Zeke approaches him with a pamphlet for his Lord and Savior. Barnes takes it and looks it over, then crumples it up and throws it in Zeke's face. The bell rings and Barnes starts off hot with a surprise clothesline. Zeke slowly gets up and he eats a big boot from Barnes, who then hits the ropes and lands on Zeke with a mighty legdrop. Barnes goes for the cover.
ONE!
Remi: Come on, brother! That was a finisher for decades, dude! Nobody kicks out of that, jack!
Clearwater: Ease, Jonah. You're going to work yourself into a shoot.
Barnes pulls Zeke up. Zeke shoots behind and delivers an Eastern German Suplex, that has no effect on Barnes!
Remi: BARNES IS UP!
Barnes shakes his fists as Zeke turns around. Zeke runs at Barnes and gets turned inside out with a clothesline from heck.
Clearwater: MENDACIUM!
Remi: AND A COVER!
ONE!
The bell sounds.
Jessica Kaine:Here is your winner… ANDREW BARNESSSSSSSS!!!!1
Barnes raises his arms and his music plays. Suddenly an old man tries climbing over the guardrail.
Clearwater: IT'S JOHNNY LEGEND!
Security stops him and keeps him back as Barnes sighs...
A CUT ABOVE THE REST
Barnes steps to the middle of the ring and Zeke approaches him with a pamphlet for his Lord and Savior. Barnes takes it and looks it over, then crumples it up and throws it in Zeke's face. The bell rings and Barnes starts off hot with a surprise clothesline. Zeke slowly gets up and he eats a big boot from Barnes, who then hits the ropes and lands on Zeke with a mighty legdrop. Barnes goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Remi: Come on, brother! That was a finisher for decades, dude! Nobody kicks out of that, jack!
Clearwater: Ease, Jonah. You're going to work yourself into a shoot.
Barnes pulls Zeke up. Zeke shoots behind and delivers an Eastern German Suplex, that has no effect on Barnes!
Remi: BARNES IS UP!
Barnes shakes his fists as Zeke turns around. Zeke runs at Barnes and gets turned inside out with a clothesline from heck.
Clearwater: MENDACIUM!
Remi: AND A COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell sounds.
Jessica Kaine:Here is your winner… ANDREW BARNESSSSSSSS!!!!1
Barnes raises his arms and his music plays. Suddenly an old man tries climbing over the guardrail.
Clearwater: IT'S JOHNNY LEGEND!
Security stops him and keeps him back as Barnes sighs...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
:: iCUP TOURNAMENT MATCH ::
Madwoman Szalinski VS ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎
Madwoman Szalinski is already in the ring waiting for her opponent.
Static flares out of the PA System and as the fans collectively cover their ears, Travis walks out onto the stage.
Not bothering to even look at the crowd, nor make any kind of gesture or any motion that indicate he's not an actual robot, he simply walks to the steps and gets into the ring.
Jessica Kaine:From Parts Unknown, Standing at 7 foot tall! Travis!
He walks to the centre and looks directly at the crowd, the perfect time and position to raise his arms in superiority or rudely shout at the audience. But he doesn't.
He just stares for about 20 seconds, before walking into his corner.
Remi: This guy freaks me out.
Clearwater: Why?
Remi: Something about him seems off... Doesn't it?
Clearwater: Remi.. This is APW.. Just be happy we have any body in that ring. Man or robot.
Travis stares at Madwoman. Madwoman stretches a bit in her corner until the ref calls for the bell to start the match. Madwoman takes her time, trying to get Travis to strike first as she circles around him. Travis swats at Madwoman, who dodges all of them by ducking and weaving around Travis.
Clearwater: Madwoman playing mind games with Travis. Trying to find his weakness.
Remi: What a dingus. Everyone knows not to play games with a robot. Haven't she seen that Matthew Broderick movie?
Travis finally grabs hold of Madwoman and tosses her to the corner. Travis walks over to Madwoman Szalinski, but Madwoman rolls out of the corner and past Travis. Madwoman jumps and wraps her arms around Travis' neck, as Travis continues to stand there.
Remi: Is that even affecting him?
Clearwater: Madwoman Szalinski trying her best to choke out Travis, but Travis is having none of it!
Travis grabs Madwoman by the head and chucks her to the ground. Madwoman rolls away and gets to her knees.
Clearwater: Madwoman is not out of it yet.
Madwoman Szalinski gets to her feet and runs over to Travis, but is met with a big boot by Travis.
Clearwater: OHHHH! TRAVIS WITH THE BIG BOOT!
Travis grabs hold of Madwoman by the neck and lifts her back up to her feet.
Remi: This doesn't look good for Szalinski!
Travis lifts Madwoman up with both hands by the neck and drives her down with the Travis Finisher!
Clearwater: THE TRAVIS FINISHER! IT'S OVER!
Travis covers.
ONE!
Jessica Kaine:THE WINNER OF THE MATCH.... TRAVIS!
Static flares out of the PA System and as the fans collectively cover their ears, Travis walks out onto the stage.
Not bothering to even look at the crowd, nor make any kind of gesture or any motion that indicate he's not an actual robot, he simply walks to the steps and gets into the ring.
Jessica Kaine:From Parts Unknown, Standing at 7 foot tall! Travis!
He walks to the centre and looks directly at the crowd, the perfect time and position to raise his arms in superiority or rudely shout at the audience. But he doesn't.
He just stares for about 20 seconds, before walking into his corner.
Remi: This guy freaks me out.
Clearwater: Why?
Remi: Something about him seems off... Doesn't it?
Clearwater: Remi.. This is APW.. Just be happy we have any body in that ring. Man or robot.
Travis stares at Madwoman. Madwoman stretches a bit in her corner until the ref calls for the bell to start the match. Madwoman takes her time, trying to get Travis to strike first as she circles around him. Travis swats at Madwoman, who dodges all of them by ducking and weaving around Travis.
Clearwater: Madwoman playing mind games with Travis. Trying to find his weakness.
Remi: What a dingus. Everyone knows not to play games with a robot. Haven't she seen that Matthew Broderick movie?
Travis finally grabs hold of Madwoman and tosses her to the corner. Travis walks over to Madwoman Szalinski, but Madwoman rolls out of the corner and past Travis. Madwoman jumps and wraps her arms around Travis' neck, as Travis continues to stand there.
Remi: Is that even affecting him?
Clearwater: Madwoman Szalinski trying her best to choke out Travis, but Travis is having none of it!
Travis grabs Madwoman by the head and chucks her to the ground. Madwoman rolls away and gets to her knees.
Clearwater: Madwoman is not out of it yet.
Madwoman Szalinski gets to her feet and runs over to Travis, but is met with a big boot by Travis.
Clearwater: OHHHH! TRAVIS WITH THE BIG BOOT!
Travis grabs hold of Madwoman by the neck and lifts her back up to her feet.
Remi: This doesn't look good for Szalinski!
Travis lifts Madwoman up with both hands by the neck and drives her down with the Travis Finisher!
Clearwater: THE TRAVIS FINISHER! IT'S OVER!
Travis covers.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Jessica Kaine:THE WINNER OF THE MATCH.... TRAVIS!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
iCUP ANNOUNCEMENT
iCUP ANNOUNCEMENT
We head backstage where Dani Applegate is standing next to the APW Internet Cup, that will be awarded to the winner of this unique tournament at World War Wrestling.
Dani Applegate: Congratulations to Travis of Very Big Supervillains for his decisive victory over Madwoman Szalinski. He moves on to the final round at World War Wrestling on September 28 in Orlando, Florida. He will be facing the winner of next week's match between Ariel Shadows and Max Ironside that---
She stops mid-sentence as she is handed a sheet of paper. She reads over it and scoffs.
Dani Applegate: Seriously? You couldn't give me this before we went live?
She crumples up the paper and tosses it aside.
Dani Applegate: Okay… well… due to a scheduling conflict… their match will be taking place at World War Wrestling… and it will be a triple threat match… including Travis… and Madwoman Szalinski is the special guest referee!
She sighs and walks off set.
Dani Applegate: Who books this shit?!
The scene fades back to the ringside area.
Dani Applegate: Congratulations to Travis of Very Big Supervillains for his decisive victory over Madwoman Szalinski. He moves on to the final round at World War Wrestling on September 28 in Orlando, Florida. He will be facing the winner of next week's match between Ariel Shadows and Max Ironside that---
She stops mid-sentence as she is handed a sheet of paper. She reads over it and scoffs.
Dani Applegate: Seriously? You couldn't give me this before we went live?
She crumples up the paper and tosses it aside.
Dani Applegate: Okay… well… due to a scheduling conflict… their match will be taking place at World War Wrestling… and it will be a triple threat match… including Travis… and Madwoman Szalinski is the special guest referee!
She sighs and walks off set.
Dani Applegate: Who books this shit?!
The scene fades back to the ringside area.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Alex Scott VS Renaissance Taylor VS Ricky Schorg VS Sara Cross
Alex Scott VS Renaissance Taylor VS Ricky Schorg VS Sara Cross
Clearwater: Whoa! Where'd they come from?!
Alex Scott, Ricky Schorg and Sara Cross are already in the ring as the throaty moan of an overly distorted guitar roars as ‘Royal Jelly’ by Deap Vally hits the speakers. The arena is dark as the music continues to play - ones the guitar and drums reach the height of their crescendo, spotlights hit the entrance as Renaissance Taylor steps out. She stands, momentarily, as the lead singer belts out the chorus:
The spotlight follows Renaissance as she makes her way down the ring ramp, ignoring the fans except for a few here and there, which she only affords a disdainful glance. As she makes it to the bottom of the ring ramp, she once again pauses.
Now the lights come up to find her making her way up the steps to the ring. She walks the ring apron towards the middle before gracefully entering the ring. She goes to the middle of the ring, still ignoring the fans and tilts her head back, absorbing the lights above her, before lowering a cold glare to no one in particular. As the music dies, she moves to her corner.
Remi: Hell of an entrance!
Her three opponents are lined up, side by side by side.
Clearwater: The only way to someone to get added to the Junior Heavyweight Championship match at World War Wrestling is to defeat Renaissance Taylor. It makes sense that the ring looks the way it does.
Ren steps up to the three of them, showing no fear. Sara steps at her and gets a jumping knee strike from Ren.
Remi: ZERO IN!
Sara falls to the mat and rolls to the side. Alex runs right into a reverse roundhouse kick.
Clearwater: USHIRO MAWASHI GERI!
Remi: Your what hurts?!
Alex falls to the mat. Ricky shows more restraint and he baits Ren. She charges at him as he backs up to the ropes, then back body drops her over and to the arena floor.
Clearwater: Ricky Schorg just outsmarted Renaissance Taylor!
Ricky shows remorse as he looks down at Ren, then he gets jumped from behind by Alex. Alex turns him around and lights him up with chops, then whips him across the ring. Alex charges in and goes for a spinning heel kick but Ricky evades it and Alex crashes to the mat, then slides out of the ring from the momentum. Alex slowly gets to his feet and grabs onto the ring, then pulls Sara up next to him. Ricky baseballs slide kicks them back. He runs to the opposite side of the ring and hits the ropes, then suicide dives between the ropes, colliding with Alex and Sara... and all of them smash into the guardrail.
Ricky is the first to stand up and the fans pop for him. He pulls Sara and Alex up, just as Ren soars through the air between the ropes with a suicide dive. Ricky jolts out of the way, allowing Ren to only collide with Sara and Alex. Ren gets to her feet and backs into Ricky. She turns around and the two engage in fistacuffs. Ren catches him with a spinning back fist that rocks him back a bit. She runs at him and he catches her with an exploder suplex into the ring steps. The referee hurries over to check on her as Ricky gets to his feet. Again he shows remorse, but focuses his attention on the match at hand as he rolls Sara into the ring, and then Alex.
Ricky pulls Sara up and whips her into the corner, then follows up with a high knee strike. He sets her up on the top and climbs the ropes, hooking her for a suplex. Before he can go for it, Alex clubs his back. Alex hooks underneath for a powerbomb and he sends Ricky crashing to the mat as Ricky sends Sara crashing to the mat.
Marks: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Alex is the first to his feet, but just barely. The move still took a lot out of him. Alex looks around at the carnage and he decides to pull Ricky up. Ricky breaks free and delivers an Ice Pick Piledriver to Alex. Ricky covers Alex.
ONE!
Remi: CAAAAAANNONADE!!!!!!1
Clearwater: THERE'S THE COVER!
ONE!
Alex Scott, Ricky Schorg and Sara Cross are already in the ring as the throaty moan of an overly distorted guitar roars as ‘Royal Jelly’ by Deap Vally hits the speakers. The arena is dark as the music continues to play - ones the guitar and drums reach the height of their crescendo, spotlights hit the entrance as Renaissance Taylor steps out. She stands, momentarily, as the lead singer belts out the chorus:
♬ If you wanna be Queen Bee
Then you better make honey
If you wanna be Miss Thing
Then you better start hustling ♬
♬ Honey, so sweet, so sweet
Honey, so sweet, so sweet ♬
Now the lights come up to find her making her way up the steps to the ring. She walks the ring apron towards the middle before gracefully entering the ring. She goes to the middle of the ring, still ignoring the fans and tilts her head back, absorbing the lights above her, before lowering a cold glare to no one in particular. As the music dies, she moves to her corner.
Remi: Hell of an entrance!
Her three opponents are lined up, side by side by side.
Clearwater: The only way to someone to get added to the Junior Heavyweight Championship match at World War Wrestling is to defeat Renaissance Taylor. It makes sense that the ring looks the way it does.
Ren steps up to the three of them, showing no fear. Sara steps at her and gets a jumping knee strike from Ren.
Remi: ZERO IN!
Sara falls to the mat and rolls to the side. Alex runs right into a reverse roundhouse kick.
Clearwater: USHIRO MAWASHI GERI!
Remi: Your what hurts?!
Alex falls to the mat. Ricky shows more restraint and he baits Ren. She charges at him as he backs up to the ropes, then back body drops her over and to the arena floor.
Clearwater: Ricky Schorg just outsmarted Renaissance Taylor!
Ricky shows remorse as he looks down at Ren, then he gets jumped from behind by Alex. Alex turns him around and lights him up with chops, then whips him across the ring. Alex charges in and goes for a spinning heel kick but Ricky evades it and Alex crashes to the mat, then slides out of the ring from the momentum. Alex slowly gets to his feet and grabs onto the ring, then pulls Sara up next to him. Ricky baseballs slide kicks them back. He runs to the opposite side of the ring and hits the ropes, then suicide dives between the ropes, colliding with Alex and Sara... and all of them smash into the guardrail.
Ricky is the first to stand up and the fans pop for him. He pulls Sara and Alex up, just as Ren soars through the air between the ropes with a suicide dive. Ricky jolts out of the way, allowing Ren to only collide with Sara and Alex. Ren gets to her feet and backs into Ricky. She turns around and the two engage in fistacuffs. Ren catches him with a spinning back fist that rocks him back a bit. She runs at him and he catches her with an exploder suplex into the ring steps. The referee hurries over to check on her as Ricky gets to his feet. Again he shows remorse, but focuses his attention on the match at hand as he rolls Sara into the ring, and then Alex.
Ricky pulls Sara up and whips her into the corner, then follows up with a high knee strike. He sets her up on the top and climbs the ropes, hooking her for a suplex. Before he can go for it, Alex clubs his back. Alex hooks underneath for a powerbomb and he sends Ricky crashing to the mat as Ricky sends Sara crashing to the mat.
Marks: HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!
Alex is the first to his feet, but just barely. The move still took a lot out of him. Alex looks around at the carnage and he decides to pull Ricky up. Ricky breaks free and delivers an Ice Pick Piledriver to Alex. Ricky covers Alex.
ONE!
TWO!
THR-NOOOOO!!!!
Clearwater: RENAISSANCE TAYLOR JUST DOUBLE STOMPED RICKY SCHORG!
Indeed she did. While we were distracted by the action in the ring, Ren climbed the ropes in the corner and stopped this match from being over with. Now she's the last one standing. She turns around to see Sara slowly pushing up... and she nails Sara with a wind up whiplash bicycle kick.
Remi: CAAAAAANNONADE!!!!!!1
Clearwater: THERE'S THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell sounds.
Remi: Renaissance Taylor is the sole contender for Giggles at World War Wrestling!
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match... RENAISS---
The lights go out and the AlphaTron slowly lights up.
The scene fades.
Jessica Kaine: The winner of this match... RENAISS---
The lights go out and the AlphaTron slowly lights up.
R E N A I S S A N C E T A Y L O R . . .
WELCOME...
WELCOME...
TO THE...
FREAKSHOW!
The scene fades.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Action Wrestling Monday Night Clash
Adilene Floyd: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Marks: ONE FALL!
Adilene Floyd: And it is for the Alpha Pro Wrestling Tag Team Championship!
Chris Avery: Huh? The what?!
Billy: Yep. This here is a crossover episode. Clash… CruiserClash… APWMetal.com… ALL IN ONE PLACE!
Chris Avery: Ugh.
The lights go out. Fog fills the stage as a badass rock version of "Zombie" by The Cranberries starts up and the fans go bonkers.
♬ Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken
And the violence, caused such silence
Who are we mistaken? ♬
It warps into "Save Me" by Skillet at the 0:50 mark as the lights strobe to the music.
♬ HELP ME TONIGHT! ♬
Sara Pettis runs out onto the stage as Derrick Vayden takes his time following behind. The fans' fucking heads explode.
Adilene Floyd: Introducing first… the challengers… at a combined weight of three hundred and thirty-six pounds… Derrick Vayden and Sara Pettis…
Marks: FUCK! THE! HANGMEN!
They head down the ramp. Sara slaps as many hands as possible while Derrick gives a few knucks to the most badass fans along the way. Sara wastes no time and she slides into the ring. Derrick slides under the bottom rope and scans the arena before rising up to his knees in the center of the ring. He slowly pulls the hood down and quickly rips off the mask as the lights return to normal. He poses with his arms out wide while Sara does the same behind him. The music dies down and he stands up, turning to high five his energetic pardner.
Chris Avery: Vayden was a loser when he teamed with Raging Dead. How is this going to be any different?
Billy: Come on, pal! Have a heart!
Chris Avery: The guy was consistently average and yet still underwhelming. Move on already.
Derrick unstraps the AW Hardcore Championship from his waist and he hands it off to the referee for safe keeping.
Adilene Floyd: And their opponents…
♬ I RAGE 25/8!
All your base are belong to Gust!
They will topple and crumble and turn to dust!
Nathan Gust is the rage burning furious 25/8! ♬
The fans lose their shit with how much they hate hearing "Rage 25/8" by Z Mann Zilla because it now unfortunately means that those assholes The Hangmen are coming out.
Adilene Floyd: At a combined weight of four hundred and eighty-nine pounds… they are the Alpha Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions… THE HAAAAAAAAANGMEN!
Shooter and Noose storm out from backstage with the gold over their shoulders. A select group of fans wearing Raging Dead merchandise has to be tackled by security to keep them from murdering The Hangmen.
Billy: Where'sat nogood Frank Lowe at?
Chris Avery: Shooter and Noose can take care of s couple of indy jobbers without their boss present.
The APW Tag Team Champions proudly march down the ramp as trash is hurled at them. Noose catches a cheeseburger and eats it, giving a nod to the crowd for the free meal.
Billy: That's disgusting!
Chris Avery: You've eaten worse!
Once they reach the ring, they climb up onto the apron and step between the ropes, then they hold the titles up high. Before they reach the center of the ring--
Billy: SHITFIRE!
Chris Avery: JOURNEY TO NOWHERE TO NOOSE!
Billy: SUPERKICK TO SHOOTER!
Noose hits the mat. Shooter gets rocked back to the corner. The opening bell sounds. Sara runs in and tries to decapitate Shooter with a stiffasfuck dropkick to the jaw. He stumbles out and Derrick scoops him up in a fireman's carry as Sara climbs up the ropes in the corner. They give each other a nod and Sara soars in the air, double stomping Shooter's back before Derrick plants him with a death valley driver.
Chris Avery: WHAT A MANEUVER!
Billy: THERE'S THE PIN!
ONE!
TWO!
THR-WHAAAATTT??!!?1
Chris Avery: FRANK LOWE IS HERE!
Just before the three, Frank made the save by dragging Sara off of Shooter. She crashed to the floor of the arena. Frank is now in the ring with a lead pipe, staring down Derrick. The referee has wisely stepped back because he knows what's coming.
Billy: FRANKIE GONNA GET GOT!
Chris Avery: LOWE CHARGES VAYDEN! VAYDEN DUCKS THE LEAD PIPE!
Billy: SHITFIRE! FRANKIE JUST WHACKED NOOSE CROSS THE HEAD THAT THERE PIPE!
Chris Avery: I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM STANDING BEHIND VAYDEN!
Frank drops the pipe, realizing the grave mistake he just made. Derrick turns him around and drives his leg between Frank's, completely obliterating his reproductive organs. Frank collapses into the fetal position and Derrick covers Noose with a smile.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell sounds and "Save Me" by Skillet blasts throughout the arena as Sara rolls back into the ring.
Adilene Floyd: Here are your winners… and NNEEEEEWWWWWWW Alpha Pro Wrestling Tag Team Champions… Derrick Vayden and Sara Pettis…
Marks: FUCK! THE! HANGMEN!
They are handed the titles as Frank Lowe rolls to safety on the outside of the ring. He musters up the strength to escape up the ramp, leaving Shooter and Noose behind.
Chris Avery: How was that legal?! The Hangmen shoulda won by disqualification!
Billy: The ref's word is law, pal. Maybe he's just sick of The Hangmen and all their shit. That is Eddie Silk from APW, by the way.
Chris Avery: Never heard of him.
Billy: Pretty damn cool that Derrick got one up on dirty ol' Frankie right before their cage match at Execution.
Sara and Derrick hug in the middle of the ring as we head to a commercial break.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
:: U.S. OPEN CHALLENGE ::
John|Blade VS Adam Young
Jessica Kaine:The following match is a U.S. Open Challenge!
Marks: YYYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!
Jessica Kaine:Introducing first… from Boston, Massachusetts… weighing in at two hundred and fifty one pounds… The Doctor of Thuganomicks… JOOOOOOOOOHHHNNNNN BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!~!
John Blade walks out on stage. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He talks to the camera man and bounces a little. He holds up his “Never Give Up” logo flag and tosses it to the fans. He salutes and runs straight down towards the ring.
Clearwarer: BIG MATCH JOHN IS HERE!
Remi: Ugh…
He bounces off the ropes side to side and he holds up his “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect” shirt. He takes off his hat and tosses his shirt to the fans and hands his chain to the ref.
Clearwater: I can't believe his opponent is Adam Young!
"Notorious" by Adelitas Way plays and '1 Sick Bastard' Adam Young walks out from backstage.
Jessica Kaine:And his opponent… from Abilene, Texas… former WCF People's Champion… ADAM YOUNG!
He proudly walks to the ring while the fans mercilessly boo him and throw trash at him.
Remi: HOW DARE THEY! THIS MAN IS THEIR CHAMPION!
He gets in the ring and immediately goes for Blade. The bell rings. Blade ducks a clothesline and he hits the ropes. Blade takes him down with a flying shoulderblock, then a sitout hip toss, then a side-release spinout powerbomb. The fans go wild as Blade hits the ropes and connects with a fist drop.
Clearwater: FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE!
Remi: Ugh…
Young pops to his feet after the fist drop and he gets scooped up onto Blade's shoulders.
John|Blade: YOU CAN'T SEE ME!
He emphatically slams Young on the mat and goes for the cover.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
The bell rings.
Jessica Kaine:The winner of this match… JOOOOOOOOOHHHNNNNN BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!~!
Clearwater: HE'S DONE IT! JOHN BLADE HAS WON THE U.S. OPEN CHALLENGE!
Remi: Ugh…
His music plays and he celebrates with the people.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
America Jackson* VS Jason Ryan
"Dear Lord, the battles we go through life,
We ask for a chance that's fair,
A chance to equal our stride,
A chance to do or dare,
If we should win, let it be by the code,
Faith and Honor held high,
If we should lose, we'll stand by the road,
And cheer as the winners go by.
Day by Day, we get better and better!
The team that can't be beat, WON'T BE BEAT!"
"Skeleton Key" by Calisus starts up at 0:40 and Jason Ryan slowly walks out onto the stage. He walks gingerly to the ring, still showing signs of the attack from the previous week.
Clearwater: Jason Ryan still hurting after the assault by the Octopus last week. Will he be able to compete at his best against someone who has proven unbeatable to date?
Remi: Ryan’s given out plenty of cheap shots in his life. If he can’t take one, he shouldn’t have dished em out either!
The lights dim and the sounds of American Trash by InnerPartySystem ring through the arena. Flashing neon lights give way to flashes of red, white, and blue as the American flag beats against the darkness.
I’ve got this planet in my hands.
I’ll try to save it if I can.
I’m satisfied with myself.
Don’t care for anyone else.
I’m so united when I stand.
America Jackson appears at the top of the entrance ramp, a title in each hand with arms spread wide but otherwise unmoving.
I get my facts from the TV.
Believe in everything I read.
It’s such an ignorant bliss.
When the whole fucking world wants to be like me.
America pulls the titles to his shoulders and starts walking to the ring, picking up his pace as the beat goes.
Cause I…
America slides into the ring and lets out a yell, twin titles held high as the beat drops.
I’m just American trash.
Stupid American trash.
I’m just American.
The song abruptly cuts, leaving the American World Champion facing down his challenger. The match starts with America taking it to the mat. Ryan is game, but the combination of Jackson’s specialized experience and Ryan’s injured ribs meant that he struggled to stay in it early on, barely slipping out of tight pin attempts. Jackson was determined to show off, giving Ryan a window to slip out and create some distance. He threw elbows alternated with low kicks to pick away at America’s knee. It wasn’t enough to seriously hamper the champion, but it created enough of an opening for Ryan to start throwing bombs.
He managed to rock America with a few big strikes and a high angle German Suplex. However, when he hit the Lethal Injection, the shock to his hurt ribs left him lingering too long and allowed the champion to recover. America wrecked him with a series of massive overhead suplexes, throwing him around the ring and beating on those injured ribs even further. Ryan looked to be in dire straights, but again America didn’t move to finish and Ryan was able to fire off a Silencer!
The pain from the impact left him crawling slowly toward the pin. Finally he draped one arm over America, but with the delay the champion was barely able to kick out. Exhausted, Ryan let out a yell of frustration, but dragged him back up. He tried to lift him for the PTFO but his ribs gave out as he was positioning the Gory Special and he dropped the champ. America still seemed dazed so Ryan went for another Silencer instead but this time America countered, dropping him hard on his injured ribs! This time, the champ went right in and hit America First! Ryan was dropped right onto the injured ribs! America covered…
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Ryan barely kicked out! That was all the fight he had left in him though. Wheezing with the pain of injured ribs, Ryan had nothing left to fight with as America clutched his waist and sank in a torture crab. The former champion tried to fight, but as his back arched at a brutal angle, the pain on the injured ribs was too much and he was forced to submit!
Remi: That was SICK!
Clearwater: Jason Ryan gave it all that he had in an absolutely gutsy performance, but those hurt ribs were just too much.
Remi: Even with good ribs, America would have damn near snapped him in half!
The champ raises his titles in the air, looking worse for wear after a tough defense. Still, he wipes his boots off on the mat as though to signify he’s done with this one and holds up both titles.
Clearwater: Clearly America isn’t just a flash in the pan, but will he be able to defend both titles at World War Wrestling?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
HARDCORE CLOSING
William, still crying, his knees raw from crawling around the whole show on his hands and knees looking for the hardcore title, stolen by the thankfully unique, Adelaide Ainsworth. He keeps picking up the breadcrumbs while sobbing when he comes to the last breadcrumb. He sits up, confused, befuddled and at a complete loss about what to do next. He sees that directly in front of him is a cage, a clear trap. Inside the cage appears to the be the Alpha Pro Wrestling Hardcore Title. He lets out a shriek akin to the noise a pig makes when you are squeezing its testicles to the point of explosion or something like that. It was strange and very fucking scary. It would give you nightmares, more nightmares than if you caught your wife sleeping with you fath... no her father.
Just imagine it as a very fucking scary noise. Kay. Thanks.
William jumps to his feet and tries to reach the belt inside the cage, but can't figure out how to get it done. Eventually after much trying he crawls inside the cage and picks up the belt, realizing that it has been torn in half. He makes that same shriek, and several members of the crowd passed out, bleeding from their ears, probably oozing grey matter too.
Adelaide Ainsworth runs up behind William the Behemoth, kicking him the back to jam him into the cage. She closes the trap door, all of his flabby bits are squeezing out the sides and bars but he can't mouth. Addy walks around to the front of him and shows him the the real hardcore title. He makes strange rabid animal noises, presumably replicating anger. Addy laughs like the evil bitch she is.
William: Gimme that!
Addy A: What're ya gonna do, fatty. Eat Me?
William: ...yes!
Addy A: Like fuck ya are.
William: Shutup Midget. Stupid dumbass.
Addy A: Ya tha fuckin' dumbass, stuck in a box.
William: ARGHGILGAMESHMCDONALDSPOKEMON!!
Addy A: What?
William: ARGHGILGAMESHMCDONALDSPOKEMON!!
Addy A: Yeh. Ain't got me a fuckin' clue what tha hell ya talkin' 'bout ya fat cunt. But he's tha thing, I got me a piggy in a cage, gonna take ya ta tha markets.
Adelaide removes the belt from her waist and smashes it into William, whose face is pressed against the bars. The blow knocks him out. She produces an apple as if by magic, filling his giant mouth with it. Waving her hands, a stage hand on a forklift starts pushing the caged animal out of the building, the motor strains, exerting huge amounts of torque to move the massive weight.
©XXXX Alpha Media Productions
