Post by The Very Big Supervillains on Sept 5, 2020 16:16:00 GMT -5
"Hello... is this Domino Pizza?
...
...
McDonalds?
Why the fuck does McDonald's even have a phone, you don't deliver!!
...
I wasn-
I WASN'T YELLING!!! GET OFF MY BACK!!"
William screams into the Nokia next to his bandage riddled face. Him and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ are currently holed up in an abandoned factory, around about the eastern Arizona area.
He'd patched up quite nicely, but he'd used ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s mummified robes as bandages so how his entire face was covered in all too large pieces of cloth.
He only had two major injuries, to his nose mainly. It was the only one ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ had...
Well, no point sugar coating it.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ had gone into his match against William expecting them both to go a little light with one another.
William had been knocked out, suffered a broken nose and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ got assaulted by a referee and hit with a cannon.
Obviously, they're in pain. Especially when William had fallen down 4 separate flights of stairs when chasing after his Hardcore Title. The one that Addy Ainsworth had stolen.
William was still a little furious about the "betrayal" which was fair. ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ thought that William would forgive him eventually though. That or try to hit him with a microwave. Whatever comes first.
Now their search for that woman had momentarily stopped.
William had initially wanted to search her Home Town.
When asking a random homeless guy (he searched it up but couldn't read) he misheard "Nevada" as "Nirvana".
After going to several fan groups related to the rock group, William got pissed and decided to go "CIA mode" in regards to searching.
Which.. changed nothing.
And now they're outside a Buddhist temple.
"...
...
So can I-?
Shut up!
Can I order?
...
...
Yeah but I didn't ring fricking UberEats I RUNG FRICKING DOMINO PIZZA!!! ALRIGHT?!"
William roars into his tiny brick of a phone, slamming the Nokia into the walls beside hum and stamping on it for good measure.
William had bought it for the soul purpose of it not being easily crushed during his pointless tantrums and it succeeded in that regard.
William's fails in his attack and ends up yelping loudly, falling onto his backside.
Whilst in normal cases ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ would be silently filled with mild humour, he rushes over to his fallen partner, grabbing his arm in an attempt at comfort that William responds to with annoyance and tedium.
William snatches his own hand away, annoyed at the concern and simply (and very slowly(very, very slowly)) returns to his feet.
"I'm fine! Geez!
I have two knees, you know! One being all fricked isn't a big deal!!"
William says, storming off once again, round the corner. Then doddering back over and peeking his head round the corner just to shout:
"And for the record? My hardcore matches are so insanely painful that I hallucinate in 100% of them.
I'm not injured, pain is normal for Very Big people!
It's called mild-to-severe joint pain, look it up, you bug!!"
William storms off. Loud huffing can be heard along with heavy footsteps.
"🕈︎♓︎●︎●︎♓︎♋︎❍︎📬︎📬︎📬︎"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ sinks in on himself a little. He knows William'll be back, he always does, but it's not as cool to be the one on the receiving end of the Horrorhemoth's poorly though out yells.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ simply strops over to the Nokia, still intact on the floor. He picks it up and begins to type.
---
2nd September 2020
Hello.
Travis, the wrestler, here.
William's uh...
...
I'm eclipsing to indicate me thinking of the word.
I don't like thinking about it too much. But I am, regardless.
I don't like William being pissed off at me. And he's not "fully" pissed off, but still. I should've probably realised challenging for the Hardcore title was a mistake.
Now, it wasn't that I dislike baseless arguments and pointless, rude, generally negative screaming. Whilst 6 months ago I would not have liked it too much, now? With William? It's okay.
Hey, we're tag team partners. William would support me if I went on a rage-filled rant.
In... wingdings? Somehow.
But would he? Now?
Normally these shouts are restricted for midgets or Europeans, people William's decided he despised for reasons not quite known, but probably nothing too sophisticated.
And now I'm one of those people.
I mean, I was always Welsh but I'm pretty sue William doesn't know that.
I wish I could apologise. Properly, like.
Using words. Not symbols that were invented for early 90's computer users to share photos without clogging up their hard drives.
Wingdings.
I hugged him during the Ultimate Showdown match but-..
I'm ending the sentence with a "but" and a dash to indicate me not being able to finish my sentence. It's kinda adding to the drama.
It's probably awkward. Me explaining it. I just need a proper way to indicate my emotions. And this isn't like my anger from before where I was trying to play it up to seem cool.
I feel bad!
No, William isn't perfect and he has laughed at me getting tazed quite a couple times but-...
See? I did it again. With the "but" and the dash? Because I'm upset. There's probably other words to use like that but I haven't discovered them yet.
Off topic, Travis!
Alright, so I feel guilty.
We clobbered each other in our match. That's fine, we're adults. We're allowed to.
But when I saw his face, his facial expressions...
He looked pretty miserable.
He's never been anything but ecstatic, angry or pretending to be ecstatic/angry even though he's absolutely terrified.
I've never seen him so.. down. During a match. (Elipses is a pause. Just to re-itwrate. So "I've never seen him so PAUSE (to indicate me taking a pause and as I'm saying/typing it) down.") It was weird.
And before the almost-penultimate blow (so like third or fourth to last blow) he said something like "I don't deserve this".
And he didn't!
Okay, maybe a lot of it he did deserve.
But there are better ways to deal with that then fighting, which I realise now! I'll admit, there was some.. lingering resentment. After the tazing fiasco.
But although I am a wrestler, I think I finally realised one of the fundamental issues with wrestling as a whole.
You can't solve personal issues by beating each a certain person up in a wrestling match, in front of a live audience.
That's like anime logic. It just doesn't work.
And I'm gonna sound like a hypocrite now, but I'm gonna try and solve my current problems by beating a person up.
I can explain, though.
Phoenix Lestrange. Mean woman, agile fighter. You're not like "sane" sane, either.
You're fairly small.
If I make an example out of you, beating you up very badly and stuff, William might like me a bit more.
Is that a bit too optimistic?
It might be.
It's no secret you're an impressive fighter, but you've not exactly in the annals of glory. You came up shot against your Alpha Showdown opponent. So did I, like, so it's not too bad.
But you also lost a Junior Heaviweight Title match just almost a month ago.
Seems like you're reluctantly striving for violence, Phoenix. Seems like a part of you enjoys that very much, and another part slightly less so.
I can relate.
Now with wanting violence, but with other stuff. Like cars. I don't like cars that don't have 4 doors but if a car with 2 doors was a lot bigger than a 4 door one then I'd allow it.
Cognitive dissonance.
I realise how that the whole "2 door car vs 4 door car" analogy for the duality of the human being may have been a tiny bit inappropriate. Or boring.
But you have to understand, I'm 7 foot. My knees don't like it. And with William's right knee...
I can't let that happen.
We need to buy a bigger car.
Which, doesn't really have anything to do with our match. I got off topic again.
But back to me being tall, I'll further that point.
You're a midget, Phoenix. A midget through and through. And even if you did let that darkness inside you consumed you, it'd still just be darkness inside of a relatively small female.
I'm a Very Big Supervillain. I'm 7 foot tall, I'm not a good mat wrestler, I know one submission move, and I'm above average at chokeslams and big boots.
So I will use those two moves, plus whatever else I need to use to win, to beat you down, and win.
My old accomplices, back in Wales, the ones I can't talk about (and not just because I only Wingdings) had a belief.
Not a belief, more of a domestic concept.
Sometimes the best solution to a problem is the simplest one. And you Phoenix? Fighting against yourself, desiring championship and gold and humanity dripping in red blood at the same time?
That's complex.
I made a mistake. I let petty ambition get the best of me and I upset a man who isn't exactly a innocent person, but is my friend.
I will apologise by doing he DOES like.
Which is seeing small people get beat up.
You are the small person in this scenario Phoenix Lestrange.
And I am going to win.
And then me and William will find Adelaide and get back William's Hardcore Title. Okay.
And then I will scream mean stuff also! And we'll both be saying mean stuff, but also nice stuff to each other. Like friends.
So I got a lot on the line here, and I can't really let myself lose.
I WILL defeat you, Vampire Lady. Will in all uppercase!
Unless I pass out and hallucinate and get hit by a Cannon again.
But there's no way that can happen twice.
No.
Nada.
Not at all.
Okay goodbye.
....
See, I feel like I've jinxed myself with that ending but. Probably just paranoid. Okay...
---
William grumbles. Awaking from his sleep. He can hear something. Always cranky, and especially so due to the late night, William slowly rises and opens his eyes.
Normally most weirdos lack the strength to kidnap VBS, and they're still in the Arizona alley way.
It's probably another Squirrel, William thinks. He may not have succeeded beating up a squirrel the first 4 times he tried it, but it's late now. Maybe the darkness will shroud him?
Unfortunately, William raises his eyes to see not a squirrel, but a man. A masked man, in an oddly familiar uniform going through William's Nokia.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ still lays asleep, and William puts a hand over him, almost proactively as he stares the stranger down.
"Oi!"
The stranger's cold stare is aimed at William now. He's familiar.. William knows him from some sort of-..
Ah!
"You're the guy who's sprayed butter all over the stage at Alpha Showdown! You-!! Who even-?!"
"I'm a warning, William Cunningham."
William stops dead in his tracks. The stranger drops the Nokia, but continues to speak.
"I'm a reminder that curiosity can be the beckoner of ceaseless misery if used in certain ways. That rabbit hole you were climbing down does not lead to wonderland. I highly advise you to stop your 'investigation',"
William's incredibly baffled now, even more than usual. What could he mean? This butter guy obviously wasn't with APW and William had almost exclusively been doing that. He's been focused purely on VBS, on William and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎.
The butter-stranger begins to leave, and William's to groggy to catch up but he does manage to ask:
"Who the frick are you?!"
The stranger stops.
"Who am I?"
The stranger turns. He glances down at ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s sleeping form, face expressionless.
"✌︎■︎ □︎●︎♎︎ ♋︎♍︎♍︎□︎❍︎◻︎●︎♓︎♍︎♏︎📬︎"
And with that, the butter-stranger walks off into the night.
...
...
McDonalds?
Why the fuck does McDonald's even have a phone, you don't deliver!!
...
I wasn-
I WASN'T YELLING!!! GET OFF MY BACK!!"
William screams into the Nokia next to his bandage riddled face. Him and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ are currently holed up in an abandoned factory, around about the eastern Arizona area.
He'd patched up quite nicely, but he'd used ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s mummified robes as bandages so how his entire face was covered in all too large pieces of cloth.
He only had two major injuries, to his nose mainly. It was the only one ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ had...
Well, no point sugar coating it.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ had gone into his match against William expecting them both to go a little light with one another.
William had been knocked out, suffered a broken nose and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ got assaulted by a referee and hit with a cannon.
Obviously, they're in pain. Especially when William had fallen down 4 separate flights of stairs when chasing after his Hardcore Title. The one that Addy Ainsworth had stolen.
William was still a little furious about the "betrayal" which was fair. ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ thought that William would forgive him eventually though. That or try to hit him with a microwave. Whatever comes first.
Now their search for that woman had momentarily stopped.
William had initially wanted to search her Home Town.
When asking a random homeless guy (he searched it up but couldn't read) he misheard "Nevada" as "Nirvana".
After going to several fan groups related to the rock group, William got pissed and decided to go "CIA mode" in regards to searching.
Which.. changed nothing.
And now they're outside a Buddhist temple.
"...
...
So can I-?
Shut up!
Can I order?
...
...
Yeah but I didn't ring fricking UberEats I RUNG FRICKING DOMINO PIZZA!!! ALRIGHT?!"
William roars into his tiny brick of a phone, slamming the Nokia into the walls beside hum and stamping on it for good measure.
William had bought it for the soul purpose of it not being easily crushed during his pointless tantrums and it succeeded in that regard.
William's fails in his attack and ends up yelping loudly, falling onto his backside.
Whilst in normal cases ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ would be silently filled with mild humour, he rushes over to his fallen partner, grabbing his arm in an attempt at comfort that William responds to with annoyance and tedium.
William snatches his own hand away, annoyed at the concern and simply (and very slowly(very, very slowly)) returns to his feet.
"I'm fine! Geez!
I have two knees, you know! One being all fricked isn't a big deal!!"
William says, storming off once again, round the corner. Then doddering back over and peeking his head round the corner just to shout:
"And for the record? My hardcore matches are so insanely painful that I hallucinate in 100% of them.
I'm not injured, pain is normal for Very Big people!
It's called mild-to-severe joint pain, look it up, you bug!!"
William storms off. Loud huffing can be heard along with heavy footsteps.
"🕈︎♓︎●︎●︎♓︎♋︎❍︎📬︎📬︎📬︎"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ sinks in on himself a little. He knows William'll be back, he always does, but it's not as cool to be the one on the receiving end of the Horrorhemoth's poorly though out yells.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ simply strops over to the Nokia, still intact on the floor. He picks it up and begins to type.
---
2nd September 2020
Hello.
Travis, the wrestler, here.
William's uh...
...
I'm eclipsing to indicate me thinking of the word.
I don't like thinking about it too much. But I am, regardless.
I don't like William being pissed off at me. And he's not "fully" pissed off, but still. I should've probably realised challenging for the Hardcore title was a mistake.
Now, it wasn't that I dislike baseless arguments and pointless, rude, generally negative screaming. Whilst 6 months ago I would not have liked it too much, now? With William? It's okay.
Hey, we're tag team partners. William would support me if I went on a rage-filled rant.
In... wingdings? Somehow.
But would he? Now?
Normally these shouts are restricted for midgets or Europeans, people William's decided he despised for reasons not quite known, but probably nothing too sophisticated.
And now I'm one of those people.
I mean, I was always Welsh but I'm pretty sue William doesn't know that.
I wish I could apologise. Properly, like.
Using words. Not symbols that were invented for early 90's computer users to share photos without clogging up their hard drives.
Wingdings.
I hugged him during the Ultimate Showdown match but-..
I'm ending the sentence with a "but" and a dash to indicate me not being able to finish my sentence. It's kinda adding to the drama.
It's probably awkward. Me explaining it. I just need a proper way to indicate my emotions. And this isn't like my anger from before where I was trying to play it up to seem cool.
I feel bad!
No, William isn't perfect and he has laughed at me getting tazed quite a couple times but-...
See? I did it again. With the "but" and the dash? Because I'm upset. There's probably other words to use like that but I haven't discovered them yet.
Off topic, Travis!
Alright, so I feel guilty.
We clobbered each other in our match. That's fine, we're adults. We're allowed to.
But when I saw his face, his facial expressions...
He looked pretty miserable.
He's never been anything but ecstatic, angry or pretending to be ecstatic/angry even though he's absolutely terrified.
I've never seen him so.. down. During a match. (Elipses is a pause. Just to re-itwrate. So "I've never seen him so PAUSE (to indicate me taking a pause and as I'm saying/typing it) down.") It was weird.
And before the almost-penultimate blow (so like third or fourth to last blow) he said something like "I don't deserve this".
And he didn't!
Okay, maybe a lot of it he did deserve.
But there are better ways to deal with that then fighting, which I realise now! I'll admit, there was some.. lingering resentment. After the tazing fiasco.
But although I am a wrestler, I think I finally realised one of the fundamental issues with wrestling as a whole.
You can't solve personal issues by beating each a certain person up in a wrestling match, in front of a live audience.
That's like anime logic. It just doesn't work.
And I'm gonna sound like a hypocrite now, but I'm gonna try and solve my current problems by beating a person up.
I can explain, though.
Phoenix Lestrange. Mean woman, agile fighter. You're not like "sane" sane, either.
You're fairly small.
If I make an example out of you, beating you up very badly and stuff, William might like me a bit more.
Is that a bit too optimistic?
It might be.
It's no secret you're an impressive fighter, but you've not exactly in the annals of glory. You came up shot against your Alpha Showdown opponent. So did I, like, so it's not too bad.
But you also lost a Junior Heaviweight Title match just almost a month ago.
Seems like you're reluctantly striving for violence, Phoenix. Seems like a part of you enjoys that very much, and another part slightly less so.
I can relate.
Now with wanting violence, but with other stuff. Like cars. I don't like cars that don't have 4 doors but if a car with 2 doors was a lot bigger than a 4 door one then I'd allow it.
Cognitive dissonance.
I realise how that the whole "2 door car vs 4 door car" analogy for the duality of the human being may have been a tiny bit inappropriate. Or boring.
But you have to understand, I'm 7 foot. My knees don't like it. And with William's right knee...
I can't let that happen.
We need to buy a bigger car.
Which, doesn't really have anything to do with our match. I got off topic again.
But back to me being tall, I'll further that point.
You're a midget, Phoenix. A midget through and through. And even if you did let that darkness inside you consumed you, it'd still just be darkness inside of a relatively small female.
I'm a Very Big Supervillain. I'm 7 foot tall, I'm not a good mat wrestler, I know one submission move, and I'm above average at chokeslams and big boots.
So I will use those two moves, plus whatever else I need to use to win, to beat you down, and win.
My old accomplices, back in Wales, the ones I can't talk about (and not just because I only Wingdings) had a belief.
Not a belief, more of a domestic concept.
Sometimes the best solution to a problem is the simplest one. And you Phoenix? Fighting against yourself, desiring championship and gold and humanity dripping in red blood at the same time?
That's complex.
I made a mistake. I let petty ambition get the best of me and I upset a man who isn't exactly a innocent person, but is my friend.
I will apologise by doing he DOES like.
Which is seeing small people get beat up.
You are the small person in this scenario Phoenix Lestrange.
And I am going to win.
And then me and William will find Adelaide and get back William's Hardcore Title. Okay.
And then I will scream mean stuff also! And we'll both be saying mean stuff, but also nice stuff to each other. Like friends.
So I got a lot on the line here, and I can't really let myself lose.
I WILL defeat you, Vampire Lady. Will in all uppercase!
Unless I pass out and hallucinate and get hit by a Cannon again.
But there's no way that can happen twice.
No.
Nada.
Not at all.
Okay goodbye.
....
See, I feel like I've jinxed myself with that ending but. Probably just paranoid. Okay...
---
--8 hours later--
William grumbles. Awaking from his sleep. He can hear something. Always cranky, and especially so due to the late night, William slowly rises and opens his eyes.
Normally most weirdos lack the strength to kidnap VBS, and they're still in the Arizona alley way.
It's probably another Squirrel, William thinks. He may not have succeeded beating up a squirrel the first 4 times he tried it, but it's late now. Maybe the darkness will shroud him?
Unfortunately, William raises his eyes to see not a squirrel, but a man. A masked man, in an oddly familiar uniform going through William's Nokia.
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ still lays asleep, and William puts a hand over him, almost proactively as he stares the stranger down.
"Oi!"
The stranger's cold stare is aimed at William now. He's familiar.. William knows him from some sort of-..
Ah!
"You're the guy who's sprayed butter all over the stage at Alpha Showdown! You-!! Who even-?!"
"I'm a warning, William Cunningham."
William stops dead in his tracks. The stranger drops the Nokia, but continues to speak.
"I'm a reminder that curiosity can be the beckoner of ceaseless misery if used in certain ways. That rabbit hole you were climbing down does not lead to wonderland. I highly advise you to stop your 'investigation',"
William's incredibly baffled now, even more than usual. What could he mean? This butter guy obviously wasn't with APW and William had almost exclusively been doing that. He's been focused purely on VBS, on William and ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎.
The butter-stranger begins to leave, and William's to groggy to catch up but he does manage to ask:
"Who the frick are you?!"
The stranger stops.
"Who am I?"
The stranger turns. He glances down at ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s sleeping form, face expressionless.
"✌︎■︎ □︎●︎♎︎ ♋︎♍︎♍︎□︎❍︎◻︎●︎♓︎♍︎♏︎📬︎"
And with that, the butter-stranger walks off into the night.
