Post by Sandy Coconutz on Jun 27, 2019 16:12:07 GMT -5
T H E V I E W
:: Ya girl got a call, she got a hook up. My publicist, Kara got to me after my match and told me that the View wants to have me on as a guest. The View + @sandyc. Bless up Jesus, sup sup sup. The day came and I was on the view in a flower print dress and a giant sun hat. I sat with my legs crossed on a couch across from the girls on the view. ::
Whoppi: So Sandy, Sandra, Scandy C, you’re quickly becoming a rising force in the growing feminist movement. You’re on college speaking tours, you’re growing on twitter, you’re a hostess at various nightclubs; how do you balance it?
Sandy Coconutz: I find time.
Whoppi: Now you’re wrestling. So explain to me how that all pans out because I’m confused.How does that whole thing come about?
Sandy Coconutz: Well I was actually talking about this the other week at a lecture I was doing. I wanted to start wrestling as a way to show that not only are we equal to men but we’re better than them. Real women give birth to real men. We are the mothers. We are the creators.
Meagan: But I heard you got drunk and went to your ex’s house and was outside screaming for him to degrade you.
:: This * clap * bitch * clap * right * clap * here * clap* ::
Sandy Coconutz: I’m proud of my sexuality. Yes, its true.
:: Ahem. very true. ::
- Its true that I went to my Ex’s boyfriends house and asked him to -
Meagan: Make you hurt, to qoute ‘ put it in your ass.’
Sandy Coconutz: Meagan, please. Don’t kink shame. We’re not here for that. I’m proud of my sexuality although, I’m not proud my drunken behavior.
Meagan: But you do drink, you do like to get drunk.
Sandy Coconutz: Meagan, this conversation aint about your daddy, you have no room here. I’m a proud woman and I will not back down to your brow beating and shaming. I celebrate my sexuality and I urge all women to celebrate themselves.
Whoppi: Lets get back to your wrestling.
Sandy Coconutz: Wrestling has very few women in it and they are all the same. WHo are these people? I don’t identify with them. They arnt me. They don’t have my values. They either use sex as a means of control or they are just like, super bitches and I’m not here for that. They don’t know me. These people don’t know me, they don’t. I want to empower all women all over the world no matter their race, status, orientation or gender identity. I wrestle because it crosses gender normative society. I am proud of my sexuality because it crosses gender normative society.
Whoppi: Last week you beat that boy, what was his name?
Joy: MJ Brilliance.
Whoppi: MJ Brilliance, that's right. Now, like, how many matches was that for you?
Sandy Coconutz: I think that makes five. I’ve only had five matches.
Meagan: So you’re brand new, that's awfully dangerous isnt it? You’re putting lives at risk all because you want to play some feminist hero.
Sandy Coconutz: I may not be a great wrestler yet but I’m one hell of an athlete. I’ve been a gymnist since I was six, I’m twenty six. I’ve been flipping and twisting and tucking and tumbling all my life- much longer than anyone else has been wrestling. So wrestler, I’m a rookie but leaving the sweat and tears on the mat. That's what I did with MJ Brilliance. Was it pretty, no but I’m pretty. I’m beautiful, I’m sexy. Men talk shit worse than women when they don’t get their way. I even heard he was making excuses and objectifying me. You know what, that's fine. I pinned him. I won and now I’m onto Steve Osbourne who * bleh * please, don’t even get me started. He may have won that Junior championship contenders match but lets face it, this will be the real match right here. This is the real challenge. Don’t sleep on your girl cuz I’m coming to make things happen.
Whoppi: Well, we wish you all the best.
Sandy Coconutz: Thank you.
H E A D S T O G E T H E R
Saturns Nightclub
:: Back at Saturns, I had to talk with my Jenny Gurl. The bar tender is like the town shrink and Jenny Gurl had a way with my head. ::
Jenny Gurl: Honestly, if you want my opinion, you were shit out there. What were you even trying to do?
Sandy Coconutz: Well I was trying to dismount with a backroll.
Jenny Gurl: And the crying?
Sandy Coconutz: Ugh, I ugh, I plead the fifth.
Jenny Gurl: Do you even know what that moves called?
Sandy Coconutz: The - opps, I fucked up?
Jenny Gurl: No, the Hurricanrana, you Punta.
Sandy Coconutz: Cunt.
PUNTA-CUNT-RANA
LMAO
I’ M A B A D B I S H
:: The following is LIVE from @sandyc and her twitter feed ::
Steve Osbourne, trust ya girl when shes tells you that she don’t need to go Mickey Mantle on your broke deta kappa phi, Chad Bennington, 5.5 micro penis ass. Trust ya girl when she tells you that all this, all this is a fleeting moment for you. Sure, I mean, good on you, you won the contendership match. Sorry. Opps
* one of
But see how good that treatin you cuz you now you here with me and my BEACH KREW fuccboi killin self. So come at me with that misogynist speech. I eat it up like cum on french toast. But you know what, I know for a fact that you don’t. I know that deep down, you’re scared as shit from the Swollest chick with the biggest dick. Some of you know what that means, a lot of you don’t but you will. I am more that capable of knocking you out and sucking you off.
Remember, its not rape with these tits in your face, sufficating you, tapping you out with a Hawian Muscle Buster. We just call that a good time and if you’re lucky when you wake up I’ll make you eat my ass and serve you breakfast. So lets get this straight, gay, bi, trans and Ace because I want this to be crystal clear for your dumb ass. I’m proud of my Devine Femme. I’m proud of my sexuality and I’m proud of my athletic ability. I’m a bad bish and I’m going to eat you alive with my Devine Femme. I’m going to run right through you and hit you with every super kick variant in the book before I spike your ugly, golem looking face right into the canvas. Then you can ask yourself where you went wrong from last week to this and the answers simple:
You went and fucked with the swollest bitch in the room.
Now how you doin’
