Post by zybala on Aug 8, 2020 10:06:12 GMT -5
: The following scene takes place at a different time and location from Dave Van Dam's. This promo opens up at the headquarters of Alpha Pro Wrestling. I don't really know what your setup is, but it's my promo so I'm doing things my way. We see new APW sensation and all around dream machine Mike Zybala walking up to the building. He stops at the double doors and spots the APW logo on them. Below the large letters is the full promotion's name. Below that is a sheet of paper listing the usual "No entrance without a mask" Covid rhetoric. Zybala pulls out a facemask from his pocket, and puts it on because even though the odds are slim of catching Covid, it's better to be safe than sorry. Especially when so many of his loved ones are immune compromised. Anyways, after the mask is secured, he pushes the door open with his foot and walks into the main lobby. Zybala looks around this unfamiliar place and spots a reception desk with a receptionist sitting behind it. He makes his way over to the person and smiles at the young man behind the desk. Zybala stops when he remembers the mask is covering the smile. :
Zybala: Good morning, sir. I would like to speak with whoever is in charge.
Receptionist: Hello Mr. Zybala.
: Zybala is taken aback by this stranger knowing his name. He squints his eyes trying to think if he knows the receptionist. It's hard to tell with the young man wearing a facemask as well. :
Zybala: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but have we met before?
Receptionist: (sighs) No we haven't, but all staff is forced to know any and every wrestler APW has on the roster at all times.
Zybala: Ah, I see. That's actually relevant to why I'm here. I didn't really expect to be put on the active roster. I was signed up for my last match without my knowledge, and the same thing has happened again this week.
Receptionist: I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can help you with?
Zybala: Yes there is. Like I said earlier, I would like to speak with someone in charge to air my grievance and hopefully come to an understanding.
Receptionist: Well, I'll see what I can do. First things first, do you have an appointment?
: Zybala looks mildly surprised. Appointments? That's a word in the world of wrestling that he hasn't heard before. While he ponders this, the main door can be heard opening and closing. Zybala ignores this and presses on. :
Zybala:..... No. I didn't think I needed an…. a-point-ment... Usually when I have an issue, I just go right up to the boss' office and knock until I'm called in. I guess I've been doing that for so many years that scheduling an appointment never crossed my mind.
Receptionist: Well, here at APW, we're a little bit more professional. You can make an appointment now for a later date.
Zybala: Can it be for like a Skype call or something like that so I don't have to come all the way down here?
Receptionist: Oh sure. We know that this building and the staff here are just mainly used as plot devices or filler.
Zybala: Oh good. That would be a real time saver.
: A voice speaks up from behind Zybala. :
Voice: A real time saver would be if you hurried up so I can have a turn!
: Zybala slowly turns, but we all know what he's going to see. The weird blonde hairdo
The too thick sunglasses. The yoga pants. Not wearing a mask and cellphone in hand. That's right folks! Zybala turns to face…. A Karen! The lady doesn't bother to wait for Zybala to reply as she pushes past him to talk to the equally annoyed receptionist. He knows this type. :
Karen: It's about time! I've been waiting in line for twenty minutes!
Receptionist: Ma'am, you've just walked in a minute ago.
Karen: Don't you sass me! I know how long I've been waiting for! Now are you going to help me or not?
Receptionist: (holding back some choice words) How can I help you today?
Karen: That's better. I would like to sign up for a membership here.
Receptionist: A membership? Do you mean a contract?
Karen: Whatever you want to call it. How do I sign up?
Receptionist: Well, you have to have a tryout first. Do you have any experience?
Karen: I go to Planet Fitness a lot and go for long walks with my dogs.
: Zybala is standing there to the side looking very intrigued. The Receptionist is looking very confused. He thinks it over and decides to go all in and risk the bitch storm. :
Receptionist: Ma'am, do you know where you are?
Karen: Of course I do! I'm at the APW!
Zybala: Oh God! Don't tell me she's going to be Rose and LeStrange's manager…
: Karen shoots a nasty look before turning back to the receptionist. :
Receptionist: Do you know what APW stands for;
Karen: You should know, idiot. You work here.
Receptionist: Humor me.
Karen: (exacerbated sigh) It's the American Professional Weight-Watchers! Duh!
: At this, Zybala let's out a snort as he is desperately trying to hold back laughter. Karen glares at him before looking at the receptionist, who is trying to keep a straight face. :
Receptionist: I'm very sorry ma'am, but you have the wrong place. This is Alp…
Karen: Don't you dare lie to me! I know where I am! You just don't want to help me because I'm a woman! You helped this idiot (points at Zybala) but you don't help me! I want to speak to your manager!!!
: The Receptionist sighs as he picks up his desk phone and calls a number. While he is talking, Zybala decides to try and defuse the situation. He taps on the harpy's shoulder. She turns to face him with the "I'm better than you" look on her face. :
Karen: What?! Why are you even here? Isnt your business done?!
Zybala: Technically, I belong here more than you. I kind of work here….. against my will. Anyways, look lady, if you actually waddle your entitled ass up to the doors, take off your 7/11 shades and read, you will see that this is the headquarters of Alpha Pro Wrestling. Not your weight watchers thing.
: Karen glares at Zybala as nothing is truly clicking in her head. Nothing except two things. Zybala kind of works here and Headquarters. She gets a nasty, evil smirk on her face. :
Karen: Headquarters you say? Screw the manager, I want to see the big bosses! Get the regional manager! No, I want his boss instead! Wait! Get your CEO down here! I'll show you not to lie to me just to avoid doing your job!
: Karen starts to go on a Karem rant and Zybala is looking dumbstruck. Then he looks annoyed. Then the annoyance turns to anger. The anger then turns into not giving any actual fucks as he leaps forward and in a moment he hopes that all retail workers World Wide can feel, Superkicks Karen in her smug, twat face, because he doesn't feel bad about hurting a woman if she deserves it. He then drags her over to the door, opens it and Yeets her the fuck out as the scene fades to black. :
Well, this has been a very productive week for me. On Monday, Dave and I won our first match together in about five years when we beat down almost 900 pounds of walking monkey shit in The Very Big Supervillians, becoming undefeated as a tag team in APW. Yes, it was only one match, but it was a win. Thus, undefeated. Then on Friday in GCWA, another buddy of mine, Ed Houston, and me teamed up to win the GCWA tag team titles. So it's fair to say that I've had a successful week in two different companies.
That success will continue this following Monday when Dave and I take on, and eventually beat Lilly Rose and Phoenix LeStrange. Two women who I know almost nothing about, despite looking long and hard. All I've been able to uncover is that Rose is new and the Harry Potter fan hasn't been seen for quite a while. So I have no idea what we're in for. Are they good? Do they suck? Are they just jobbers that the bosses are giving to us for the easy win to try and get me to sign a contract? I have no idea.
What I do know is that it doesn't matter. They can be all time greats for all I care. They have the unfortunate luck of going against the best tag team in APW. You all saw how good Dave was last week, and that was with 5 years of ringrust! Imagine how good he's gonna be from here on out. The rest of the roster might as well forfeit in advance before he has the chance to kick their asses. I predict that before the year is over, you'll see Dave Van Dam holding some title in APW.
And that's just as a singles competitor. When he teams with me, you're all doubly fucked. Now I don't know how long I'll actually be staying in APW, since the fed heads are dead set on turning what was supposed to be a one night stand into a meaningful relationship. I already have a lot on my plate with wrestling in GCWA and running Outsiders Championship Wrestling. However, until things get settled, I'm going to keep doing what I do best. I'm gonna kick ass and stockpile wins. I don't care if I'm planning on leaving the company or not. I'm not giving anyone the rub on my way out the door. I'm not here to help make careers. I'm here for one thing and one thing only. Team up with Dave to kick everybody's ass and stay undefeated!
Zybala: Good morning, sir. I would like to speak with whoever is in charge.
Receptionist: Hello Mr. Zybala.
: Zybala is taken aback by this stranger knowing his name. He squints his eyes trying to think if he knows the receptionist. It's hard to tell with the young man wearing a facemask as well. :
Zybala: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, but have we met before?
Receptionist: (sighs) No we haven't, but all staff is forced to know any and every wrestler APW has on the roster at all times.
Zybala: Ah, I see. That's actually relevant to why I'm here. I didn't really expect to be put on the active roster. I was signed up for my last match without my knowledge, and the same thing has happened again this week.
Receptionist: I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can help you with?
Zybala: Yes there is. Like I said earlier, I would like to speak with someone in charge to air my grievance and hopefully come to an understanding.
Receptionist: Well, I'll see what I can do. First things first, do you have an appointment?
: Zybala looks mildly surprised. Appointments? That's a word in the world of wrestling that he hasn't heard before. While he ponders this, the main door can be heard opening and closing. Zybala ignores this and presses on. :
Zybala:..... No. I didn't think I needed an…. a-point-ment... Usually when I have an issue, I just go right up to the boss' office and knock until I'm called in. I guess I've been doing that for so many years that scheduling an appointment never crossed my mind.
Receptionist: Well, here at APW, we're a little bit more professional. You can make an appointment now for a later date.
Zybala: Can it be for like a Skype call or something like that so I don't have to come all the way down here?
Receptionist: Oh sure. We know that this building and the staff here are just mainly used as plot devices or filler.
Zybala: Oh good. That would be a real time saver.
: A voice speaks up from behind Zybala. :
Voice: A real time saver would be if you hurried up so I can have a turn!
: Zybala slowly turns, but we all know what he's going to see. The weird blonde hairdo
The too thick sunglasses. The yoga pants. Not wearing a mask and cellphone in hand. That's right folks! Zybala turns to face…. A Karen! The lady doesn't bother to wait for Zybala to reply as she pushes past him to talk to the equally annoyed receptionist. He knows this type. :
Karen: It's about time! I've been waiting in line for twenty minutes!
Receptionist: Ma'am, you've just walked in a minute ago.
Karen: Don't you sass me! I know how long I've been waiting for! Now are you going to help me or not?
Receptionist: (holding back some choice words) How can I help you today?
Karen: That's better. I would like to sign up for a membership here.
Receptionist: A membership? Do you mean a contract?
Karen: Whatever you want to call it. How do I sign up?
Receptionist: Well, you have to have a tryout first. Do you have any experience?
Karen: I go to Planet Fitness a lot and go for long walks with my dogs.
: Zybala is standing there to the side looking very intrigued. The Receptionist is looking very confused. He thinks it over and decides to go all in and risk the bitch storm. :
Receptionist: Ma'am, do you know where you are?
Karen: Of course I do! I'm at the APW!
Zybala: Oh God! Don't tell me she's going to be Rose and LeStrange's manager…
: Karen shoots a nasty look before turning back to the receptionist. :
Receptionist: Do you know what APW stands for;
Karen: You should know, idiot. You work here.
Receptionist: Humor me.
Karen: (exacerbated sigh) It's the American Professional Weight-Watchers! Duh!
: At this, Zybala let's out a snort as he is desperately trying to hold back laughter. Karen glares at him before looking at the receptionist, who is trying to keep a straight face. :
Receptionist: I'm very sorry ma'am, but you have the wrong place. This is Alp…
Karen: Don't you dare lie to me! I know where I am! You just don't want to help me because I'm a woman! You helped this idiot (points at Zybala) but you don't help me! I want to speak to your manager!!!
: The Receptionist sighs as he picks up his desk phone and calls a number. While he is talking, Zybala decides to try and defuse the situation. He taps on the harpy's shoulder. She turns to face him with the "I'm better than you" look on her face. :
Karen: What?! Why are you even here? Isnt your business done?!
Zybala: Technically, I belong here more than you. I kind of work here….. against my will. Anyways, look lady, if you actually waddle your entitled ass up to the doors, take off your 7/11 shades and read, you will see that this is the headquarters of Alpha Pro Wrestling. Not your weight watchers thing.
: Karen glares at Zybala as nothing is truly clicking in her head. Nothing except two things. Zybala kind of works here and Headquarters. She gets a nasty, evil smirk on her face. :
Karen: Headquarters you say? Screw the manager, I want to see the big bosses! Get the regional manager! No, I want his boss instead! Wait! Get your CEO down here! I'll show you not to lie to me just to avoid doing your job!
: Karen starts to go on a Karem rant and Zybala is looking dumbstruck. Then he looks annoyed. Then the annoyance turns to anger. The anger then turns into not giving any actual fucks as he leaps forward and in a moment he hopes that all retail workers World Wide can feel, Superkicks Karen in her smug, twat face, because he doesn't feel bad about hurting a woman if she deserves it. He then drags her over to the door, opens it and Yeets her the fuck out as the scene fades to black. :
Well, this has been a very productive week for me. On Monday, Dave and I won our first match together in about five years when we beat down almost 900 pounds of walking monkey shit in The Very Big Supervillians, becoming undefeated as a tag team in APW. Yes, it was only one match, but it was a win. Thus, undefeated. Then on Friday in GCWA, another buddy of mine, Ed Houston, and me teamed up to win the GCWA tag team titles. So it's fair to say that I've had a successful week in two different companies.
That success will continue this following Monday when Dave and I take on, and eventually beat Lilly Rose and Phoenix LeStrange. Two women who I know almost nothing about, despite looking long and hard. All I've been able to uncover is that Rose is new and the Harry Potter fan hasn't been seen for quite a while. So I have no idea what we're in for. Are they good? Do they suck? Are they just jobbers that the bosses are giving to us for the easy win to try and get me to sign a contract? I have no idea.
What I do know is that it doesn't matter. They can be all time greats for all I care. They have the unfortunate luck of going against the best tag team in APW. You all saw how good Dave was last week, and that was with 5 years of ringrust! Imagine how good he's gonna be from here on out. The rest of the roster might as well forfeit in advance before he has the chance to kick their asses. I predict that before the year is over, you'll see Dave Van Dam holding some title in APW.
And that's just as a singles competitor. When he teams with me, you're all doubly fucked. Now I don't know how long I'll actually be staying in APW, since the fed heads are dead set on turning what was supposed to be a one night stand into a meaningful relationship. I already have a lot on my plate with wrestling in GCWA and running Outsiders Championship Wrestling. However, until things get settled, I'm going to keep doing what I do best. I'm gonna kick ass and stockpile wins. I don't care if I'm planning on leaving the company or not. I'm not giving anyone the rub on my way out the door. I'm not here to help make careers. I'm here for one thing and one thing only. Team up with Dave to kick everybody's ass and stay undefeated!
