Fuck your Apathy.
Jul 31, 2020 13:06:11 GMT -5
The Very Big Supervillains, Andrew Barnes, and 1 more like this
Post by immortaldvd on Jul 31, 2020 13:06:11 GMT -5
: The scene opens to Dave hanging up the phone after speaking to Mike. He has a cringeworthy smile on his face that would make an angel scared. His wife is sitting on the couch feeding their son just watching her husband pace the carpet. :
Victoria: I know we said we needed a new carpet, but can you not walk this one to threads before we get this paycheck from Gust?
:Dave looks over at his wife but does not stop his pacing:
Victoria: What?
:Dave stops pacing and looks over to his wife:
Dave: I told Gust that h didn't have to pay us?
:Victoria chuckles:
Victoria: Does Mike know this?
:Dave laughs:
Dave: Yea that's the surprise and part of the plan.
Victoria: Well you are aware that he is going to kill you right?
Dave: Maybe but I'll buy him a few burgers a bag of weed and maybe a baby yoda stuffed animal and he will be fine.
:Victoria looks at Dave disappointed:
Dave: What?
Victoria: What am I supposed to tell Cathy?
:Dave starts to walk out of the room and as he does, he says ……..:
Dave: Good Luck Babe love you!
:Victoria is heard in the other room blurting obscenities. Dave makes his way down the hallway and as he does looks at all the pictures from his past hanging on the walls. He looks at the hollow friends he has made in the business adorning his house. He turns a corner and enters a room that is flush wish all his history in the business, all the titles from around the world he has won sit in a trophy case that encompasses the entire north wall. He sits down on the couch and wipes his hand across his scared forehead. He runs his fingers across the scars, and it bring a smile to his face:
Dave: The past makes us the people we are each day. The scars, the broken bones, the broken trust, the broken business deals and The Very Big Supervillains seem to……
:Dave pauses:
Dave: The Very Big Supervillains? Really? I'm not going to spend the time focusing on how pointless that name is because if you have been in the business long enough you have heard enough of it and I am sure the management is tired of that content, so I'll focus on the task at hand.
:Dave get's up from the couch and walks over to his computer and hits play. The TVBSV's (I refuse to verbalize it each time I need to.) promo run's and Dave watches it through again.:
Dave: You know this is the second or third time I have watched this . I have watched it looking for something to focus on to make this an entertaining exchange, because your tired, cliched, rhetoric left me yawning. Not getting my name right show's how uneducated you are…because it's not real hard…..but it really doesn't matter to be honest. You don't know my name as of July…..Come August I guarantee you will……because after Mike and I embarrass you and literally knock the McDonald's shit out of you as you laying in your own special sauce on your fat ass back looking up at the lights you will hear……And your WINNERS Mike Zybala and Dave Van Dam!
:Victoria pops her head in:
Victoria: You almost done? I just put the baby down and I am horny.
:Dave smiles:
Dave: Yeah give me a min this won't take long.
Victoria: Ok….don't keep me waiting.
:Victoria exits the room and Dave turns his attention to a picture hanging on the wall. The picture is of Mike, Dave, and Nathan Gust . Mike and Dave have smiles on their face, but Gust just looks DEAD.:
Dave: With the lack of useful information provided during the TVBSV's promo I have no problem providing something the fan's of the APW seem to be lacking if TVBSV's have been wasting airwave time since 2009…….and that is entertainment…... which is the reason Mike and I were brought here….Why we were booked against TVBSV. Management was tired of the boring ass promo's….the slow ass plodding matches…..the overall meh experience that encompass the TVBSV mystique. They came to the realization that they needed a proven tag team to draw numbers, they needed the athleticism that this business thrives on.
:Dave turns away from the picture and his phone rings, Mike's voice is heard at the end of the line:
Mike: Hey I forgot to ask you……When you picking me up?
Dave: I'll be there at 4:30.
Mike: In the morning?
:Dave chuckles:
Dave: I got a plan trust me
Mike: Dude….I have been trusting you for 15 years…….
Dave: Yeah not trusting me know to come to the wedding though……
Mike: Really? It's been 6 years. I thought we were past this……
Dave: You cut me real deep…..
Mike: Shut up…..Literally every time we chill you bring this shit up…..Wait……I am putting it all together…..you volunteered for this match as punishment. You asked for us to face these guys
because you want me to get squished……
Dave: Squished?
Mike: Yes squished.
:Dave laughs:
Mike: That is the plan? You are going to have these over grown, slow, unentertaining elephants sit on my chest cavity and cease my life.
Dave: Mike you are rambling again?
Mike: Yeah but….
Dave: Mike I wouldn't volunteer you for something to have you get crushed. I volunteered you because I have ZERO doubt in my mind this is a W. I have no doubt in my mind that as that final bell rings the familiar sound of our names being announced the winners. So, enhance your calm John Spartan.
Mike: Please I am going Simon Phoenix or here?
Dave: Frozen ?
:Dave laughs and mike says exasperatingly…. You said 4:30 right?
:Then all is heard on the other end of the line is dial tone. Dave snickers and places the phone back into his pocket.
Dave: Anyway, back to the business at hand. It must truly suck to have the feeling of irrelevance. You spoke about how you have been here since 2009 and you are the gatekeepers for the fed and blah blah blah. My question is……who honestly has a gate that requires a keeper in 2020? Literally you are talking about how long you have been here is the only thing that mattered throughout your entire uneducated, rambling nonsensical promo. In all seriousness you think entertainment is talking about midgets, and the weight of your bones while trying to defend your obesity is something ANYONE finds entertaining? It's not I assure you all it does is kill the life on the remote of our viewers by one click as they change the channel.
:Victoria pops her head back in and it is obvious she is naked from around the door.:
Victoria: How much longer? Have you got to the point in the promo where you explain your goals and aspirations?
:Dave smiles:
Dave: Two minutes V.
:She blows a kiss to him and shuts the door. :
Dave: So, as we end this long-winded exchange that me and Mike have carried from an entertainment perspective let's make sure that you get all your cliché entrenched digs about our age or how our legacy doesn't mean anything because once that bell rings…….Words won't matter. As Mike and I are standing across the ring from you, you will realize that all the hollow bravado you wasted everyone's time with ended up being nothing but hot air. Mike and I will have no problem humbling TVBSV and helping you remember our names, and you will be nothing but a stepping stone because one thing you did say……..I am old……Yeah I am….you are right….I have socks that are older than both of you but it will be even more satisfying when this geriatric ass hits you with the first Total Vandamnation in over 5 years. The ref gets down and counts…..1……2…..3. Ding Ding Ding back to the glutenous loser life style you are accustomed to. The New Era of Van Dam will create a legacy you may not care about right now but I guarantee you will. For those that know me in this business they know what having my son see me work means to me so even as I knock the ring rust off I will do so knowing that this legacy I am about to embark on will be one that transcends the past. The New Era of Van Dam will be the entertainment cash cow that the APW obviously needed so everyone else sit back……relax……enjoy…..and educate yourselves on what true perfection in a wrestling ring looks like. Lastly…….
:DVD pauses:
Dave: A villain ALWAYS loses in the end, and this instance will be no different.
:There is a knock at the front door, and Dave opens to a FED guy with two boxes.:
Dave: Yes, they have arrived!
:The delivery driver looks at Dave like he is crazy.:
Delivery guy: Sign here.
:Dave eagerly grabs the machine thing and signs his name.:
Dave: Gimme -Gimme.
:Dave grabs the boxes from the driver's hand and scurries back inside. He rushes down the hallway and blasts through the bedroom door.:
Dave: They are here! This is going to be so BAD ASS!
:Victoria now laying under the silk sheets revealing her amazing silhouetted figure. She rolls her eyes:
Victoria: I married a child.
:Dave turns to Victoria:
Dave: I'll show you child.,
:Dave hops on the bed and the camera begins to fade out just as Dave begins to kiss his wife and pull back the sheets.:
Victoria: I know we said we needed a new carpet, but can you not walk this one to threads before we get this paycheck from Gust?
:Dave looks over at his wife but does not stop his pacing:
Victoria: What?
:Dave stops pacing and looks over to his wife:
Dave: I told Gust that h didn't have to pay us?
:Victoria chuckles:
Victoria: Does Mike know this?
:Dave laughs:
Dave: Yea that's the surprise and part of the plan.
Victoria: Well you are aware that he is going to kill you right?
Dave: Maybe but I'll buy him a few burgers a bag of weed and maybe a baby yoda stuffed animal and he will be fine.
:Victoria looks at Dave disappointed:
Dave: What?
Victoria: What am I supposed to tell Cathy?
:Dave starts to walk out of the room and as he does, he says ……..:
Dave: Good Luck Babe love you!
:Victoria is heard in the other room blurting obscenities. Dave makes his way down the hallway and as he does looks at all the pictures from his past hanging on the walls. He looks at the hollow friends he has made in the business adorning his house. He turns a corner and enters a room that is flush wish all his history in the business, all the titles from around the world he has won sit in a trophy case that encompasses the entire north wall. He sits down on the couch and wipes his hand across his scared forehead. He runs his fingers across the scars, and it bring a smile to his face:
Dave: The past makes us the people we are each day. The scars, the broken bones, the broken trust, the broken business deals and The Very Big Supervillains seem to……
:Dave pauses:
Dave: The Very Big Supervillains? Really? I'm not going to spend the time focusing on how pointless that name is because if you have been in the business long enough you have heard enough of it and I am sure the management is tired of that content, so I'll focus on the task at hand.
:Dave get's up from the couch and walks over to his computer and hits play. The TVBSV's (I refuse to verbalize it each time I need to.) promo run's and Dave watches it through again.:
Dave: You know this is the second or third time I have watched this . I have watched it looking for something to focus on to make this an entertaining exchange, because your tired, cliched, rhetoric left me yawning. Not getting my name right show's how uneducated you are…because it's not real hard…..but it really doesn't matter to be honest. You don't know my name as of July…..Come August I guarantee you will……because after Mike and I embarrass you and literally knock the McDonald's shit out of you as you laying in your own special sauce on your fat ass back looking up at the lights you will hear……And your WINNERS Mike Zybala and Dave Van Dam!
:Victoria pops her head in:
Victoria: You almost done? I just put the baby down and I am horny.
:Dave smiles:
Dave: Yeah give me a min this won't take long.
Victoria: Ok….don't keep me waiting.
:Victoria exits the room and Dave turns his attention to a picture hanging on the wall. The picture is of Mike, Dave, and Nathan Gust . Mike and Dave have smiles on their face, but Gust just looks DEAD.:
Dave: With the lack of useful information provided during the TVBSV's promo I have no problem providing something the fan's of the APW seem to be lacking if TVBSV's have been wasting airwave time since 2009…….and that is entertainment…... which is the reason Mike and I were brought here….Why we were booked against TVBSV. Management was tired of the boring ass promo's….the slow ass plodding matches…..the overall meh experience that encompass the TVBSV mystique. They came to the realization that they needed a proven tag team to draw numbers, they needed the athleticism that this business thrives on.
:Dave turns away from the picture and his phone rings, Mike's voice is heard at the end of the line:
Mike: Hey I forgot to ask you……When you picking me up?
Dave: I'll be there at 4:30.
Mike: In the morning?
:Dave chuckles:
Dave: I got a plan trust me
Mike: Dude….I have been trusting you for 15 years…….
Dave: Yeah not trusting me know to come to the wedding though……
Mike: Really? It's been 6 years. I thought we were past this……
Dave: You cut me real deep…..
Mike: Shut up…..Literally every time we chill you bring this shit up…..Wait……I am putting it all together…..you volunteered for this match as punishment. You asked for us to face these guys
because you want me to get squished……
Dave: Squished?
Mike: Yes squished.
:Dave laughs:
Mike: That is the plan? You are going to have these over grown, slow, unentertaining elephants sit on my chest cavity and cease my life.
Dave: Mike you are rambling again?
Mike: Yeah but….
Dave: Mike I wouldn't volunteer you for something to have you get crushed. I volunteered you because I have ZERO doubt in my mind this is a W. I have no doubt in my mind that as that final bell rings the familiar sound of our names being announced the winners. So, enhance your calm John Spartan.
Mike: Please I am going Simon Phoenix or here?
Dave: Frozen ?
:Dave laughs and mike says exasperatingly…. You said 4:30 right?
:Then all is heard on the other end of the line is dial tone. Dave snickers and places the phone back into his pocket.
Dave: Anyway, back to the business at hand. It must truly suck to have the feeling of irrelevance. You spoke about how you have been here since 2009 and you are the gatekeepers for the fed and blah blah blah. My question is……who honestly has a gate that requires a keeper in 2020? Literally you are talking about how long you have been here is the only thing that mattered throughout your entire uneducated, rambling nonsensical promo. In all seriousness you think entertainment is talking about midgets, and the weight of your bones while trying to defend your obesity is something ANYONE finds entertaining? It's not I assure you all it does is kill the life on the remote of our viewers by one click as they change the channel.
:Victoria pops her head back in and it is obvious she is naked from around the door.:
Victoria: How much longer? Have you got to the point in the promo where you explain your goals and aspirations?
:Dave smiles:
Dave: Two minutes V.
:She blows a kiss to him and shuts the door. :
Dave: So, as we end this long-winded exchange that me and Mike have carried from an entertainment perspective let's make sure that you get all your cliché entrenched digs about our age or how our legacy doesn't mean anything because once that bell rings…….Words won't matter. As Mike and I are standing across the ring from you, you will realize that all the hollow bravado you wasted everyone's time with ended up being nothing but hot air. Mike and I will have no problem humbling TVBSV and helping you remember our names, and you will be nothing but a stepping stone because one thing you did say……..I am old……Yeah I am….you are right….I have socks that are older than both of you but it will be even more satisfying when this geriatric ass hits you with the first Total Vandamnation in over 5 years. The ref gets down and counts…..1……2…..3. Ding Ding Ding back to the glutenous loser life style you are accustomed to. The New Era of Van Dam will create a legacy you may not care about right now but I guarantee you will. For those that know me in this business they know what having my son see me work means to me so even as I knock the ring rust off I will do so knowing that this legacy I am about to embark on will be one that transcends the past. The New Era of Van Dam will be the entertainment cash cow that the APW obviously needed so everyone else sit back……relax……enjoy…..and educate yourselves on what true perfection in a wrestling ring looks like. Lastly…….
:DVD pauses:
Dave: A villain ALWAYS loses in the end, and this instance will be no different.
:There is a knock at the front door, and Dave opens to a FED guy with two boxes.:
Dave: Yes, they have arrived!
:The delivery driver looks at Dave like he is crazy.:
Delivery guy: Sign here.
:Dave eagerly grabs the machine thing and signs his name.:
Dave: Gimme -Gimme.
:Dave grabs the boxes from the driver's hand and scurries back inside. He rushes down the hallway and blasts through the bedroom door.:
Dave: They are here! This is going to be so BAD ASS!
:Victoria now laying under the silk sheets revealing her amazing silhouetted figure. She rolls her eyes:
Victoria: I married a child.
:Dave turns to Victoria:
Dave: I'll show you child.,
:Dave hops on the bed and the camera begins to fade out just as Dave begins to kiss his wife and pull back the sheets.:
