Post by The Very Big Supervillains on Jul 18, 2020 17:22:02 GMT -5
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎, a being so entranced in confusion and mystery than not even humanities best scientific minds can hope to understand him, stands in front of a Leicester Laundromat. Not the most spooky of places, but that's most likely the point.
He quickly rushes to the basement, past the only staff member. He wonders about how others perception of himself. As a man who only communicates via Wingdings, it's merely his actions that dictate how he is viewed.
And while he is supposed to be viewed as some horrific, eldritch bringer of destruction, most probably view him as some lanky, cosplaying Welsh kid.
Thankfully there is one who believe in ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ ability to secretly be a complete monster.
"Oh hey, Travis!! Perfect timing!!"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ walks into the room and looks at a whiteboard that's been very meticulously set up with strategy and tactics for their upcoming match.
Or at least that's how it was intended to be.
Instead it's mostly cuss words, pictures of tiny stickmen getting hit by microwaves, pictures of the microwave suing the small people and stealing their health insurance, pictures of a group of high ranking microwaves purchasing the favourite food trucks of the midgets and scrapping it and some more cuss words.
It's clear that the small stickmen are meant to be Sarah Lacklan, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan and Jaice Wilds respectively, but there's something else that catches ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s eye.
A slightly larger stickmen, with very angry eyebrows. Intimidating.
"Yep. That's Oblivion. Ol' rival of mine, done a lot of very mean, very brutal stuff to me. And, no, his eyebrows don't look like an upside 2 foot "V" but I took artistic liberty!
So what's the plan? You ask,"
William makes a grand show of pushing one whiteboard away, only to walk off and then bring around another whiteboard.
"Here's our SuperVillain plan, Travis!"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ stares at it for a good couple seconds. He then looks at William.
"Heh, excellent observation Travis. It IS blank.
Why?
Because, Chaos is our plan! Chaos is villainous and crazy and while Jaice and the 5 foot 2 Mafia always make strong, thought out plans, how they will plan for our plan if our plan is no plan? Hmm?
It's genius. War at it's purest form. If Sun Tzu knew about this, he would sue me. SUN sue me. If you can even comprehend that level of wordplay."
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ tilts his head, with a questioning look.
"Okay, my hand got cramps after I drew all the stickmen. But! I actually done a little think about.. thi- done-..
Oh shut up, brain. You know what I like about you Travis? You don't correct me when I make mistakes. You're lenient. Unlike, literally everyone else I've EVER known.
You know what else I like about you?
I am 90% sure you're a serial killer."
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ pauses at that, behind his emotionless mask, his eyes crease and he mouths out "💧︎♏︎❒︎♓︎♋︎●︎📬︎📬︎📬︎✍︎" before William quickly begins writing on the board again, now armed with his nerdy glasses.
"I have done a lot of research into triangle tag team matches. The match takes place in a square, which I don't have an opinion on, but there is a sneaky method to victory that we can go ahead and grasp!! While staying true to our lazy, supervillain ways!!"
On the whiteboard is now a picture of 4 tiny dots punching each other while two Very Big stickmen laugh either at the midget dots fighting or the fact that one of their legs is going straight through the other's head.
"Unfortunately, I can't over exert myself tonight. My gigantic biceps have a contract, they won't let me use them for more than 2 hours or else they'll do this dumb thing where I'm in insane amounts of pain and then my blood pressure rises and the -
I just won't be able to wrestle that much! So this? Is mostly on you!
But you're like 7 foot! Tall!
Neil Armstrong was 7 foot tall and he managed to jump to the moon!
The trick is to let the midgets wear themselves out. If you're stealthy enough, they'll be too busy throwing their superkicks and chains of wrestling to focus on you!! Their midget bones will be out energy by the time you being crushing 'em.
Unless of course they just target you from the start... which.. you know, that probably won't...
I mean, that's what I would do, but-..
B- But! Let's just say they DON'T do that? And then-! Well, you only have,"
William sucks in a breath.
"One problem."
William moves back to the board. One of the midgets dots from before now has very angry eyebrows.
"Oblivion.
Back in the day, me and him only fought a little but it seems like everything bad that's ever happened to me was kickstarter by this ass.
The fricking guy glued glass to his hands and then beat the absolute crap out of me with the glass and- URGH!!
He made me lose it! Lose my calm, chill giganticness that I've literally always had!
And as much as I want revenge, to powerbomb him into the earth's core and then powerbomb the earth's core into him, I can't.
That's why you must. Travis, you must use your creepiness to destroy our opponents tonight. I'm sure you can, since you're taller and all, I'm just not sure if you're EVILER this time.
Oblivion's dangerous. All of these people are! They're experts at figuring out weaknesses and exploiting them but- I can't let that happen tonight! Just can't risk it!! I can't tell you why but-"
William let's out an aggravated noise, like a stressed walrus. He takes off his crooked glasses.
"Listen..
When I was growing up, I didn't have a proper role model to teach me how to be an asshole.
I had to work hard. I had to take the hits and make sure I never once internalised it or dealt with it because ignoring pain is more of an asshole, giant thing to do.
And yeah, I kinda went insane and then to jail as a result but-..
This is gonna be your hardest match so far. The toughest midgety bitches you've ever faced and I won't be able to properly help you.
But I believe in you. I believe in you being a complete, soulless, omni-malovolent monster. Like, like- a cool one though, not like Oblivion.
But-.. after the match. After we beat those midgets, pay attention to the pe- penul- The match before the main event!!
I'll be that role model for ya.
And I'll prove that being 500 pounds and spending $400 at Wendy's every other day for the past 5 months WORKS!"
William pats him on the back, and walks out of the basement. Most likely to order some more Wendy's off Uber Eats. ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ taps his chin in confusion before shrugging again and following his tag partner.
--
17th July 2020
Hello.
Travis Wrestler here. With another entry of Travis' Journal. VBS have a tough match this week and from what my partner just said, it's gonna get tougher.
Said roughly like.. 10-11 minutes ago. Not sure how many seconds.
It's no secret Faithless and 5 foot 2 Mafia are great teams. Not just as teams but as individuals as well.
I don't agree with a lot of what William said about them. About the plan not being a plan and all the other less smart stuff he's said.
Not knocking him or me but we're not the team with the highest advantage going into this.
5 foot 2 Mafia are literally married and The Faithless are pretty terrifying but also the team that's been going after those Tag Titles the most.
Lets talk about that.
I mean, write about it.
Jaice Wilds. It's clear you've got an ever deepening chip on your shoulder but you'll be upset to know that it doesn't bring you anything. Doesn't benefit you at all.
You are a pack dog. Hunting beasts twice your size and purely out of this primal, disguised envy.
But you're not the best. "The Best" is kind of like a concept. Nobodies "The Best" tag team forever. That's subjective.
But the APW Tag Titles will make you "The Best" so you go after them. Keep going and going, even bringing in Oblivion of all people.
William's terrified of Oblivion and William's not really smart enough for proper fear, so you know it's scary.
You're both very passionate, so that I can understand. Destruction, superiority, you both want to prove stuff. Let the world know. Let the world fear.
I'm in no position to comment on your inner desires, I'm pretty new here. But you lost to the MMG. Twice. And you can plan all you want but, to the naked eye, losing simply means your worse than the victor.
Chances are whoever wins this match gets their foot higher up the contendership table. Based on how The Faithless have done, I think that by winning we'd be doing you both a favour.
Re-focus is good an all but even the most refined metal fork isn't gonna help you climb Snowdin.
And Lacklans. I don't expect Sarah to be her usual self. That Hardcore championship match made a statement. It's probably gone completely to her head. I'd let it go to my head too, but that doesn't matter.
What I'm trying to get across is both teams are kinda distracted. Not focusing on the match.
But again, it's a bit weird for me to say that.
I'm pretty new to this. I'm trying to be a giant a**hole, be all supervillainy. Which I don't think is a word.
And the asterixes are covering up a swearword. Just so you know.
I shouldn't even be covering it up! William keeps getting upset at me for being too nice and superkicking and that's upsetting.
And sure we made up and that was nice but how long until I accidentally do another nice thing to him and he gets mad? His new glasses make him look all innocent?
So, from now on, I'm gonna be really mean.
But!
Only after this match. Because I'm going to focus on the match. Focus underlined.
You guys, you do mean things but I empathise with you. Even Oblivion! People think I'm a serial killer cause I only speak in Wingdings and I'm tall. Which I'm not! So yeah I understand. Even though Oblivion kinda is that.
I also understand why you'll lose.
Seems like everybody in this match's eyes are set elsewhere. Either in adding to a gif dump, getting blood off a title, dethroning False Gods, dealing with family issues, being a secret luchador or just generally committing crimes against humanity, it feels like the only one focusing in the match is me.
Which isn't a brag, since my life is pretty boring so that's all I can focus on, but I digress.
There's strategy to this sort of thing. And I'm not saying I'm the best and VBS'll instantly win, but all of you are just in no position to win.
...
I don't have a lot of friends.
Speaking in Wingdings will do that.
But William is my friend. And he REALLY wants me to keep him healthy before he does something else. It's pretty obvious what that something is, but I'm not snitching.
So what's gonna make me win? Aren't I gonna be just as unfocused as those other teams are?
I answer this.
I shall win because I am the tall, bigasshole and you are all small midgets and I will throw you into space.
Bam! Over!
..
I don't- I'm not good worh cusses.
I'm gonna cross out my swear word.
Yeah, makes me feel better.
Okay, goodbye.
He quickly rushes to the basement, past the only staff member. He wonders about how others perception of himself. As a man who only communicates via Wingdings, it's merely his actions that dictate how he is viewed.
And while he is supposed to be viewed as some horrific, eldritch bringer of destruction, most probably view him as some lanky, cosplaying Welsh kid.
Thankfully there is one who believe in ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ ability to secretly be a complete monster.
"Oh hey, Travis!! Perfect timing!!"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ walks into the room and looks at a whiteboard that's been very meticulously set up with strategy and tactics for their upcoming match.
Or at least that's how it was intended to be.
Instead it's mostly cuss words, pictures of tiny stickmen getting hit by microwaves, pictures of the microwave suing the small people and stealing their health insurance, pictures of a group of high ranking microwaves purchasing the favourite food trucks of the midgets and scrapping it and some more cuss words.
It's clear that the small stickmen are meant to be Sarah Lacklan, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan and Jaice Wilds respectively, but there's something else that catches ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎'s eye.
A slightly larger stickmen, with very angry eyebrows. Intimidating.
"Yep. That's Oblivion. Ol' rival of mine, done a lot of very mean, very brutal stuff to me. And, no, his eyebrows don't look like an upside 2 foot "V" but I took artistic liberty!
So what's the plan? You ask,"
William makes a grand show of pushing one whiteboard away, only to walk off and then bring around another whiteboard.
"Here's our SuperVillain plan, Travis!"
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ stares at it for a good couple seconds. He then looks at William.
"Heh, excellent observation Travis. It IS blank.
Why?
Because, Chaos is our plan! Chaos is villainous and crazy and while Jaice and the 5 foot 2 Mafia always make strong, thought out plans, how they will plan for our plan if our plan is no plan? Hmm?
It's genius. War at it's purest form. If Sun Tzu knew about this, he would sue me. SUN sue me. If you can even comprehend that level of wordplay."
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ tilts his head, with a questioning look.
"Okay, my hand got cramps after I drew all the stickmen. But! I actually done a little think about.. thi- done-..
Oh shut up, brain. You know what I like about you Travis? You don't correct me when I make mistakes. You're lenient. Unlike, literally everyone else I've EVER known.
You know what else I like about you?
I am 90% sure you're a serial killer."
❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ pauses at that, behind his emotionless mask, his eyes crease and he mouths out "💧︎♏︎❒︎♓︎♋︎●︎📬︎📬︎📬︎✍︎" before William quickly begins writing on the board again, now armed with his nerdy glasses.
"I have done a lot of research into triangle tag team matches. The match takes place in a square, which I don't have an opinion on, but there is a sneaky method to victory that we can go ahead and grasp!! While staying true to our lazy, supervillain ways!!"
On the whiteboard is now a picture of 4 tiny dots punching each other while two Very Big stickmen laugh either at the midget dots fighting or the fact that one of their legs is going straight through the other's head.
"Unfortunately, I can't over exert myself tonight. My gigantic biceps have a contract, they won't let me use them for more than 2 hours or else they'll do this dumb thing where I'm in insane amounts of pain and then my blood pressure rises and the -
I just won't be able to wrestle that much! So this? Is mostly on you!
But you're like 7 foot! Tall!
Neil Armstrong was 7 foot tall and he managed to jump to the moon!
The trick is to let the midgets wear themselves out. If you're stealthy enough, they'll be too busy throwing their superkicks and chains of wrestling to focus on you!! Their midget bones will be out energy by the time you being crushing 'em.
Unless of course they just target you from the start... which.. you know, that probably won't...
I mean, that's what I would do, but-..
B- But! Let's just say they DON'T do that? And then-! Well, you only have,"
William sucks in a breath.
"One problem."
William moves back to the board. One of the midgets dots from before now has very angry eyebrows.
"Oblivion.
Back in the day, me and him only fought a little but it seems like everything bad that's ever happened to me was kickstarter by this ass.
The fricking guy glued glass to his hands and then beat the absolute crap out of me with the glass and- URGH!!
He made me lose it! Lose my calm, chill giganticness that I've literally always had!
And as much as I want revenge, to powerbomb him into the earth's core and then powerbomb the earth's core into him, I can't.
That's why you must. Travis, you must use your creepiness to destroy our opponents tonight. I'm sure you can, since you're taller and all, I'm just not sure if you're EVILER this time.
Oblivion's dangerous. All of these people are! They're experts at figuring out weaknesses and exploiting them but- I can't let that happen tonight! Just can't risk it!! I can't tell you why but-"
William let's out an aggravated noise, like a stressed walrus. He takes off his crooked glasses.
"Listen..
When I was growing up, I didn't have a proper role model to teach me how to be an asshole.
I had to work hard. I had to take the hits and make sure I never once internalised it or dealt with it because ignoring pain is more of an asshole, giant thing to do.
And yeah, I kinda went insane and then to jail as a result but-..
This is gonna be your hardest match so far. The toughest midgety bitches you've ever faced and I won't be able to properly help you.
But I believe in you. I believe in you being a complete, soulless, omni-malovolent monster. Like, like- a cool one though, not like Oblivion.
But-.. after the match. After we beat those midgets, pay attention to the pe- penul- The match before the main event!!
I'll be that role model for ya.
And I'll prove that being 500 pounds and spending $400 at Wendy's every other day for the past 5 months WORKS!"
William pats him on the back, and walks out of the basement. Most likely to order some more Wendy's off Uber Eats. ❄︎❒︎♋︎❖︎♓︎⬧︎ taps his chin in confusion before shrugging again and following his tag partner.
--
17th July 2020
Hello.
Travis Wrestler here. With another entry of Travis' Journal. VBS have a tough match this week and from what my partner just said, it's gonna get tougher.
Said roughly like.. 10-11 minutes ago. Not sure how many seconds.
It's no secret Faithless and 5 foot 2 Mafia are great teams. Not just as teams but as individuals as well.
I don't agree with a lot of what William said about them. About the plan not being a plan and all the other less smart stuff he's said.
Not knocking him or me but we're not the team with the highest advantage going into this.
5 foot 2 Mafia are literally married and The Faithless are pretty terrifying but also the team that's been going after those Tag Titles the most.
Lets talk about that.
I mean, write about it.
Jaice Wilds. It's clear you've got an ever deepening chip on your shoulder but you'll be upset to know that it doesn't bring you anything. Doesn't benefit you at all.
You are a pack dog. Hunting beasts twice your size and purely out of this primal, disguised envy.
But you're not the best. "The Best" is kind of like a concept. Nobodies "The Best" tag team forever. That's subjective.
But the APW Tag Titles will make you "The Best" so you go after them. Keep going and going, even bringing in Oblivion of all people.
William's terrified of Oblivion and William's not really smart enough for proper fear, so you know it's scary.
You're both very passionate, so that I can understand. Destruction, superiority, you both want to prove stuff. Let the world know. Let the world fear.
I'm in no position to comment on your inner desires, I'm pretty new here. But you lost to the MMG. Twice. And you can plan all you want but, to the naked eye, losing simply means your worse than the victor.
Chances are whoever wins this match gets their foot higher up the contendership table. Based on how The Faithless have done, I think that by winning we'd be doing you both a favour.
Re-focus is good an all but even the most refined metal fork isn't gonna help you climb Snowdin.
And Lacklans. I don't expect Sarah to be her usual self. That Hardcore championship match made a statement. It's probably gone completely to her head. I'd let it go to my head too, but that doesn't matter.
What I'm trying to get across is both teams are kinda distracted. Not focusing on the match.
But again, it's a bit weird for me to say that.
I'm pretty new to this. I'm trying to be a giant a**hole, be all supervillainy. Which I don't think is a word.
And the asterixes are covering up a swearword. Just so you know.
I shouldn't even be covering it up! William keeps getting upset at me for being too nice and superkicking and that's upsetting.
And sure we made up and that was nice but how long until I accidentally do another nice thing to him and he gets mad? His new glasses make him look all innocent?
So, from now on, I'm gonna be really mean.
But!
Only after this match. Because I'm going to focus on the match. Focus underlined.
You guys, you do mean things but I empathise with you. Even Oblivion! People think I'm a serial killer cause I only speak in Wingdings and I'm tall. Which I'm not! So yeah I understand. Even though Oblivion kinda is that.
I also understand why you'll lose.
Seems like everybody in this match's eyes are set elsewhere. Either in adding to a gif dump, getting blood off a title, dethroning False Gods, dealing with family issues, being a secret luchador or just generally committing crimes against humanity, it feels like the only one focusing in the match is me.
Which isn't a brag, since my life is pretty boring so that's all I can focus on, but I digress.
There's strategy to this sort of thing. And I'm not saying I'm the best and VBS'll instantly win, but all of you are just in no position to win.
...
I don't have a lot of friends.
Speaking in Wingdings will do that.
But William is my friend. And he REALLY wants me to keep him healthy before he does something else. It's pretty obvious what that something is, but I'm not snitching.
So what's gonna make me win? Aren't I gonna be just as unfocused as those other teams are?
I answer this.
I shall win because I am the tall, big
Bam! Over!
..
I don't- I'm not good worh cusses.
I'm gonna cross out my swear word.
Yeah, makes me feel better.
Okay, goodbye.
