Post by Vonn Richter on Jul 17, 2020 18:52:47 GMT -5
Vonn Richter is standing in front of a classroom. Dressed in little blue school boy shorts, a red tie, and penny loafers, he carries a sheaf of index cards. He looks at them throughout his presentation which he recites rapidly and without inflection.
“What I did during my Summer Vacation from Alpha Pro Wrestling by Vonn Richter. One: joined Trinity Wrestling. I was part of the Revival Tournament for their World Title and I would have been champ if I wasn’t cheated by the dirty politicking of Thomas Snow. The good guys still won though when my bestie and your APW Hardcore Champion Sarah Lacklan took the title with a little help from myself.”
“Also during my break from Alpha Pro I founded the tag team ‘Pinky and the Brawn’. I obviously am the Brawn of the partnership. Pinky is Anya Coyle also known as ‘The Pink Flame’. In our first match we destroyed our competition at Trinity Wrestling’s supershow Rebirth. We are an awesome team and have Trinity’s tag division on lockdown. It is only a matter of time before we earn gold. Honestly we should have been made champions at Rebirth but maybe since they changed their name to Revolution1 they didn’t have time to get new belts made for us. I will keep you posted as the situation develops.”
“The third thing I did during my Summer Vacation from APW is invade Action Wrestling. That wasn’t as fun as it sounds because it was only their B Show CruiserClash. It kind of sucked actually. The place smelled like vanilla and Flop sweat which is a bad combination. All the wrestlers were annoying tryhards except the Great Miko; she seemed cool. I went to CruiserClash to Pearl Harbor my latest arch enemy Sara Pettis who made the same mistake Daktoa Joseph Fucko did which was to challenge me and then beg off. That’s a total dick move so I repaid her by rushing the ring during her match, which she then lost. It was some bad Karma for the Child of Fate.”
“What I did NOT do while Alpha Pro was closed was take part in Lucha Bowl Showdown. I did not put on a stupid mask and call myself El Gran Diabolico. I did not fight vampires or zombies or Robot Aztec Mummies. I did not get beat by some old geezer named Ultimo Extremo. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Lucha is dumb and every luchador, technico or rudo, is a knob that deserves to be deported. Vaya con dios, you freaks. ”
“All in all a lot happened to me during the hiatus of Alpha Pro Wrestling but now that it is back in business so am I. I am still APW’s Czar of Swoll and will be passing judgement on everyone on the roster who aren’t hitting the gym and getting a clue. I am still “The Man Who Moves the Needle”, the most bankable star this company has. And I am still “The All Natural Disaster” the PED-free Mother-fucking Force of Nature that will jack up anyone who dares enter the ring with me. Thank you.”
Vonn throws the index cards over his shoulder. The ‘Tell’ portion of his presentation is complete. Now it is time for the ‘Show’.
“RRRRRRAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
He rips off his tie and runs through his standard routine of body-building poses.
TRANSITION!
It’s days later and Vonn is on the “Talk Metal” set with Alpha Pro Wrestling’s star reporter Dani Applegate. He looks bored and pouty, slouching in his chair with his twenty six inch pythons crossed on his chest. Dani starts the interview.
“Vonn Richter, thank you for coming on Talk Metal today.”
Vonn shrugs.
“You have been part of Alpha Pro Wrestling for almost three months now, and I thought it would be good to get your thoughts on your time here.”
“S’ok. When I won it was good. When I lost it sucked. Right now I’m 4-4 so everything’s kind of Even Steven.”
“What would you say is your high point of your time in Alpha?”
“Meeting Little Bit: Sarah Lacklan. Nobody else was giving me any respect, you know? I was out there hustling, trying to get my profile raised with my posedown segments, and almost nobody was willing to take part. Little Bit did though. She put me over, and she didn’t have to. She, and I guess her, uh, wife? Partner? Life mate? I don’t know what the right term is. Anyway, the 5’2” Mafia are the only people in this company who’re worth a damn. I will always have their backs.”
“And your low point?”
The genuine smile on Vonn’s face vanishes. She sinks deeper into his seat, and sulks.
“Losing to DJF. I called that asshole out for like a month, finally get a PPV match against him at Bulletproof, and didn’t get the job done. The fucker beat me, and worse: I never got my posedown contest! The Franco feud made me look like a bitch; it undid everything my four match win streak did for me. Now, I got to find a way out of this hole I made for myself.”
“Do you have any plans going forward? Any strategy for getting out of that hole?”
“Yeah. Hand out receipts. Four people have beaten me in APW: Abaddon, Jake Karnes, Jaice Wilds, and DJF. I killed Abaddon, and I got my win back against Karnes. That just leaves those jagoffs Wilds and Franco on my hit list.”
“Wait, I’m sorry? You killed Abaddon?”
“Killed; exercised; it’s the same thing for a demon, right? But yeah, the reason he’s gone is because of me.”
Dani seems skeptical. Vonn smirks.
“Prove it isn’t, babygurl.”
A-wink.
“Ok, so you want to avenge your prior losses. Then what? Is there any title that you’re focussed on?”
“Nah. I’m too jacked for the Jr. Heavyweight. And as much as she’s my boo, that Hardcore Title Sarah’s holding is trash. I mean, she going to shine it up, give it prestige, get that McMorris stank off it, but that’ll take a while. There’s the Tag belts, but unless Pinky signs on with Alpha I ain’t going after them. Got to be loyal to my partner, you know, and that means not seeing other wrestlers behind her back. The North American Title maybe? That’s got to be the most prestigious championship in the fed now, the way the World Title’s been passed around. But yeah, “The Man Who Moves the Needle” don’t need a strap to be a draw. He just needs to get off the schneid. And he will, starting this week.”
“Yes, you have a four way elimination match this Monday against Soul Reaver, JT Walker, and the Guru of Greatness Cray Mitchell. It’s interesting in that this was the kind of match you fought in your Alpha Pro debut.”
“Yeah. It’s like a do over. I lost that match, but I’m not losing this one. There ain’t no Alvara Rose fixing to screw up my plans. Now? Fuck strategy; I’m going to just wreck those three fools. Soul Reaver especially. He’s the dude who won that first elimination match. What’s he done since then? Got beat by L Verez for the Hardcore Title, then nothing. Is he even here still? Or did he make like the rest of the Bloodline and head for the hills? Guess we’ll find out Monday. Cray Mitchell is here, I mean, physically; but mentally, has he ever been? Dude’s a whack job. His biggest accomplishment in Alpha is becoming Lilli Rose’s sex slave, which, hey: nice gig. He should be happy with that. Wear that dog collar with pride if that’s your kink, you know? Accompany your mistress to the ring, beg for treats, whatever: just don’t try to wrestle. It’ll only end in heartbreak.”
“And JT Walker?”
“He lost to Jordi Trash. How big a threat can he be? Naw, these guys have either checked out or were never truly here to begin with. Imma waste them. In fact, I’m going to make a prediction: not only will I win Monday, but I will eliminate all three other guys by myself. ‘The All Natural Disaster’ gonna wipe them off the damn map.”
The taping was about to conclude.
“We’re about out of time. Any last thoughts or comments?”
“Not really. Think I covered it all.”
“Do you want to do your thing?”
“What?’
“You know, where you rip off your shirt, roar, and flex for the cameras?”
“Did that earlier,”
“You sure?”
“Yeah… unless, you want me to?”
He gave Dani a leer.
“I- I don’t have an opinion one way or another.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You don’t want ‘The Man Who Moves the Needle’ to show off his gains just for you, boo?”
Dani didn’t reply right away. Vonn took that as a ‘yes.’ He leapt from his chair, ripped off his shirt, and started posing.
“RRRRRRAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Drink me in!! Take a good long look at the majesty of me! RRRRRAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
Dani blushes and looks away.
And, scene.
“What I did during my Summer Vacation from Alpha Pro Wrestling by Vonn Richter. One: joined Trinity Wrestling. I was part of the Revival Tournament for their World Title and I would have been champ if I wasn’t cheated by the dirty politicking of Thomas Snow. The good guys still won though when my bestie and your APW Hardcore Champion Sarah Lacklan took the title with a little help from myself.”
“Also during my break from Alpha Pro I founded the tag team ‘Pinky and the Brawn’. I obviously am the Brawn of the partnership. Pinky is Anya Coyle also known as ‘The Pink Flame’. In our first match we destroyed our competition at Trinity Wrestling’s supershow Rebirth. We are an awesome team and have Trinity’s tag division on lockdown. It is only a matter of time before we earn gold. Honestly we should have been made champions at Rebirth but maybe since they changed their name to Revolution1 they didn’t have time to get new belts made for us. I will keep you posted as the situation develops.”
“The third thing I did during my Summer Vacation from APW is invade Action Wrestling. That wasn’t as fun as it sounds because it was only their B Show CruiserClash. It kind of sucked actually. The place smelled like vanilla and Flop sweat which is a bad combination. All the wrestlers were annoying tryhards except the Great Miko; she seemed cool. I went to CruiserClash to Pearl Harbor my latest arch enemy Sara Pettis who made the same mistake Daktoa Joseph Fucko did which was to challenge me and then beg off. That’s a total dick move so I repaid her by rushing the ring during her match, which she then lost. It was some bad Karma for the Child of Fate.”
“What I did NOT do while Alpha Pro was closed was take part in Lucha Bowl Showdown. I did not put on a stupid mask and call myself El Gran Diabolico. I did not fight vampires or zombies or Robot Aztec Mummies. I did not get beat by some old geezer named Ultimo Extremo. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. Lucha is dumb and every luchador, technico or rudo, is a knob that deserves to be deported. Vaya con dios, you freaks. ”
“All in all a lot happened to me during the hiatus of Alpha Pro Wrestling but now that it is back in business so am I. I am still APW’s Czar of Swoll and will be passing judgement on everyone on the roster who aren’t hitting the gym and getting a clue. I am still “The Man Who Moves the Needle”, the most bankable star this company has. And I am still “The All Natural Disaster” the PED-free Mother-fucking Force of Nature that will jack up anyone who dares enter the ring with me. Thank you.”
Vonn throws the index cards over his shoulder. The ‘Tell’ portion of his presentation is complete. Now it is time for the ‘Show’.
“RRRRRRAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
He rips off his tie and runs through his standard routine of body-building poses.
TRANSITION!
It’s days later and Vonn is on the “Talk Metal” set with Alpha Pro Wrestling’s star reporter Dani Applegate. He looks bored and pouty, slouching in his chair with his twenty six inch pythons crossed on his chest. Dani starts the interview.
“Vonn Richter, thank you for coming on Talk Metal today.”
Vonn shrugs.
“You have been part of Alpha Pro Wrestling for almost three months now, and I thought it would be good to get your thoughts on your time here.”
“S’ok. When I won it was good. When I lost it sucked. Right now I’m 4-4 so everything’s kind of Even Steven.”
“What would you say is your high point of your time in Alpha?”
“Meeting Little Bit: Sarah Lacklan. Nobody else was giving me any respect, you know? I was out there hustling, trying to get my profile raised with my posedown segments, and almost nobody was willing to take part. Little Bit did though. She put me over, and she didn’t have to. She, and I guess her, uh, wife? Partner? Life mate? I don’t know what the right term is. Anyway, the 5’2” Mafia are the only people in this company who’re worth a damn. I will always have their backs.”
“And your low point?”
The genuine smile on Vonn’s face vanishes. She sinks deeper into his seat, and sulks.
“Losing to DJF. I called that asshole out for like a month, finally get a PPV match against him at Bulletproof, and didn’t get the job done. The fucker beat me, and worse: I never got my posedown contest! The Franco feud made me look like a bitch; it undid everything my four match win streak did for me. Now, I got to find a way out of this hole I made for myself.”
“Do you have any plans going forward? Any strategy for getting out of that hole?”
“Yeah. Hand out receipts. Four people have beaten me in APW: Abaddon, Jake Karnes, Jaice Wilds, and DJF. I killed Abaddon, and I got my win back against Karnes. That just leaves those jagoffs Wilds and Franco on my hit list.”
“Wait, I’m sorry? You killed Abaddon?”
“Killed; exercised; it’s the same thing for a demon, right? But yeah, the reason he’s gone is because of me.”
Dani seems skeptical. Vonn smirks.
“Prove it isn’t, babygurl.”
A-wink.
“Ok, so you want to avenge your prior losses. Then what? Is there any title that you’re focussed on?”
“Nah. I’m too jacked for the Jr. Heavyweight. And as much as she’s my boo, that Hardcore Title Sarah’s holding is trash. I mean, she going to shine it up, give it prestige, get that McMorris stank off it, but that’ll take a while. There’s the Tag belts, but unless Pinky signs on with Alpha I ain’t going after them. Got to be loyal to my partner, you know, and that means not seeing other wrestlers behind her back. The North American Title maybe? That’s got to be the most prestigious championship in the fed now, the way the World Title’s been passed around. But yeah, “The Man Who Moves the Needle” don’t need a strap to be a draw. He just needs to get off the schneid. And he will, starting this week.”
“Yes, you have a four way elimination match this Monday against Soul Reaver, JT Walker, and the Guru of Greatness Cray Mitchell. It’s interesting in that this was the kind of match you fought in your Alpha Pro debut.”
“Yeah. It’s like a do over. I lost that match, but I’m not losing this one. There ain’t no Alvara Rose fixing to screw up my plans. Now? Fuck strategy; I’m going to just wreck those three fools. Soul Reaver especially. He’s the dude who won that first elimination match. What’s he done since then? Got beat by L Verez for the Hardcore Title, then nothing. Is he even here still? Or did he make like the rest of the Bloodline and head for the hills? Guess we’ll find out Monday. Cray Mitchell is here, I mean, physically; but mentally, has he ever been? Dude’s a whack job. His biggest accomplishment in Alpha is becoming Lilli Rose’s sex slave, which, hey: nice gig. He should be happy with that. Wear that dog collar with pride if that’s your kink, you know? Accompany your mistress to the ring, beg for treats, whatever: just don’t try to wrestle. It’ll only end in heartbreak.”
“And JT Walker?”
“He lost to Jordi Trash. How big a threat can he be? Naw, these guys have either checked out or were never truly here to begin with. Imma waste them. In fact, I’m going to make a prediction: not only will I win Monday, but I will eliminate all three other guys by myself. ‘The All Natural Disaster’ gonna wipe them off the damn map.”
The taping was about to conclude.
“We’re about out of time. Any last thoughts or comments?”
“Not really. Think I covered it all.”
“Do you want to do your thing?”
“What?’
“You know, where you rip off your shirt, roar, and flex for the cameras?”
“Did that earlier,”
“You sure?”
“Yeah… unless, you want me to?”
He gave Dani a leer.
“I- I don’t have an opinion one way or another.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“You don’t want ‘The Man Who Moves the Needle’ to show off his gains just for you, boo?”
Dani didn’t reply right away. Vonn took that as a ‘yes.’ He leapt from his chair, ripped off his shirt, and started posing.
“RRRRRRAAAAAARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Drink me in!! Take a good long look at the majesty of me! RRRRRAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”
Dani blushes and looks away.
And, scene.
