Big and The Villainous verses The Shimmering and The Lost
Jun 14, 2020 22:54:12 GMT -5
Tsukiko and The Very Big Supervillains like this
Post by djf on Jun 14, 2020 22:54:12 GMT -5
BIG AND THE VILLAINOUS VERSES THE SHIMMERING AND THE LOST
SF 41st Fryn' Pan Family Restaurant
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
4204 W 41st St
11:35 P.M
~*A black 1970 Chevy Chevelle SS is seen pulling into the parking lot of SF 41st Fryn' Pan Family Restaurant. Dakota Joseph shuts off the engine and gets out of the vehicle, putting the car keys into his right front pocket.*~
*#BLIP-BLIP#*
~*As DJ walks away from his car and towards the cafe, the car alarms is set. Dakota talks into his phone as he blogs his entry online...*~
Dakota Joseph Franco: What's up people?! This is your Lost Boy... DJF!! I'm in Sioux Falls, South Dakota!! The Hell do I want tonight?! Before I go into this diner slash cafe, I have to let you all know, I have an upcoming match tomorrow at the Sanford PREMIER Center!! For those who cannot come for the Alpha Pro show, it WILL be shown Exclusively to NETFLIX!! Now, during this transmission, I will be doing what I will call my "promo" and talking about my tag team partner, only for this particular match, Tsukio and my opponents The Very Big Villains. So, everyone, thank you for your time!! But, for now my time will have to be directed to the fatheads that are named... William the Behemoth and Travis!! Now, what I would of done, like before, was eat what my opponents would of eaten. But, yes!!! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! Who could eat like you massive sea cows?! You two enormous elephantiasis of the abdominal region are a total of 891 pounds. I might be new here. But, I'm not new to the game. I do my homework.
By the time I get into the ring, I know EVERYTHING ABOUT who I am facing inside the ring. I know EVERYTHING inside AND out. Who they are now in Alpha Pro Wrestling and BEFORE they came to APW. The one question I need to ask... Where in the Hell is Ainsley Ivanovic?! Doesn't really matter does it?! With Billy Indemouth, it doesn't really truly matter who is his partner, they will be FATTY BOOM-BOOM BATTIES!! The word around town was you two were working on a new move... The Diabetes Dive Bomb!! The only problem is, you two need to work on, when Travis comes off the top rope, for the flying leg-drop, when he lands, from the hip to the foot everything goes numb. His gigantic ass will need an ass swing, to hold up his now broken ass crack. Can you imagine how painful a broken ass crack is. Especially for someone as 'special" as Travis. Don't look at me like that. Someone that looks "SPECIFICALLY" like Travis. William looks like William!! Let's be truthful. Dat boy WON'T be wearing anything slimmer than a 40 or even 42. I'm just talking only about his individual legs. Now, the jiggly wiggly... DAT ASS!!! YOU'RE GONNA NEED EXTRA FABRIC!! Big Willie is SOOOOO big, when he is around the room... HE'S AROOOOOOUND THE ROOM!!
~*Dakota has been sat at a table. A waitress, with a partial face covering, approaches DJF.*~
Waitress: Hey honey!! What would you like to drink?
Dakota Joseph Franco: Hi!! I'll just have a water with lemon.
Waitress: Okay. I'll get that for you. Unless, are you ready to order now?
Dakota Joseph Franco: Yes. I'll take the Big Ass burger.
Waitress: That's the quarter pounder. Do you wanna upgrade that to a half pounder for an additional $2.25? How would you like that cooked?
Dakota Joseph Franco: Yes. I'll take the half pound burger. I'll take it as medium well.
Waitress: What would you want on it? And what kind of side?
Dakota Joseph Franco: Everything on the burger. I understand, adding bacon will be an extra $1.75 and adding mushrooms will be $1.25. I want those. Thank you. Caesar salad, No croutons. Can you please add jalapenos instead.
Waitress: Okay, thank you. Your order will be out shortly.
Dakota Joseph Franco: Thank you.
~*The waitress walks away. DJF picks up his cell.*~
Dakota Joseph Franco: Okay Fam, I just sat down for my grub!! Okay sports fans!! This when it gets serious!! Hey Travis!! Glass nuts!! How does it feel to hang onto your partner's success. What about this.... THE ULTIMATE THOUGHT!! You're the replacement! Knowing the fact, that your boy is STILL thinking about Ainsley Ivanovic!! That was a love nobody was going to separate!!
~*The waitress comes back with Dakota's salad and dressing. She refills his water and gives him another piece of lemon for his water. She walks away*~
Dakota Joseph Franco: But, wait Travis... you're here. Through Cancer, Pisces, and Scorpio...YOU'RE STILL HERE!! You could be on a plane going to Miami, Florida... and your ASS would STILL be here in Sioux Falls, South Dakota!! You brag about your girth. Bravo!! Try being athletic!! OH...... REALLY?! Then explain why do you two smell like shit?! Despite the fact, I loathe you two, I will give you basic hygiene advice...
~*Dakota laughs.*~
Dakota Joseph Franco: Both Tsukio and myself are effective with several ring styles!! You two lose breaths just by going to the kitchen. Go to the gym... GO TO THE GYYYYYYYYM!! You two think, the very first thing to do, is to be irresponsible?! Both Tsukiko and myself are extremely healthy. Ready to go to war with you!! We know every aspects in and out of that ring. You two only gets excited when you see onion rings... bagels with cream cheese... classic pineapple upside down cake... Sartu di Riso... donuts and deep fried calamari. While you two digest your maximum daily calorie intake times ten by 11 A.M. Tsukiko and I have already burned off breakfast. The Very Big Dummies are developing extreme egos!! You two use you disabilties as an excuse to make it worse!! You eat more... to make it worse... to fuel the fires... to intensify your professional profiles.
~*The waitress walks up to Dakota with his mega half pound burger. DJF's eyes widens and smiles. Dakota shows the burger on his blog.*~
Dakota Joseph Franco: Damn people...THIS IS A DAMN HUUUUGE ASS BURGER!! Before I eat this beast, I want to finish my thought on this match!! William the Behemoth and Travis you may have the size... BUT you DO NOT have the talent, like Dakota Joseph Franco and Tsukiko!! You two are too slow!! While we are much faster and can utilize every aspect of the ring!! You two WILL be stumbling all over the ring, we WILL be flying ALL OVER THE RING, striking you both down!! You won't even know what will be hitting you. Before you know it... YOU COULD EVEN CHOKED OUT!! Even the biggest boars can be slaughtered!! Don't be the ones, that haven't been told before hand!! Just remember... YOU'VE BEEN TOLD!! Now, everyone... IF YOU DON'T MIND... if people like me, get hungry. The Very Big Supervillains eat a celery stick! Bye for now Fam!! Everyone, stay safe!! Stay strong!!
~*Dakota proceeds to sign off from his blog.*~
***STATIC***
