Post by Steven Osbourne on Jun 7, 2020 17:08:26 GMT -5
Osbourne: may know this Judei but in part because of my victory.. over you.. I recieved a shot at the vacant North American Championship at Kingdom Come. I left England with a new shiny belt. What did you leave England with Masada? A renewed distain for fish and chips maybe? Because you certainly didn't leave with any belts. I'm sorry.. that's probably like rubbing vinegar in an open wound, right?
But you know I heard a nasty rumor. Rumor has it that the reason I wasn't able to find any women for my live British Sex Celebration was because you paid all of them off! Since we are scheduled to be partners this week I can say it.. that's not good teamwork! I mean damn man.. I would have hooked you up with a chick or two. All you had to do is ask Masada.
Steven winks.
Osbourne: Although I might had had problems trying to find women who are into ugly Asian dicks with small penises.
Steven pauses.
Osbourne: I'm joking man. I'm the super sexy boogeyman slayer. I can find women for every occasion! That's why even though I think Masada is a tiny shrivelled dick with a stick up his butt I'm confident I can find some common ground between us. I'm about to show Masada.. the meaning of what teamwork is..
That's right! I played that song four times in a row! Just for you.. Masada buddy! I did that to show just how much respect I have for you! Nothing shows what I think of you and what you stand for like that Avril song. Although she is way too hot to be like you. Maybe you're Chad Koeger? Everyone does hate Nickelback. Yep you're definitely a Chad! Want me to play it again?
Steven grins.
Osbourne: Don't worry even I'm not that cruel. I was going to get Ronnie and Amber to come out here dressed in tradational kimonos in honor of you.. But Veronica refused to wear any costume.
Veronica scowls.
Anderson: For someone like you that's too close to roleplaying. I am not your fetish.
Osbourne: Amber agreed to do it.
Anderson: Yeah.. Then she couldn't figure out how to put the kimino on!
Osbourne: That's alright though. I came out with something far better. I'm going to sumo fight.. just for you champ! I mean ex champ.
There is indeed a near 500 guy man dressed like a sumo wrestler. Only he looks Southern and has a mullet.
So you're a real sumo wrestler, correct?
The man looks confused.
No dude. I told you. I'm Joe Mathews. I'm dressed like this to protest the Coronavirus shutting down Hometown Buffet!
Steven grins a wicked grin.
Don't worry Masada.. you're gonna love this.
Steven eliminates the competition dropping the massive man with a kick to the crotch.
Osbourne: I know how much you love it when I cheat! I mean a few weeks ago when I beat you you were so impressed with my cheating skills you tried to give me credit for cheating.. even when I didn't! You really shouldn't have.
Veronica scowls again.
Would you stop fooling around and concentrate on your match. At least for a few minutes.
Osbourne: I would. But that just wouldn't be honest. This match isn't about the Big Very Supervillians. It's about my super awesome partner! That's the key to victory this week. I'm just going to rely on my partner's natural leadership skills to get us the victory. I mean we all remember that stable he used to have. Where everyone but him sucked. It took great leadership to handpick all those losers to make himself look good!
Say.. after what I saw out of you guys last week against the Storm.. maybe you have a future as Masada's new teammates! I mean c'mon after taking like 2 dozen nutshots this week, how could things get worse? I'm not joking.. I'm going to cheat as much as possible. In honor of my partner.. because he loves cheating so much. I promise not to rub his rose in the fact I that beat him. That would be petty. I promise not to wait until he hits the Masada Driver on Travis or Big Willie Style.. then tag myself in and steal the pin. Instead I'll tag myself in and small package him. Because he's got a small package, getit?
Veronica sighs.
Osbourne: I'm only kidding. I completely dedicated to our team this week. I'll even allow us to be named in your honor. From now on.. we shall be known as... The Cronic Masterbators! Because I like smoking weed.. and you like.. well you know. I'm too classy to state the obvious.
Veronica snorts.
Anderson: You? Classy?
Osbourne: Exactly right Ronnie.. I am classy! I'm even classy enough to help Masada stop his tag team losing streak by carrying him to victory this week against the Very Big Supervillians. I'm not literally going to carry them. Because you know.. I'd break my back carrying Willie or Travis. But I will lead our team to victory. All you have to do is follow my lead because when it comes to tag team wrestling I'm a bit of an expert. Don't believe me? There's videos of me tag team chicks I could show you!
Anderson: Fucking barf.
Osbourne: Perhaps you can follow my lead of self sacrifice Judei and photoshop yourself out of the match because nobody wants to see your ugly ass anyways. Because I will help you get the win but to be honest.. I'd be just as happy if the Supervillians ate you as a meal just like a Papa John's Pizza! But I'm going to show you that I'm not petty Masada.. we can put our differences aside. Long enough to win. I mean, I'm willing to be the bigger man. I just did this whole thing in honor of you Masada! I hope you appeciate my effort. Maybe it brought a tear to your eye. Maybe after this.. you'll consider wearing pink suits. Maybe you'll spend more time with geisha girls. During our match this week my goal is to make sure you enjoy life more. And if that fails.. I'm certainly going to be enjoying life the entire time. So Masada.. it's up to you to stop putting the snooze into yakuza!
But you know I heard a nasty rumor. Rumor has it that the reason I wasn't able to find any women for my live British Sex Celebration was because you paid all of them off! Since we are scheduled to be partners this week I can say it.. that's not good teamwork! I mean damn man.. I would have hooked you up with a chick or two. All you had to do is ask Masada.
Steven winks.
Osbourne: Although I might had had problems trying to find women who are into ugly Asian dicks with small penises.
Steven pauses.
Osbourne: I'm joking man. I'm the super sexy boogeyman slayer. I can find women for every occasion! That's why even though I think Masada is a tiny shrivelled dick with a stick up his butt I'm confident I can find some common ground between us. I'm about to show Masada.. the meaning of what teamwork is..
That's right! I played that song four times in a row! Just for you.. Masada buddy! I did that to show just how much respect I have for you! Nothing shows what I think of you and what you stand for like that Avril song. Although she is way too hot to be like you. Maybe you're Chad Koeger? Everyone does hate Nickelback. Yep you're definitely a Chad! Want me to play it again?
Steven grins.
Osbourne: Don't worry even I'm not that cruel. I was going to get Ronnie and Amber to come out here dressed in tradational kimonos in honor of you.. But Veronica refused to wear any costume.
Veronica scowls.
Anderson: For someone like you that's too close to roleplaying. I am not your fetish.
Osbourne: Amber agreed to do it.
Anderson: Yeah.. Then she couldn't figure out how to put the kimino on!
Osbourne: That's alright though. I came out with something far better. I'm going to sumo fight.. just for you champ! I mean ex champ.
There is indeed a near 500 guy man dressed like a sumo wrestler. Only he looks Southern and has a mullet.
So you're a real sumo wrestler, correct?
The man looks confused.
No dude. I told you. I'm Joe Mathews. I'm dressed like this to protest the Coronavirus shutting down Hometown Buffet!
Steven grins a wicked grin.
Don't worry Masada.. you're gonna love this.
Steven eliminates the competition dropping the massive man with a kick to the crotch.
Osbourne: I know how much you love it when I cheat! I mean a few weeks ago when I beat you you were so impressed with my cheating skills you tried to give me credit for cheating.. even when I didn't! You really shouldn't have.
Veronica scowls again.
Would you stop fooling around and concentrate on your match. At least for a few minutes.
Osbourne: I would. But that just wouldn't be honest. This match isn't about the Big Very Supervillians. It's about my super awesome partner! That's the key to victory this week. I'm just going to rely on my partner's natural leadership skills to get us the victory. I mean we all remember that stable he used to have. Where everyone but him sucked. It took great leadership to handpick all those losers to make himself look good!
Say.. after what I saw out of you guys last week against the Storm.. maybe you have a future as Masada's new teammates! I mean c'mon after taking like 2 dozen nutshots this week, how could things get worse? I'm not joking.. I'm going to cheat as much as possible. In honor of my partner.. because he loves cheating so much. I promise not to rub his rose in the fact I that beat him. That would be petty. I promise not to wait until he hits the Masada Driver on Travis or Big Willie Style.. then tag myself in and steal the pin. Instead I'll tag myself in and small package him. Because he's got a small package, getit?
Veronica sighs.
Osbourne: I'm only kidding. I completely dedicated to our team this week. I'll even allow us to be named in your honor. From now on.. we shall be known as... The Cronic Masterbators! Because I like smoking weed.. and you like.. well you know. I'm too classy to state the obvious.
Veronica snorts.
Anderson: You? Classy?
Osbourne: Exactly right Ronnie.. I am classy! I'm even classy enough to help Masada stop his tag team losing streak by carrying him to victory this week against the Very Big Supervillians. I'm not literally going to carry them. Because you know.. I'd break my back carrying Willie or Travis. But I will lead our team to victory. All you have to do is follow my lead because when it comes to tag team wrestling I'm a bit of an expert. Don't believe me? There's videos of me tag team chicks I could show you!
Anderson: Fucking barf.
Osbourne: Perhaps you can follow my lead of self sacrifice Judei and photoshop yourself out of the match because nobody wants to see your ugly ass anyways. Because I will help you get the win but to be honest.. I'd be just as happy if the Supervillians ate you as a meal just like a Papa John's Pizza! But I'm going to show you that I'm not petty Masada.. we can put our differences aside. Long enough to win. I mean, I'm willing to be the bigger man. I just did this whole thing in honor of you Masada! I hope you appeciate my effort. Maybe it brought a tear to your eye. Maybe after this.. you'll consider wearing pink suits. Maybe you'll spend more time with geisha girls. During our match this week my goal is to make sure you enjoy life more. And if that fails.. I'm certainly going to be enjoying life the entire time. So Masada.. it's up to you to stop putting the snooze into yakuza!
