Post by Steven Osbourne on May 31, 2020 14:13:08 GMT -5
The studio audience applauds. It sounds like it's been added in post production however. Come to think of it, these days the studio audience has probably also been CGIed in. But still Steven Osbourne stands on the stage in front of his crowd.. his people. He smiles his shit eating grin and addresses the crowd.
Osbourne: Due to the runaway overnight success of my new product Nev-R Break Osbourne brand condoms.. the only condoms in the world that never make you ask.. who's your daddy? Because if you use em.. you ain't gonna be a daddy! With patented Osbourne brand Spermicide the fun never has to end due to
Steven shudders.
Osbourne: Babies. But like I was saying.. my condoms have been selling like hotcakes since I brought them on television last week so I figured I'd use some of that money and run an informercial introducing my new product.. please welcome my model.. the smoking hot Veronica Anderson.
Veronica steps onto the stage a huge scowl on her face.
Anderson: I'm not wearing that. No self respecting woman would wear that!
As if on cue Amber Del Vallee struts out wearing 10 inch heels, a way too short and tight mini skirt, and tight and short shirt. As well as Steven's new product.. a pink facemask with the caption "My other mask is Steven Osbourne's Cock"
ADV: I think it's like so cute.
Osbourne: For the low low price of $19.69 you too can use the power of Steven Osbourne's cock.. to protect your face!
Anderson: That's disgusting. Do you even think before you speak?
Osbourne: Why would I filter myself? You know I always offer pure, unadulterated Osbourne, Ronnie!
Anderson: Makes me want to puke!
ADV: Like you sound sick. You could use a mask.
Anderson: It was an expression of speech!
Before things can get worse A UPS guy runs onstage holding a rose, a pair of noise reduction headphones, a baseball bat, and a note. He hands the objects to Veronica who reads the note out loud with a chuckle.
Anderson: Good luck surviving Osbourne. Maybe these will help.
Steven immediately responds.. low blowing the delivery guy!
Osbourne: Looks like I just eliminated the competition! Gave you a little C.O.D. Cockblocking On Delivery!
Anderson: These are obviously not from the UPS driver.
Amber helps the UPS driver up and off stage as Veronica and Steven continue their argument.
Osbourne: I know it's not the UPS driver but I shot the messenger anyways! A few weeks ago Mike Mathews was openly flirting with you.. now he's obviously the one who's sending you gifts!
Anderson: If this was him.. his gift was a hell of a lot better then the mask you gave me.
Steven pouts for a second until Veronica cuts the tension with laughter.
Anderson: Steven.. you know there's only one thing I'm interested in..
Osbourne: Size matters, right Ronnie?
Anderson: Exactly.
Osbourne: Lucky for me I have a huge..
Anderson: Don't say it. You know that's not the size I'm after. I'm only interested.. in the size of the paycheque. If Sitch can make me more money.. well as you know money talks.
And with that. Veronica takes her gifts and heads off stage leaving Osbourne fuming. She walks towards the exit where Amber is helping the UPS guy apply ice to his wounded area.
ADV: What was that all about?
Veronica grins.
Anderson: Proper motivation.
ADV: I don't like get it.
Anderson: Steven isn't the only one who can play mind games. Because of that.. Steven is going to tear Mike Mathews to pieces.
As Veronica exits the scene cuts back to the stage where Steven paces working himself into a fury.
Osbourne: You made this personal! I want you to remember that Mike when our match is over this week. When you are left a bloody, beaten heap in the middle of the ring. You did this to yourself when you tried to poach my manager! You don't respect me. You look at me and you don't see beyond surface level. You see a 200 pound man with a sweet porn statche and a pension for wearing pink. Real men wear pink! You know why? Because if you wear pink and are as flamboyant as I am people constantly challenge you! When I step into a room all eyes are on me and that's exactly how I want it. People look at Mathews and see what they expect to see as a tough guy. But I'm really a tough guy. I look like this.. I make myself an easy target and nobody has ever been able to shut me up. Sure, I've been beaten but nobody has ever been able to take that confidence away from me. The thought that I could take on anyone in the world and lick them.
Steven grins.
Osbourne: Then lick their girlfriend, sister, and any other hot girl in their lives as well. The fact is Sitch you wanted to try and hit me where it hurts. Right in the manhood. But you made a mistake. You underestimated how hard I'm going to hit back. You were checking out my package.. but you weren't impressed. I'm not really surprised.. you arent't much of a deep thinker are you Sitch? That's the real reason you always get into this troublesome situations because you don't have the ability to think your way through them.
Unfortunately for you that's my biggest strength. When you're built like a white Steve Urkel you aren't going to outmuscle anybody.. but that doesn't mean I can't outskill them and outthink them. You're facing me in a no disqualification match and you probably think that's to your advantage, right? Ask Spartan, Zombie McMorris and Alex Richards what it's like to face me in a no holds barred match. A guy like you.. he doesn't realize the possibilities a no disqualification match brings. You just think.. duh.. I can find weapon.. and use weapon. That's not what a no rules match is about. See to me it's an opportunity to get creative. During a normal match I have to figure out different ways to break the rules and use my cheats without getting caught. In a no dq match there are no limits to what I can do! If I want hold the ropes during a pinfall attempt.. totally legal. I don't even need to hide those chains or brass knuckles.. I can show them to the ref.. then use them. That's not even getting creative. I could hire some thugs to attack Mathews mid match. I could use barbed wire to tie him to a table.. then return to the ring and win by count out. I could literally bribe the referee to only count my pins. That's just off the top of my head. Don't worry I'll save my best ideas for the match.
Steven grins.
Osbourne: This is for the North American title and l'm gonna be honest.. I've always been a gold digger. So let's look at what I've done to win titles in the past. My first championship.. the Junior Heavyweight Title.. Amber and Veronica yanked me out of the way of a Lucy Sixx flying elbow and I debuted my new finisher.. The Missionary Position to win the championship. My second Junior heavyweight championship.. Tsukiko and I went for the same move at the same time.. a crossbody. I fought through the pain because I wanted it more.. got my ass up and drilled her with the Love Em and Leave Em piledriver. My first North American championship.. I fought against Spartan in a hardcore match. We fought on top of a 20 foot ladder. I won that fight and took him down with the missionary position through a stack of chairs. Three titles.. I won one through cheating.. the second because of my heart and the third because of sheer brutality. How many titles have you won Sitch? Sure, you can say you haven't been here as long as me.. and that's true. But all of those people had been here for a couple of short months when they won their titles.. and then they all lost them to me! So really what's your excuse for your lack of success?
Steven holds up a hand.
Osbourne: You don't have to answer that. But you should think about this. All of those people.. I had nothing against them except for the fact they had a title I wanted. I was willing to go that far in order to achieve my championship dreams. But you made it personal. So how much further am I going to be willing to go against you? Only one man tried to make it personal against me.. Alex Richards. I tried to put him through a stack of flaming tables. You might think the fact I couldn't gives you hope Mike. You're almost as big as Alex Richards after all. But Alex Richards is a WCF, UCI and Action Wrestling world champion and that man just bearly beat me! You not only failed to win a single title around here but you couldn't even defeat a Chuckie Cheese playground!
Steven grows even more agitated
Osbourne: That's how you chose to allow yourself to be portrayed on television you dumb bastard! The guy too fucking stupid to stay off a play area designed for children! This is the guy who they brought to challenge me for the North American Championship.. this is the guy who thinks he can take MY title from me. You aren't good enough to be North American champion and you certainly aren't good enough for Veronica!
The normally silent cameraman who has literally never said a word during any Osbourne promo simply can't remain silent any longer.
Cameraman: Wait a second.. do you actually like Veronica. Because if you do.. constantly picking up other women in front of her probably isn't the way to go.
Osbourne: What? No dude! I should eliminate the competition on you just for suggesting such a thing!
Cameraman: Please don't.
Osbourne: Veronica saved me from that creepy boudlebot worshipping cult so the least I can do is return the favor and save her from Mike Mathews. How do I do that? I prove that he isn't worthy of her time by destroying him at Kingdom Come. He can say I'm not good enough for Ronnie but I know he ain't. After that four way elimination he blamed my cheating as the reason he didn't win. But I'm here to tell him the true reason he lost.. he should be blaming himself. He had the chance to earn a North American title shot.. so you would think he'd spend tons of time researching his opponents.. learning all about them. Nope.. he barely even mentioned my name before the match. He dismissed me as a party guy who just wanted to get laid. Which to be fair is true. But he also dismissed me as a real threat. There's plenty of footage of my matches out there. But he never watched them. He just took one look at me and figured it was going to be an easy victory. Well he was right. It was an easy victory.. for me. All I had to do was wait for Sitch to think he had the match in the bag.. then a quick crucifix and a handful of tights and the match was over. Sure, you screamed about how I cheated but that's your fault too. You could have watched a dozen matches of mine and seen how I cheat. It ain't my fault you decided to take a road trip around North America instead of taking the match seriously. Everything that happened to you that night was your own fault and you chose to deal with it like a child throwing a temper tantrum instead of an adult. Did you hear me whining about the fact I had to face three people one of them a hundred pounds bigger then me? Nope.. I just did what I always do. Got the job done by any means possible.
Steven cocks an eyebrow.
Osbourne: Speaking of research I did some on your previous matches. Including a victory you were so proud of against Soul Reaver. You were losing that match Mikey until your friend Ryan Slater tripped up Soul Reaver which allowed you to capitalize and pick up the victory. You claimed you outsmarted him. So.. let me get this straight.. if I break the rules it's cheating.. but when you do it's smart. You know what I call that Sitch.. I call that hypocritical. What kind of a role model are you? Telling the kids to do as I say not as I do like some terrible parent. Believe me.. I know terrible parents.. I've hooked up with a lot of single moms in bars. See.. the difference is, I may be a scumbag, but at least I'm honest about what I am! I'm not trying to fool anyone. You Sitch.. you don't put the work in and when it bites you in the ass you make excuses. What a hero you are! You aren't someone the fans should get behind.. you aren't someone who deserves the second highest title in the APW. You certainly aren't someone who deserves to have the beautiful Veronica Anderson by your side.
Cameraman: Ha! You called her beautiful.
Osbourne: I warned you..
Steven eliminates the competition with a quick elbow to the groin before continuing.
Osbourne: You're lazy. Instead of actually earning a re match with me you went and hit on my manager. Which also makes you a hypocrite. When you did that you proved that you aren't even any better then me morally. I sleep with lots of slutty girls because I'm a man whore.
Steven shrugs.
Osbourne: Well I am. I do what my big Stevie wants to do and as a result I have fun every single damn day or my life. You, on the other hand, claim to be a male feminist and then in the same breathe infer that you sleep with so called "real" women that take control and hit hard harder then you. That doesn't exactly seem respectful to me. I've noticed something.. it seems like everything you claim to be always seems to turn out to be a lie. You're all about this nice guy image but it really is just an image. The only thing about you I actually think is real is the bumbling goof who got stuck in a slide a few weeks ago. Maybe I'll bring out one of those plastic tunnels during our no dq match stick you in it and let you wear yourself out trying to escape before scoring the pin.
Steven shakes his head.
Osbourne: Nope.. too easy. After the stunt you pulled I'm not going to make this easy on you. Last time I simply scored the pin. This time I'm going to make a statement. I'm going to physically beat the fact that I'm better then you into you. You beat Lex Collins in a match he didn't care about. That doesn't mean you deserve this title match. That just means Lex Collins is an unprofessional shit who can't take care of business. I beat Smith Jones, Masada Judei. Two world champions. Just because you don't care to look beyond surface level doesn't mean you can pretend I'm not world title level talent. I'm going to rub your face in that fact this week. I'm a two time junior heavyweight champion already, I'm about to kick your ass for the second time to become North American champion for a second time. Maybe I'll celebrate by having sex with Ronnie a second time!
The cameraman groans and says..
Cameraman: Not likely.
The cameraman braces for a second blow but instead Steven nods.
Osbourne: Probably true. At least I can admit when I'm beat. Which is more than I can say for you Mathews. This is going to sound funny coming from me but you aren't immature enough to be North American champion. You got all that advice from the Architects but you never learned the most important lesson of them all. Never take anything or anyone for granted. I was here before the Architects.. I'm here after the Architects. When APW opens their hall of fame I'll be there as well. Sleeping with some hot blonde on top of my own hall of fame bust. Sleazy? You bet. But I'm true to myself and until you learn that lesson you'll never have a women like Veronica by your side, even as a manager, and you'll never have the North American championship. But hey look at the bright side.. someday I'll be world champion and that means the North American title will be vacant again. Maybe then you'll be ready. Until then I'm Steven Osbourne.. I'm the guy who's going to deliver a triple kick to the nuts to you at Kingdom Come. No title.. No Ronnie.. and yeah the other one.. is a literal kick to the nuts. I might even put on a steel toed boot again before doing it.
Osbourne: After this match you won't be able to hide from the truth. The North American title didn't swing your way not because I cheated, even though I am a master cheater, but because I'm better then you. Don't feel bad, I'm better then the Architects too. If your heroes weren't good enough to beat me what chance do you have? What do you know? In spite of how much you pissed me off I still came up with your next excuse for losing. Your welcome.
Cheesy informercial music plays and Amber comes out still modelling the mask. Steven kisses the mask as the toll free phone number pops up 1-800-HOT-SEXX as the scene fades to black.
Osbourne: Due to the runaway overnight success of my new product Nev-R Break Osbourne brand condoms.. the only condoms in the world that never make you ask.. who's your daddy? Because if you use em.. you ain't gonna be a daddy! With patented Osbourne brand Spermicide the fun never has to end due to
Steven shudders.
Osbourne: Babies. But like I was saying.. my condoms have been selling like hotcakes since I brought them on television last week so I figured I'd use some of that money and run an informercial introducing my new product.. please welcome my model.. the smoking hot Veronica Anderson.
Veronica steps onto the stage a huge scowl on her face.
Anderson: I'm not wearing that. No self respecting woman would wear that!
As if on cue Amber Del Vallee struts out wearing 10 inch heels, a way too short and tight mini skirt, and tight and short shirt. As well as Steven's new product.. a pink facemask with the caption "My other mask is Steven Osbourne's Cock"
ADV: I think it's like so cute.
Osbourne: For the low low price of $19.69 you too can use the power of Steven Osbourne's cock.. to protect your face!
Anderson: That's disgusting. Do you even think before you speak?
Osbourne: Why would I filter myself? You know I always offer pure, unadulterated Osbourne, Ronnie!
Anderson: Makes me want to puke!
ADV: Like you sound sick. You could use a mask.
Anderson: It was an expression of speech!
Before things can get worse A UPS guy runs onstage holding a rose, a pair of noise reduction headphones, a baseball bat, and a note. He hands the objects to Veronica who reads the note out loud with a chuckle.
Anderson: Good luck surviving Osbourne. Maybe these will help.
Steven immediately responds.. low blowing the delivery guy!
Osbourne: Looks like I just eliminated the competition! Gave you a little C.O.D. Cockblocking On Delivery!
Anderson: These are obviously not from the UPS driver.
Amber helps the UPS driver up and off stage as Veronica and Steven continue their argument.
Osbourne: I know it's not the UPS driver but I shot the messenger anyways! A few weeks ago Mike Mathews was openly flirting with you.. now he's obviously the one who's sending you gifts!
Anderson: If this was him.. his gift was a hell of a lot better then the mask you gave me.
Steven pouts for a second until Veronica cuts the tension with laughter.
Anderson: Steven.. you know there's only one thing I'm interested in..
Osbourne: Size matters, right Ronnie?
Anderson: Exactly.
Osbourne: Lucky for me I have a huge..
Anderson: Don't say it. You know that's not the size I'm after. I'm only interested.. in the size of the paycheque. If Sitch can make me more money.. well as you know money talks.
And with that. Veronica takes her gifts and heads off stage leaving Osbourne fuming. She walks towards the exit where Amber is helping the UPS guy apply ice to his wounded area.
ADV: What was that all about?
Veronica grins.
Anderson: Proper motivation.
ADV: I don't like get it.
Anderson: Steven isn't the only one who can play mind games. Because of that.. Steven is going to tear Mike Mathews to pieces.
As Veronica exits the scene cuts back to the stage where Steven paces working himself into a fury.
Osbourne: You made this personal! I want you to remember that Mike when our match is over this week. When you are left a bloody, beaten heap in the middle of the ring. You did this to yourself when you tried to poach my manager! You don't respect me. You look at me and you don't see beyond surface level. You see a 200 pound man with a sweet porn statche and a pension for wearing pink. Real men wear pink! You know why? Because if you wear pink and are as flamboyant as I am people constantly challenge you! When I step into a room all eyes are on me and that's exactly how I want it. People look at Mathews and see what they expect to see as a tough guy. But I'm really a tough guy. I look like this.. I make myself an easy target and nobody has ever been able to shut me up. Sure, I've been beaten but nobody has ever been able to take that confidence away from me. The thought that I could take on anyone in the world and lick them.
Steven grins.
Osbourne: Then lick their girlfriend, sister, and any other hot girl in their lives as well. The fact is Sitch you wanted to try and hit me where it hurts. Right in the manhood. But you made a mistake. You underestimated how hard I'm going to hit back. You were checking out my package.. but you weren't impressed. I'm not really surprised.. you arent't much of a deep thinker are you Sitch? That's the real reason you always get into this troublesome situations because you don't have the ability to think your way through them.
Unfortunately for you that's my biggest strength. When you're built like a white Steve Urkel you aren't going to outmuscle anybody.. but that doesn't mean I can't outskill them and outthink them. You're facing me in a no disqualification match and you probably think that's to your advantage, right? Ask Spartan, Zombie McMorris and Alex Richards what it's like to face me in a no holds barred match. A guy like you.. he doesn't realize the possibilities a no disqualification match brings. You just think.. duh.. I can find weapon.. and use weapon. That's not what a no rules match is about. See to me it's an opportunity to get creative. During a normal match I have to figure out different ways to break the rules and use my cheats without getting caught. In a no dq match there are no limits to what I can do! If I want hold the ropes during a pinfall attempt.. totally legal. I don't even need to hide those chains or brass knuckles.. I can show them to the ref.. then use them. That's not even getting creative. I could hire some thugs to attack Mathews mid match. I could use barbed wire to tie him to a table.. then return to the ring and win by count out. I could literally bribe the referee to only count my pins. That's just off the top of my head. Don't worry I'll save my best ideas for the match.
Steven grins.
Osbourne: This is for the North American title and l'm gonna be honest.. I've always been a gold digger. So let's look at what I've done to win titles in the past. My first championship.. the Junior Heavyweight Title.. Amber and Veronica yanked me out of the way of a Lucy Sixx flying elbow and I debuted my new finisher.. The Missionary Position to win the championship. My second Junior heavyweight championship.. Tsukiko and I went for the same move at the same time.. a crossbody. I fought through the pain because I wanted it more.. got my ass up and drilled her with the Love Em and Leave Em piledriver. My first North American championship.. I fought against Spartan in a hardcore match. We fought on top of a 20 foot ladder. I won that fight and took him down with the missionary position through a stack of chairs. Three titles.. I won one through cheating.. the second because of my heart and the third because of sheer brutality. How many titles have you won Sitch? Sure, you can say you haven't been here as long as me.. and that's true. But all of those people had been here for a couple of short months when they won their titles.. and then they all lost them to me! So really what's your excuse for your lack of success?
Steven holds up a hand.
Osbourne: You don't have to answer that. But you should think about this. All of those people.. I had nothing against them except for the fact they had a title I wanted. I was willing to go that far in order to achieve my championship dreams. But you made it personal. So how much further am I going to be willing to go against you? Only one man tried to make it personal against me.. Alex Richards. I tried to put him through a stack of flaming tables. You might think the fact I couldn't gives you hope Mike. You're almost as big as Alex Richards after all. But Alex Richards is a WCF, UCI and Action Wrestling world champion and that man just bearly beat me! You not only failed to win a single title around here but you couldn't even defeat a Chuckie Cheese playground!
Steven grows even more agitated
Osbourne: That's how you chose to allow yourself to be portrayed on television you dumb bastard! The guy too fucking stupid to stay off a play area designed for children! This is the guy who they brought to challenge me for the North American Championship.. this is the guy who thinks he can take MY title from me. You aren't good enough to be North American champion and you certainly aren't good enough for Veronica!
The normally silent cameraman who has literally never said a word during any Osbourne promo simply can't remain silent any longer.
Cameraman: Wait a second.. do you actually like Veronica. Because if you do.. constantly picking up other women in front of her probably isn't the way to go.
Osbourne: What? No dude! I should eliminate the competition on you just for suggesting such a thing!
Cameraman: Please don't.
Osbourne: Veronica saved me from that creepy boudlebot worshipping cult so the least I can do is return the favor and save her from Mike Mathews. How do I do that? I prove that he isn't worthy of her time by destroying him at Kingdom Come. He can say I'm not good enough for Ronnie but I know he ain't. After that four way elimination he blamed my cheating as the reason he didn't win. But I'm here to tell him the true reason he lost.. he should be blaming himself. He had the chance to earn a North American title shot.. so you would think he'd spend tons of time researching his opponents.. learning all about them. Nope.. he barely even mentioned my name before the match. He dismissed me as a party guy who just wanted to get laid. Which to be fair is true. But he also dismissed me as a real threat. There's plenty of footage of my matches out there. But he never watched them. He just took one look at me and figured it was going to be an easy victory. Well he was right. It was an easy victory.. for me. All I had to do was wait for Sitch to think he had the match in the bag.. then a quick crucifix and a handful of tights and the match was over. Sure, you screamed about how I cheated but that's your fault too. You could have watched a dozen matches of mine and seen how I cheat. It ain't my fault you decided to take a road trip around North America instead of taking the match seriously. Everything that happened to you that night was your own fault and you chose to deal with it like a child throwing a temper tantrum instead of an adult. Did you hear me whining about the fact I had to face three people one of them a hundred pounds bigger then me? Nope.. I just did what I always do. Got the job done by any means possible.
Steven cocks an eyebrow.
Osbourne: Speaking of research I did some on your previous matches. Including a victory you were so proud of against Soul Reaver. You were losing that match Mikey until your friend Ryan Slater tripped up Soul Reaver which allowed you to capitalize and pick up the victory. You claimed you outsmarted him. So.. let me get this straight.. if I break the rules it's cheating.. but when you do it's smart. You know what I call that Sitch.. I call that hypocritical. What kind of a role model are you? Telling the kids to do as I say not as I do like some terrible parent. Believe me.. I know terrible parents.. I've hooked up with a lot of single moms in bars. See.. the difference is, I may be a scumbag, but at least I'm honest about what I am! I'm not trying to fool anyone. You Sitch.. you don't put the work in and when it bites you in the ass you make excuses. What a hero you are! You aren't someone the fans should get behind.. you aren't someone who deserves the second highest title in the APW. You certainly aren't someone who deserves to have the beautiful Veronica Anderson by your side.
Cameraman: Ha! You called her beautiful.
Osbourne: I warned you..
Steven eliminates the competition with a quick elbow to the groin before continuing.
Osbourne: You're lazy. Instead of actually earning a re match with me you went and hit on my manager. Which also makes you a hypocrite. When you did that you proved that you aren't even any better then me morally. I sleep with lots of slutty girls because I'm a man whore.
Steven shrugs.
Osbourne: Well I am. I do what my big Stevie wants to do and as a result I have fun every single damn day or my life. You, on the other hand, claim to be a male feminist and then in the same breathe infer that you sleep with so called "real" women that take control and hit hard harder then you. That doesn't exactly seem respectful to me. I've noticed something.. it seems like everything you claim to be always seems to turn out to be a lie. You're all about this nice guy image but it really is just an image. The only thing about you I actually think is real is the bumbling goof who got stuck in a slide a few weeks ago. Maybe I'll bring out one of those plastic tunnels during our no dq match stick you in it and let you wear yourself out trying to escape before scoring the pin.
Steven shakes his head.
Osbourne: Nope.. too easy. After the stunt you pulled I'm not going to make this easy on you. Last time I simply scored the pin. This time I'm going to make a statement. I'm going to physically beat the fact that I'm better then you into you. You beat Lex Collins in a match he didn't care about. That doesn't mean you deserve this title match. That just means Lex Collins is an unprofessional shit who can't take care of business. I beat Smith Jones, Masada Judei. Two world champions. Just because you don't care to look beyond surface level doesn't mean you can pretend I'm not world title level talent. I'm going to rub your face in that fact this week. I'm a two time junior heavyweight champion already, I'm about to kick your ass for the second time to become North American champion for a second time. Maybe I'll celebrate by having sex with Ronnie a second time!
The cameraman groans and says..
Cameraman: Not likely.
The cameraman braces for a second blow but instead Steven nods.
Osbourne: Probably true. At least I can admit when I'm beat. Which is more than I can say for you Mathews. This is going to sound funny coming from me but you aren't immature enough to be North American champion. You got all that advice from the Architects but you never learned the most important lesson of them all. Never take anything or anyone for granted. I was here before the Architects.. I'm here after the Architects. When APW opens their hall of fame I'll be there as well. Sleeping with some hot blonde on top of my own hall of fame bust. Sleazy? You bet. But I'm true to myself and until you learn that lesson you'll never have a women like Veronica by your side, even as a manager, and you'll never have the North American championship. But hey look at the bright side.. someday I'll be world champion and that means the North American title will be vacant again. Maybe then you'll be ready. Until then I'm Steven Osbourne.. I'm the guy who's going to deliver a triple kick to the nuts to you at Kingdom Come. No title.. No Ronnie.. and yeah the other one.. is a literal kick to the nuts. I might even put on a steel toed boot again before doing it.
Osbourne: After this match you won't be able to hide from the truth. The North American title didn't swing your way not because I cheated, even though I am a master cheater, but because I'm better then you. Don't feel bad, I'm better then the Architects too. If your heroes weren't good enough to beat me what chance do you have? What do you know? In spite of how much you pissed me off I still came up with your next excuse for losing. Your welcome.
Cheesy informercial music plays and Amber comes out still modelling the mask. Steven kisses the mask as the toll free phone number pops up 1-800-HOT-SEXX as the scene fades to black.
