Giggles N Friendz! Ep 3: Teamwork!
May 29, 2020 22:56:35 GMT -5
BonnieBlue, Jubei, and 2 more like this
Post by Giggles! on May 29, 2020 22:56:35 GMT -5
The scene opens on the darkness of Giggles’ basement. Two kids in their late teens stand in front of the camera, each holding cardboard signs with Sharpie written on them. They both sing their intro song while they take turns holding up their signs
(RiNGmasTer Issac BaRnuM PresseNTs:)
(GiGGels N Freindz!)
(StarRing Giggels!)
(NTommy Timmy N TinA BloOom)
(Episod 3 Teemwerk!)
The shot cuts to everyone’s favorite creepy monochromatic clown Giggles on his hands and knees on the floor of The Basement™. Standing on his back is Timothy Bloom with his twin sister Tina on his shoulders. This human tower is all so the trio can screw in a burnt-out lightbulb, something that isn’t entirely necessary given Giggles’ size as well as the somewhat low ceiling.
Giggles turns his head agonizingly slow to look into the camera. His eyes go wide in excitement.
OH! Hello!
Giggles springs to his feet, forcing Timothy and Tina to tumble backward, landing hard on their backs.
Name is Giggles, but you may call him Giggles!!!
Giggles laughs hysterically at his own joke.
And these are Giggles friends! She is Tina and Timothy is he! They are the Bloom Twins! Say hello!!!
Giggles looks back at the twins, still sprawled out on the ground. He scratches his head thoughtfully for a moment. Suddenly the lightbulb over his head flashes to life as he seems to have an epiphany. He rushes over to the twins and lifts an arm of each of them and waves them at the camera and imitating their voices.
Hello there! We are the Blooms and we are the cooliest!!!
He laughs and returns to his own voice.
Yes! Yes, they are! OOOOOO LOOKIE OVER THERE!
The clown bounces to his feet and rushes over to a corner where the carny in the red overcoat and black top hat is observing.
This is Ringmaster Isaac Barnum! He is also the cooliest!!!
Barnum gives the camera a modest smile and a subdued wave.
Greetings, viewer. I do hope you are well.
Giggles and Friendz are currently performing a teensy bit of home improvement! We find it is easier to accomplish difficult tasks when we work as a team! TeAmWoRk MaKeS tHe DrEaMwOrK!!!
You see, each and every person is SuPeR dUpEr powerful by themselves. But! When you come together as a firm, solid unit, there is no telling what you can accomplish!!! That is why Giggles is So ExCiTeD to team up with his wonderful new friends Mr. Cray Mitchell and Mr. Vonn Richter!!! Team Cool GuyZ are set to take on the forces of EVIL! Mr. Aaron Blaze Mr. Jordi Trash and Mr. Deejayeff! Hehehe!
They are the League of Justice! The Revengers! Mr. Richter is the jolly green Hogan! Mr. Mitchell is the Metal Male! And Giggles is the Brown Recluse! Superheroes!!! Giggles has always love love loved superheroes! Almost as much as he loves promoting wonderful products on his show!
The twins cross the shot like Wayne and Garth in Wayne’s World while “SEEMLESS TRANSITION” flashes on the screen in comic sans.
Tina and Timothy sit at a poorly built bar set up in The Basement™. It’s a rare moment where they don’t speak as one.
I simply do not see how Fortnite Battle Royale could be better than Minecraft Survival Games, Brother Dearest.
It is better because there are more players. 100 compared to only 24. The challenge is more difficult, Sister Dearest.
Giggles slowly rises from under the bar, vigorously cleaning a glass with a dirty washrag. He speaks in a gruff voice.
What can Giggles getcha, pardnahs??
He spits into a bucket, making a “pa-ting” sound with his voice.
The twins look at each other in confusion for a moment, unsure of how to answer.
Saber-tooth tiger got your tongue??
Giggles laughs hysterically.
How about Giggles gives the twins some of THIS!
Giggles holds up what looks like a beer bottle.
Baby’s First Bottle! The non-alcoholic beer for kiddies produced by Alpha Professional Restyling's own Seth Lerch!!! FuN fOr ThE wHoLe FaMiLy!!!
The tall clown slams two glasses onto the counter, causing chunks of glass to scatter across the counter. Giggles pours some Little Lagers into the remnants of each glass and nudges them towards the kids. They each take a glass, careful not to cut their hands. They take a sip, also careful not to cut their lips. Neither one seems to like the taste of beer too much.
Giggles just laughs again.
Even Giggles loves it!!!
The clown downs the rest of the bottle and smashes it onto the ground. Suddenly he starts to stumble and sway.
Giggles may have… had too much…
Giggles trips and smashes through the bar.
... How did he get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer?
Isaac Barnum walks into the shot and kneels down to check on his client. Once he determines he is all right, he stands and turns towards the camera.
Ah… Well… While we get the old clown back on his feet, here is a word from myself. Please do enjoy.
The shot switches to a dimly lit warehouse. Inside, Ringmaster Isaac Barnum walks through the space, weaving in between the many people who are elegantly painting banners. Many of them feature some variations of “Isaac Barnum’s traveling circus!” written in multitudes of bright colors. Amongst these talented artists, Giggles and the twins laid on their stomachs, their feet swaying in the air, drawing stick figures and animals with crayons.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Pay no mind to the busy work behind me, as it has nothing to do with the topic at hand tonight. It is a… ah… special project.
Barnum gives a smirk and a wink.
But back to business… Alpha Professional Wrestling presents: Kingdom Come! The Pay-Per-View debut of your favorite clown and mine, the great Giggles! He is tasked with teaming up with “The Guru of Glee” Cray Mitchell and “The Man Who Moves the Needle” Vonn Richter. And all I have to say to you boys is… I pray you don’t get in between Giggles and his… playmates. Because he is going to… “play”... with anyone in his way. And as you have seen, my Giggles plays rough.
Now, my Giggles may be a clown, but his opponents this week are the real jokers. Firstly, Dakota Joseph Franco. DJF. This man has claimed that he will show my Giggles a joke when they meet in the ring. Allow me to be frank with you, Dakota. I think you’re right. You will show the jubilant jester a joke. However, that joke will be you.
You see, Mr. Franco, my small portion of this episode of Giggles and Friends alone will be longer than the entirety of one of your entire promotional videos. That does not bode well for you and your team. You do not have the showmanship necessary to keep a crowd entertained. You speak so little, say even less, and manage to not back up any of it inside of that ring. It is embarrassing, son. Quite embarrassing. I would venture to say you are the most dispensable member of your team. But do not worry, Giggles treats all of his victims… *ahem* playmates… equally.
Next is a man who’s name fits his level of talent to a T. Jordi Trash. Vulgar, brash, reckless. Also ignorant, undisciplined, and incompetent. Your petulant scrums in the streets is nothing like a professional contest such as this. These are highly trained athletes you are stepping into the ring with. These are brutalizers. What worked for you back then will simply get you eaten alive today. Aside from your meaningless brawling and propensity for cursing, I must admit I do not see anything outstanding about you, child. If you would like Ringmaster Issac’s opinion, which you should, I would say the worst fate a man could suffer is having no identity to speak of. To not know who you are is almost like not existing at all.
You see, Mr. Trash, you sit at a disadvantage already. You lost to Giggles’ muscle-bound partner Vonn Richter just last week. He made the great street fighter submit. Quite ironic. And now you are tasked with not only doing something you previously failed to do, but the difficulty rises tenfold when you throw in Mitchell and, of course, my dear Giggles into the mix. If I were a betting man, I would not like those odds. Forget the fact that you already suffered a defeat at the hands of our team. My Giggles has two wins and zero losses since arriving in Alpha Pro Wrestling. In a mere two weeks, he has done something you have been unable to accomplish.
Quite frankly, gentlemen, you gentlemen are pathetic. You are weak. You are a pestilence upon this fine company. You must increase your minimum effort required if you wish to achieve anything in this company besides losing. You must take charge, show the world that you actually wish to do what you are doing. You must prove that you are not the weak links the world around you believes you to be.
However… I have seen plenty of men such as yourself. Young and dumb. There’s a reason my famed circus is- was a family only unit. Men such as yourselves, Mr. Franco, and Trash. Believing they are the greatest gifts to ever grace God’s green earth. Unable to take direction. Unwilling to improve. Those… are the ones who fail miserably. Those are always the folks you hear about, perishing in trapeze acts gone wrong or getting mauled by lions.
That leads me to the third member of this band of misfits, Aaron Blaze. Quite easily the best member of his team. Mr. Blaze, I truly feel bad for you. You have a Herculean task ahead of you in dealing with this match with 511 pounds of dead weight on your back. It is quite a noble effort, but you simply do not have the strength to bear the load. Your two partners are going to drag you down like anchors attached to your ankles.
I would like to say you three gentlemen are better as singles competitors than you are as a team, but if there is one thing I am not, it is a liar, boys. Even you, Aaron, who is a part of an entirely separate team. Son, allow me to be blunt. The only reason you are not considered the weakest link of The Bloodline is because your friend Mr. Stylez is about as incompetent as a tightrope walker with vertigo. But you, son, are in a far less favorable position. Because the only thing worse than being a weak link, as I mentioned previously, is not being anything at all. While your partners each challenge for titles, you are mere cannon fodder, an easy victory for some promising up-and-comers.
While I may not agree with the aloofness of Mr. Mitchell, or the vanity of Mr. Richter, but I do see the opportunity of having them as teammates of my Giggles. Their two styles complement my devious clown’s abilities greatly. The power and agility fit perfectly with the… ah… uniqueness of my captivating clown.
Their three opponents, however? There is no team chemistry amongst them. They say three men with singles success do not always make a great. Team. But what about three men without singles success? Well… I suppose we will see about that, won’t we?
As you have clearly seen over the last two weeks, my Giggles is no one to take lightly. You all laughed at the dear boy. You saw the silly, creepy clown and wrote him off as some sort of outlandish joke. But he is the real deal. Three opponents. Two matches. Two victories.
The show has just begun, my friends. We are merely in the opening act. You have no idea what is coming for you all, APW. Just like Sarah Lacklan… Just like Lazer Johnson… none of you will be ready for The Grand Finale.
But until then, I do hope you enjoy what Giggles and Friends have in store. Big things are on the horizon... Please enjoy Kingdom Come, dear viewer…
And do take care.
Barnum turns back to the painters. He taps his cane on the concrete floor, the sound echoing off of the high walls.
Keep working! We are on a deadline!
The shot returns to the basement, where Giggles is sitting on a stool with his leg kicked up over the other. A very large sack of letters propped up next to him.
And now, boys and girls, it’s time for GiGgLeS mAiLbAg!!! Giggles reads lovely fan letters from his bestest friends five ever! YOU!!!
Giggles shoves his long arm into the sack and fishes around for a moment before pulling one out. He violently tears it open and reads the note through uncomfortably wide eyes.
This is from Derrick in Wisconsin!
“Giggles. Get out of my basement. We hear your Pop Goes the Weasel sh*t over the baby monitor. Stay the f*ck away from Makayla
-You know who the f*ck I am."
Ooooh! Thank you for the fun fan letter, Mr. Vayden! Giggles loves hearing from his bestest friend SIX ever!!! He promises to keep little baby Makayla safe and sound! As Makayla’s GodGiggles, Giggles will never always be there for the little babby!
Giggles rips the letter into dozens of little pieces, crumples them up in his hands, and tosses them into the air. But instead of little bits of paper, it turns out to be a beautiful white dove. Tina and Timothy cry out in surprise and start chasing the bird to catch it.
Next!
Giggles reaches his hand out to his side directly over the mailbag. A letter levitates off of the top of the bag and lands gently into the carney's hand. The envelope carefully unfolds and reveals the letter inside. The letter then levitates up to Giggles’ face so he can read.
This one is from Nathan in… also Wisconsin!
“Dear Giggles
Hey, Giggles. Big fan! Love the white face paint. I just wanted to say one thing…
I KNOW YOU ATTACKED MY WIFE YOU SON OF A B*TCH! ADMIT IT! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Love, Nate.”
Thank, Mr. Nathan!! However… Giggles does not wear the paint of faces! Giggles woke up like this!
Giggles runs a long, crooked finger down his cheek and shows it to the camera. Aside from some dirt and dust already present on the digit, no sort of face paint is present. Likewise, his face remains white as snow, no semblance of human colored skin.
As for Mr. Nathan’s wife, Giggles is very sorry to hear about Ms. Nathan but twasn’t Giggles! Giggles is a good Giggles! Giggles loves you!
Giggles crushes the paper into a ball and winds up like an MLB pitcher. He launches the ball off-camera. A bright flash of light and the sound of a grenade exploding is heard from where the ball was thrown.
Oh lord. Someone cover up that hole!
Yes, Mr. Barnum!
Giggles laughs and reaches into the bag, only to discover it completely empty. He grabs the bag and sticks his head into it.
Hello in there! ...Rats.
He takes the bag and tosses it away. He scratches his head for a moment. His hair parting for a split-second, revealing what looks like an eye on his forehead.
Finally, he looks up and lets out a cartoonish scream as he is buried in a pile of letters that had previously been in the bag. A few moments pass before one of Giggles’ unnaturally long arms breaches the top of the pile with an already open letter in his hand. He digs himself out of the pile and begins to read.
OH! Another letter from Mr. Vayden!
“Dear Giggles.
Nahahahahhaaaa naahahahahaahaaa naaaahahahahahahhahaaaaa naahahahhhahhaaaaaa! Naaaahahahahaaaa naaahahahhahhhhhaaaaaaaaaa!
With love, Derrick”
Ohhhhhh Giggles apologizes! This is a different Derrick!
Don’t fret, Mr. Thegoat, Giggles will dispatch of Mr. Blaze Mr. Trash and Mr. Deejayeff forthright! However… Giggles would like to refrain from such… graphic acts… Giggles doesn’t even know where he could procure an electric chair on such short notice. But big thank regardless! GiGgLeS lOvEs YoU!!!
Giggles stuffs the letter in his mouth and chews. He somehow blows a big bubble before it pops and disappears.
Well! That is Giggles show. Big thank to the little boys and girls for tuning into yet another show! He cannot wait to play with Mr. Mitchell Mr. Richter Mr. Blaze Mr. Trash and Mr. Deejayeff at the Coming Kingdom!!! It will be a great deal of fun!!!
OH! Silly ninny Giggles almost forgot! Twinsies! Come join Giggles! Hurry hurry hurry!
The twins join Giggles in the shot. The little dove from earlier now sits on Tina’s shoulder. She holds a handful of birdseed for it to peck at.
Giggles and Friendz would love love LOVE to continue to make the boys and girls of the world smile. That is why they will be expanding soon!!
Isaac Barnum joins the trio in the shot. He puts an arm around each of the twins’ shoulders.
The fine details of this exciting expansion will be revealed soon enough. Until then, stay tuned. Same Giggles time, same Giggles channel. Do enjoy Kingdom Come… And of course…
All four speak together.
Do take care!!!!
The four wave at the camera as the camera slowly pulls away. A voiceover of Timothy and Tina singing the theme song plays again until the scene slowly fades to black.
...And slowly fades back in.
GiGgLeS jOkE oF tHe DaY!!!!
What is more impressive than a talking parrot?”
The twins had already left the set along with Isaac Barnum, leaving Giggles alone in the dark Basement™.
...A sPeLlInG bEe!!!
…
Giggles laughs hysterically at his own joke as the scene once again fades out, this time actually ending the episode.
(RiNGmasTer Issac BaRnuM PresseNTs:)
(GiGGels N Freindz!)
(StarRing Giggels!)
(N
(Episod 3 Teemwerk!)
The shot cuts to everyone’s favorite creepy monochromatic clown Giggles on his hands and knees on the floor of The Basement™. Standing on his back is Timothy Bloom with his twin sister Tina on his shoulders. This human tower is all so the trio can screw in a burnt-out lightbulb, something that isn’t entirely necessary given Giggles’ size as well as the somewhat low ceiling.
Giggles turns his head agonizingly slow to look into the camera. His eyes go wide in excitement.
OH! Hello!
Giggles springs to his feet, forcing Timothy and Tina to tumble backward, landing hard on their backs.
Name is Giggles, but you may call him Giggles!!!
Giggles laughs hysterically at his own joke.
And these are Giggles friends! She is Tina and Timothy is he! They are the Bloom Twins! Say hello!!!
Giggles looks back at the twins, still sprawled out on the ground. He scratches his head thoughtfully for a moment. Suddenly the lightbulb over his head flashes to life as he seems to have an epiphany. He rushes over to the twins and lifts an arm of each of them and waves them at the camera and imitating their voices.
Hello there! We are the Blooms and we are the cooliest!!!
He laughs and returns to his own voice.
Yes! Yes, they are! OOOOOO LOOKIE OVER THERE!
The clown bounces to his feet and rushes over to a corner where the carny in the red overcoat and black top hat is observing.
This is Ringmaster Isaac Barnum! He is also the cooliest!!!
Barnum gives the camera a modest smile and a subdued wave.
Greetings, viewer. I do hope you are well.
Giggles and Friendz are currently performing a teensy bit of home improvement! We find it is easier to accomplish difficult tasks when we work as a team! TeAmWoRk MaKeS tHe DrEaMwOrK!!!
You see, each and every person is SuPeR dUpEr powerful by themselves. But! When you come together as a firm, solid unit, there is no telling what you can accomplish!!! That is why Giggles is So ExCiTeD to team up with his wonderful new friends Mr. Cray Mitchell and Mr. Vonn Richter!!! Team Cool GuyZ are set to take on the forces of EVIL! Mr. Aaron Blaze Mr. Jordi Trash and Mr. Deejayeff! Hehehe!
They are the League of Justice! The Revengers! Mr. Richter is the jolly green Hogan! Mr. Mitchell is the Metal Male! And Giggles is the Brown Recluse! Superheroes!!! Giggles has always love love loved superheroes! Almost as much as he loves promoting wonderful products on his show!
The twins cross the shot like Wayne and Garth in Wayne’s World while “SEEMLESS TRANSITION” flashes on the screen in comic sans.
Tina and Timothy sit at a poorly built bar set up in The Basement™. It’s a rare moment where they don’t speak as one.
I simply do not see how Fortnite Battle Royale could be better than Minecraft Survival Games, Brother Dearest.
It is better because there are more players. 100 compared to only 24. The challenge is more difficult, Sister Dearest.
Giggles slowly rises from under the bar, vigorously cleaning a glass with a dirty washrag. He speaks in a gruff voice.
What can Giggles getcha, pardnahs??
He spits into a bucket, making a “pa-ting” sound with his voice.
The twins look at each other in confusion for a moment, unsure of how to answer.
Saber-tooth tiger got your tongue??
Giggles laughs hysterically.
How about Giggles gives the twins some of THIS!
Giggles holds up what looks like a beer bottle.
Baby’s First Bottle! The non-alcoholic beer for kiddies produced by Alpha Professional Restyling's own Seth Lerch!!! FuN fOr ThE wHoLe FaMiLy!!!
The tall clown slams two glasses onto the counter, causing chunks of glass to scatter across the counter. Giggles pours some Little Lagers into the remnants of each glass and nudges them towards the kids. They each take a glass, careful not to cut their hands. They take a sip, also careful not to cut their lips. Neither one seems to like the taste of beer too much.
Giggles just laughs again.
Even Giggles loves it!!!
The clown downs the rest of the bottle and smashes it onto the ground. Suddenly he starts to stumble and sway.
Giggles may have… had too much…
Giggles trips and smashes through the bar.
... How did he get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer?
Isaac Barnum walks into the shot and kneels down to check on his client. Once he determines he is all right, he stands and turns towards the camera.
Ah… Well… While we get the old clown back on his feet, here is a word from myself. Please do enjoy.
The shot switches to a dimly lit warehouse. Inside, Ringmaster Isaac Barnum walks through the space, weaving in between the many people who are elegantly painting banners. Many of them feature some variations of “Isaac Barnum’s traveling circus!” written in multitudes of bright colors. Amongst these talented artists, Giggles and the twins laid on their stomachs, their feet swaying in the air, drawing stick figures and animals with crayons.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Pay no mind to the busy work behind me, as it has nothing to do with the topic at hand tonight. It is a… ah… special project.
Barnum gives a smirk and a wink.
But back to business… Alpha Professional Wrestling presents: Kingdom Come! The Pay-Per-View debut of your favorite clown and mine, the great Giggles! He is tasked with teaming up with “The Guru of Glee” Cray Mitchell and “The Man Who Moves the Needle” Vonn Richter. And all I have to say to you boys is… I pray you don’t get in between Giggles and his… playmates. Because he is going to… “play”... with anyone in his way. And as you have seen, my Giggles plays rough.
Now, my Giggles may be a clown, but his opponents this week are the real jokers. Firstly, Dakota Joseph Franco. DJF. This man has claimed that he will show my Giggles a joke when they meet in the ring. Allow me to be frank with you, Dakota. I think you’re right. You will show the jubilant jester a joke. However, that joke will be you.
You see, Mr. Franco, my small portion of this episode of Giggles and Friends alone will be longer than the entirety of one of your entire promotional videos. That does not bode well for you and your team. You do not have the showmanship necessary to keep a crowd entertained. You speak so little, say even less, and manage to not back up any of it inside of that ring. It is embarrassing, son. Quite embarrassing. I would venture to say you are the most dispensable member of your team. But do not worry, Giggles treats all of his victims… *ahem* playmates… equally.
Next is a man who’s name fits his level of talent to a T. Jordi Trash. Vulgar, brash, reckless. Also ignorant, undisciplined, and incompetent. Your petulant scrums in the streets is nothing like a professional contest such as this. These are highly trained athletes you are stepping into the ring with. These are brutalizers. What worked for you back then will simply get you eaten alive today. Aside from your meaningless brawling and propensity for cursing, I must admit I do not see anything outstanding about you, child. If you would like Ringmaster Issac’s opinion, which you should, I would say the worst fate a man could suffer is having no identity to speak of. To not know who you are is almost like not existing at all.
You see, Mr. Trash, you sit at a disadvantage already. You lost to Giggles’ muscle-bound partner Vonn Richter just last week. He made the great street fighter submit. Quite ironic. And now you are tasked with not only doing something you previously failed to do, but the difficulty rises tenfold when you throw in Mitchell and, of course, my dear Giggles into the mix. If I were a betting man, I would not like those odds. Forget the fact that you already suffered a defeat at the hands of our team. My Giggles has two wins and zero losses since arriving in Alpha Pro Wrestling. In a mere two weeks, he has done something you have been unable to accomplish.
Quite frankly, gentlemen, you gentlemen are pathetic. You are weak. You are a pestilence upon this fine company. You must increase your minimum effort required if you wish to achieve anything in this company besides losing. You must take charge, show the world that you actually wish to do what you are doing. You must prove that you are not the weak links the world around you believes you to be.
However… I have seen plenty of men such as yourself. Young and dumb. There’s a reason my famed circus is- was a family only unit. Men such as yourselves, Mr. Franco, and Trash. Believing they are the greatest gifts to ever grace God’s green earth. Unable to take direction. Unwilling to improve. Those… are the ones who fail miserably. Those are always the folks you hear about, perishing in trapeze acts gone wrong or getting mauled by lions.
That leads me to the third member of this band of misfits, Aaron Blaze. Quite easily the best member of his team. Mr. Blaze, I truly feel bad for you. You have a Herculean task ahead of you in dealing with this match with 511 pounds of dead weight on your back. It is quite a noble effort, but you simply do not have the strength to bear the load. Your two partners are going to drag you down like anchors attached to your ankles.
I would like to say you three gentlemen are better as singles competitors than you are as a team, but if there is one thing I am not, it is a liar, boys. Even you, Aaron, who is a part of an entirely separate team. Son, allow me to be blunt. The only reason you are not considered the weakest link of The Bloodline is because your friend Mr. Stylez is about as incompetent as a tightrope walker with vertigo. But you, son, are in a far less favorable position. Because the only thing worse than being a weak link, as I mentioned previously, is not being anything at all. While your partners each challenge for titles, you are mere cannon fodder, an easy victory for some promising up-and-comers.
While I may not agree with the aloofness of Mr. Mitchell, or the vanity of Mr. Richter, but I do see the opportunity of having them as teammates of my Giggles. Their two styles complement my devious clown’s abilities greatly. The power and agility fit perfectly with the… ah… uniqueness of my captivating clown.
Their three opponents, however? There is no team chemistry amongst them. They say three men with singles success do not always make a great. Team. But what about three men without singles success? Well… I suppose we will see about that, won’t we?
As you have clearly seen over the last two weeks, my Giggles is no one to take lightly. You all laughed at the dear boy. You saw the silly, creepy clown and wrote him off as some sort of outlandish joke. But he is the real deal. Three opponents. Two matches. Two victories.
The show has just begun, my friends. We are merely in the opening act. You have no idea what is coming for you all, APW. Just like Sarah Lacklan… Just like Lazer Johnson… none of you will be ready for The Grand Finale.
But until then, I do hope you enjoy what Giggles and Friends have in store. Big things are on the horizon... Please enjoy Kingdom Come, dear viewer…
And do take care.
Barnum turns back to the painters. He taps his cane on the concrete floor, the sound echoing off of the high walls.
Keep working! We are on a deadline!
The shot returns to the basement, where Giggles is sitting on a stool with his leg kicked up over the other. A very large sack of letters propped up next to him.
And now, boys and girls, it’s time for GiGgLeS mAiLbAg!!! Giggles reads lovely fan letters from his bestest friends five ever! YOU!!!
Giggles shoves his long arm into the sack and fishes around for a moment before pulling one out. He violently tears it open and reads the note through uncomfortably wide eyes.
This is from Derrick in Wisconsin!
“Giggles. Get out of my basement. We hear your Pop Goes the Weasel sh*t over the baby monitor. Stay the f*ck away from Makayla
-You know who the f*ck I am."
Ooooh! Thank you for the fun fan letter, Mr. Vayden! Giggles loves hearing from his bestest friend SIX ever!!! He promises to keep little baby Makayla safe and sound! As Makayla’s GodGiggles, Giggles will never always be there for the little babby!
Giggles rips the letter into dozens of little pieces, crumples them up in his hands, and tosses them into the air. But instead of little bits of paper, it turns out to be a beautiful white dove. Tina and Timothy cry out in surprise and start chasing the bird to catch it.
Next!
Giggles reaches his hand out to his side directly over the mailbag. A letter levitates off of the top of the bag and lands gently into the carney's hand. The envelope carefully unfolds and reveals the letter inside. The letter then levitates up to Giggles’ face so he can read.
This one is from Nathan in… also Wisconsin!
“Dear Giggles
Hey, Giggles. Big fan! Love the white face paint. I just wanted to say one thing…
I KNOW YOU ATTACKED MY WIFE YOU SON OF A B*TCH! ADMIT IT! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Love, Nate.”
Thank, Mr. Nathan!! However… Giggles does not wear the paint of faces! Giggles woke up like this!
Giggles runs a long, crooked finger down his cheek and shows it to the camera. Aside from some dirt and dust already present on the digit, no sort of face paint is present. Likewise, his face remains white as snow, no semblance of human colored skin.
As for Mr. Nathan’s wife, Giggles is very sorry to hear about Ms. Nathan but twasn’t Giggles! Giggles is a good Giggles! Giggles loves you!
Giggles crushes the paper into a ball and winds up like an MLB pitcher. He launches the ball off-camera. A bright flash of light and the sound of a grenade exploding is heard from where the ball was thrown.
Oh lord. Someone cover up that hole!
Yes, Mr. Barnum!
Giggles laughs and reaches into the bag, only to discover it completely empty. He grabs the bag and sticks his head into it.
Hello in there! ...Rats.
He takes the bag and tosses it away. He scratches his head for a moment. His hair parting for a split-second, revealing what looks like an eye on his forehead.
Finally, he looks up and lets out a cartoonish scream as he is buried in a pile of letters that had previously been in the bag. A few moments pass before one of Giggles’ unnaturally long arms breaches the top of the pile with an already open letter in his hand. He digs himself out of the pile and begins to read.
OH! Another letter from Mr. Vayden!
“Dear Giggles.
Nahahahahhaaaa naahahahahaahaaa naaaahahahahahahhahaaaaa naahahahhhahhaaaaaa! Naaaahahahahaaaa naaahahahhahhhhhaaaaaaaaaa!
With love, Derrick”
Ohhhhhh Giggles apologizes! This is a different Derrick!
Don’t fret, Mr. Thegoat, Giggles will dispatch of Mr. Blaze Mr. Trash and Mr. Deejayeff forthright! However… Giggles would like to refrain from such… graphic acts… Giggles doesn’t even know where he could procure an electric chair on such short notice. But big thank regardless! GiGgLeS lOvEs YoU!!!
Giggles stuffs the letter in his mouth and chews. He somehow blows a big bubble before it pops and disappears.
Well! That is Giggles show. Big thank to the little boys and girls for tuning into yet another show! He cannot wait to play with Mr. Mitchell Mr. Richter Mr. Blaze Mr. Trash and Mr. Deejayeff at the Coming Kingdom!!! It will be a great deal of fun!!!
OH! Silly ninny Giggles almost forgot! Twinsies! Come join Giggles! Hurry hurry hurry!
The twins join Giggles in the shot. The little dove from earlier now sits on Tina’s shoulder. She holds a handful of birdseed for it to peck at.
Giggles and Friendz would love love LOVE to continue to make the boys and girls of the world smile. That is why they will be expanding soon!!
Isaac Barnum joins the trio in the shot. He puts an arm around each of the twins’ shoulders.
The fine details of this exciting expansion will be revealed soon enough. Until then, stay tuned. Same Giggles time, same Giggles channel. Do enjoy Kingdom Come… And of course…
All four speak together.
Do take care!!!!
The four wave at the camera as the camera slowly pulls away. A voiceover of Timothy and Tina singing the theme song plays again until the scene slowly fades to black.
...And slowly fades back in.
GiGgLeS jOkE oF tHe DaY!!!!
What is more impressive than a talking parrot?”
The twins had already left the set along with Isaac Barnum, leaving Giggles alone in the dark Basement™.
...A sPeLlInG bEe!!!
…
Giggles laughs hysterically at his own joke as the scene once again fades out, this time actually ending the episode.
