This Promo Contains 69 Fucks and I Don't Give One.
May 24, 2020 20:09:22 GMT -5
Vonn Richter likes this
Post by The Trash King on May 24, 2020 20:09:22 GMT -5
The usual cameraman approaches the usual location.. a dump in whatever city APW is running their show. In this case one in Minnesota. But with one difference.. you can hear the roar of a generator lighting up the half burnt out christmas bulbs on the fence surrounding the dump. We hear a deep voice from within the dump.
Trash: Ho ho fucking ho! Merry Fucking Christmas. Get your fucking ass in here college boy before I give you season's fucking beatings!
The cameraman sighs and enters the dump noticing..
Cameraman: Children? Why are children in here?
Jordi sneers.
Trash: Because it's fucking Christmas stupid!
Cameraman: I mean I guess it's only one but still. Who let their child come here?
Trash: Drunk welfare fuckers have kids too fuckface. Besides get fucking jolly It's Christmas!
And indeed Jordi is wearing a Santa suit that's about 5 sizes too big. He has 6 rats with red noses pinned to their fac es.
Cameraman: I mean I get the Rudolph reference. But isn't there only supposed to be one.
Trash: Every fucking rein-rat is Rudolph in the Trash King's Christmas! Nobody gives a fuck about any of those other fucking reindeer anyways. They should have just lept Rudolph and ate the rest of those fuckers. Now come here fucking kid and sit on Santa Trash's fucking lap.
The kid who is way too trusting approaches Trash who is sitting on a ripped up red velvet chair which I guess is close enough for Jordi. He goes to hop up.
Trash: Fuck that little fucker. I don't want some cheap fuck making I fuck kids jokes. Fuck those unoriginal fuckers. Now fucking kid.. tell me what you want for Christmas.
Kid: I want daddy to stop drinking.
Cameraman: Aww kid.
Trash: This ain't a fucking Hallmark special ya fucker. Fuck that sentimental shit. What the fuck do you really want?
Cameraman: New cell phone?
Trash: I'm gonna fucking smash you if you don't fucking say the line we fucking rehearshed.
Kid: I want you to destroy Vonn Rickles.
Cameraman: That's not even his real name..
Trash: Close e fucking nough. Alright kid in the spirit of Christmas I'm gonna fucking fuck Vonn up. Now go in the fucking spirit of Christmas before I fucking sicc the rats on you.
The kid quickly beats it.
Cameraman: This is awful. Why did you just do a Christmas special? You can't even claim it's Christmas in July. It's May. This makes no sense.
Trash: You want the fucking truth?
Cameraman: That would be nice.
Trash: Some fuckers threw out a bunch of fucking Christmas decorations. Because I'm fucking facing that steriod fuck Vonn Richter I figured he only deserved the bare fucking mimumum effort. I mean it's fucking obvious I'm gonna smash his fucking ass without trying so why try.
Cameraman: I guess.. technically that kind of makes sense.
Trash: Like I fucking care about your fucking opinion! I'm facing Vonn Spincter. That means ass. He is a fucking ass.
Cameraman: A spincter is part of
Trash: I was using it as a fucking example college boy! It's a fucking metaphor! See.. nobody actually fucking cares if I'm technically fucking correct. Just like nobody gives a fuck about Vonn's bodybuilding fucking shit. Doing his little fucking stupid pose downs and fucking shit. Who the fuck cares who much you can fucking lift bro. That don't mean you can fucking fight. I've seen you fucking fight. You can't fucking fight. Your whole stupid I'm in a shape bro bro shit don't actually mean shit. I live in a fucking dump and I would be embarassed to be you. Think about that for a second.
Jordi pauses for reflection.
Trash: You done fucked up. Last week you tried to prove you don't use steriods. You'd be better off proving you aren't a complete joke in the ring! I actually hope you are on steriods. That way when I kick your ass I can make a few fucking veins pop.
Cameraman: That's digusting.
Trash: When you are facing someone as fucking shitty as Spincter you gotta take your fucking entertainment where ya can get it. Lord knows it ain't gonna be any fucking challenge fighting him. Real fucking talk Vonn.. this is gonna be more fucking painful for you then the time you shoved a fucking barbell up your own ass. Why did you do that anyways? That's as fucking stupid as anyone thinking you're a real fucking wrestler. At the end of the day I'm gonna be the winner and the fucking Trash King and you're still gonna be the same fucking pretty boy poser ya always been. Make your fucking pecs jiggle now while ya can cause I'm ripping the fuckers off.
Cameraman: Is that even possible?
Trash: You want me to try?
The cameraman bolts.
Trash: Bout fucking time. I wasted enough time on Vonn anyways. Dude ain't gonna take ten fucking seconds to destroy anyways. Fucking hate them pretty boys. Always thinking they are better then everyone else because they fucking look good. Vonn ain't gonna look fucking good after this I fucking promise you that.
Trash: Ho ho fucking ho! Merry Fucking Christmas. Get your fucking ass in here college boy before I give you season's fucking beatings!
The cameraman sighs and enters the dump noticing..
Cameraman: Children? Why are children in here?
Jordi sneers.
Trash: Because it's fucking Christmas stupid!
Cameraman: I mean I guess it's only one but still. Who let their child come here?
Trash: Drunk welfare fuckers have kids too fuckface. Besides get fucking jolly It's Christmas!
And indeed Jordi is wearing a Santa suit that's about 5 sizes too big. He has 6 rats with red noses pinned to their fac es.
Cameraman: I mean I get the Rudolph reference. But isn't there only supposed to be one.
Trash: Every fucking rein-rat is Rudolph in the Trash King's Christmas! Nobody gives a fuck about any of those other fucking reindeer anyways. They should have just lept Rudolph and ate the rest of those fuckers. Now come here fucking kid and sit on Santa Trash's fucking lap.
The kid who is way too trusting approaches Trash who is sitting on a ripped up red velvet chair which I guess is close enough for Jordi. He goes to hop up.
Trash: Fuck that little fucker. I don't want some cheap fuck making I fuck kids jokes. Fuck those unoriginal fuckers. Now fucking kid.. tell me what you want for Christmas.
Kid: I want daddy to stop drinking.
Cameraman: Aww kid.
Trash: This ain't a fucking Hallmark special ya fucker. Fuck that sentimental shit. What the fuck do you really want?
Cameraman: New cell phone?
Trash: I'm gonna fucking smash you if you don't fucking say the line we fucking rehearshed.
Kid: I want you to destroy Vonn Rickles.
Cameraman: That's not even his real name..
Trash: Close e fucking nough. Alright kid in the spirit of Christmas I'm gonna fucking fuck Vonn up. Now go in the fucking spirit of Christmas before I fucking sicc the rats on you.
The kid quickly beats it.
Cameraman: This is awful. Why did you just do a Christmas special? You can't even claim it's Christmas in July. It's May. This makes no sense.
Trash: You want the fucking truth?
Cameraman: That would be nice.
Trash: Some fuckers threw out a bunch of fucking Christmas decorations. Because I'm fucking facing that steriod fuck Vonn Richter I figured he only deserved the bare fucking mimumum effort. I mean it's fucking obvious I'm gonna smash his fucking ass without trying so why try.
Cameraman: I guess.. technically that kind of makes sense.
Trash: Like I fucking care about your fucking opinion! I'm facing Vonn Spincter. That means ass. He is a fucking ass.
Cameraman: A spincter is part of
Trash: I was using it as a fucking example college boy! It's a fucking metaphor! See.. nobody actually fucking cares if I'm technically fucking correct. Just like nobody gives a fuck about Vonn's bodybuilding fucking shit. Doing his little fucking stupid pose downs and fucking shit. Who the fuck cares who much you can fucking lift bro. That don't mean you can fucking fight. I've seen you fucking fight. You can't fucking fight. Your whole stupid I'm in a shape bro bro shit don't actually mean shit. I live in a fucking dump and I would be embarassed to be you. Think about that for a second.
Jordi pauses for reflection.
Trash: You done fucked up. Last week you tried to prove you don't use steriods. You'd be better off proving you aren't a complete joke in the ring! I actually hope you are on steriods. That way when I kick your ass I can make a few fucking veins pop.
Cameraman: That's digusting.
Trash: When you are facing someone as fucking shitty as Spincter you gotta take your fucking entertainment where ya can get it. Lord knows it ain't gonna be any fucking challenge fighting him. Real fucking talk Vonn.. this is gonna be more fucking painful for you then the time you shoved a fucking barbell up your own ass. Why did you do that anyways? That's as fucking stupid as anyone thinking you're a real fucking wrestler. At the end of the day I'm gonna be the winner and the fucking Trash King and you're still gonna be the same fucking pretty boy poser ya always been. Make your fucking pecs jiggle now while ya can cause I'm ripping the fuckers off.
Cameraman: Is that even possible?
Trash: You want me to try?
The cameraman bolts.
Trash: Bout fucking time. I wasted enough time on Vonn anyways. Dude ain't gonna take ten fucking seconds to destroy anyways. Fucking hate them pretty boys. Always thinking they are better then everyone else because they fucking look good. Vonn ain't gonna look fucking good after this I fucking promise you that.
