Fucking Vote For Me You Fucks

The usual cameraman rolls into a local Boise dump where he is instantly greeted by Jordi Trash.



Trash: Get the fuck out!



Cameraman: Ha ha.. this is what passes for witty banter right? You tell me to leave.



Trash: Your fucking ears broke college boy? I didn't tell you to leave I told you to get the fuck out. If you're gonna fucking paraphrase me get the fucking words right fucker.



Cameraman: Okay. So now that you told me to get the fuck out you're going to talk about your match this week, right?



Trash: Fuck no! I'm gonna have to start fucking calling you fucking college dropout boy if you're gonna keep being so fucking stupid. I told you to get the fuck out because I want to be left the fuck alone.



Camerman: Right.. so about your match.



Trash: I told you to fuck the fuck off right? I seem to recall telling you to fuck the fuck off.



Cameraman: You did but..



Trash: But fucking what? You get paid by the fucking minute or something?



Cameraman: Actually I do.



Trash: Fucking great. Now fucking leave or you're gonna get fucking paid for hours after I fucking knock your ass out.



Cameraman: What got you in such a bad mood?



Trash: Fine.. I'll fucking tell you. It's fucking Mother's Day and she ain't here in fucking bumfuck Ohio.



Cameraman: We are actually in Idaho.



Trash: Well fucking excuse me... do you fucking see any fucking globes in this here dump?



Cameraman: Actually yes.



The cameraman points and there is indeed an old rusty globe in a nearby pile of trash.



Trash: Fuck off.



Jordi picks up the globe and punts it.



Trash: Now do you see any fucking globes.



Cameraman: Yes.. it's over there. You didn't kick it out of the dump.



Trash: I'll fucking kick you out of the dump! Fuck man I just want to fucking reflect on fucking Mother's Day in fucking peace!



Cameraman: That's actually kind of sweet.. for you. You miss your mother and want to be with her.

Trash: That's what you fucking think. I fucking hate my mother and wish she was fucking here so I could fucking hit her with a fucking trash can.



Cameraman: So about your match.



Trash: Fine. You fucking win. I'll talk.. fucking briefly about my fucking match. Then you fuck off. Deal?



Cameraman: That's a deal.



Trash: My opponents fucking suck. Done.



Cameraman: Seriously?



Trash: I outsmarted you didn't I fucking college boy?



The camerman looks kind of shocked.



Cameraman: I guess you did.



Trash: Yeah fuck college... the Trash King got the fucking smarts with no fucking schooling. But I'm gonna school those fuckers I'm facing this week. This week is the People's Choice whatever the fuck that fucking shit means. I will say this.. I don't fucking know how the whole fucking voting fucking thing fucking works but I know fucking intimidation. So everyone who's fucking voting fucking vote for me or I will fucking kill you.



Cameraman: Dude! You can't make death threats on television.



Trash: Who gives a fuck.



Cameraman: You'll go to jail.



Trash: I live in a fucking dump do you think I give a fuck? Everyone else in my match fucking has goals and fucking shit. Not fucking me... I just want to fuck people up with a fucking trash can. There.. fucking simple.



Cameraman: Fine.. I'll leave but could you please at least say something about your opponents because I don't believe you know who they are.



Trash: Fuck you college boy I'll fucking show you. First is Damien Kaine. Who gives a fuck about Damien he'll probably fucking no show. Then we have Jake Karnes. He ain't even on the fucking roster so fuck that guy. Then there's DJF. Who's name stands for Dick Jackoff Fucker. So fuck them all.. I'm gonna win. Or hit em with my fucking trash can. Then hit everyone who didn't vote for me with a fucking trash can so in conclusion fuck you all and get the fuck out of my fucking dump.



The Trash King then finds and flings a dead rat at the cameraman who understandably flees.