Post by Sandy Coconutz on Jun 20, 2019 16:35:55 GMT -5
Y A S S M O V E M E N T
University of California.
:: I was at University of California at one of my speaking tours of Female empowerment and the YASS movement. Young Adults of Synergetic Sisterhood. I sat cross legged on a super comfy chair in front of an audience of students as the chair if the LGBTQ+ sat across for me and served as a moderator. ::
Sandy Coconutz: So like, that's what I want you all to remember; we are here for each other. We’re here to empower each other and not put the other down. We rise together or we fall together. Its about NO meaning NO. those men out there, they only want one thing and half the time they don’t even realize that their doing it. The other half of the time, its serious and they mean to hurt you. They mean to hurt us. Its your body. Its your choice and you always have a choice. If some guy doesnt want to respect it, you make them regret it. The YASS movement is about empowering women of all genders and races. Right now the Patriarchy is trying to take away our rights as women to not only choose but they want to criminalize that choice. Our existence as women are under attack by a bunch of cowardly old lechers who couldnt find the clitoris even if we put it right next to their viagra pills. I am educated and it is all of our responsibilities to get educated, to vote and change the world because we are the mothers of the world.
Moderator: I think maybe we should open it up to questions.
:: a young woman stands up to ask a question.::
Young woman: Yes, do you think that men and women can equally compete in sports?
Sandy Coconutz: Yes, I do. I took up professional wrestling just to prove that very point. In fact, I even have a match this monday at the Cow Palace with Alpha Pro Wrestling. I think women can compete on equal levels against men, however I think combat sports like MMA is a different story only because I feel it promotes domestic violence against women. I chose professional wrestling because of its playing field and because of its glass ceiling. Theres only been maybe a handful of female world champions; I want to change that. I want to show that women are not only equal but superior to men. I cant smash the patriarchy by sitting here and talking to you. Sure, I can inspire you but I want to lead by example. This week I’m going to fight MJ Brilliance, a MAN who was born with a silver spoon up his ass crack who thought that hes entitled to success but has learned repeatedly that success don’t work like that. It takes blood, sweat, tears, light nights, trying to earn your master as you memorize flash cards while giving a midnight feeding to your five month old. He, him, that ugly face of the patriarchy thinks that because hes a man, that he’s supposed to have it easy. I will not make it easy for him. Believe in your girl.
L I M B E R U P
Planet Gymnastics. Sacramento
:: OK, ok! Whew. Sandy, girl, you got this. The doors to gym didnt seem as imposing as last time but my heart was still doing the somba in my chest. If you looked closely, I swear my boobs were shakin the senora. My hand tightened around my gym bag. Had to get the practice in before my match.
We can do this. Deep breath. We can do this. Sandy, girl.. We aint no bitch. I was inside and head to the locker room to change into my pink and purple leotard.
Hold it pervs. Girls only.
There. Just gotta iron out the fabric. Ugh, I forgot how much this sticks to my chest. Nope, nope, gotta pick the wedge. OK! OK! Simple floor routine. One, two, step, hand spring..
TA-DAH!
Hell yah girl, shimmy ya shoulders. Been doing this since I was six. Some things you just dont forget. Like riding a bike.. Or a BBC. You never, EVER forget it. I glance over at that beam and that dick just makes my lips quiver and nope out. Girl, we just aint ready for that. We got time before the club tonight so its best to just practice and limber up but know that this aint ovah. ::
L I L R E D R I D I N H O O D
Saturns Nightclub. Sacramento. CA.
:: I’m off tonight from my normal hosting duties at Saturns because its Karaoke night. Ya girl just came in to get her paycheck. Its funny, I have two degrees and I’m hosting. I mean, ya girls not complaining, its just funny how life works out like that. In the middle of the week the club hosts an older crowd. Some nights its smooth jazz and others its get smish-smashed and sing like you’re on the moon. Ya girl walks past Brickson whos still holding down the door in case any renditions of Rocket Man gets out of control.
Ground Control to Major Tom, this guys had one too many Tom Collins ( collins’ses? Collinies? Colonies? IDK )
Ya girl goes to the bar, settles down and orders a tall, double strength, Hawaiian Breeze and my paycheck.
Sandy Coconutz: Jenny gurl, is Jeremy here tonight?
:: sip ::
Jenny Gurl: Nah, he’s not normally here on Karaoke night. Why, whats up?
Sandy Coconutz: Nah, nothin, just that I have a wrestling match this weekend and if I do good, I’ll be doing it more.
:: sip sip ::
( Hey there lil red ridin hood.. You sure are lookin good. )
Jenny Gurl: you’re doing that wrestling again? How many feds have you tried out for?
( … Go walkin in these little ol woods alone.. )
Sandy Coconutz: Listen, bitch, you don’t need to be negative. You don’t need to be bringing in that bad energy to me. I’m trying to prove that women are equal to men.
( .. I think I aught to walk with you for a ways.. )
Jenny Gurl: And who are you fighting this week?
Sandy Coconutz: I.D.K, some like, fruit basket jobber named MJ Brilliance. He’s like, you know, like, one of those preppy rich kids who needs to be great at everything and thinks that because he has money, that's all that he needs.
Jenny Gurl: Kinda, sorta like you?
( Walk with me and be safe… )
Sandy Coconutz: No, not like me. I’m not no preppy rich kid. Sure, I mean, like, my dads a dentist but I’ve always, always, always been about compiTITion. I know that he probably thinks that he has a edge over me because I got short girl problems but gymnastics transfers well over into wrestling.
Jenny Gurl: So whats your finishing move?
:: Ugh, my finishing move? ::
Sandy Coconutz: I - I - don’t have one.
:: Jenny rolls her eyes. ::
:: sip sip sip ::
Jenny Gurl: How can you wrestle if you don’t have a finish move? What are you gonna do, bury your crotch into his face and cry at him?
Sandy Coconutz: Cry? Bitch I don’t cry. I’m not a crier.
:: salvation lies at the bottom of this Hawaiian Breeze ::
:: Jenny gives me that eye. :;
Jenny Gurl: I’ve seen the clips you’ve shown me on your phone with you and jared hookin up.
Sandy Coconutz: What, no. That was like, that was like a one time thing.
Jenny Gurl: You nearly suffocated that poor guy and cried for like five minutes. I dunno whos face was wetter by the end. Speaking of - Jared not there, is he?
:: Pft, gurl whaaa? ::
Sandy Coconutz: No, Jared is not there.
:: OMG, I swear I’ll suck this straws dick, just get me drunk ::
Jenny Gurl: Good, don’t be chasin no man.
Sandy Coconutz: Me? Never? I don’t chase nobody. They chase me.
Jenny Gurl: Good. I’m glad. You don’t need that shit.
Sandy Cocoutz: Gurl, I don’t need that dick.
N E E D T H A T D I C K
Punta Vista Apartments. Sacaramento. CA. Last known residence of Jared Holmes.
:: Gurl, fuckin remind me not to drink Hawiian Breeze no more cuz it makes me show up to Jared place in a tube top, mini skirt, no panties and a bottle of malt - oh and ya girl yells all obnoxious like. ::
Sandy Coconutz: Fucking Jared, I know you’re in there somewhere. I can smell your nasty ass colonge.. UGH JARED… JARED.. Spit in my hair and tell me I’m scum! You filthy piece of shit!
:: face palm. Srsly SandyC? We’re over this. We’re past this. ::
Sandy Coconutz: Come down here and smash me inside that dumpster!
:: Ok, maybe we’re not past this but that's OK. just keep it together and we’ll make it through this. ::
Sandy Coconutz: Jared, your moms got a three toed clitoris
:: sip, sip, clug. There girl, wipe ya lips. No, not this lips.. Ya mouth lips. ::
Sandy Coconutz: I’m sorry Mrs. H, I’m sure you have a cute clit. Mrs. H, you’re sons a fucking asshole and he wont smash.
Neighbor ( yelling from a window ): Hey, shut the fuck up!
Sandy Coconutz: Hey, fuck you.
Neighbor: Hey, fuck you, you dumb bitch
Sandy Coconutz: The hell you just call me? You don’t talk to me like that. You don’t know me. You don’t know me. You don’t. I’ll come up there, suck your dick, slit your throat and ride you till the light fades from your eyes. Watch the blood squirt from your neck with every bounce. JJAARRED, I swear to god, I’ll fuck this guy to death if you dont get your ass down here and fuck me like the scum bag that I am! I want you to make me hurt. I want you to do whatever you want to me. JARRED, you can even stick in my ass. I’ll let you this time.
:: Girl, get off your knees and stop cryin. ::
Sandy Coconutz: I swear * sniffle, sniffle, sob * I’ll really let you this time..
:: SandyC, its time to go. Your make ups runnin, your cryin, your cootch is out, you’re a stone cold mess. Come on, we’re better than this. ::
:: a jacket is draped over my shoulders.::
??: Here, sweet girl. You’ll catch a cold. Come now.
:: This man helps me up, holding me close trying to cover my shame. Too bad he cant cover it up on the inside.
Sandy Coconutz: Who- who are you?
Man: I live here. I was throwing out the trash and I come back and heres this young girl crying about wanting to be treated in the most horrible of waves. You, you’re better than that, SandyC.
Sandy Coconutz: How do you know my name?
Man: How does anyone not know Sandy C? You are the host at the Saturn club. I go there a lot on Karaoke night. I’m a friend of Jeremys.
:: hang your head in shame girl. ::
Sandy Coconutz: I was just there earlier. I shouldnt have had that drink.
Man: Indeed. Famous last words for many. Myself included. Come now, we should get you home. I’ll drive you if that's ok.
Sandy Coconutz: Yah, that's ok.
Man: Good. Thank you. My cars just over there. Its that blue Honda Accord.
Sandy Coconutz: Thanks. What did you say your name was again?
Man: I’ll tell you what its not. * chuckle * Its not like I’m the big bad wolf or something.
M J B R I L L I A N C E
So, Like, MJ, Brilliance, huh? So like, whats so like, whats so good about you? You havent shown your ugly, nasty, SK-E-VVVVVVVVV face in Alpha wrestling yet. What, does ya girl scare you that much already? You know that I’mma go in there and handle mah BIZ-NASTY all over that ring. Truth be told doe, ya girls not even that gud but she wil be. I’ll get better. I’ll do better; its just a shame that after this week you won’t be here to see it. I know guys like you, MJ. I’ve unfortunately dated guys like you. The pledge guys like you. You can chug a beer but that's all. You’re not smart or even all that good looking. All you want is to dig that silver spoon out cha ass crack and take a big ol’ lick because that's all the success that you and guys like you will ever taste. Well now this week you can taste the slick, sweet taste of success as ya girl SandyC rolls over you for the win. But I’m sure you’re used to woman rolling over you and sending you on that walk of shame. That's what this is, this week. This is your walk of shame cuz ya girl Sandy C is going to handle you like a mammogram. Ladies, check ya girls for lumps. Check yourself for lumps or else you’re going to end up with a worse lump than the one I gotta carry this week.
Aint that said, MJ, you’re gonna get carried this week by lil ol’ Sandy C. I might be four foot eleven but on my back, I’m kinda a big deal.
So sad that you’re not.
Believe. Ya. Girl.
