Post by slaughter71 on Apr 26, 2020 18:43:18 GMT -5
ALESSANDRA MALIGNAGGI HAS NO HOLMES OR PIZZA
-*(In some mid to high level hotel, The Monster Oblivion, wakes up, on IT's bed, with THE biggest hangover...)*-
Oblivion: What the fuq happened last night?!
-*(The hotel room looks pretty trashed up right now. Not only are there multiple bottles of beer in the room. There are several of champagne bottles scattered everywhere!! On BOTH nightstands, there are remnants of lines, of cocaine with rolled up dollar bills and remnants of half smokin' joints. There are several Hungry Howie boxes everywhere!! Several boxes of Howie bread are on the floor. Black lights are still on. The Monster is grabbing IT's head, confused, looking around of the mess. Apparently it wasn't like this last night. An Italian clown, balancing on a large ball, juggling, is wearing a name tag. His name is... Joseph. On the television there is an old Jerry Lewis movie on.)*-
Oblivion: All I can remember is going to a nearby club. Yes, some people KINDA freaked. Especially how IT looked. Now, this club The Monster went to, their moniker is... "Always dress to impress". Oblivion did that!! This IS Houston. What do you expect?! Something like IT walks into a club, flashing cash, you expect trouble. IT wanted a corner table with a bottle. Damn straight... THE MONSTER GOT WHAT IT WANTED. Sure, in the past, Oblivion had the reputation of being, a... 'freak". Well, things, can change. Even freaks can be sophisticated nowadays. Even in Texas, ladies sees a man tossing cash around, "they come a-runnin'". By they end of the night, your boy had a couple of girls with The Monster to take with IT to the hotel room, for a PARTY !!!
-*(There is a long, wide and tall fish tank in the hotel room. There is an eerie chill in the room. Oblivion doesn't remember this being here. Doesn't remember ordering this fish tank up to this room. IT does remember talking to a BUNCH of people about bringing the party from the club to up IT's hotel room. The Oblivion did remember talking to a group of people about IT's upcoming match against Alessandra Malignaggi at the Astrodome in Houston, Texas. You could tell there were several wrestling fans, in the club, because of the cheers!!)*-
People: OBI!! OBI!! OBI!! OBI!!
-*(There are two objects kicking around, inside in the large fish tank. A 122 pound chimpanzee in a scuba gear outfit. Wrapped around it's waist is a dildo. But, the chimp isn't alone... NOT AT ALL!! Also in a scuba gear outfit is a skinless Siamese cat. The pupils, of the chimp have been dilated. The chimp bolts after the skinless Siamese cat.. At the same time, Oblivion is slowly coming to IT's senses. Noticing IT's surroundings*-)*-
Oblivion: THIS... The Monster doesn't remember last night!!
-*(As Oblivion lays in the hotel bed, there is a naked blonde woman inebriated next to The Monster and there is a woman on top of Oblivion, which looks like she was, um she fell asleep in the middle of copulation or it seems to look like that. There was a HUGE party of booze, marijuana and cocaine It also seems hordes of women too. Oblivion looks at IT's right arm. IT notices from halfway IT's forearm to the hand there is a brown to dark brown substance on IT's hand, mixed with a red substance. The Monster shook the girl that is straddling on IT. She doesn't move. Oblivion shakes her again... she slumps over. There is a HUUUUGE hole in her ass. Curiosity gets to Oblivion and IT sniffs IT's fist. Oblivion cringes. The Monster sits there for a second...)*-
Oblivion: DAMN IT!! FUCK THIS!!
-*(Oblivion packs IT's bags. Figures IT's screwed anyway you look at it. No reason to touch or need to clean anything up. FUCK IT!! The Monster has bigger fish to fry than the one that's gonna decompose on that bed.)*-
-*Oblivion hauls ass from the hotel room, with the bag in hand, straight to the infamous black van. Without a second thought, the tires squealed and The Monster took off. Oblivion looked in the rear view mirror...)*-
Oblivion: WHAT THE FUCK!?! WHAT THE FUCK!?!
SLAM!!!
SLAM!!!
SLAM!!!
-*(Oblivion slams both fists on the stirring wheel in absolute rage.)*-
Oblivion: IT knows before we moved the party to the hotel that one guy started buying drinks. IT knows IT recognized THAT voice!! IT just cannot place it right now!! But, IT's been messed up before. But, as soon IT took those shots from that dude. Those tequila shots, from that dude, everything went hazy. IT KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT NO FISH TANK!! What the Hell was that monkey doing with that cat?!?! And why was that chick asshole blown out?! Exploded like that?! And PLEASE CAN SOMEONE TELL IT WHY IS THE MONSTER'S HAND BROWN AND STICKY?! IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT!! Oblivion has more important matters to think about than some dead bitches crap on IT's mitt!! But, holy hell it's fucking disgusting. But, IT does wonder... yes. IT does wonder. HMM?? What would... it... YES?! CURIOSITY!! YES!! IT WONDERS!! WE ALL WONDER!! If Oblivion just... for one second. One micro-second. One lick. One taste. What does that dead whore's shit taste like?
-*(On IT's already contaminated hand, a mixture of years of God knows what plus woman's doo-doo... YUM-YUM GIVE ME SOME. Oblivion's idea of a delicious snack. As The Monster starts to pull on the substance on It's arm like rubber cement and beef jerky...)*-
Oblivion: All this weird shit, IT has to think about GODS of Wrestling!! At the Astrodome!! Here in Houston!! Once Oblivion IT's arrival, the first thing that came up was IT's first match. Who was it going to be against?! People talked. Whispers were about. Then Oblivion got IT's phone call. It was inevitable that the first Oblivion match was going to happen at the Gods of Wrestling Pay Per View. But, against who? IT was surprised as was everyone, when it was announced who The Monster was facing at the pay per view...Alessandra Malignaggi!! The Crimson Lady!! The Brooklyn Sicilian. So, alright let's get right to it. Let's put this bitch under a microscope!! This ho is NOT a grappler!! We know this!! We all read the shit!! She doesn't know what a drop toe hold is. But, she knows what a drop off is. IF had a chance, she would torture and murder your ass. HMM?! Excuse me?? How come IT hasn't met this broad before. Ms. Malignaggi sounds wonderful to The Monster. A women who knows how to hack up their own stiff... *MWAH!!* they're a keeper!! But, unfortunately you've been tainted. It's a shame though. A businesswoman, entrepreneur, philanthropist and arms/narcotics dealer. sounded like someone IT could have on IT's business portfolio. But, first things MUST come first. IT's a damn shame that already damaged body of yours will have to be decimated. We all your lack of traditional "ring skills" doesn't bother you. You rather give a wink to the referee and give a usual booty fwapp to distract the ref so you can "Lie, cheat, and steal" and throw in whatever little "basic" wrestling skill you bothered to learn.
Just to let you know... DIAVOLO, OBLIVION IS A WRESTLING GOD!! NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK, SAY OR WHAT THEIR OPINION MATTER, The Monster has bled for this business!! Has been burned for this business!! Been shot for this business!! The Monster has been shamed in this business!! No matter what, The Monster stands strong, with IT's head up high, with IT's bag of fresh of baby heads for nourishment. Eat like fresh Washington apples. The Monster knows the ring from pillar to post. You don't know shit!! The Monster will bounce you from corner to corner!! You will feel pains and aches from your head to your feet!! From every joint in between your fingers, from every joint in between your knees, hips, ankles. wrists, and toes... YOU WILL FEEL PAIN!! You won't find security outside the ring!! At Gods of Wrestling, Astrodome... WILL... BE... YOUR... HELL!!!
-*(The Monster excelerates the van to the speed up to 90 miles an hour. Oblivion see to the right, where, on the interstate, where you can merge off the interstate. But, there is a concrete divider. The Monster speeds up to 100 miles an hour...)*-
WHAM!!!
-*(Oblivion's van collides into the concrete divider.... BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!! BOOM!! One right after another, cars hit each other behind the van. The van's front driver's door open. Oblivion get's out, slowly, The Monster climbs up the van, to the top. ROARS OUT!!!)*-
Oblivion: ALESSANDRA MALIGNAGGI!!! HOUSTON, TEXAS!! ASTRODOME!! YOUR DELICATE ASS, AS IS, DESPITE THINKING YOU'RE A PSUEDO-BADASS... YOU ARE FACING OFF AGAINST A CERTIFIED LUNATIC!! CERTIFIED!! This country is sooooooooooo broken this body should be back in prison for MULTIPLR RAPES AND MUUUUUUUUURDERS!! Oblivion eats animals!! Eats animals like fruits!! You know that, right? Puppies and kitties!! And if you think Oblivion is worried about... HA!! Right!! Losing IT's job, because of one split second. You could be sweating. And one whiff of your womanly essence and The Monster could just...
*SNAP*
Oblivion: And... no one... NO ONE!! No one would be able to stop The Monster!! No one would be able to helpe you, save you. Protect you!! So, what makes you think you'll be able to defeat Oblivion?! Or win this match.. huh? HUH?! IT didn't think so?! So, think about that when you're PRETENDING to be badass. While, Oblivion will be ACTUALLY assaulting people. IT will be thinking of you, Alessandra!!
