Post by TheSituation on Apr 26, 2020 10:41:11 GMT -5
The sitch is in the gym, he’s got his purple ‘Architectural Apprentice’ shirt on which is drenched in sweat. Him and six other big men are powerlifting, weights and bars litter the mat floor. Sitch squats two hundred pounds with ease with his boys cheering him on. He completes his set winking at the camera. After he guzzles down a protein shake and takes a seat on a spare bench.
“What’s happin my situation nation. You caught me here in the gym pumping it. You know how it is? Biggest night of the year, big man has a big opponent. The biggest! So Sitch is working on his power game getting some gains in, perfecting a godly damn awesome gameplan. I can’t take credit for this game plan, my boy Ryan The Legend Slater gave me this game plan to beat Soul Reaver. This plan is so dope I made Rayn Slater, officially, the number one worldwide Sitch fan.
Let me tell you the situation. The main event of Metal last week was a dud. Four guys making a b-movie slasher film on an island, snore. The fans didn’t care because they wanted some real excitement. If they wanted to watch tv they’d stay at home and watch a b movie, maybe lesbian vampires or something. So big man grabbed a keg, I had about twenty ‘Architectural Apprentice’ tees to hand and got out there. Sorry Bloodline, sorry Zombie, Corey, I gatecrashed your main event. My bad.
So I went back to the cheap seats. When I was kid my pops could only afford to take me and my six brothers to pro wrestling shows if we sat in the chaepos. My dad was a dogg, he kept busy. Loved momma so much he gave her ten kids. Lotta love in my house, but love doesn’t buy wrestling tickets. So I know how it feels to be at the back. I know how it feels to be overlooked, even when you are the most diehard of fans. I thought on Monday I'd go hang with my people. The diehards. Share the love. I hit up section ZZ row W seat 427.
Bloodline, Zombie, Corey, hell - Soul Reaver, any of you mix it up with the diehards? Do any of you know what the fans want? The people that pay your bills. Post your rent. If it wasn’t for them you’d be playing roleplay in some half naked porno. Especially you Bloodline. I see it. You like it beefy in that locker room. Ohhhh damn, you guys already did that on some island pretending this shit is a video game. Well it ain’t. Put some respect on the fans.
I stepped out there and the peeps went crazy. Instead of being half way across the country, I turned up. Aaaaand they wanted high fives, signatures, one woman wanted a kiss. So they got high fives, signatures and that one woman got her kiss. You know the sitch is down for that. Some kids had ya boy’s old indie shirts on. I hit them up with some new ‘Architectural Apprentice’ shirts. The rest I threw into the crowd. Hopefully no Bloodline fans got them. Signed some programs, some tickets, some tee shirts. The people love Sitch, I’ve only been around a month and already the people are down with Sitchy. I love it. I’m building the Situation Nation!
I find that empty seat, lucky number 427 and start filling cups up with my keg of beer. Smash down the first and get on that second. The boys around me were smashing them too, who wouldn’t smash a fee keg of beer. These were my people. So turns out, I had the biggest pop of the night. When big man took Soul Reaver down, I finally got control of him, and finally showed that sonnava gun he’s not invincible. You all saw it! Your boi got the best of him. Laid the bitch out. Alpha management saw it too, and booked the two behemoths to go one on one at God’s of Wrestling.
I ain’t gonna fool with ya, it’s not gonna be easy. This joker one on one, it’s gonna be a tough fight. That’s why I'm getting some gains in. Bulk up, to beat the monster you gotta become a monster. Oh damn I was meant to be talking about Ryan Slater. He was in the crowd partying it with me while we laughed at the joke that is Bloodline. Like a lotta people Ryan popped like a madman when I got my hands on Soul Reaver. I won’t lie to you, the monster was distracted, he wanted to bring the pain on Smithy boy. That left him open to getting blindsided by me. At GOW it’s all me baby. I’m not worried about man’s size. He’s a big boy but I have that big d energy. I’ll harness it to lift him up, and drop like no one ever has. The biggest fall he’s ever taken playa! I’ll get the 1 2 3 outta shock alone.
What I’m really worried about is that doctor guy that puts words in his head. What’s his deal? Ease up dogg, life is for living not for being a demented wirdo freak. Get that freak outta here. But this doctor puts ideas in Reavees head. Last week he walked up Smithy, really put a bullseye on my mentor. That allowed me to take control of him, Reavees wasn’t planning for me. But one on one, he’s thinking about nothing but this sexual chocolate coconut. This is all on my boy Ryan. Although this match is all about the big monster slugging away, na, Ryan opened my eyes. This is a mind game. Soul Reaver has a guy in his corner whispering sweet nothings. Who knows what he’s unlocking in that freaks mind.
I gotta get my mind right --”
“We upping you Sitch. How heavy you want it?”
“Three fifty dogg. I gotta work up to lifting five hundred. That’s how heavy Soul Reaver is. Sooo i’m getting my body right, but that’s the easy part. What’s difficult is getting in the mind of a raging bull. A freako that doesn’t even think like us. So Ryan took me aside during my arena section zz party. Get in the first hit he tells me. Every Reaver match in Alpha so far he gets in the first shot and dominates his opponent. We get in his head. A alpha dogg play, afirm some dominance, make him know I ain’t scared. If i stay a step ahead of him throughout the match, he’s gonna feel weak. Now he ain’t weak, and it’s gonna be hard to cut him down. But if his mind ain’t right, then he’s as good as beat.
My brother Ryan has this coach thing locked down. This ain’t no hype, real deal shit. After I get the first punch in, we take the brawl ringside. I got the fans on my side. I gotta get them making some noise. Huston is an ally, so let's get the people stood up and screaming for Sitchy. Reaver doesn’t care about the people, sure, but if he can't hear himself think, I have the advantage. I mean how long does it take that no brian donkey to have a unique thought. Five minutes? Probably. To get the Huston strong pumping I gotta nail something huge. Going through the announcers table, barricade, brawling in the crowd. I know what the diehards want. Let’s give it to them.
Then speed. Now Reaver is trying to catch up with his own thoughts. It’s time to use my speed advantage. DAMN. I don’t think i’ve ever said that before. Like ever. But i’m faster than this fool, and I'm slow as shit. Ryan’s big game plan is to run ropes, keep knocking the big fool down. Then we get the freak up in the air and he suffers the biggest free fall of his life in the Situation Bomb. When I win, I’m throwing an after party in honor of my boy Ryan. My boy’s got a future in coaching. And I got a future with a brain dead moron.
I took Ryan out that night, slap up steak dinner. Him and about thirty people. We jammed up a steakhouse and drank them dry. Some girls turned up, got my boy Ryan a nice little dance right there in the restaurant. With clothes on. Tunes blaring we turned the place into a party. I know what the fans want! I know what the diehards want. FUN! ENTERTAINMENT! Not a snore fest b movie and definitely not a brian dead giant that can barely move. This is wrestling, they want wrestling. For the good of the damn fans, the people, and for the good of the gods, it’s time to eliminate Soul Reaver to stop boring up the show. And let us wrestlers do our work. There ain’t no spot for you here Reavee, your done, it’s over. That’s your situation.”
“What’s happin my situation nation. You caught me here in the gym pumping it. You know how it is? Biggest night of the year, big man has a big opponent. The biggest! So Sitch is working on his power game getting some gains in, perfecting a godly damn awesome gameplan. I can’t take credit for this game plan, my boy Ryan The Legend Slater gave me this game plan to beat Soul Reaver. This plan is so dope I made Rayn Slater, officially, the number one worldwide Sitch fan.
Let me tell you the situation. The main event of Metal last week was a dud. Four guys making a b-movie slasher film on an island, snore. The fans didn’t care because they wanted some real excitement. If they wanted to watch tv they’d stay at home and watch a b movie, maybe lesbian vampires or something. So big man grabbed a keg, I had about twenty ‘Architectural Apprentice’ tees to hand and got out there. Sorry Bloodline, sorry Zombie, Corey, I gatecrashed your main event. My bad.
So I went back to the cheap seats. When I was kid my pops could only afford to take me and my six brothers to pro wrestling shows if we sat in the chaepos. My dad was a dogg, he kept busy. Loved momma so much he gave her ten kids. Lotta love in my house, but love doesn’t buy wrestling tickets. So I know how it feels to be at the back. I know how it feels to be overlooked, even when you are the most diehard of fans. I thought on Monday I'd go hang with my people. The diehards. Share the love. I hit up section ZZ row W seat 427.
Bloodline, Zombie, Corey, hell - Soul Reaver, any of you mix it up with the diehards? Do any of you know what the fans want? The people that pay your bills. Post your rent. If it wasn’t for them you’d be playing roleplay in some half naked porno. Especially you Bloodline. I see it. You like it beefy in that locker room. Ohhhh damn, you guys already did that on some island pretending this shit is a video game. Well it ain’t. Put some respect on the fans.
I stepped out there and the peeps went crazy. Instead of being half way across the country, I turned up. Aaaaand they wanted high fives, signatures, one woman wanted a kiss. So they got high fives, signatures and that one woman got her kiss. You know the sitch is down for that. Some kids had ya boy’s old indie shirts on. I hit them up with some new ‘Architectural Apprentice’ shirts. The rest I threw into the crowd. Hopefully no Bloodline fans got them. Signed some programs, some tickets, some tee shirts. The people love Sitch, I’ve only been around a month and already the people are down with Sitchy. I love it. I’m building the Situation Nation!
I find that empty seat, lucky number 427 and start filling cups up with my keg of beer. Smash down the first and get on that second. The boys around me were smashing them too, who wouldn’t smash a fee keg of beer. These were my people. So turns out, I had the biggest pop of the night. When big man took Soul Reaver down, I finally got control of him, and finally showed that sonnava gun he’s not invincible. You all saw it! Your boi got the best of him. Laid the bitch out. Alpha management saw it too, and booked the two behemoths to go one on one at God’s of Wrestling.
I ain’t gonna fool with ya, it’s not gonna be easy. This joker one on one, it’s gonna be a tough fight. That’s why I'm getting some gains in. Bulk up, to beat the monster you gotta become a monster. Oh damn I was meant to be talking about Ryan Slater. He was in the crowd partying it with me while we laughed at the joke that is Bloodline. Like a lotta people Ryan popped like a madman when I got my hands on Soul Reaver. I won’t lie to you, the monster was distracted, he wanted to bring the pain on Smithy boy. That left him open to getting blindsided by me. At GOW it’s all me baby. I’m not worried about man’s size. He’s a big boy but I have that big d energy. I’ll harness it to lift him up, and drop like no one ever has. The biggest fall he’s ever taken playa! I’ll get the 1 2 3 outta shock alone.
What I’m really worried about is that doctor guy that puts words in his head. What’s his deal? Ease up dogg, life is for living not for being a demented wirdo freak. Get that freak outta here. But this doctor puts ideas in Reavees head. Last week he walked up Smithy, really put a bullseye on my mentor. That allowed me to take control of him, Reavees wasn’t planning for me. But one on one, he’s thinking about nothing but this sexual chocolate coconut. This is all on my boy Ryan. Although this match is all about the big monster slugging away, na, Ryan opened my eyes. This is a mind game. Soul Reaver has a guy in his corner whispering sweet nothings. Who knows what he’s unlocking in that freaks mind.
I gotta get my mind right --”
“We upping you Sitch. How heavy you want it?”
“Three fifty dogg. I gotta work up to lifting five hundred. That’s how heavy Soul Reaver is. Sooo i’m getting my body right, but that’s the easy part. What’s difficult is getting in the mind of a raging bull. A freako that doesn’t even think like us. So Ryan took me aside during my arena section zz party. Get in the first hit he tells me. Every Reaver match in Alpha so far he gets in the first shot and dominates his opponent. We get in his head. A alpha dogg play, afirm some dominance, make him know I ain’t scared. If i stay a step ahead of him throughout the match, he’s gonna feel weak. Now he ain’t weak, and it’s gonna be hard to cut him down. But if his mind ain’t right, then he’s as good as beat.
My brother Ryan has this coach thing locked down. This ain’t no hype, real deal shit. After I get the first punch in, we take the brawl ringside. I got the fans on my side. I gotta get them making some noise. Huston is an ally, so let's get the people stood up and screaming for Sitchy. Reaver doesn’t care about the people, sure, but if he can't hear himself think, I have the advantage. I mean how long does it take that no brian donkey to have a unique thought. Five minutes? Probably. To get the Huston strong pumping I gotta nail something huge. Going through the announcers table, barricade, brawling in the crowd. I know what the diehards want. Let’s give it to them.
Then speed. Now Reaver is trying to catch up with his own thoughts. It’s time to use my speed advantage. DAMN. I don’t think i’ve ever said that before. Like ever. But i’m faster than this fool, and I'm slow as shit. Ryan’s big game plan is to run ropes, keep knocking the big fool down. Then we get the freak up in the air and he suffers the biggest free fall of his life in the Situation Bomb. When I win, I’m throwing an after party in honor of my boy Ryan. My boy’s got a future in coaching. And I got a future with a brain dead moron.
I took Ryan out that night, slap up steak dinner. Him and about thirty people. We jammed up a steakhouse and drank them dry. Some girls turned up, got my boy Ryan a nice little dance right there in the restaurant. With clothes on. Tunes blaring we turned the place into a party. I know what the fans want! I know what the diehards want. FUN! ENTERTAINMENT! Not a snore fest b movie and definitely not a brian dead giant that can barely move. This is wrestling, they want wrestling. For the good of the damn fans, the people, and for the good of the gods, it’s time to eliminate Soul Reaver to stop boring up the show. And let us wrestlers do our work. There ain’t no spot for you here Reavee, your done, it’s over. That’s your situation.”
