Post by ZMAC on Apr 18, 2020 20:49:31 GMT -5
ASMR V/O: Hey everybody! Its Vacation time ZMAC and Covid-19 Corey Black. And they’re here for a very special announcement.
We fade into a very cheesy and poorly produced green screen effect. Shoulders all pixelated and shit. Corey Black, not sure where he is but nods his head and smiles along with a diet coke in his hand with one of those umbrellas that mocks an entire indigenous population. ZMAC lookin far too eager and WAAAYY to peppy. He’s got a Hawaiian shirt and a fedora on.
Steel drum music plays in the background that sounds like a beach boys song but for production reasons, legally isnt.
Stressed: LEGALLY ISNT
ZMAC gets his cue as Corey Black wanders out of frame, periodically coming back with different baked goods.
ZMAC: Hey everyone, COVID-22 got chu down?
Corey Black is already in the weeds. Covid 22? That's like 4 more than Rona 2020.
ZMAC: Have you been forced into your homes for what seems like years? Do you yearn for fun in the sun and a tasty adult beverage? Then don’t we have a deal for you?
CD wanders out of frame again, missing his cue which makes ZMAC cover.
ZMAC: See, that's what I mean * chuckle* Ol’ Corey Black been inside way too long. Just like all of you. Corey, don’t you have something that you want to tell the people?
CD wanders back into frame, mouth and beard full of sandwich of the assorted meat variety and just starts talking with his mouth full.
CD: Ah right. Global pandemic got you anemic for the good times? Need to get away from it all on your own island paradise? Then sign up now for your very own Pantheon Caribbean time shares. Where even YOU too can have your own place in the sun.
Food
Fun
Paradise
Pantheon Time Shares!
* Roll 1980s style beach promo with tracking bars, neon lights, leather jackets and a Kaiju wrecking the place. *
Legal disclaimer: Pantheon, its partners, subsidiaries and its affiliates are not responsible for damage or loss either in property, life or otherwise stated. Please summon the dark lords of the abyss at your own peril.
ZMAC: Doesnt that look amazing? But as I understand it, theres two Sour Sandys with crabs all up in their jocks.
CD: The Bloodline.
ZMAC: Sounds like literal AIDS
CD( laughing and eating a sandwich ): Oh, they fucking are. And here I thought absolute leprosy was dead.
ZMAC: That's where’d you be mistaken but that's where YOU at home will be in luck because Pantheon has its OWN Lepard nudist colony just a stroll down the beach from where you’ll be staying. You lovely people at home.
CD: Give us your money.
ZMAC: Because where else you gonna spend it? The Mall? HAHAHA don’t be silly.
CD: Pantheon will be chartering our own private flights to and from the island to ensure that our guests have the best service possible. Flying from Miami to Nassau twice a day.
ZMAC: WOW, doesn't that sound like a deal! Folks, act now because we only have spots left - and - wait..
* ZMAC pretends to listen in on an earpiece that he clearly doesn't have. *
- It seems those spots have been reserved by Aaron Blaze and Jason Ryan, AIDS comes to yet native brown paradise thanks to the white devils. Man, if there's one thing the white mans got on lock, its spreading contagion all over the globe. The Bloodline and their homo-erotic suck fest. I heard they lost 4 prospects and 1 member already. Isn't that a shame?
CD: Nah. It’s just to be expected. Order now though, and all your jobber killings dreams can come true.
STAR WIPE
JAZZ SAX MUSIC !!
_________________________________
A Caribbean beach at sunset.
ZMAC walking along a beach in swim shorts, open bahama shirt, zinc on his nose, fedora on his head and sunglasses on his face.
Sup fuccbois? You still livin over there on a fantasy island where all your dreams come true. While you all want to talk a tough game, ol’ Z still aint seen it. From all those little twitter spats to our Hardcore match where I beat the both of you at the same time even with the help of those no name prospects but yet you got a big head about you. Went and got LA Johnny Stylez.
NO
Wait..
He quit the fed.
He quit on you.
Now, I aint gone say he abandoned the fight because he’ll fight Corey and I. No, He abandoned you. He wasnt Bloodline material but really, who the fuck is? And I’ve heard the talk:
Ohhh, the coming war.
Ya’ll know nothing of war, of battles, of decade long nemesi. Ya’ll just two kids playing pretend. Blaze, you’re just the guy in the fire so that Ryan doesnt get burned. So that WHEN you eat the pin, he can blame you and go about his fucktard reality.
But let me clue you into a little snuff film behind the scenes that is soon to be your life.
CD and I been up and down the road for years. Tag partners, stable mates, friends, enemies, you name it. Certainly he knows me better than ya’ll.
But ya’ll cod piece, flap jacked jizz wagons gone fly to the toasty bahamas and meet a watery grave. Funny, on the way down here my plane crashed, I died.
Even that didnt stop me. No matter how much you boys want it to happen, you cant get rid of me. You’ll never be rid of me. And in this fight, it’ll be just another day of you boys on your backs and out of your league. I’m not sure what outcome you expect from this other than your own demise. You two fuck sticks been runnin your gums for weeks about your unearned, unseen, unproven greatness. All that's gone be proven by this is that you can beat your own high scores for failure.
It aint a good look when ya’ll tout dominance yet ya’ll aint done shit. And the the crux of this match. Blaze is so ignorant that he thinks ya’ll on vacation. If ya’ll were so confident in your skills, you’d just fight us yet we had to pay for everything.
Imagin, having an all expense paid trip to your own ass kicking. Travel to an island paradise just to get beat the fuck down by ZBLACK. The fucking state of your gimmick, lads.
Truthfully its ya’ll that don’t know what you’re getting into. CD and I are going to fucking murk you without even blinking an eyelash. You two simps are going to get run the fuck over by two of the best in this business. Period. End of fucking story. I don’t have to sit here and postulate on what the outcomes going to be or say: You’ll see what happens when you step in the ring
You know exactly what’s going to happen and after all these years, CD knows he can trust me to pull my weight and hit you boys with a dove killer, in stereo. And Blaze, I get it. You think Ryan has your back. You assume he has your back but he don’t. He’s a snake. A betrayer and trust me.
I know them when I see them.
You’ll have gotten rocked by a psycho crusher into burning hammer combo. You’re on queer street and liking it.
You’re down.
You’re out.
The pin is closing in.
And you’re thinking any second now Ryans gonna come over and make the save. You only got 3 seconds so he better make this quick. So wheres Ryan?
Half way to the back. Left you out to dry. Fear does not exist in this something or other, Senai. Then you’re gonna hobble your broken and defeated ass to the back and he’ll chastise you and ‘punish you’ and tell you your scum and you’re secretly going to like it.
Then he’ll sand bag this on twitter and talk about how he has more money than the guy with the enchanted blood magic castle.
Have we even heard of Ryans movies BTW?
At least I’ve got Syfy credits
Deadite Maddness
Return to Dead Hallow island
Horror in Montgomery.
Deadite Maddess: The Revenge.
I’ve been in movies. People have seen these movies. I don’t pretend to be in blockbusters in Singapore that no ones ever heard of.
But that's the path that you’re going down, Blaze.
The kind where the lies arnt called out.
Where the excuses are plentiful and the big titty Latina women are scarce. Is that the world that you want to live in; where there is not a D cup to suck at every street corner like fine coconut milk?
* A coconut drink sails into view and zmac catches it. Taking a sip *
Its refreshing is what it is.
You dont get big titty Latina with the round asses and the apple bottom jeans or the boots with the fur.
You gone get some wasted 18 year old, no tit, no ass, puffy nipples bitch named Brittany who's dad owns a landscaping business and her mom works in a dentist office but shes over there at Miami University studying communications yet she cant put a fucking sentence together without:
OMG
LOL
TOTTS
Or KBYE
That's what you got. You got the career equivalent of that. You gone slip her your 5 inch pale pony, she gone cross her eyes, clench her butt cheeks, sequel, you’ll drop your drizzled honey and think you're god of smashing. That's what Ryan got you thinking.
And hes going to get you killed cuz of it.
Meanwhile, I’m over here, having ancient Mayan curses put on me cuz I’m banging the hotel maid who's screaming in some demon language and she’s leaking like the titanic and there aint no god damn lifeboats to save her so her pussy is clinging to this drift wood for god damn life.
What I’m saying, Blaze, is that when you hang out with white bread fuccbois, you get white bread fuccboi results.
But you aint got that far in life yet.
You just been fed the: “we’re bloodline. We’re great.” trip and you bought in faster than ZBLACK selllin time shares.
But where all them dudes that were supposed to come along? There was gonna be 4 of them and you wernt even included. He recruited you AFTER they all beat the both of us up in that hardcore match.
You gotta think -> why wernt they around?
Why were you the 5th alternate?
Where did LA Johnny Stylez go?
This is a fight that Ryan drug you into.
And you aint gonna have good pussy when this is all over.
You’ll just BE the pussy.
Cuz Ryan fucked you. He’s the one that sealed your fate.
ZBLACK are just the ones committing the act.
Trust me.
See that out there? Out in the distance. That ships A sinkin. They’re all just too stupid to notice. And when you sink beneath them waves, you’ll all float down here.
Its a sad song but only if you think about it.
TRUST ME
