Post by TheSituation on Apr 2, 2020 17:16:18 GMT -5
Mike “The Situation” Matthews is sat on the front hood of a bright blue chevy Impala with go faster stripes down the middle. The car is pulled over in a truck stop along the highway in the middle of nowhere. He’s dressed in a tracksuit and notably a splint wrist brace is around his left forearm.
“Hey folks, what a crazy week. And the biggest part is yet to come. Believe me this is a BIG opportunity for the sitch. Last week Smith Jones was the world champion, this week, he’s wrestling the sitch.”
Situation splits open a banana and takes a bite. His face squirming in pain with his wrist causing him distress.
“Just smashing down some potassium, gotta rebuild big man’s bones. It’s been a long week. Hell but Smithy boy, I can’t imagine how Smith Jones is feeling, must be a longer week for him. Can’t imagine how the big man feels right now. The loss, the rejection, the anxiety. Is he good enough? Brother let me reassure you, you are good enough. I know it! How you thinking i feel!? I’m the rookie going up against the legend. You feels.This is my david vs goliath moment. Haha….goliath. I feel tight on the inside. We gotta feel this out bro. But i feel ya.”
“Sitch ten minutes and we rolling out!”
Two of The Situations entourage climb into the car while juggling snacks in their arms. The car rumbles as they get themselves settled. The sitch steadies himself on the hood trying not to fall off.
“Yeah so me and my boys are rolling out of Chicago. We decided to road trip it. Gotta be in Alabama by the weekend. Dippy ain’t too excited about four black men rolling through alabama in an Impala...NA we’ll be fine it’s twentytwenty! What's the worst that can happen? Me and boys were meant to be watching Metal on the sofa this week. I thought i had the night off, but yesterday a road agent hit me up and laid down the opportunity of a lifetime. One on one with the king of Alpha. The Goliath...haha. Sorry we’ll get to the goliath thing in a minute.
Yesterday the boys threw a surprise at me, what I thought would be a quick session at the gym. Turned into a nightmare, this happened.”
He throws up the arm that’s in the splint. Letting out a groan as he puts it back down.
“So, there we are getting a sweat on. It’s leg day, shoulder day, abs day i’m nailing it like you wouldn’t believe. Why not, I ain’t got no crazy physicality coming my way anytime soon, so i thought. There I am benching three eighty like a machine. Repping it like momma just cooked it! Then bam! I get the call. The roadie asking me if i wonna turn up. Of course I'm turning up! This is my moment, the start of my life dogg. I’m turning up. Who you got? Another rookie, someone else with a stupid name. Na, not even close to that. Smithy Jones he goes. Sure. I get it. He lost his title in an instant classic. Match of the night, goddamn match of the year! But he wants to get back on the horse. I get it, i ain’t a fool, I'm the rebound. I've been the rebound before, a few times actually. But usually it doesn’t involve an ass kicking and a black eye the next day. Weeel, one time, one time I did have a rebound that resulted in a black eye the next day, haha.
THIS IS SMITHY goddman JONES. And he wants to assert himself as the damn alpha of alpha pro wrestling. He plans on running through me. I’ll be your rebound Smithy but that’s not my plan dogg. Damn be it i let you run through me. This is a fight, I’mma turn up! I’mma fight you, test you. So I told the roadie, hell, give it to me. Second match in on the roster and I’ll take on the best Alpha have got to throw at me.”
He finishes that banana in one bite and throws the skin off camera.With a smirk he points at his injured wrist.
“So what about this huh? Well… here's the situation... I get off the phone, it’s time to turn it up. We hitting 100 on this gym session. You know it! We pound some weights, nail some cardio, jump on them protein shakes. Of course tho my boy Cool Zee B gets this idea for a sparring session. He finds the largest guy in the room. A freak! A monster! We named him goliath. See I know I got weight and height on Smithy. I got weight for days. But he knows how to wrestle against that. Don’t for a minute think that's an advantage cause I don't. I know i’m the David, Smithy is the goliath. So we find this guy and get to sparring him.
We got heavy gloves on, climb in the ring, throw some punches. I got him sweatin, i dont show it but this goliath guy gets me sweating. It’s all fun and games. Couple rounds go by, the gloves come off. Some fool found mma gloves. Now we punching and wrestling. He has me up against the ropes, does some muay thai bullshit, then bam. Single leg take over. Simple i know but he’s on mat. He throws some hail mary punches while getting up, that's nothin. Hook his head and bam, up and over, suplex. Your boy earning himself a crowd now. Cause i show up, just warning ya Smithy, i show up.
With people watching, ole goliath doesn’t seem to like being suplexed. My bad i guess. But damn he fucking low blows me. Not cool. Gotta be ready for anything i guess. It’s a dirty fight now and we tusslin. We’re up against the ropes then next thing know, whoop, we going over the ropes. Not usually a problem, but massive goliath manages to break his fall on my wrist. Snap. Man that sucks.
Some gym boys checked me out, not even quite a fracture they say. Damn hurts like one tho. It’s weak now but it’ll be ready to go by Monday Night Metal. I don’t care if Smith Jones knows about it, it’s not a handicap. Believe me these size thirteen boots will be doing more than these fists. I won’t lie when the roadie called me again late last night I thought about pulling out. But I never pull out. NEVER. In it until the finish!
I got another call about Meghan Kelser being the special ref. Meghan, I realise you have your own agenda. You're not on my side but you're definitely not on Smithy boys' side either. Girl, I'm begging you to call this down the middle. I saw you, I know what you're up to, hell i’m loving it, i'm all in. Cowgirls from hell vs the architects. I’ll buy front row tickets to that fight lord knows it! But me and Jones isn’t the time for you to dig that dagger in deeper girl. Just step off and let us go. We’re turning up, we’re bringing the smoke, we’re gonna put on a damn show. Let’s not ruin it with any special referee bullshit.”
“Sitch! Get your fat ass in the car we gotta get on the road!”
“Aiight, let me sign off. Imma shake your hand Smithy on Monday night. Then we gonna fight. David vs Goliath. Alpha vs Rookie. Big man vs The Big man. Three seconds is all that separates the winner and the loser. The three most goddamn glorious seconds of my life. Sorry big man, i’d love to be your rebound but I'm just the next step in your fall off the pedestal brother.”
The Sitch slides off the hood and retires into the car, on his way to the biggest moment of his life.
“Hey folks, what a crazy week. And the biggest part is yet to come. Believe me this is a BIG opportunity for the sitch. Last week Smith Jones was the world champion, this week, he’s wrestling the sitch.”
Situation splits open a banana and takes a bite. His face squirming in pain with his wrist causing him distress.
“Just smashing down some potassium, gotta rebuild big man’s bones. It’s been a long week. Hell but Smithy boy, I can’t imagine how Smith Jones is feeling, must be a longer week for him. Can’t imagine how the big man feels right now. The loss, the rejection, the anxiety. Is he good enough? Brother let me reassure you, you are good enough. I know it! How you thinking i feel!? I’m the rookie going up against the legend. You feels.This is my david vs goliath moment. Haha….goliath. I feel tight on the inside. We gotta feel this out bro. But i feel ya.”
“Sitch ten minutes and we rolling out!”
Two of The Situations entourage climb into the car while juggling snacks in their arms. The car rumbles as they get themselves settled. The sitch steadies himself on the hood trying not to fall off.
“Yeah so me and my boys are rolling out of Chicago. We decided to road trip it. Gotta be in Alabama by the weekend. Dippy ain’t too excited about four black men rolling through alabama in an Impala...NA we’ll be fine it’s twentytwenty! What's the worst that can happen? Me and boys were meant to be watching Metal on the sofa this week. I thought i had the night off, but yesterday a road agent hit me up and laid down the opportunity of a lifetime. One on one with the king of Alpha. The Goliath...haha. Sorry we’ll get to the goliath thing in a minute.
Yesterday the boys threw a surprise at me, what I thought would be a quick session at the gym. Turned into a nightmare, this happened.”
He throws up the arm that’s in the splint. Letting out a groan as he puts it back down.
“So, there we are getting a sweat on. It’s leg day, shoulder day, abs day i’m nailing it like you wouldn’t believe. Why not, I ain’t got no crazy physicality coming my way anytime soon, so i thought. There I am benching three eighty like a machine. Repping it like momma just cooked it! Then bam! I get the call. The roadie asking me if i wonna turn up. Of course I'm turning up! This is my moment, the start of my life dogg. I’m turning up. Who you got? Another rookie, someone else with a stupid name. Na, not even close to that. Smithy Jones he goes. Sure. I get it. He lost his title in an instant classic. Match of the night, goddamn match of the year! But he wants to get back on the horse. I get it, i ain’t a fool, I'm the rebound. I've been the rebound before, a few times actually. But usually it doesn’t involve an ass kicking and a black eye the next day. Weeel, one time, one time I did have a rebound that resulted in a black eye the next day, haha.
THIS IS SMITHY goddman JONES. And he wants to assert himself as the damn alpha of alpha pro wrestling. He plans on running through me. I’ll be your rebound Smithy but that’s not my plan dogg. Damn be it i let you run through me. This is a fight, I’mma turn up! I’mma fight you, test you. So I told the roadie, hell, give it to me. Second match in on the roster and I’ll take on the best Alpha have got to throw at me.”
He finishes that banana in one bite and throws the skin off camera.With a smirk he points at his injured wrist.
“So what about this huh? Well… here's the situation... I get off the phone, it’s time to turn it up. We hitting 100 on this gym session. You know it! We pound some weights, nail some cardio, jump on them protein shakes. Of course tho my boy Cool Zee B gets this idea for a sparring session. He finds the largest guy in the room. A freak! A monster! We named him goliath. See I know I got weight and height on Smithy. I got weight for days. But he knows how to wrestle against that. Don’t for a minute think that's an advantage cause I don't. I know i’m the David, Smithy is the goliath. So we find this guy and get to sparring him.
We got heavy gloves on, climb in the ring, throw some punches. I got him sweatin, i dont show it but this goliath guy gets me sweating. It’s all fun and games. Couple rounds go by, the gloves come off. Some fool found mma gloves. Now we punching and wrestling. He has me up against the ropes, does some muay thai bullshit, then bam. Single leg take over. Simple i know but he’s on mat. He throws some hail mary punches while getting up, that's nothin. Hook his head and bam, up and over, suplex. Your boy earning himself a crowd now. Cause i show up, just warning ya Smithy, i show up.
With people watching, ole goliath doesn’t seem to like being suplexed. My bad i guess. But damn he fucking low blows me. Not cool. Gotta be ready for anything i guess. It’s a dirty fight now and we tusslin. We’re up against the ropes then next thing know, whoop, we going over the ropes. Not usually a problem, but massive goliath manages to break his fall on my wrist. Snap. Man that sucks.
Some gym boys checked me out, not even quite a fracture they say. Damn hurts like one tho. It’s weak now but it’ll be ready to go by Monday Night Metal. I don’t care if Smith Jones knows about it, it’s not a handicap. Believe me these size thirteen boots will be doing more than these fists. I won’t lie when the roadie called me again late last night I thought about pulling out. But I never pull out. NEVER. In it until the finish!
I got another call about Meghan Kelser being the special ref. Meghan, I realise you have your own agenda. You're not on my side but you're definitely not on Smithy boys' side either. Girl, I'm begging you to call this down the middle. I saw you, I know what you're up to, hell i’m loving it, i'm all in. Cowgirls from hell vs the architects. I’ll buy front row tickets to that fight lord knows it! But me and Jones isn’t the time for you to dig that dagger in deeper girl. Just step off and let us go. We’re turning up, we’re bringing the smoke, we’re gonna put on a damn show. Let’s not ruin it with any special referee bullshit.”
“Sitch! Get your fat ass in the car we gotta get on the road!”
“Aiight, let me sign off. Imma shake your hand Smithy on Monday night. Then we gonna fight. David vs Goliath. Alpha vs Rookie. Big man vs The Big man. Three seconds is all that separates the winner and the loser. The three most goddamn glorious seconds of my life. Sorry big man, i’d love to be your rebound but I'm just the next step in your fall off the pedestal brother.”
The Sitch slides off the hood and retires into the car, on his way to the biggest moment of his life.
