Post by lajohnnystylez on Mar 29, 2020 21:33:55 GMT -5
Alpha Pro Wrestling....man if you SUCKERZ even had a phucking clue to begin with. If any of you had the slightest inkling of what is coming your way at this BattleCade pay per view event. When all is said and done and the history books get written about this professional wrestling orginization and the impact it had on the business as a whole it will be said that it all began here at BattleCade. The wheels are already in motion and nothing any of you try to do can stop it, and that is suffice to say by the time any of you got off of your phuckin asses to bust a move anyway it will have already been
But see before we go any further let me just go ahead and tell ya, that most of you, well phuck let's be real ALL OF YOU, have got me so wrong it's not even funny! Ok so maybe it is a little bit kinda, but still the fact remains that even those of you that know me don't even really know me for the real person I am and always have been. Am I a little confident, some would say arrogant? Sure that's a fair assessment, but look at me people and believe me when I phuckin tell ya that
I may even come off as a bit crass or rude from time to time, but that's just because I am better with the English language than most of the phuck mooks that make up the Alpha Pro Wrestling roster are at anything! And I thought before we went into this pay per view event I should do something to properly convey to you that very fact. So that from hence fourth when I proclaim to the world, the APW roster more specifically that I am what I say I am. And that incase you have forogtten already or didn't hear me the first time I said it on account of your head being shoved all the way up your ass crack to the point where most of you can even see what you're thinkin! But we will get to that in one very brief moment because before I move forward there is something...Err SOMEONE I need to address...And I know he is sitting somewhere with his thumb jammed in his butthole watching this...So yeah
Now I gotta tell ya homie...Every single phuckin time I see and hear you it baffles me to literally no end how in the holy phuck you are famous. Cause lemme tell ya asshat, I have been around the block in this business once or twice and I have seen some
I mean you are over there trying to prove your mettel here and there to everyone as your win -loss record gets more lopsided in the wrong direction every single week! And your bright idea to spare your dignity is to come out here and bust a flow on me and my random Tag Team Partner Senior Juevos Rancheros or whatever his name is? And I mean...
?ReaLLy DooD?
Because there is literally no phuckin way you had anything even remotely close to a real friend that watched and listened to that pure crapola that came oozing out of your mouth the same way shit falls out of someone elses ass, and let you air that! Ohh that's completley aside from the fact that you look like one of the
If you had any real Jason they not only wouldn't let you air that for all of public to see, but they would have helped you destroy video evidence that you even did it to begin with! But thankfuly for me and my friends because we watched that shit, and well to put it as plainly as I can and did...
OK seriously...I'm sorry dip shit! But wow watching that made me realize that I am right in doing what I am trying to do which is of course rescue the men you have lured to your side with promises of lots of money and what at this point has to be personally delievered and administered sexual favors! But if the only way to get through to them is to speak your language then ok fine...Just to prove that I am
But still...Here whats a good rap battle without a little rebuttle about I right?
Scene then picks up and we Johnny hop down from his large black Ford F-150 on monster truck tires. He slams the door shut and begins walking, as a beat mysteriously kicks on from no where. Johnny looks around seemingly surprised by it as well. He then shrugs his shoulders then holds up his car keys and presses the button locking it and setting his alarm. He then walks in the opposite direction and then proceed to show Jason Ryan HOW IT'S F'N DONE
LA Johnny Stylez holds a fist in front of the camera and then moves his fingers motioning like he just dropped the mic as we see him standing at the front door of a local WAL-MART...Cause come on who don't like phuckin WALLY WORLD? Johnny looks up and flicks his cigarette off into the distance as he begins to walk backwards as the automatic door opens behind him. He peers into the camera with that arrogant smirk of his platered across his face...
LA Johnny Stylez: Because ya see this is where you mother phuckers got me all wrong. Becaue yes I have been known to be rather rude from time to time, as well as a bit of an arrogant prick. But today I undo all of that, and just to show how great a length I am willing to go so that you people can see I'm not this horrible person most of you make me out to be. I came here to get a pre match gift for not just my tag team partner Ranchero Wrap, but also Jason Ryan and his soon to be former Bloodline Stable Mate! So yall quit dickin aroun out there and follow me! We will take care of my Mexican Jumping Bean Tag Team Partner first! Because since he is my partner he is the most important because I need for him to understand that we are on the same age. And APW if you phucks don't provide me with a translator because I know Dorritos thinks he is good at speaking English to me he kinda sounds like a baby that is learning how to speak only with some buster ass bario accent! SO follow me....And please try not to touch anything ok?
Johnny then leads way as we walk in and immediately see the grocery department to the right. Johnny walks around seemingly like he knows where he is going. We hang a left by the clothles and pass up electronics. We see Johnny standing on his tippy toes trying to figure where to go. He then spots it and hangs another left. He then finally makes it to asile 14 that reads PILLOWS, PILLOWCASES, BED SHEETS etc you get the idea I'm runnin outt words here! Johnny walks over and looks at the selection of pillows up and down. He finally just grabs the one in the middle and tucks it underneath his arm. As he then continues his journey through Wally World!
LA Johnny Stylez: Well Taco Bell I know what you're thinkin...Why in the hell did this Punta Madre buy me a pillow! It's because tonight I am going to do you a olid bro. Live at BattleCade I am going to walk down to that ring step inside the ring and take care of these two assbags for us! Because one thing you and I agree on is that there is a revolution coming! APW will be shaken to it's very foundation. However there is one detail about all of this that you and I wil probably never see eye to eye on until the fateful day comes where we find ourselves in the ring acros from one another again when I force you feel me when I tel ya that it will be me and only me that sparks that phuckin revolution! Because the difference between me and you Los Del Taco is that you think you're important I
The mother phuckin announcers who said themselves after two weeks I cemented myself as the...Not one of, not among the...THE MOST ENTERTAINING PERSN ON THE ROSTER! So take off your camos, and put on your jam jamz mother phucker cause your services won't be needed this evening ya dig? As a matter of fact Ill go an asile or two over and get yuou a notebook and some pens so you can take some notes. And as much as I hate cliches there is only one thing I hate more, and that's being forced into them...So lemme tell ya this ya painted face BABOON, stay the phuck up out my business or I'll
Johnny makes a left once he reaches the end of the asile and goes all the way down back by the registers but makes a right at the pharmacy. HE walks down the asile that reads HEADACHE, PAIN RELIEVER etc. Johnny walks right up to the bottles of XTRA STRENGTH Advil. He then snags two no three bottles from off the shelf. He looks around and sees this woman who has a basket with only her purse and a stick of deoderant in it. He walks over and removes both her purse and the deoderant at the same time and drops them at her feet, as he looks at her and flashes that arrogant grin as he blows a kiss in her direction as he puts his pillow down into the buggy and then three bottles of ADVIL, keeping one in his hand.
LA Johnny Stylez: Mr. ANderson this shit right here is for you, because being at that cockbag's becking call all day long your head has to be throbbing. I know when I spend too much time around jobbers I get migranes too! Now let me go ahead and tell ya this off the record ok...if this shit right here don't do the trick, don't worry I got you covered if ya need something a lil stronger if your smellin what I'm steppin in huh? Because I am going to be real with you my friend...I have zero problems with you, I think you and I could do some wonderful things on the same side as each other. However if you spit in my face if you reject this once in a lifetime offer I' making you...KNOW THIS...KNow I will bury you right next to that CHUMP who pays you right now! And I shouldn't have top go into detail about how quickly I can do this. You seen me put him down just like everyone else did...And like I said a few minutes ago...LA Johnny STylez OWNS JASON RYAN TEN TIMES OUT OF TEN! But if that little bitch money he pays you right now is enough for ya then by all means stay where you are, but if you want and think bigger. If you want this company and everyone in it to bow at your feet..Then tonight when I get down to the ring you will immediatley come and bring me Jason Ryan's head on a spike where it belongs so that everyone...ANyone who wishes to phuck with us will be able to see for themelves what it's like when Johnny Stylez and his nw compatriots force our enemies to
See ya tonight BITCHEZ!...And don't phuckin forget
...It's Been YoUR PLEASURE!!!
!!!!!4 MiNZ aNd 19 SeCoNDZ 2 LaTE!!!!!
...HAHa SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
But see before we go any further let me just go ahead and tell ya, that most of you, well phuck let's be real ALL OF YOU, have got me so wrong it's not even funny! Ok so maybe it is a little bit kinda, but still the fact remains that even those of you that know me don't even really know me for the real person I am and always have been. Am I a little confident, some would say arrogant? Sure that's a fair assessment, but look at me people and believe me when I phuckin tell ya that
!!!!!THeRe IS SO MuCH MoRE TO Me!!!!!
...ASK THE BLOODLINE TUESDAY MORNING!!!!
I may even come off as a bit crass or rude from time to time, but that's just because I am better with the English language than most of the phuck mooks that make up the Alpha Pro Wrestling roster are at anything! And I thought before we went into this pay per view event I should do something to properly convey to you that very fact. So that from hence fourth when I proclaim to the world, the APW roster more specifically that I am what I say I am. And that incase you have forogtten already or didn't hear me the first time I said it on account of your head being shoved all the way up your ass crack to the point where most of you can even see what you're thinkin! But we will get to that in one very brief moment because before I move forward there is something...Err SOMEONE I need to address...And I know he is sitting somewhere with his thumb jammed in his butthole watching this...So yeah
!!!!JASON F'N RYAN!!!!
...I'M TALKIN TO YOU PUSSY BOY!
Now I gotta tell ya homie...Every single phuckin time I see and hear you it baffles me to literally no end how in the holy phuck you are famous. Cause lemme tell ya asshat, I have been around the block in this business once or twice and I have seen some
!!!!!F'N ABSOLUTE IDIOTZ!!!!!
BUT YOU SIR ARE SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY!!!
I mean you are over there trying to prove your mettel here and there to everyone as your win -loss record gets more lopsided in the wrong direction every single week! And your bright idea to spare your dignity is to come out here and bust a flow on me and my random Tag Team Partner Senior Juevos Rancheros or whatever his name is? And I mean...
?ReaLLy DooD?APPARENTLY YOUR FRIENDS F'N SUCK!!!
Because there is literally no phuckin way you had anything even remotely close to a real friend that watched and listened to that pure crapola that came oozing out of your mouth the same way shit falls out of someone elses ass, and let you air that! Ohh that's completley aside from the fact that you look like one of the
!!!!!!F'N OLSEN TWINZ!!!!!
AFTER A 72 HOUR TRAIGHT CRACK AND HEROINE BINGE!!!!
If you had any real Jason they not only wouldn't let you air that for all of public to see, but they would have helped you destroy video evidence that you even did it to begin with! But thankfuly for me and my friends because we watched that shit, and well to put it as plainly as I can and did...
HAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAHHA
...Ohh, Ohhh I can't...I
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA
OK seriously...I'm sorry dip shit! But wow watching that made me realize that I am right in doing what I am trying to do which is of course rescue the men you have lured to your side with promises of lots of money and what at this point has to be personally delievered and administered sexual favors! But if the only way to get through to them is to speak your language then ok fine...Just to prove that I am
~$~ #BeTTeRTHaNu ~$~
(AS IF THERE WAS EVER ANY DOUBT ANYWAY!!!)
But still...Here whats a good rap battle without a little rebuttle about I right?
Scene then picks up and we Johnny hop down from his large black Ford F-150 on monster truck tires. He slams the door shut and begins walking, as a beat mysteriously kicks on from no where. Johnny looks around seemingly surprised by it as well. He then shrugs his shoulders then holds up his car keys and presses the button locking it and setting his alarm. He then walks in the opposite direction and then proceed to show Jason Ryan HOW IT'S F'N DONE
Jason Ryan is my name
And You've Never heard of me I betcha
Cause I say I was in some movies
But actually I was just an extra
People always laughing when I be talking
Cause Johnny Stylez said I'm a joke
Im supposed to be worth a million dollars
But I wrestle like Im broke.
But my mom she says im special yall
So that shit means I get a pass
SIdes you don't know how hard it is to lead foolz
WHen my heads so far up my ass.
I talk just like I look
Mostly cause I talk before I think
And no one takes me seriously cause
I Look like A LiTTLE EMO KID That Got kicked out of NSync
BUt someone save me from Johnny
Before he stomps me till I'm dead
And embarasses me worse
Than the time Brittney Spearz Shaved Her Head
I say he wants to be me
But I know for sure Johnny's THE GOAT
Honestrly I learned the truth
After the doctors removed his kneecap from my throat
SO now I'm just a chump
With just a prayer and a half full cup
But its hard to be optomistic after he makes me
SOAK SOME UP
He's beat my fuckin face in
He'll always do it ten times out of ten
I said he made me SOAK SOME UP
And he's about to do it all again.
If only I would have listened and took
That long walk over and even shorter cliff
Now if ya smell my bullshit before ya step in it
Go ahead and take a whiff.
Im going to really miss this
Its hard to rap with a broken jaw
But I supposed I should start getting used to being quiet
And eatin all my meals through a fuckin straw.
But im so full of shit ya cant tell my ideas
From when I sit down and take a dump
My name is Jason Ryan But Johnny Stylez
MADE ME A CHUMP
So if ya can't take the heat ya little bitch
GET THE PHUCK UP OUT THE KITCHEN...
Ya RUN YOUR MOUTH TOO MUCH MoRoN
I PRoMiSe IT WoNT HuRT YOU NoNE To LiSTeN!
So drown yourself in the fuckin sink
Or see if you can crawl into the oven
So I can take this cookie cutter
TO PROVE ASSHOLES LIKE YOU ARE A DIME A DOZEN!!!!
(DON'T PLAY WITH ME PUSSY I'LL BURY YOU!!!)
LA Johnny Stylez: Because ya see this is where you mother phuckers got me all wrong. Becaue yes I have been known to be rather rude from time to time, as well as a bit of an arrogant prick. But today I undo all of that, and just to show how great a length I am willing to go so that you people can see I'm not this horrible person most of you make me out to be. I came here to get a pre match gift for not just my tag team partner Ranchero Wrap, but also Jason Ryan and his soon to be former Bloodline Stable Mate! So yall quit dickin aroun out there and follow me! We will take care of my Mexican Jumping Bean Tag Team Partner first! Because since he is my partner he is the most important because I need for him to understand that we are on the same age. And APW if you phucks don't provide me with a translator because I know Dorritos thinks he is good at speaking English to me he kinda sounds like a baby that is learning how to speak only with some buster ass bario accent! SO follow me....And please try not to touch anything ok?
Johnny then leads way as we walk in and immediately see the grocery department to the right. Johnny walks around seemingly like he knows where he is going. We hang a left by the clothles and pass up electronics. We see Johnny standing on his tippy toes trying to figure where to go. He then spots it and hangs another left. He then finally makes it to asile 14 that reads PILLOWS, PILLOWCASES, BED SHEETS etc you get the idea I'm runnin outt words here! Johnny walks over and looks at the selection of pillows up and down. He finally just grabs the one in the middle and tucks it underneath his arm. As he then continues his journey through Wally World!
LA Johnny Stylez: Well Taco Bell I know what you're thinkin...Why in the hell did this Punta Madre buy me a pillow! It's because tonight I am going to do you a olid bro. Live at BattleCade I am going to walk down to that ring step inside the ring and take care of these two assbags for us! Because one thing you and I agree on is that there is a revolution coming! APW will be shaken to it's very foundation. However there is one detail about all of this that you and I wil probably never see eye to eye on until the fateful day comes where we find ourselves in the ring acros from one another again when I force you feel me when I tel ya that it will be me and only me that sparks that phuckin revolution! Because the difference between me and you Los Del Taco is that you think you're important I
!!!!!!AM IMPORTANT!!!!!
ASK THE TWO F'N MEN WHO WATCH MORE APW THAN ANYONE!!!
The mother phuckin announcers who said themselves after two weeks I cemented myself as the...Not one of, not among the...THE MOST ENTERTAINING PERSN ON THE ROSTER! So take off your camos, and put on your jam jamz mother phucker cause your services won't be needed this evening ya dig? As a matter of fact Ill go an asile or two over and get yuou a notebook and some pens so you can take some notes. And as much as I hate cliches there is only one thing I hate more, and that's being forced into them...So lemme tell ya this ya painted face BABOON, stay the phuck up out my business or I'll
!!!!!HuRT YoUR F'N FeeLiNG$!!!!
HoPeFuLLy We UNDeRSTaND EaCH OTHeR!!!!
Johnny makes a left once he reaches the end of the asile and goes all the way down back by the registers but makes a right at the pharmacy. HE walks down the asile that reads HEADACHE, PAIN RELIEVER etc. Johnny walks right up to the bottles of XTRA STRENGTH Advil. He then snags two no three bottles from off the shelf. He looks around and sees this woman who has a basket with only her purse and a stick of deoderant in it. He walks over and removes both her purse and the deoderant at the same time and drops them at her feet, as he looks at her and flashes that arrogant grin as he blows a kiss in her direction as he puts his pillow down into the buggy and then three bottles of ADVIL, keeping one in his hand.
LA Johnny Stylez: Mr. ANderson this shit right here is for you, because being at that cockbag's becking call all day long your head has to be throbbing. I know when I spend too much time around jobbers I get migranes too! Now let me go ahead and tell ya this off the record ok...if this shit right here don't do the trick, don't worry I got you covered if ya need something a lil stronger if your smellin what I'm steppin in huh? Because I am going to be real with you my friend...I have zero problems with you, I think you and I could do some wonderful things on the same side as each other. However if you spit in my face if you reject this once in a lifetime offer I' making you...KNOW THIS...KNow I will bury you right next to that CHUMP who pays you right now! And I shouldn't have top go into detail about how quickly I can do this. You seen me put him down just like everyone else did...And like I said a few minutes ago...LA Johnny STylez OWNS JASON RYAN TEN TIMES OUT OF TEN! But if that little bitch money he pays you right now is enough for ya then by all means stay where you are, but if you want and think bigger. If you want this company and everyone in it to bow at your feet..Then tonight when I get down to the ring you will immediatley come and bring me Jason Ryan's head on a spike where it belongs so that everyone...ANyone who wishes to phuck with us will be able to see for themelves what it's like when Johnny Stylez and his nw compatriots force our enemies to
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!UP!!!!!!!!!!
See ya tonight BITCHEZ!...And don't phuckin forget
...It's Been YoUR PLEASURE!!!
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??
