Post by TheSituation on Mar 28, 2020 14:53:22 GMT -5
Mike The Situation Matthews is sat, calm and relaxed in a very uncomfortable chair in the middle of a very busy airport terminal. As people rush and run around he just keeps swiping right on his phone minding his own business. As the camera moves forward, the big man dressed in a bulls jersey takes his beats off and turns to look at the camera. He leans in close as if about to tell a secret.
“Hey, it’s me big boy M, meat monster Mikey, the sitch, big man the situation. And hey you don’t know me, and i don’t know you either Alpha universe. But we bout to get to aquinting. We’re gonna be besties, it’s arrrite”
The Sitch sits back in his tiny airport chair he barely fits in and tries to get comfortable.
“Arrite let me tell you the situation. Today is Sunday. I got my Alpha debut on Monday night against Jimmy Goodnight, what a joker, but we will get to that ting. I’m flying over to Ohio now and I thought I was gonna miss this plane. Which ain’t no struggle i coulda spent all afternoon driving down there. But who wants that stress on the eve of ya debut. Soooo I made it cause my boi Blu Tully dumped my ass in the back of a taxi and paid the man to get me here. I woke up in this damn chair with the ticket in my hand!”
He waves the ticket about furiously.
“Ya see last night we partied hard. I ain’t even been home yet, at least i don’t remember, i got no damn idea how my luggage is here. The last thing I remember is dancing with this fine bootylicious chick. We were vibing and enjoying the niiight! Then SMACK! This fool roundhouses me in my damn eye. I’m lucky I don't have a big black eye for my upcoming debut. Let's back this up, so this woman was thick and i...hahah na i know you wanna hear about the guy hitting me, okay. The night started at my place with the boys. Pizza and beers, we chilling throwing on some classic matches getting me in the mood for the debut. We had about five beers and one of the guys throws it out there: let’s hit the clubs. What an absolute legend and a legendary move. Of course we hit them damn clubs.
“An hour later I’m throwing shapes and smacking them shots, you know how it is. The sitch plays it hard! So i’m drunk now and one of the boys decided it’s time to get in one last training session for my debut. We wrestling he gets thrown over a table, drinks going everywhere, bouncers jump in, one of them eats a big boot, another get’s spin busted through a table. You guessed it, we get kicked out. Probably never returning to Smoking Aces, damn shame. No loss, we jump into the next club. Jump back on those shots and hit the floor. I’m shredding it to Nelly Furtado at this point when this thick boy walks up to me looking for a fight. Turns out one of those bouncers wasn’t a bouncer and this fella followed me looking for his pound of flesh. We’ll i’d give him pounds for days. Lord knows I got enough to share around hahaha! But My boy Teddy K saw some sense in it and defused the matter.
“And so nothing sparked off again we bounced to the third club. I sober up a little and the sitch gets to think about this Jimmy Goodnight guy. First off, stupid name. Secondly, stupid face. But the road agent on the phone a couple nights back told me he’s a recovering mental patient and wrestling is a part of this therapy. That shit had me on the floor crying in laughter. Every third wrestler over six feet has that gimmick….and no one cares! What I do care about is his nickname. The hook man. Has he got a hook for hand, cause that makes a simple collar elbow tie up way more painful than i signed up for. But I got thirty odd pounds on the guy so I reckon I can throw him about and jump on him. He ain’t hurting me I got this locked down. So then i thought why am i letting this bother me on my good luck night out. It’s a monday morning problem….hopefully not a tuesday morning problem haha.
"BUT last night was not good luck. I got to dancing with this girl, things were going great. I’d bet your house on her riding home with the sitch. No such luck, you would have lost your house, sorry. That guy follows us to the third club, finds me and cheap shots me. Na. I ain’t taking that. Especially not in front of my future wife. If only, she ran away, I didn't get her number. So I took this fool outside, cut the story short, he got chokeslammed onto the hood of a car. Moment of the week. Then disaster of the week the bouncers take us down and my head goes spinning. I don't remember the rest. This was four in the morning, which is like eight hours ago. I’m at the airport now so no stress, just headaches. But hey, I win my debut then me and boys doing it all again next weekend! Woop woop. So that’s the situation. I gotta grab a damn mijito or something!”
