Post by Alex Richards on Mar 22, 2020 10:55:55 GMT -5
Alex Richards, his girlfriend Rebecca Thatch and his brother Shaun Zach are all inside the Drunken Dragon. A locked and closed Drunken Dragon.
I can't believe they shut down free booze and bikini night!
Your party would have had over 50 people and there is a state of emergency.
I bought that orange and neon pink bikini for nothing. Not to mention all that car wax.
What on earth were you going to do with car wax?
Easy.. wax the stage.. or if you were brave wax yourself and the stage and go for a slip and slide across it.
That sounds dangerous.
That's the fun of it! Besides they would have catch most people.
You honestly think the crowd would have caught you?
Alex laughs
That's part of the fun! Without danger..
There is no fun! Hence why we're both bored off our trees in here!
At least we're safe. Nobody has ever died of boredom.
Becky and I could be the first.
Be ironic wouldn't it? All the pyschopaths in the world couldn't kill us.. but boredom does.
You know for some people like Smith Jones and Damon Warrens this would be paradise. Them spending them with their beloved.
Gag me.
Exactly!
Hey.. that's my idea of a good time too!
Like Smith Damon.. your life is boring. Smith's idea of excitement is the fact he recently got engaged. Ever think that maybe your wrestlers on tv should be larger then life.. maybe they should have more going on then your average person. If I got down on one knee and proposed to you Becky what would you do?
Yawn.
How about if we climbed to the top of Mount Everest with parachutes and I tossed the ring off the side then we jumped after it?
Why.. that's what every girl really wants!
No.. it isn't.
You're right. But that's what WE want. People like the Enforcers... we don't enjoy the ordinary. Odin used to hang out with a raccoon!
I remember him! He was cute in a rabid kinda way.
Odin is a demi God. I have the ability to do this..
Alex walks to the stage of his club for dramatic effect... and promptly disappears.. then does his invisible man drinking a boot of Zim-Quila routine before reappearing.
Do you know why Alex and Odin are feared everywhere we go? Because we are two badasses who can handle any situation.
Except guanentine.
I can because going out puts the two of you at risk. I'm gonna live to 105 God himself told me that. Odin is probably gonna live at least twice that long. But some things.. even someone with my power can't fight.. not without hurting the ones that I love. Sometimes you gotta know your limitations...
Do you know your limitations Architects? It's okay. The first two teams we faced they didn't know their limitations either. We showed the Hixxblade Sisters what it's like to have talent. We showed Red Wedding that it takes more then giving yourselves a team name to really be a tag team. Now it's time for your lesson Smith and Damon.
It's a shame Smith. You worked so hard to be the greatest superstar in APW history. Your hard work paid off too. Some people are going to remember you as the greatest superstar in APW history. You know what we call those people? Easily fooled.
Alex chuckles.
I don't blame the people though. Smith is a smart man. Every week he comes out APW television and does an interview. To remind the people of what a huge deal he is. Do you see Odin or me doing that? Hell no... because we don't need to. Everyone already knows what a huge deal we are. Odin and I are both WCF hall of famers. I'm a UCI hall of famer. When people think of UCI they remember me. When people think of WCF they remember Odin. I was the first dominant champion of UCI. Odin was the last dominant champion of the WCF. Now we're here in APW dogging the only two time champion in APW history. It don't make no sense does it? On the surface at least.
Smith has another record.. one is isn't going to brag about. Smith is a two time world champion.. who never actually beat a world champion for his belt. I beat Bonnie Blue for my WCF world title, and Howard Black for my UCI world title. Two great champions, two people who deserved those titles.. up until the moment I proved I wanted them more.. deserved them more. Taking a world title from someone who earned it.. proves you deserve that championship. You didn't do that Smith. You beat Zombie McMorris in a two out of three falls match to win your first title. Then you beat FPV to win your second. Not only were neither of them the champion going on.. but you didn't even have to earn your way into neither of those matches! Z Mac won a tournament to get his chance at the vacant world title. You got in there as a consolation prize for losing to the last world champion. FPV got into the match for the world title by winning the Monday Night Metal Rumble.. literally beating everyone on the roster and then some. You got in there by losing to the last world champion. Anybody else seeing a pattern?
You have a history of failing upward Smith. The Enforcers.. we have a history on taking on the best in whatever federation is lucky enough to be graced with our presence. How can you possibly think that what you've done so far is good enough? Bitch.. it ain't even close to impressing the Enforcers let alone frightening us. Think about this... Odin and myself have been lurking in the APW since the beginning. We have never challenged you. Because to us.. you and your Architects.. that ain't no real challenge. Smith Jones is the so called best in APW, please.. I had multiple matches against Corey Black. The greatest of all time. Compared to him you might as well be Adam Young!
Alex shakes his head.
Sorry to put over Adam Young but it's true. Now as for Damon Warrens.. I've tramed with and fought against Oblivion. You think you're some kind of a monster.. that's a real monster. We didn't go out of our way to challenge the Artitects because we already knew how it was going to go. We already knew it was no contest. Odin and I have been wrestling for a long time.. but that doesn't mean we like to waste our time with pointless challenges. Because make no mistake Artitects to us that's exactly what you are. I mean to normal wrestlers you guys are a challenge but to the Demi God and the King of Mass Confusion.. you are what you are. A warm up. We entered this tournament to defeat the Man Made Gods. Two wrestlers actually worthy of our attention. If you guys are the best APW has to offer.. it's no wonder The Enforcers don't wrestle here full time! We didn't even compete in the Royal Rumble.. because both of us thought.. beat Smith Jones for the vacant world title. Nah man.. we got better stuff to do.
Alex raises his hands.
I'm sorry once again but it's the truth. Smith.. Damon.. you don't even qualify on our threat level scale. People are going to think this is all bullshit but I'm a straight shooter. I always tell the truth.. people just don't always want to hear it. Last week you guys proved every word I said tonight correct. You went on Metal last week literally to draw attention to yourselves. See.. Damon and Smith are competing for the world title in the main event. They wanted to convince the fans they had a chance in the tag team title tournament. So they went on television and tried to get the tournament finals delayed because they would have to compete twice? How fucking pointless is that? Bitches.. you are competing against each other and as a team. You are facing each other! How would there be a disadvantage for either of you? You literally went on tv just to suck your own cocks about how great you are.
Alex pauses.
Why would you have to do that? More importantly why would you do that BEFORE you even made the finals. Is it because you knew it was the LAST chance you would have to do that. Because after you face the Enforcers everybody would know that you've been bounced from the tournament and you ain't making the finals. The funny thing is.. I'm not just saying that.. that's what your actions told me.
If we're being honest that's what your career told me. You don't match up to the Enforcers because you haven't even matched up to the world champions you've faced. You won the Alpha Showdown. That should be impressive, right? Except for the fact that winning the Alpha Showdown means you beat everyone who wasn't good enough to win or even challenge for a title. Any title. That means that compared to the House of Sweetness, Trent Page, and Nyeo Son.. you come up lacking. WHO THE FUCK ARE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE? I can answer that.. they were all people Irina thought deserved a title shot more then you Smith. I'm not slandering you.. I'm simply stating the facts. But all credit to you.. you won Alpha Showdown.. you earned your world title match. Now full credit.. you gave Masuda Jubei one hell of a fight. One problem though.. shortly after Jubei competed in XIII's king of the deathmatch where Jayson Price completely dominated him. This should worry you because I decimated Jayson Price in a hell in a cell match in UCI. I beat him to the point where he was forced to go into retirement for awhile. Think about this.. Jayson Price is the highest profile WCF hall of fame stub in history and I destroyed him. What do you think I'm going to do to you and your Artitects Jones? Maybe someone similar to what I did to Steven Osbourne. It took me minutes to send him to a hospital and end his career. He beat you didn't he, Smith? You know what else? You have never gotten a re match out of any of your high profile losses. Jubei, Osbourne, Dean Wolf. You know your limitations don't you? You didn't want a re match because you knew you were beaten.. you knew that they were better then you.
Seems harsh right? Well thanks to you.. Dean Wolf will always be remembered as a APW world champion. You were the one who wasn't good enough to beat that sack of human waste. Don't blame me.. I fought Dean Wolf in the WCF and guess what.. I fucking annailated that chump! You know why Smith? Because I'm better then him.. and then means I'm better then you too! No way I want to be responsible for the disgraces the Architects would lose the tag titles to. Probably two hobos fighting for a box of kraft dinner. No matter The Enforcers are already masters of tag team wrestling now we are gonna be literal saviors of tag team wrestling by making sure you guys don't get the belts and ruin APW's crediblity.. anymore then you have already.
Alex very comtemptiously takes a drink.
Smith by yourself you couldn't dominate. You couldn't beat the big stars here which I have already proven aren't big stars everywhere else. You're a sorta big fish in a small pond. Odin and I are giants every single fucking place we go! So you created the Architects. Three guys talking about their greatness just carries more weight then one. Except if you have to back it up against real talent like the Enforcers. But until then you can pretend to be big stars for as long as you want. But you can't fool me Damon. You're supposed to be scary. You'd be scarier if you changed your name to Damon Wayons and pretended to Homie The Clown! You call yourselves the Architects. How appropriate. Architects create things out of thin air. Like your fame. But the thing about designs.. someone has to buy into them. I don't.. the Enforcers don't. This week your design becomes your destruction.
Suddenly a rogue van lands right in the middle of the bar damaging nothing. The door opens revealing..
FUTURE ALEX!
The Alex from the future looks at his present day self.
You know what would cure your boredom? A little time travel..
I thought you'd never ask!
Never ask? I got here literally seconds ago
Alex cuts his future self off with a huge bear hug as the whole gang piles into the van.
I can't believe they shut down free booze and bikini night!
Your party would have had over 50 people and there is a state of emergency.
I bought that orange and neon pink bikini for nothing. Not to mention all that car wax.
What on earth were you going to do with car wax?
Easy.. wax the stage.. or if you were brave wax yourself and the stage and go for a slip and slide across it.
That sounds dangerous.
That's the fun of it! Besides they would have catch most people.
You honestly think the crowd would have caught you?
Alex laughs
That's part of the fun! Without danger..
There is no fun! Hence why we're both bored off our trees in here!
At least we're safe. Nobody has ever died of boredom.
Becky and I could be the first.
Be ironic wouldn't it? All the pyschopaths in the world couldn't kill us.. but boredom does.
You know for some people like Smith Jones and Damon Warrens this would be paradise. Them spending them with their beloved.
Gag me.
Exactly!
Hey.. that's my idea of a good time too!
Like Smith Damon.. your life is boring. Smith's idea of excitement is the fact he recently got engaged. Ever think that maybe your wrestlers on tv should be larger then life.. maybe they should have more going on then your average person. If I got down on one knee and proposed to you Becky what would you do?
Yawn.
How about if we climbed to the top of Mount Everest with parachutes and I tossed the ring off the side then we jumped after it?
Why.. that's what every girl really wants!
No.. it isn't.
You're right. But that's what WE want. People like the Enforcers... we don't enjoy the ordinary. Odin used to hang out with a raccoon!
I remember him! He was cute in a rabid kinda way.
Odin is a demi God. I have the ability to do this..
Alex walks to the stage of his club for dramatic effect... and promptly disappears.. then does his invisible man drinking a boot of Zim-Quila routine before reappearing.
Do you know why Alex and Odin are feared everywhere we go? Because we are two badasses who can handle any situation.
Except guanentine.
I can because going out puts the two of you at risk. I'm gonna live to 105 God himself told me that. Odin is probably gonna live at least twice that long. But some things.. even someone with my power can't fight.. not without hurting the ones that I love. Sometimes you gotta know your limitations...
Do you know your limitations Architects? It's okay. The first two teams we faced they didn't know their limitations either. We showed the Hixxblade Sisters what it's like to have talent. We showed Red Wedding that it takes more then giving yourselves a team name to really be a tag team. Now it's time for your lesson Smith and Damon.
It's a shame Smith. You worked so hard to be the greatest superstar in APW history. Your hard work paid off too. Some people are going to remember you as the greatest superstar in APW history. You know what we call those people? Easily fooled.
Alex chuckles.
I don't blame the people though. Smith is a smart man. Every week he comes out APW television and does an interview. To remind the people of what a huge deal he is. Do you see Odin or me doing that? Hell no... because we don't need to. Everyone already knows what a huge deal we are. Odin and I are both WCF hall of famers. I'm a UCI hall of famer. When people think of UCI they remember me. When people think of WCF they remember Odin. I was the first dominant champion of UCI. Odin was the last dominant champion of the WCF. Now we're here in APW dogging the only two time champion in APW history. It don't make no sense does it? On the surface at least.
Smith has another record.. one is isn't going to brag about. Smith is a two time world champion.. who never actually beat a world champion for his belt. I beat Bonnie Blue for my WCF world title, and Howard Black for my UCI world title. Two great champions, two people who deserved those titles.. up until the moment I proved I wanted them more.. deserved them more. Taking a world title from someone who earned it.. proves you deserve that championship. You didn't do that Smith. You beat Zombie McMorris in a two out of three falls match to win your first title. Then you beat FPV to win your second. Not only were neither of them the champion going on.. but you didn't even have to earn your way into neither of those matches! Z Mac won a tournament to get his chance at the vacant world title. You got in there as a consolation prize for losing to the last world champion. FPV got into the match for the world title by winning the Monday Night Metal Rumble.. literally beating everyone on the roster and then some. You got in there by losing to the last world champion. Anybody else seeing a pattern?
You have a history of failing upward Smith. The Enforcers.. we have a history on taking on the best in whatever federation is lucky enough to be graced with our presence. How can you possibly think that what you've done so far is good enough? Bitch.. it ain't even close to impressing the Enforcers let alone frightening us. Think about this... Odin and myself have been lurking in the APW since the beginning. We have never challenged you. Because to us.. you and your Architects.. that ain't no real challenge. Smith Jones is the so called best in APW, please.. I had multiple matches against Corey Black. The greatest of all time. Compared to him you might as well be Adam Young!
Alex shakes his head.
Sorry to put over Adam Young but it's true. Now as for Damon Warrens.. I've tramed with and fought against Oblivion. You think you're some kind of a monster.. that's a real monster. We didn't go out of our way to challenge the Artitects because we already knew how it was going to go. We already knew it was no contest. Odin and I have been wrestling for a long time.. but that doesn't mean we like to waste our time with pointless challenges. Because make no mistake Artitects to us that's exactly what you are. I mean to normal wrestlers you guys are a challenge but to the Demi God and the King of Mass Confusion.. you are what you are. A warm up. We entered this tournament to defeat the Man Made Gods. Two wrestlers actually worthy of our attention. If you guys are the best APW has to offer.. it's no wonder The Enforcers don't wrestle here full time! We didn't even compete in the Royal Rumble.. because both of us thought.. beat Smith Jones for the vacant world title. Nah man.. we got better stuff to do.
Alex raises his hands.
I'm sorry once again but it's the truth. Smith.. Damon.. you don't even qualify on our threat level scale. People are going to think this is all bullshit but I'm a straight shooter. I always tell the truth.. people just don't always want to hear it. Last week you guys proved every word I said tonight correct. You went on Metal last week literally to draw attention to yourselves. See.. Damon and Smith are competing for the world title in the main event. They wanted to convince the fans they had a chance in the tag team title tournament. So they went on television and tried to get the tournament finals delayed because they would have to compete twice? How fucking pointless is that? Bitches.. you are competing against each other and as a team. You are facing each other! How would there be a disadvantage for either of you? You literally went on tv just to suck your own cocks about how great you are.
Alex pauses.
Why would you have to do that? More importantly why would you do that BEFORE you even made the finals. Is it because you knew it was the LAST chance you would have to do that. Because after you face the Enforcers everybody would know that you've been bounced from the tournament and you ain't making the finals. The funny thing is.. I'm not just saying that.. that's what your actions told me.
If we're being honest that's what your career told me. You don't match up to the Enforcers because you haven't even matched up to the world champions you've faced. You won the Alpha Showdown. That should be impressive, right? Except for the fact that winning the Alpha Showdown means you beat everyone who wasn't good enough to win or even challenge for a title. Any title. That means that compared to the House of Sweetness, Trent Page, and Nyeo Son.. you come up lacking. WHO THE FUCK ARE ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE? I can answer that.. they were all people Irina thought deserved a title shot more then you Smith. I'm not slandering you.. I'm simply stating the facts. But all credit to you.. you won Alpha Showdown.. you earned your world title match. Now full credit.. you gave Masuda Jubei one hell of a fight. One problem though.. shortly after Jubei competed in XIII's king of the deathmatch where Jayson Price completely dominated him. This should worry you because I decimated Jayson Price in a hell in a cell match in UCI. I beat him to the point where he was forced to go into retirement for awhile. Think about this.. Jayson Price is the highest profile WCF hall of fame stub in history and I destroyed him. What do you think I'm going to do to you and your Artitects Jones? Maybe someone similar to what I did to Steven Osbourne. It took me minutes to send him to a hospital and end his career. He beat you didn't he, Smith? You know what else? You have never gotten a re match out of any of your high profile losses. Jubei, Osbourne, Dean Wolf. You know your limitations don't you? You didn't want a re match because you knew you were beaten.. you knew that they were better then you.
Seems harsh right? Well thanks to you.. Dean Wolf will always be remembered as a APW world champion. You were the one who wasn't good enough to beat that sack of human waste. Don't blame me.. I fought Dean Wolf in the WCF and guess what.. I fucking annailated that chump! You know why Smith? Because I'm better then him.. and then means I'm better then you too! No way I want to be responsible for the disgraces the Architects would lose the tag titles to. Probably two hobos fighting for a box of kraft dinner. No matter The Enforcers are already masters of tag team wrestling now we are gonna be literal saviors of tag team wrestling by making sure you guys don't get the belts and ruin APW's crediblity.. anymore then you have already.
Alex very comtemptiously takes a drink.
Smith by yourself you couldn't dominate. You couldn't beat the big stars here which I have already proven aren't big stars everywhere else. You're a sorta big fish in a small pond. Odin and I are giants every single fucking place we go! So you created the Architects. Three guys talking about their greatness just carries more weight then one. Except if you have to back it up against real talent like the Enforcers. But until then you can pretend to be big stars for as long as you want. But you can't fool me Damon. You're supposed to be scary. You'd be scarier if you changed your name to Damon Wayons and pretended to Homie The Clown! You call yourselves the Architects. How appropriate. Architects create things out of thin air. Like your fame. But the thing about designs.. someone has to buy into them. I don't.. the Enforcers don't. This week your design becomes your destruction.
Suddenly a rogue van lands right in the middle of the bar damaging nothing. The door opens revealing..
FUTURE ALEX!
The Alex from the future looks at his present day self.
You know what would cure your boredom? A little time travel..
I thought you'd never ask!
Never ask? I got here literally seconds ago
Alex cuts his future self off with a huge bear hug as the whole gang piles into the van.
