Post by cyborg878 on Mar 21, 2020 20:07:12 GMT -5
A video feed switches on and the viewers find themselves being led through a Walmart. The camera turns to face Damon Warrens and Jaime Cortez. The two lovers are hand in hand walking through the store. In the background swarms of people scatter around the store seemingly grabbing anything they can get their hands on. Several carts are loaded up with Lysol wipes and hand sanitzer. As the men push their cart through the aisles a middle age woman in a hurry rams her cart into theirs. She furrows her brows at the two and hurries off towards the cleaning section of the store. The small interaction sparks a wicked grin on Damon's face. He turns to Jaime who cocks an eyebrow at Damon's look.
Damon: My love... how about we go stir the pot a little? It has been so long since I got to cause a little chaos... and i think the world has presented me with just the perfect situation to do so, wouldn't you agree?
Jaime: God you're sexy when you get devious..
The twisted man followed dutifully by his supportive lover begin their journey into the fires of chaos themselves...the toilet paper section. On their way they narrowly dodge more Karen's aggressively weaving through the store to presumably speak to managers over the lack of preferential service to them and their soccer mom haircuts. The happy couple arrives at their destination and the sight they arrive to is spectacularly tumultuous. A Walmart employee stands in front of a pyramid of toilet paper packs. The young man has his hands out trying hold a horde of ravenous customers at bay as if he were Chris Pratt in Jurassic World keeping the velociraptors from eating him. As Damon and Jaime walk upon the scene they can see a look of pure fear in the young man's eyes. Seeing the worker's terror in the situation Damon takes pity and decides to use his idea of chaos for some good. He steps forward and as he does several customers whip around ready to tackle the Nitemare to get what they want.
Damon: Ladies....gentlemen... I understand that we're all very scared right now, but this isn't the way to go about this. Look at this poor young gentleman.. his life is flashing before his eyes... and judging by the fact that he's stuck working in a place like this staring down a bloodthirsty mob to try and pay his bills....
Just as Damon finishes his plea for mercy, but as he does he lets out a cough. When he coughs the mob all simultaneously twitches in concern.
Damon: So sorry... what I'm trying to say is -
Damon coughs into his hand and now the crowd is really taking notice. They begin to back away as Damon holds his hand out in an attempt to stop their fear.
Damon: Heyheyhey it's okay there's nothing to wo-
Damon doubles over coughing uncontrollably. As he hacks and wheezes the gathered army of customers begin to disperse wildly. A woman shouts about Damon having "the corona" and they all flee. Once the crowd is gone Damon's coughing turns to laughter. He stands upright and smirks as he looks over to Jaime who closes the lens on his camera after filming the spectacle.
Damon:Fuck that was fun mi amor. You okay kid?
The worker slowly nods his head, the tension leaving his body as he relaxes with the realization that he is no longer in danger of a stampede, for the time being, and that Damon was faking his apparent illness to scare everyone off. Damon then walks to the pyramid of toilet paper and begins loading packs into his cart. After he has amassed enough of a collection he nods to the worker before he and Jaime take off towards the sanitizer.
Jaime: So that was fun and all, but can i ask... why are we buying all of this? Are you actually this worried?
Damon:Not in the slightest. I'm young, I'm in great health, I practice good fucking hygiene.. I have little to worry about.
Jaime: So again I ask... why the fuck are we buying all of this? Just to fuel the chaos?
Damon: No no dear sweet Jaime. I may be a sick bastard when it comes to wrestling... and well admittedly it occasionally seeps into my outside life as well... but that being said something I've always stood for is being the voice for those being unheard. So today we're going to harness the power of absolute chaos to spread a little good to people who need it. With the world devolving into one giant crossover episode of Extreme Couponing and Hoarders people who are at genuine risk to catch this virus aren't going to be able to get the supplies they need because the Karens of the world need forty of everything just in case. With that in mind we are going to make donation packages for some local retirement homes and homeless shelters.
Jaime smiles ear to ear, beaming with pride at his boyfriend's hidden heart of gold. The two continue to load up on supplies as the scene fades to black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The video feed comes to life bringing the audience back into the dark room with the spotlight. The camera's view falls onto Damon Warrens as per usual, but this time Damon has a medical mask on over his mouth and latex gloves on his hands. As Damon begins to speak his words are slightly muffled by the mask.
Damon: We are in trying times APW... with all the madness in the world people are tearing each other to pieces over simple things like toilet paper. It is utter insanity. With fear taking over society because of the Corona Virus we see typically kind people ready to fight in order to hoard any groceries they can tear out of another's hand. It is exactly this kind of chaos that I thrive in. It is exactly this type of fear that I like to manipulate.
Damon carefully removes the mask from his mouth before depositing them on the floor beside him.
Damon: I want you to know dearest fans of Architects Pro Wrestling... I am not afraid. The Architects are not afraid. We have seen pandemics come and go. We have seen illnesses try to spread.. hell the Bloodline and their underwhelming leader are trying to do that just now. Fear not.. we shall stay the strong, loud, and resilient leaders that will provide a cure for bullshit. This leads me to this week... we have something else to cure... further mediocrity.
Damon shudders in disgust at the concept.
Damon: Far worse in my opinion than this virus taking a hold of the world is the disease that is infecting APW as of late. Mediocrity genuinely sickens me. This week we find another source of the problem in this company.. the Enforcers. Odin and Richards.. you've had this wonderful little Enforcers reunion to some recent success. Kudos to you. Smitty and I find ourselves in a very similar situation. Since our reunion and our alignment with Mr. Collins the Architects have been a shining beacon of hope leading towards a better future for this company free of the bland and untalented. On the other hand stands the Enforcers... the only beacon you men have been able to shine is the one that leads APW further into obscurity.
Damon steps into the darkness to symbolize the affects of people like the Enforcers. He continues to talk from the shadows, his voice being the only indication he is still there.
Damon: On one hand we have the epitome of bad choices Alex Richards. Alex is the poster boy of "how to downward spiral". The so-called "King of Mass Confusion" has checked off almost everything he could to fuck up his life. This former convict is the exact last person who should be representing Architects Pro Wrestling as any sort of champion. Beyond his jail time this man is a self medicating alcoholic. An alcoholic who has gone on to create his own booze! What a great way to spread your struggles to the world! APW deserves better than you. The fans deserve someone better to look up to. Someone like me. Someone who has never touched a drop of liquor or abused any medications. A man who has never served prison time. I am a true role-model that this company needs to embrace Alex. You are the black sheep of the family that we need to send away.
The Nitemare continues to speak whilst unseen. He pauses for a moment, but when he speaks again his disgust is replaced with an exasperated disappointment.
Damon: His partner although not as disgusting of a human being... is just as terrible a hero for fans to emulate. This is a man who couldn't muster enough force to overcome Billy Pepsi to represent Action Packed Wrestling. This is a man who lost a dark match to Mr. Dangerous. A man who's most exciting moment was being superkicked off of a War Games cage and landing in a worthless heap. Odin claims to be the All Father... but he is a false god who has let his followers down time and time again. Odin is an old dog who doesn't know that he is well beyond his prime..and in all truth his prime wasn't much to impress with either. This is a man I have heard described as "A flop in any major promotion he finds his way to".... and from what I've seen... I can't argue.
Damon emerges from his home in the darkness and when he does he has on a white tragedy mask that has become a haunting familiarity. This mask obscures all of the man's visible emotions with the exception of his eyes which blaze with an unstoppable determination.
Damon: Gentlemen I beg you.. bring your mass confusion.. bring about Ragnarok. I am asking you to do something that has yet to happen since I joined this company.... give me a challenge. You may have the size advantage over the two of us, but size cannot make up for a deficiency in skill.. which happens to be where dear Smitty and I more than excel. Smitty is one of the best in ring technicians the world has ever seen. I am a cerebral sadist. Vicious, but calculated. Again it cannot be ignored that the two people that you seem to think you can easily dismiss and forget about... are the current reigning world champion and his number one contender. We are the top ranked talent in this company. I overcame the Unlucky Thirteen on my own... think about what I'm capable of withstanding.. of decimating when I have Smith Jones by my side. Do you seriously believe that a drunk convict and a delusional boomer stand a chance against the greatest force this company has ever known? The Architects aren't part timers who show up when it conveniently fits..when it doesn't interfere with courts dates and house arrests.... or early bird specials... no. Unlike the two of you we are here every week. We are here backing up every word that leaves our mouths with pure dominance. We aren't giving empty promises.. we have brought about every prediction we have made. You may think you can withstand our onslaught, but I caution you.. we are deadly to the elderly and to those with compromised health... those with poisons in their body.
Damon walks close to the camera so that only his mask is visible.
Damon: The Architects are unavoidable. Our influence is spreading by the day. You might even say that we've gone viral... and Odin... Richards...
THERE'S NO CURE.
The feed cuts out with the last image being the eerie white mask with a tortured frown.
Damon: My love... how about we go stir the pot a little? It has been so long since I got to cause a little chaos... and i think the world has presented me with just the perfect situation to do so, wouldn't you agree?
Jaime: God you're sexy when you get devious..
The twisted man followed dutifully by his supportive lover begin their journey into the fires of chaos themselves...the toilet paper section. On their way they narrowly dodge more Karen's aggressively weaving through the store to presumably speak to managers over the lack of preferential service to them and their soccer mom haircuts. The happy couple arrives at their destination and the sight they arrive to is spectacularly tumultuous. A Walmart employee stands in front of a pyramid of toilet paper packs. The young man has his hands out trying hold a horde of ravenous customers at bay as if he were Chris Pratt in Jurassic World keeping the velociraptors from eating him. As Damon and Jaime walk upon the scene they can see a look of pure fear in the young man's eyes. Seeing the worker's terror in the situation Damon takes pity and decides to use his idea of chaos for some good. He steps forward and as he does several customers whip around ready to tackle the Nitemare to get what they want.
Damon: Ladies....gentlemen... I understand that we're all very scared right now, but this isn't the way to go about this. Look at this poor young gentleman.. his life is flashing before his eyes... and judging by the fact that he's stuck working in a place like this staring down a bloodthirsty mob to try and pay his bills....
*COUGH*
Just as Damon finishes his plea for mercy, but as he does he lets out a cough. When he coughs the mob all simultaneously twitches in concern.
Damon: So sorry... what I'm trying to say is -
*COUGH*
Damon coughs into his hand and now the crowd is really taking notice. They begin to back away as Damon holds his hand out in an attempt to stop their fear.
Damon: Heyheyhey it's okay there's nothing to wo-
*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*
Damon doubles over coughing uncontrollably. As he hacks and wheezes the gathered army of customers begin to disperse wildly. A woman shouts about Damon having "the corona" and they all flee. Once the crowd is gone Damon's coughing turns to laughter. He stands upright and smirks as he looks over to Jaime who closes the lens on his camera after filming the spectacle.
Damon:Fuck that was fun mi amor. You okay kid?
The worker slowly nods his head, the tension leaving his body as he relaxes with the realization that he is no longer in danger of a stampede, for the time being, and that Damon was faking his apparent illness to scare everyone off. Damon then walks to the pyramid of toilet paper and begins loading packs into his cart. After he has amassed enough of a collection he nods to the worker before he and Jaime take off towards the sanitizer.
Jaime: So that was fun and all, but can i ask... why are we buying all of this? Are you actually this worried?
Damon:Not in the slightest. I'm young, I'm in great health, I practice good fucking hygiene.. I have little to worry about.
Jaime: So again I ask... why the fuck are we buying all of this? Just to fuel the chaos?
Damon: No no dear sweet Jaime. I may be a sick bastard when it comes to wrestling... and well admittedly it occasionally seeps into my outside life as well... but that being said something I've always stood for is being the voice for those being unheard. So today we're going to harness the power of absolute chaos to spread a little good to people who need it. With the world devolving into one giant crossover episode of Extreme Couponing and Hoarders people who are at genuine risk to catch this virus aren't going to be able to get the supplies they need because the Karens of the world need forty of everything just in case. With that in mind we are going to make donation packages for some local retirement homes and homeless shelters.
Jaime smiles ear to ear, beaming with pride at his boyfriend's hidden heart of gold. The two continue to load up on supplies as the scene fades to black.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The video feed comes to life bringing the audience back into the dark room with the spotlight. The camera's view falls onto Damon Warrens as per usual, but this time Damon has a medical mask on over his mouth and latex gloves on his hands. As Damon begins to speak his words are slightly muffled by the mask.
Damon: We are in trying times APW... with all the madness in the world people are tearing each other to pieces over simple things like toilet paper. It is utter insanity. With fear taking over society because of the Corona Virus we see typically kind people ready to fight in order to hoard any groceries they can tear out of another's hand. It is exactly this kind of chaos that I thrive in. It is exactly this type of fear that I like to manipulate.
Damon carefully removes the mask from his mouth before depositing them on the floor beside him.
Damon: I want you to know dearest fans of Architects Pro Wrestling... I am not afraid. The Architects are not afraid. We have seen pandemics come and go. We have seen illnesses try to spread.. hell the Bloodline and their underwhelming leader are trying to do that just now. Fear not.. we shall stay the strong, loud, and resilient leaders that will provide a cure for bullshit. This leads me to this week... we have something else to cure... further mediocrity.
Damon shudders in disgust at the concept.
Damon: Far worse in my opinion than this virus taking a hold of the world is the disease that is infecting APW as of late. Mediocrity genuinely sickens me. This week we find another source of the problem in this company.. the Enforcers. Odin and Richards.. you've had this wonderful little Enforcers reunion to some recent success. Kudos to you. Smitty and I find ourselves in a very similar situation. Since our reunion and our alignment with Mr. Collins the Architects have been a shining beacon of hope leading towards a better future for this company free of the bland and untalented. On the other hand stands the Enforcers... the only beacon you men have been able to shine is the one that leads APW further into obscurity.
Damon steps into the darkness to symbolize the affects of people like the Enforcers. He continues to talk from the shadows, his voice being the only indication he is still there.
Damon: On one hand we have the epitome of bad choices Alex Richards. Alex is the poster boy of "how to downward spiral". The so-called "King of Mass Confusion" has checked off almost everything he could to fuck up his life. This former convict is the exact last person who should be representing Architects Pro Wrestling as any sort of champion. Beyond his jail time this man is a self medicating alcoholic. An alcoholic who has gone on to create his own booze! What a great way to spread your struggles to the world! APW deserves better than you. The fans deserve someone better to look up to. Someone like me. Someone who has never touched a drop of liquor or abused any medications. A man who has never served prison time. I am a true role-model that this company needs to embrace Alex. You are the black sheep of the family that we need to send away.
The Nitemare continues to speak whilst unseen. He pauses for a moment, but when he speaks again his disgust is replaced with an exasperated disappointment.
Damon: His partner although not as disgusting of a human being... is just as terrible a hero for fans to emulate. This is a man who couldn't muster enough force to overcome Billy Pepsi to represent Action Packed Wrestling. This is a man who lost a dark match to Mr. Dangerous. A man who's most exciting moment was being superkicked off of a War Games cage and landing in a worthless heap. Odin claims to be the All Father... but he is a false god who has let his followers down time and time again. Odin is an old dog who doesn't know that he is well beyond his prime..and in all truth his prime wasn't much to impress with either. This is a man I have heard described as "A flop in any major promotion he finds his way to".... and from what I've seen... I can't argue.
Damon emerges from his home in the darkness and when he does he has on a white tragedy mask that has become a haunting familiarity. This mask obscures all of the man's visible emotions with the exception of his eyes which blaze with an unstoppable determination.
Damon: Gentlemen I beg you.. bring your mass confusion.. bring about Ragnarok. I am asking you to do something that has yet to happen since I joined this company.... give me a challenge. You may have the size advantage over the two of us, but size cannot make up for a deficiency in skill.. which happens to be where dear Smitty and I more than excel. Smitty is one of the best in ring technicians the world has ever seen. I am a cerebral sadist. Vicious, but calculated. Again it cannot be ignored that the two people that you seem to think you can easily dismiss and forget about... are the current reigning world champion and his number one contender. We are the top ranked talent in this company. I overcame the Unlucky Thirteen on my own... think about what I'm capable of withstanding.. of decimating when I have Smith Jones by my side. Do you seriously believe that a drunk convict and a delusional boomer stand a chance against the greatest force this company has ever known? The Architects aren't part timers who show up when it conveniently fits..when it doesn't interfere with courts dates and house arrests.... or early bird specials... no. Unlike the two of you we are here every week. We are here backing up every word that leaves our mouths with pure dominance. We aren't giving empty promises.. we have brought about every prediction we have made. You may think you can withstand our onslaught, but I caution you.. we are deadly to the elderly and to those with compromised health... those with poisons in their body.
Damon walks close to the camera so that only his mask is visible.
Damon: The Architects are unavoidable. Our influence is spreading by the day. You might even say that we've gone viral... and Odin... Richards...
THERE'S NO CURE.
The feed cuts out with the last image being the eerie white mask with a tortured frown.
