Direct To Video Opponents
Mar 15, 2020 18:43:32 GMT -5
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BonnieBlue, Doc Henry, and 1 more like this
Post by Alex Richards on Mar 15, 2020 18:43:32 GMT -5
The steel door of the compound is busted down. They don't use explosives or even a battering ram. This is the work of the Enforcers. A double big boot was more then enough. Inside you see what looks like a macabre parody of Santa's workshop. The colour scheme is red and black. Instead of toys we have swords, machine guns, flamethrowers, a battle axe and other weapons of mass destruction. Next to the slay( get it?) are giant black goats. Alex and Odin approach what would normally be an imposing figure but that's lost due to the fact He's cowering.
Alex: You didn't think we were gonna come for you Krampus?
Krampus: It wasn't me! Whatever it is you think I did I swear it wasn't me!
Alex: You know exactly what you did! You set up Odin and I to go to war against each other for your amusement! It was the very first time we teamed up and you leaked the story about Odin fucking my girl in hopes we would destroy each other. But we didn't destroy each other. We came together as the Enforcers and destroyed an entire tag league round robin tournament. Four teams we ripped through including the impressive John Rabid and Roy Speede team in the finals. Just because you ultimately brought us closer as a team doesn't mean we don't know your intent. So this week it seemed fitting we do some team building.. By getting revenge by destroying you!
Alex looks over at his partner.
Alex: You have anything to add?
Odin nods and proceeds to powerbomb one of the giant goats. Not to be outdone Alex chokeslams two at the same time. Odib grabs another giving it a vicious backbreaker. Krampus is not pleased.
Krampus: Awww man you guys suck. Those goats are rentals.
Krampus grabs the nearest weapon a Samarai sword but before he can use it Odin and Alex both pick him up javelin style and hurl him against the wall. The wall cracks, his skull cracks. He doesn't even have a chance to get up as Alex and Odin are on him in a flash. They overwhelm him with the power fist 9000 combo pummeling him into the ground. They ain't done though. The Enforcers double high angle Spinebuster Krampus through his work table. Krampus is finished.
Alex: You know I expected more of a fight from Krampus.
Odin: That was just the direct to video Krampus. He's only a cheap knock off.
Alex looks at his partner.
Alex: Why didn't you say something earlier?
Odin shrugs.
Odin: We were bored... Had to beat up somebody.
Alex: Ah well Krampus: The Reckoning sucked dick anyways. He had it coming.
Odin: I figured it was appropriate anyways. We want to face the real challenges in this tournament The Architects and the Man Made Gods. Instead we are tasked with destroying the likes of Hixx and Blade and Red Wedding. A waste of our considerable talents if you ask me.
Odin Balfore then sits down on what must have been fake Krampus' throne.
Alex: I suppose you're right. We do seem to be facing a couple of direct to video level opponents this week. I mean I want to disagree but c'mon we're facing the girl power team. Not even a Spice Girls wannabe team because that would actually be an improvement. I'm supposed to take Red Wedding seriously but I just can't. Not just because they can't even rip off a Billy Idol song properly either. They are the type of girls who constantly bitch and moan about how hard it is to be respected as a women in professional wrestling. You know who doesn't do that? Actual bad ass lady wrestlers! I've faced the likes of Chelsea Armstrong, Noble Savage, Lissie Hope, and Bonnie Blue. You don't hear them whining and quite frankly they would probably rip your heads off for giving em a bad name. They won't need to worry though we'll do em a favor and rip your heads off for them. See we respect bad asses regardless of gender.. But neither of you can claim that title. By the way I beat every one of those beasts of wrestling so what chance could you possibly have? I love facing people who want to claim wrestling is about anything besides their actual talent. First because that means their talent is lacking. More importantly because that means the minute the bell rings they are already looking for a way out. They already have their excuse in hand. When things get too tough they are more then ready to tap out. You hear the Enforcers making excuses?
A grin crosses Alex's face.
Alex: Life is hard for me because I'm an alcoholic. Furthermore I always have to find boots to drink from. Maybe Odin is broke because God child support is massive. Hes been paying for Thor Balfore his whole life.. Also there's an imposter Thor always looking for a handout. Fuck that shit. The Enforcers are wrestling. Thats why we are multiple time world champions and you two pissants couldn't even be assed to do your research on us. Because Here's the thing.. The Enforcers we are a big fucking deal. You go on Twitter Danica and call us a couple of DC comic villian rip offs? Bitch please.. I don't even like comic books. As far as I'm concerned comic books might as well be a rip off of our real lives. We have way more exciting lives then the likes of Killshot. Tell em Odin!
Balfore remains silent.
Alex: Or not. But I know for a fact Odin killed a fuckton of ice giants. As for me among my highlights I fought a centaur, rode a space dragon, and fucking time travelled. If that's not enough I also squashed a bunch of albino killer tomatoes and recorded a song about Spencer Adams mom. The fuck did Red Wedding ever do? We're not only greater wrestlers.. way greater wrestlers, but we live greater lives then you too! I mean look at you.. Your name is Danica Kaine. That proves you do no research. Because no self respecting wrestler would EVER EVER want to be confused with Damian Kaine. Who you should know because he's actually been on APW tv.. But you don't. Although if we're being honest old DK won himself some television titles so he's doing considerably better then either of you. Which should be quite scary for you because I used to destroy Damian on a regular basis.
Alex: I got my doubts Red Riot is any better then her partner. For someone who is supposedly a member of this great wrestling family you clearly should have heard of Odin and myself. Shit the minute he came to APW LA Johnny Stylez was smart enough to dtop my name because he knew that would increase his credibility. That's how fucking good am I. Does anyone know you? Your own family isn't proud of your wrestling skills! Not that their judgement means much. How good are you guys? Your family named their training facility, The Dungeon, which is a blatant rip off of the famous Hart Family Dungeon. You're second rate Red and that might be being generous. That's why you rely so heavily on the promoting women in wrestling thing because the two of you aren't good enough or creative enough to come up with anything better. That's why you're teaming up with your girlfriend because nobody else would want to team with either of you! Maybe that's good enough in the bush leagues you came from but that's not good enough against the Enforcers. Odin and I were rivals who fought each other over the WCF world title for months. We became partners because quite frankly we are both masters of tag team wrestling. We can team with anyone and win the tag titles. Put us together and nobody's got a shot against these 700 pounds of destruction. We actually respect this business not just give it lip service like our opponents. We looked at the tag team title history and we saw only one team the Canadian Coalition. That's not good enough. Alpha deserves real legends as tag team champions. Right Odin?
No response.
Alex: Well I am right! Red Wedding think they are hot shit because they are undefeated here? Big deal! The Enforcers are undefeated everywhere! We have literally never lost as a team. I'd be impressed if they beat anyone of value but they haven't because they ain't beat the Enforcers and we are the only team that matters. We are the measuring stick of tag team wrestling and quite frankly neither of you are even close to measuring up. You aren't a real tag team. All you guys did was throw a bunch of cliches together and called it good. You ain't good! You are boring and forgettable! Which is exactly what's going to happen this week. You'll be just another victim of the Enforcers and nobody will remember you. You don't even deserve to be remembered.
Alex snorts.
Alex: I do have to admit I am impressed by Danica Kaine in one respect. She is a vampire detective huh? Hats off for ripping off both Kurt Navarro and Bonnie Blue at the same time. Bet you don't even know who the multiple time world champ or the top three finisher in the last WAR match are either. Yeah.. That's why this us gonna be so easy for us. We respect the history and thats what allows us to dominate the way we do. You piss on Wrestling's history and take shortcuts.
Alex looks at his partner in annoyance.
Alex: For fucks sake are you gonna say something?
Odin laughs
Odin: I'm a demi God in and outside of the ring. I'm feared everywhere I go. My actions speak for themselves. My 7 world titles speak for themselves.
Alex: Like they know you won 7 world titles. Or that I won a pair of world titles for that matter.
Odin: They will once the match begins. Then they will know they are facing world champions. I would also like to point out I recently pinned you.
Alex:Yeah? Well I pinned you twice!
Odin: I won a world title this year.
Alex: You did.. But what exactly is the point of this?
Odin: Creating fake dissension so people might think that Red Wedding actually has a chance.
Alex: Dude we're the Enforcers. Even blind people know they have no chance. Rebecca is gonna kill me for that line.
Odin shrugs.
Odin: Well.. I tried.
Alex: Red Wedding you don't know us yet but you will always remember the beating the Enforcers gave you. Everytime you think you're a good team you'll remember us.. And remember what an elite team REALLY is.
Odin: Lets go do something else. I woyld rather burn my own thick with this flame thrower then waste one more second talking about Red Wedding.
Alex: How about we use the flame thrower to burn this place down.. Just like we are gonna burn down Reds and Danica's dreams about being tag champions This week.
Odin: Less talking more burning.
Alex: I like how you think.
Alex: You didn't think we were gonna come for you Krampus?
Krampus: It wasn't me! Whatever it is you think I did I swear it wasn't me!
Alex: You know exactly what you did! You set up Odin and I to go to war against each other for your amusement! It was the very first time we teamed up and you leaked the story about Odin fucking my girl in hopes we would destroy each other. But we didn't destroy each other. We came together as the Enforcers and destroyed an entire tag league round robin tournament. Four teams we ripped through including the impressive John Rabid and Roy Speede team in the finals. Just because you ultimately brought us closer as a team doesn't mean we don't know your intent. So this week it seemed fitting we do some team building.. By getting revenge by destroying you!
Alex looks over at his partner.
Alex: You have anything to add?
Odin nods and proceeds to powerbomb one of the giant goats. Not to be outdone Alex chokeslams two at the same time. Odib grabs another giving it a vicious backbreaker. Krampus is not pleased.
Krampus: Awww man you guys suck. Those goats are rentals.
Krampus grabs the nearest weapon a Samarai sword but before he can use it Odin and Alex both pick him up javelin style and hurl him against the wall. The wall cracks, his skull cracks. He doesn't even have a chance to get up as Alex and Odin are on him in a flash. They overwhelm him with the power fist 9000 combo pummeling him into the ground. They ain't done though. The Enforcers double high angle Spinebuster Krampus through his work table. Krampus is finished.
Alex: You know I expected more of a fight from Krampus.
Odin: That was just the direct to video Krampus. He's only a cheap knock off.
Alex looks at his partner.
Alex: Why didn't you say something earlier?
Odin shrugs.
Odin: We were bored... Had to beat up somebody.
Alex: Ah well Krampus: The Reckoning sucked dick anyways. He had it coming.
Odin: I figured it was appropriate anyways. We want to face the real challenges in this tournament The Architects and the Man Made Gods. Instead we are tasked with destroying the likes of Hixx and Blade and Red Wedding. A waste of our considerable talents if you ask me.
Odin Balfore then sits down on what must have been fake Krampus' throne.
Alex: I suppose you're right. We do seem to be facing a couple of direct to video level opponents this week. I mean I want to disagree but c'mon we're facing the girl power team. Not even a Spice Girls wannabe team because that would actually be an improvement. I'm supposed to take Red Wedding seriously but I just can't. Not just because they can't even rip off a Billy Idol song properly either. They are the type of girls who constantly bitch and moan about how hard it is to be respected as a women in professional wrestling. You know who doesn't do that? Actual bad ass lady wrestlers! I've faced the likes of Chelsea Armstrong, Noble Savage, Lissie Hope, and Bonnie Blue. You don't hear them whining and quite frankly they would probably rip your heads off for giving em a bad name. They won't need to worry though we'll do em a favor and rip your heads off for them. See we respect bad asses regardless of gender.. But neither of you can claim that title. By the way I beat every one of those beasts of wrestling so what chance could you possibly have? I love facing people who want to claim wrestling is about anything besides their actual talent. First because that means their talent is lacking. More importantly because that means the minute the bell rings they are already looking for a way out. They already have their excuse in hand. When things get too tough they are more then ready to tap out. You hear the Enforcers making excuses?
A grin crosses Alex's face.
Alex: Life is hard for me because I'm an alcoholic. Furthermore I always have to find boots to drink from. Maybe Odin is broke because God child support is massive. Hes been paying for Thor Balfore his whole life.. Also there's an imposter Thor always looking for a handout. Fuck that shit. The Enforcers are wrestling. Thats why we are multiple time world champions and you two pissants couldn't even be assed to do your research on us. Because Here's the thing.. The Enforcers we are a big fucking deal. You go on Twitter Danica and call us a couple of DC comic villian rip offs? Bitch please.. I don't even like comic books. As far as I'm concerned comic books might as well be a rip off of our real lives. We have way more exciting lives then the likes of Killshot. Tell em Odin!
Balfore remains silent.
Alex: Or not. But I know for a fact Odin killed a fuckton of ice giants. As for me among my highlights I fought a centaur, rode a space dragon, and fucking time travelled. If that's not enough I also squashed a bunch of albino killer tomatoes and recorded a song about Spencer Adams mom. The fuck did Red Wedding ever do? We're not only greater wrestlers.. way greater wrestlers, but we live greater lives then you too! I mean look at you.. Your name is Danica Kaine. That proves you do no research. Because no self respecting wrestler would EVER EVER want to be confused with Damian Kaine. Who you should know because he's actually been on APW tv.. But you don't. Although if we're being honest old DK won himself some television titles so he's doing considerably better then either of you. Which should be quite scary for you because I used to destroy Damian on a regular basis.
Alex: I got my doubts Red Riot is any better then her partner. For someone who is supposedly a member of this great wrestling family you clearly should have heard of Odin and myself. Shit the minute he came to APW LA Johnny Stylez was smart enough to dtop my name because he knew that would increase his credibility. That's how fucking good am I. Does anyone know you? Your own family isn't proud of your wrestling skills! Not that their judgement means much. How good are you guys? Your family named their training facility, The Dungeon, which is a blatant rip off of the famous Hart Family Dungeon. You're second rate Red and that might be being generous. That's why you rely so heavily on the promoting women in wrestling thing because the two of you aren't good enough or creative enough to come up with anything better. That's why you're teaming up with your girlfriend because nobody else would want to team with either of you! Maybe that's good enough in the bush leagues you came from but that's not good enough against the Enforcers. Odin and I were rivals who fought each other over the WCF world title for months. We became partners because quite frankly we are both masters of tag team wrestling. We can team with anyone and win the tag titles. Put us together and nobody's got a shot against these 700 pounds of destruction. We actually respect this business not just give it lip service like our opponents. We looked at the tag team title history and we saw only one team the Canadian Coalition. That's not good enough. Alpha deserves real legends as tag team champions. Right Odin?
No response.
Alex: Well I am right! Red Wedding think they are hot shit because they are undefeated here? Big deal! The Enforcers are undefeated everywhere! We have literally never lost as a team. I'd be impressed if they beat anyone of value but they haven't because they ain't beat the Enforcers and we are the only team that matters. We are the measuring stick of tag team wrestling and quite frankly neither of you are even close to measuring up. You aren't a real tag team. All you guys did was throw a bunch of cliches together and called it good. You ain't good! You are boring and forgettable! Which is exactly what's going to happen this week. You'll be just another victim of the Enforcers and nobody will remember you. You don't even deserve to be remembered.
Alex snorts.
Alex: I do have to admit I am impressed by Danica Kaine in one respect. She is a vampire detective huh? Hats off for ripping off both Kurt Navarro and Bonnie Blue at the same time. Bet you don't even know who the multiple time world champ or the top three finisher in the last WAR match are either. Yeah.. That's why this us gonna be so easy for us. We respect the history and thats what allows us to dominate the way we do. You piss on Wrestling's history and take shortcuts.
Alex looks at his partner in annoyance.
Alex: For fucks sake are you gonna say something?
Odin laughs
Odin: I'm a demi God in and outside of the ring. I'm feared everywhere I go. My actions speak for themselves. My 7 world titles speak for themselves.
Alex: Like they know you won 7 world titles. Or that I won a pair of world titles for that matter.
Odin: They will once the match begins. Then they will know they are facing world champions. I would also like to point out I recently pinned you.
Alex:Yeah? Well I pinned you twice!
Odin: I won a world title this year.
Alex: You did.. But what exactly is the point of this?
Odin: Creating fake dissension so people might think that Red Wedding actually has a chance.
Alex: Dude we're the Enforcers. Even blind people know they have no chance. Rebecca is gonna kill me for that line.
Odin shrugs.
Odin: Well.. I tried.
Alex: Red Wedding you don't know us yet but you will always remember the beating the Enforcers gave you. Everytime you think you're a good team you'll remember us.. And remember what an elite team REALLY is.
Odin: Lets go do something else. I woyld rather burn my own thick with this flame thrower then waste one more second talking about Red Wedding.
Alex: How about we use the flame thrower to burn this place down.. Just like we are gonna burn down Reds and Danica's dreams about being tag champions This week.
Odin: Less talking more burning.
Alex: I like how you think.
