Post by Andre Aquarius on Mar 8, 2020 20:24:36 GMT -5
Part 1: Plottin’
Andre: Ayy, so uh...where you from?
Lil’ mama remainin’ real quiet like. She ain’t even facin’ me. Kinda sus, but it is what it is.
This bitch be smokin’, but she bein’ extra af wit’ it, got that shit held up wit’ this long ass ring like she French or somethin’. I think it’s non-filter too. What did I sign up for? This the first time I’m meetin’ her in person and I’m already convinced she a GOTDAMN serial killer. It makes my next question that much more awkward.
For prolly the first time ever, I was not. Still, I’m here to do the damn thing and pull out a fat fuckin’ dub.
Amirah: Palestinian.
Andre: You be diggin’ up dinosaur fossils? That’s chill.
Amirah: Are you confusing my nationality with an unrelated occupation?
Andre: That one’uh them fuckin’ vessel states then?
Amirah: You’re serious?
Andre: So, you ain’t Russian?
Amirah: Where do you think Russia is?
Andre: Norf.
She ain’t even turn for that conversation and just straight up stopped talkin’. I’d prolly be busy feelin’ some type’uh way ‘bout it bein’ some disrespectful ish if I wasn’t so fuckin’ confused by her whole vibe. I swear, she been smokin’ the same loosie for like a fuckin’ hour. Fuck, I been her an hour and it’s just been this. Most of it silence, because she ain’t done nothin’. She just smokin’ and starin’ at the concrete like it was a window or some shit. Part of that vibe though? Iss fuckin’ danger, bro. She ain’t showin’ no signs of pre-match nervousness or urgency. She just….ready. Maybe...communication ain’t mean a god damn thing.
I ain’t even...say that out loud. Fuckin’ Christ.
Part 2: International Women’s Day
Andre: Ya boy is honored for real. Week two for the biggest signin’ of AyyPDub’s young existence and I get to spend it sharin’ a ring wit’ three women at the same time. If you were to run up and ask a lot of muhfuckers who know me in passin’ or have had to face off against me inside that squared circle, they’d prolly try spinnin’ some shit ‘bout how Andre Aquarius ain’t got no respect for the opposite sex. I’ll tell ya right now that them same niggas are full of shit too. It’s prolly the biggest misconception ‘bout SickWaves. Honestly, I fuck wit’em more than most people. I hold’em in high regard and because of that, I hold this opportunity in high regard. To quote my dude Howard Ratner..
Andre: ‘Cause I seen’t wit’ my own two eyes what it is that I’m rockin’ wit’ this week. When I threw my name in the for this tournament, I went at it wit’ my dick in my fuckin’ hand and that’s to say that ya boy got that confidence. I didn’t single out Triple Ayyyy in particular or nothin’, but rather made the decision to go wit’ whoever came before me. That’s how sure I am in my ability to just absolutely murk niggas. It just so happened that the one that it ended up bein’ is a plottin’ ass bitch.
Amirah stay cool, calm, and collected. It’s the perfect compliment really. The power that I hold in my hands is that I’m able to make the tone and pace do a one eighty whenever I choose. As soon as they start thinkin’ that they’re lined up wit’ Prince Lightskin’s lightin’ pace, I get to pass that shit off to someone who finna bring it back down to Earth. That sort of back and forth ain’t somethin’ that just any ol’ fuckin’ scrub from the indie wrestlin’ waiver wires finna be able to come in and hold a candle to. Hell, they ain’t finna be able to light that shit in the first place and everyone knows you can’t see niggas in the dark.
Liberty or Def was just a taste’uh what is to be expected from The Yung GAWD in AyyPDub and what did I do? I controlled the pace of the whole fuckin’ thing. I went in there and started murkin’ niggas left and right. I got caught on some bullshit then, but now? It ain’t as simple as whippin’ my ass out over the top. If muhfucks lookin’ to advance past the five-A, they gon’ have to put me down definitively and as far as this week is concerned, this just my warmup, homie. Ain’t nothin’ comin’ my way that I ain’t seen and ain’t no Rob Zombie theme song strikin’ fear in my heart.
What I got is the tools to deal wit’ these women. Somethin’ that you end up learnin’ as you make ya way down the buffet line of dat sweet..SWEET wetness is that they fight the same way they fuck. If I know anything ‘bout edgy white girls, aside from the fact that they always finna let you do anal, it’s that they spend every wakin’ second of they god damn lives searchin’ for somethin’ that ain’t there. Whether that somethin’ is a father, BOGO deals in the back right corner of a Spencer’s Gifts, or the whereabouts of they ass and titties, they still just searchin’.
You still be searchin’ for ya own identity above all, somethin’ that makes you somethin’ greater and more viable in mainstream competition than the dozens of other tourists who be walkin’ ‘round wit’ the same rinse/repeat dark aura like it’s ever gon’ translate to somethin’ greater. Those people, the dark outliers of the locker room, they get solved and once they get solved, they ain’t nothin’ but a poorly aged image. I promise you, you will not find the ability you lookin’ for, the #OVUR that you and the other bottom ninety nine percent of the pro wrestlin’ populous so desperately lookin’ to gain.
As for ya boy, my shit ain’t so transparent. It ain’t somethin’ you get to scout out from the passenger seat of a car wit’ no issues. Blackamura is as authentic and unapologetically genuine as it gets. I been layin’ pipe like fine art since a youngin’, been throwin’ hands like issa charity. Ain’t no default mall goth wit’ a vamp fetish aesthetic finna come close to crackin’ the case on what it is that makes AA tick, what makes me so fuckin’ dangerous. I’m a dank as fuck athlete and a cultural innovator. There’s a big fuckin’ gap in the quality of character and ability and it runs right down to the DNA and Danica just ain’t got the right gene pool.
Speakin’ of gene pools though, how ‘bout the fact that you taggin’ up wit’ someone who was born into this. Red Riot, like so many privileged fucks before her, was given her entry into this bidness by a family who be proudly displayin’ blue line flags like it’s somethin’ cool, parents who verify their attendance of birthday parties through clickin’ a button in a Facebook event page. Red Riot, is the face of a brighter American Dream, one protected through a fairer lens than those of us who really be livin’ in the middle of what is real.
“Wait, Andre! She a fighter! She has a passion for this! Red Riot lives for this profession!” She’s a hard worker, alright. She gets up day in and day out and trains like her life depended on it, but it doesn’t, do it? If you strip back pro wrestlin’ from Red Riot’s life, her opportunity would be easy to find. If one thing ain’t pan out, somethin’ is always gon’ be there waitin’ to come through. Ya boy made this out of fuckin’ nothin. Bein’ told niggas is niggas and that’s all you’ll ever be and you know..those people were absolutely right.
I ain’t got a Karen and Steve lookin’ on at me cavin’ heads in while they get down on some Pinterest recipe crockpot appetizers wit’ a bunch of lil’ cousins and aunties hangin’ in the living room. Those people and those safety nets don’t exist for Andre Aquarius. You know bright eyes and perfect smiles, I know dead homies. America took one look at me and said you are a peasant, *******. It was ME that took that and said loud and proud I am King of all niggas, that I will be the villain they want me to be. That is my hard work. The fact that I’m here at all, means more and carries more of an advantage than any number of reps at Planet Fitness will ever fuckin’ grant you.
This tag shit be ‘bout seizin’ opportunity and nobody here can do that or knows what that’s means more than a ******* and an immigrant. We callin’ this shit Five-A like it’s a primal fuckin’ scream. You call ya’selves Red Wedding, because you actually pay for HBO. Y’all muhfucks gon’ come into this sayin’ this is what you were built for, but Five-A is here ‘cause we was forged in that fire of inequality and beat down by judgemental eyes and cultural ignorance. You will look at me and think that a debut loss in AyyPDub is somehow tarnishin’ my standard, but that shit just motivation. What you get the misfortune of meetin’ in the middle’uh that ring is a scrapper and a cold, calculated bitch. When this is all said and done, your union will be forced to fade to nothin’. Me and mines, this whole fuckin’ industry, EVERYTHING will just..
#FadeToLightskin
