Post by Smith Jones on Mar 8, 2020 13:59:43 GMT -5
~ OFF CAMERA ~
“Bury the missile!!!”
We see a wide shot of the Fox Point Hurricane Barrier in Providence, Rhode Island, but what we hear doesn’t seem to match what we are seeing. What we hear is the loud, obnoxious voice of a random drunkard yelling at the top of his lungs about nonsensical garbage. He slurs his words as he speaks. Wanna listen in?
“It’s a blur of booze, women, and sex! And the Oxford comma! Don’t let the Oxford comma drown a slow, painful death! Untrained pussy...”
“That’s about enough, tough guy!”
“Enough??!? This’s only the beginning! Y’know why they built dis barrier?? Storm’s a comin’, young man. This isn’t just a pretty picture. This is reality. Bad things happ'n ta good people. Y'wanna be ready? Y'gotta pay attention to the skies, kid! That’s my fatherly advice to you!”
“Dad, I...”
Just then, a completely inebriated Smith trips on his own feet and stumbles to one knee. A few hundred dollars' worth of poker chips come spilling out of his pockets.
“Where did you even get these?”
“You gotta be prepared!! Don't get caught off guard when the heavens come a-crumblin'! Mark my words, Copeland. The end is nigh. The world cannot sustain itself indefinitely the way we’ve been living it to death. This world is DOOMED. But, I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand ‘ere an’ watch someone else be the last man on earth to hold the Alpha World Champion-- chips. Chips? Chips! Help me pick up these poker chips, will ya?”
Cut to a closeup of Smith Jones as he runs to the iron fence and hurls over the side of the Fox Point Hurricane Barrier. Fresh vomit runs down the side of the angled cement. Copeland holds onto his father’s hair to keep him from falling over the edge.
“You’re a mess, dad.”
“What else is new?!?!!”
Smitty slumps down to a seated position, leaning against the fence, which we now notice resembles the three ropes of a wrestling ring. He stares at the fallen poker chips on the concrete. Copeland stands over him, looking down at the father he always wanted, wondering why he didn’t just leave well enough alone. He stares out across the open water as he speaks.
“Smitty. Meeting you has changed my life forever. I went from being a lost kid without a strong positive role model to being a lost young adult without a strong positive role model. Maybe I shouldn’t have met my hero after all. But, I’m set up to have a good job and travel the world, now. I didn’t have that before I met you. So… it’s been good overall.
But… I… thought it was time I told you the truth about who I really am.”
“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...”
Copeland looks down at Smith who is now fast asleep, propped up against that iron fence. Copeland’s chest is tight and he has stopped breathing altogether. He leans over and tries to revive Smitty.
“C’mon, Mister Jones. Let’s get moving.”
~ ~ ~
~ ON CAMERA ~
Fade up on a shot of the brand new faceplate on the front of the APW Championship. As the camera zooms out, we quickly see that it is, quite appropriately, locked safely around the waist of Smith Jones. He is dressed in a shiny white robe with sparkly silver trim over his all white ring gear. He is standing in front of a large APW logo. As Jones spins one time, we see that it has The New Era elegantly embroidered in silver across Smith’s shoulders. He spins slowly all the way around to look directly into the camera lens with that signature stone scowl.
“Warbird. You are the antithesis of everything I stand for. Every fibre of my being loathed you instantly the very first time I laid eyes on you. This will sound harsh, but I want you dead. I’ve wanted you dead for years before I ever laid eyes on you. You are what I hate about this world and I hope…
...dear heavens, I hope to heck that it’s you-- I’m going to make sure it is you that we paralyze with our dangerous new tag team finisher The End of an Era tomorrow night on Metal. This is a dangerous time for you to be crossing our path. After all these years, The New Era has returned. The lethal combination of Damon Warrens and Smith Jones is not something that anyone in the APW World Tag Team Title Tournament should be taking lightly.”
Smith moves off camera and quickly returns with two brand new Architects action figures now sold in a three pack! He smiles as he looks at the impressive craftsmanship and packaging.
“Being a member of The Architects is a polarizing experience for me.
On the one hand, you have the APW North American Champion Lex Collins who has been illustrating to me for years now how to be a better person in this world. He has shown me that I don’t have to pretend to be one of the normal people to do good in this world. I can do good in my own way and still be Smith Jones.
On the other hand, you have the Number One Contender for the Alpha World Championship Damon Warrens who reminds me of a darker time when I didn’t care so much about the rules. You think I push things to the point of controversy these days? You should’ve seen Smith Jones as a younger man back when The New Era was ruling the ring as a group, what, six years ago? Seven? We knew back then that we were the future of this game and looking back over the years… and looking ahead… it is SO CLEAR to see that we were and always will be right. We can do whatever we wanna do. We are at the top of the food chain once again.
And we are still quite hungry.”
Jones tosses the box aside and looks deep into camera again.
“And so, Warbird, as I contemplate my desire to leave you for dead in the ring, I’m really not sure how far I’m going to go. Should I remain within the rules of combat and decimate you by merit of my ring skill alone? Or should I take advantage of Damon distracting the referee so I can smash your eye socket wide open against the corner of the steel ring steps, splashing intraocular fluid into the front row? Damon Warrens is the devil on my shoulder who tells me it’s okay to stop being so beholden to the rulebook and just… let go.
Long have I believed that this planet would be better off if we removed those people from society who drag us down. The meaning of life has to be more than just getting blackout drunk, playing poker on the Vegas strip, and burying our manhood deep inside every dime store prostie we come across.
There are such noble people in this world. Trying to cure cancer. Trying to feed the starving. Trying to prolong the species.”
Jones steps in very close to the camera and glares angrily into your eyes.
“It was so frustrating watching the Canadian Coalition carry those belts around. I genuinely wanted to affiliate myself with them, being the proud Canadian competitor that I am. They turned out to be an embarrassment to the red and white. They let Canada down. They let the Tag Division down. They let ME down. They’ve been dead to me for a long time.
You wanna know who else let me down, Pact? You two. When you guys first signed on, I thought FINALLY. Finally a team that’s going to take the Tag Division to the heights it should get to. Thatdid not turn out to be the case. When you bother to show up, you seem to want to put in a good effort, but you don’t have any sort of consistency. Look, I get it. This is not an easy job. Seems so glamourous from afar. That’s how we want the fans to see it. But, you know as well as I do that this job is a grind. And how tempting is it to let the fame go to your head. Right Warbird? You let what little fame you’ve been able to amass go straight to your head. It’s a blur of booze, women, and sex for you. That’s what this is to you. That’s your takeaway from all this?! We don’t need dead weight deadbeats like Warbird bringing down humanity. So… this is my chance to drive change. WarSaw Pact. Warbird and Buzzsaw Bundy. Tomorrow night on APW Metal, The Architects of a New Era are coming to tear you down so that we can rebuild something much better in your place.
I want you dead, Warbird. Because we are ALL better off without you. Even Buzzsaw would be a better worker if he didn’t have to follow behind you mopping up your mess. Well, he’s only gonna have to mop you up one… last… time.”
Smith removes The World Title from around his waist and rests it on his shoulder.
“Damon Warrens is a dangerous man. He is a man I know I can trust to lace up and show up when it’s time to do work. And we will be moving on past WarSaw Pact on our way to the finals. There was a time not long ago when I thought chasing two titles was an intrinsically selfish act. I now find myself in a position where I can do something to augment those belts to where they mean something again. Yes, I am your Alpha Pro Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, but it is simply impossible to deny that Damon Warrens and Smith Jones are the two men in all of APW best suited to become your next APW World Tag Team Champions!! So… Warbird… When Warrens hits you between the eyes with a sniper shot of a running knee strike and you are sent falling backwards into my patented Backstabber to the neck, it is The End of an Era for WarSaw Pact. It’s the end of an era for the APW Tag Titles...”
Fade to black.
“... and it’s a NEW ERA for AP-Dub.”
