More Than A Feeling

"I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real"
-Hurt, Nine Inch Nails

The scene opens as the dark-clothed Patrick Kay Anthony finishes writing the new quote of the week up on his whiteboard.

PKA: "'PKA' doesn't stand for Pain Kicks Ass, but it might as well, because I love this shit."

He slowly turns and sits in his lounge chair. It's obvious that he's in a bit of pain with how slow he sits down.

PKA: "I'm not gonna lie; I'm in a lot of pain. My back is killing me. My knees are on fire. My neck is in a constant state of needing to be popped but it won't. You know that feeling? The feeling of.. if I could just crack my neck real fast everything would be so much better? Yeah, it's annoying. That's what I'm dealing with now ever since Monday Night Metal. Myself and El Muertos went out there and I'd like to say we were a damn good tag team for our first go at it and for the fact that it'd been my first match in two years. Alex Scott and Flop put up a fight, but it wasn't enough. And in the end, just like promised, they got flipped off by the both of us, dropped on their heads, and the one, two, three count. But Jesus Christ, your ol' pal Peeks is sore today, and yesterday, and probably for the next few days. That's okay, though, cause god dammit, I love this shit."

Fond thoughts of his APW debut and return to wrestling on Monday Night Metal fill PKA's head and he smiles.

PKA: "The pain isn't the only thing that's real. It's the love, man. I love the fans, too. Thank you for the warm welcome back. Your chants of 'you still got it' meant a lot to me. It's your passion and your cheers that keep me going. Thank you. "

"El Muertos, thank you. Thank you for trusting me in that ring and thank you for working with me, knowing that I might be a risky partner. Turns out we work great together. Perhaps we're just that perfect for each other? I know it's not cause our opponents sucked, because they didn't. I took some hard hits and I know you did too thanks to those guys. So thanks to them as well, because without you guys, I'd just be playing with myself, and nobody wants to see that. Well, some might. Which is cool, as a side gig, if I need to.. I'm just saying."

He rolls his eyes and smirks.

PKA: "But this is no time for jokes. It's time to rebuild my empire, one spec of dust, one piece of dirt and mud, one brick by boring brick, one broken bone at a time, blood, sweat, and tears... all of what it takes to reconstruct and reimagine the Ultraviolent Perfectionist of years past.. I know it won't be easy, but life isn't easy, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

He points ahead, and the camera pans over to show PKA's flatscreen television with a Netflix preview of Liberty or Death on it.

PKA: "It's time for Alpha Pro Wrestling's Liberty or Death Pay Per View extravaganza, exclusively on Netflix this Monday night, where we'll be LIVE from the historic TD Garden in Bawwwston, Mass in front of a capacity crowd."

The camera pans back to PKA who now sits back in his chair. He puts his arms out with excitement.

PKA: "Beantown! Home of legendary rock station WAAF, where I was supposed to have an interview this week. Turns out the company sold the station to Jesus, and they are going in a different direction with things. So no interview for me. Oh well... We can find other things to do in Boston, right? I'll travel around and check out Fenway Park, or go check out the famous bar from Cheers? Perhaps I'll go visit one of the homes of famous radio personality John Garabedian and find out how his new online radio gig is going since leaving Open House Party in 2016. I could try some famous baked beans and eliminate everyone in this Battle Royal with some nasty smells. That's right, your Wrestler of the Week..."

He winks at the camera.

PKA: "..Will find himself in the MAIN EVENT of the EVENING in a fourteen man Battle Royal with the number one contendership to the APW World Heavyweight Championship on the line. That's right. I went from a random tag team booking that ended up being Match of the Week to a giant cluster F of a battle royal where the prize is a shot at the TOP prize in the company. That's truly exciting, and quite intriguing. I'm happy to see my partner, El Muertos, also in this match. I'm happy to see Alex Scott in there too. Hopefully he's reeeeeeeeeal fired up and wants to put a hurtin' on this newcomer for putting the boots to him last week, and hopefully he'll get a little carried away and find himself face down at ringside because of it.

Now, trust me, I'm not letting this Wrestler and Match of the Week stuff get to my head. I knowwww that's not why I'm in this match. I'm sure it's just luck of the draw, cause as I look at the list of names in this match, I see a lot of newcomers. We're all just so damn lucky, and management has given us this opportunity equally to showcase our talents and go from nobodies to somebodies real quickfast. Guys like Marko Rask, Trillion Dollah Marko! This kid is way better than me and all of you, and he's got the memes to prove it. He's also extremely generous because for God's sake, the kid gives away money before he murders you! And to top it all off, after he beats your ass, you get to listen to a sick new Eminem banger. My goodness, the Trillionaire is my pick to win it all!"

A big thumbs up from PKA!

PKA: "But let us not forget the Brazilian heart throb himself, Jaice Wilds. Mama Mia! This kid has been in more wrestling organizations than most will ever be in their lifetime. Which tells me something.. He can't hold a steady gig. Homie, it's not hard to just show up on time, do your job, smile and collect a paycheck. I really can't stand people who call in for their shifts constantly. Your ass was scheduled and maybe you should stop pretending to be sick and suck it up and show up. Oh, ya got wrote up cause you called in too much? Oh, you no-showed and now you're fired? Well guess it's time to find another job! But that's just his thing. He's so damn good that keeping a job isn't a big deal to him because he knows he can lie his way into a new job and it'll be easy for him. So damn, this Jaice Wilds kid might be the one to win it all. It'll be too easy not to!"

Another sarcastic thumbs up!

PKA: "Though, there's this Eilichhhh fella. He's a real piece of trash. That scum left his poor mother behind in Finland to come join his grandfather's dojo. What a jerk. What was wrong with having a talk show? I'm sure Finnish radio is REAL exciting! Your mother must have been SO proud of you! Now what is she? Dead? Do you even know? Have you even called your mother? Oh, but she's there with your father. Even better. He probably takes real good care of her. I'm sure they tried to have many more babies to replace their son that abandoned them for a carny lifestyle. At least it was a slight step up from Finnish radio broadcasting, but still. Eyelick did all of those horrible things, so who knows what he's capable in a ring. He'll probably murder us all and win the whole damn battle royal!"

He cups his mouth in shock for a moment.

PKA: "Aaron Osmosis, the 'Social Nightmare', from the hot hot hot Tempe, Arizona. This man is three years younger than me and has apparently won fourteen world championships in his lifetime. Jesus, man. Congratulations on that, but maybe you should rethink this whole match. Think about your kids, and your wifey. Think about how you've done so much, but you're in the ring with some real talent, like myself of course. Imagine it's 2011 again, and you're at the dope-ass Pepsi Promo event, k? Imagine you've met the woman of your dreams, k? But then imagine a forklift dropping 13 cans of Pepsi on your head - that's right - a Baker's Dozen of Pepsi 20 ounce cans, full of that refreshing cola, right on your noggin. Boy, what a way to spoil a nice moment. Think of this as your nice moment, and think of myself and the other twelve wrestler cans of cola that are coming your way. Just don't show up. Don't bother. Have a Pepsi, go bang your hot wife and come back next week."

PKA thinks of the others...

PKA: "Arrow Zane. He's a goat. Old man is an Old Fuck. Gunner, poor Gunner. His family hates him and he hates himself. What's so bad about being addicted to hard drugs that would ruin your life? So what if you alienate yourself from everyone you love and everyone who loves you. They're all fakes anyway. They can't hang. You should probably keep your dealer's number on speed dial if you think the best version of yourself is anywhere here in APW. I signed up a week before you, pal. The former-drug addict who lost it all and lost his best friend and is extremely depressed and trying to redeem himself-gimmick is already taken. It's mine. Back off. I also do a better Superkick than you do. Get out of here. You belong over the top rope and on the floor, clawing in search of a lost crack rock. Next."

Sniff.

PKA: "Cray Mitchell, the Guru of Glee. This dude has some sick moves. I appreciate your ability to use song and dance in your wrestling style, I truly do. And your entrance theme choice is ace. I love it. It's like.. "Cray is a Dummy Dummy, Dummy Dummy, Dummy Dummy.. Cray Mitchell is a Dummy.." okay you get it... Just kidding, anyway. By the way, I do a better Superkick than you do too. Exit stage left. If you think you've got a chance of walking out the winner and number one contender, you cray, Cray.."

He snaps in a Z formation. Really. He then changes his sarcastic attitude a bit into a more serious one.

PKA: "One of the real threats in this match might be Damon Warrens, the Nitemare King. He's not afraid of doing whatever it takes to win, and I can admire that in a wrestler. But Damon, are you as hungry as I am? Are you fueled by two years of abstinence? Two years of holding it all in? I need release, Damon. I am ready to give full release right here in Alpha Pro Wrestling, and do you think you can handle that? Huh? Do ya? Oh, am I supposed to be scared? I'm addressing FEAR ITSELF for goodness sakes. Nah.. I don't fear ya. I don't have a reason to. Please, please give me a reason to fear you. I need to feel that in my bones. I need to tremble. I want you to make me so afraid that I take another two year hiatus. I want you so badly to strike fear into my soul and show me how F'n Psycho you truly are. Just thinking about it has me all tingly inside. You might just win this one if you can accomplish any of that. But ya won't. Cause ya can't. Cause I'm in the match. Easy enough. And for the record, I'd love to tangle some barbedwire around your pretty little face sometime. Let's reschedule this date of ours to a time when we can be all alone. Oh, and one more thing... I don't necessarily mind if someone else ends up on top at the end of the night."

He winks. It's hard for PKA to keep things serious, even when they have to be.

PKA: "It can't always be that easy, though. It can't be as easy as John Blade thinks it's going to be, that's for sure. He thinks we're just going to let him win? Sir, at Liberty or Death, you'll be taking the latter when you commit career suicide by even trying to win this battle royal. Best of luck...champ?

Speaking of champs, or should I say former.. the former Junior Heavyweight Champion, Alex Scott, someone who idolized me growing up, and after last week, he didn't like the cut of my jib apparently. I'm sorry you couldn't handle El Muertos and I in that ring. But don't take it the wrong way, man. It's not personal, it's just business. I'll gladly sign your 8x10s and pose for a picture. Honestly, I think you are a true talent in this company and can offer a lot. It's no wonder that you're a former Junior champion, and you will be one again some day. I want to thank you again for sharing the ring with me and helping me find my way once again in this world of professional wrestling. Sadly, though, we're once again opponents, and once again I'm going to have to do whatever it takes to come out on the winning side of things. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this. But I damn sure wasn't given any of it either. Know this - I'll work my ass off, and you can doubt me all you want, but I'm true to myself and I'm not going to stop until I reach the top, even if it means eliminating you."

He shrugs and waves at his former fan, Alex Scott.

PKA: "Muertos, I'm leaving you out of this, cause I respect you, and I know we'll figure all of this out when the time comes. But uh.. Who have I missed? Uhhh.. Oh.. bah gawd, how could I nearly forget about the YUNG GAWD. Prince Lightskin, you cute and all, but are you as hard as you say you are? So what ya got a few tattoos. Oooh, ouch. That must have hurt. You know what hurts? Having your flesh torn by barbed wire... having your skin pierced by broken shards of glass.. losing your best friend from an overdose just one year ago.. Yeah... that shit hurts. Am I supposed to be impressed by your hip hashtag moveset and all black everything? Your moveset is basic, your gear is basic, and your whole persona is basic. You aren't as original as you think you are, and you're nowhere near as good as you think you are. I know a guy named Taurus Capone that would wipe the floor with you if he saw what you were doing. It makes me sick. YA BOI ain't got a chance walkin' out of the battle royal as number one contender, because 'The Whole Fuckin' Bidness' is sharing the ring with guys like "Grade A" PKA and El Muertos, two bad asses who will show you and the other eleven APW wrestlers that this is no cake walk, no party, no easy road to travel. You mad, bro? Me too, mad that I have to wake up every morning. Mad that I have to see the sunlight every single day. But guess what? I do it. I'm still breathing. I'm still here. So while I'm here, best believe that you're looking at the next number one contender to the APW World Heavyweight Championship. So forget all of that stuff I said before about those other guys winning it all. I lied."

He stands up from the chair, favoring his lower back a bit.

PKA: "And it doesn't matter how battered and beaten I am after this match. It doesn't bother me what body part aches, what bone burns, what muscle needs time to heal, cause I'm back full force and ready to go here in Alpha Pro Wrestling. Smith Jones, I'm coming for you. But first, those thirteen wrestlers better be ready. Much like Boston once said - this is more than a feeling, it's reality. Cause I'm P..K..A.. with No Fear.. No Limits.. Just Pain..."

Fade. To. Black.