Post by Breezy on Feb 1, 2020 14:58:09 GMT -5
Eli Beazley can be seen standing in front of an APW camera as our screens come to life. Eli is pretty average height and weight. He has curly blonde hair and a 'million dollar' smile that lights up any room he is in. Eli has that awkward moment so many have where he is not sure if the camera is recording or not. He gets a thumbs up from the camera man and finally starts talking.
Eli Beazley: "Alpha Pro Wrestling... Lets' make this official! My name is Eli Beazley and I am running for president of the United States...I mean I am officially a part of this roster and booked in my very first match. That match will take place on at Metal on Monday Night."
"APW... I am psyched for this. I have worked for a long, long time to get here. And before I talk about my opponents for this week I thought we should get a little more aquainted. So allow me to introduce myself by answering some of the most important questions life has to give... Ready?"
Eli pauses briefly.
Eli: "Favorite food? Cereal. Favorite movie? Die Hard 2. Favorite Band? Queen. Favorite TV Show? Parks and Rec and The Bachelor. It's a tie. Favorite State: New Hampshire. Favorite Book: Harry Potter. Favorite fast food? Wendy's. Biggest Fear? Sponges. Favorite Sex Position? All of them. Biggest Accomplishment: Having perfect hair. Girlfriend: No. Celebrity Crush? Kristen Bell and Brad Pitt. Political Affiliation? Bernie. Political Crush? RBG! Ruth Bader Ginsberg! Her judicialyness revs my engine!"
Eli laughs as he takes a few seconds to catch his breath.
Eli: "See... Now we know each other. Now it feels natural to get into this huge match on Monday night. So let's just jump into it.
The wall behind him illuminates green screen style with a picture of Salvatore Marino. Eli glances over his shoulders to see a picture of the big man standing there. Eli shakes his head and smiles.
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Eli: "Salvatore, Salvatore, Salvatore... You big beautiful bastard! I have to admit that I am a fan. Not only did you absolutely destroy it in the Steel Cage at 2020 Ways to Die but one of your nicknames is Pablo Thiccaso. How could you not be into that? I love you, my man, I really do! And after our huge win on Sunday, I believe that you are headed for great places in APW. But..."
Eli laughs as he smiles a genuine smile.
Eli: "With all of that said, this Monday night will be a speedbump for the Main Course. Monday night is about me. Monday night will be the coming-out party for Breezy Eli Beazley. Dawg, you got talent out the wazoo. You are a formidable opponent. And Salvatore, it's going to be an honor to kick your ass. But like I said, Monday night is about me. I am going to climb in that ring and do what I do best. Win. Plain and simple. This is my chance to show what I am capable of. So no hard feelings! This is strictly business. For this night only I will put away my Salvatore Marino Fan Club Membership Pin, and I put on my ass-kicking medallion and I go to war."
Eli pauses as the image fades from Salvatore to a shot of the other new guy in this match. Trey Bouchet. Eli laughs.
Eli Beazley: I was going to make some corny joke about Bobby Bouchet. I am sure that you have heard it a million times. But ol' Floppy beat me to it so I will save you from hearing it again!
Eli shifts his stance and he looks down. In a moment of ADHD he says 'Smudge?' and then drops down to inspect his shoes. The camera pans down and if you were expecting to see a pair of Jordan's or Kobe's you would be mistaken. He is dawning a fresh pair of old man' New Balance sneeks. Complete with the velcro strap.
Eli: "Good, it was just a shadow. Anyways back to you, Trey. You are the other unknown in this match. Much life myself, these people don't know you. I for one, think it could be an advantage. No one knows what to expect from us. They don't know our style in the ring. They don't know what to expect. If you are like me, you are looking to make a name for yourself and this match is a good way to do it. If you come in and beat Flop or Salvatore... you instantly catapult yourself into the discussion as a legitimate star in this company. A win here would put Trey Bouchet on the map."
"The problem is that everything I just said also applies to me. This is my opportunity to become a legit star. This is my chance to introduce myself to the world. On Monday night, we're gonna be on Netflix baby! I have worked way too long and way too hard to let this opportunity squeak by. So Trey, I may not know a lot about you. I may not fully know what to expect when you and I lock up in the middle of the APW ring. But it doesn't matter. Because this Monday night I know me. I know what I am capable of. I know that name on everyone's lips on Tuesday will not ve the very catchy, very smooth sounding Trey Bouchet. Instead, it will be "BREEZY" Eli Beazley. Which is equally smooth and satisfying to say!"
The wall behind Eli transitions from a shot of Trey Bouchet to a shot of the man known only as Flop. Eli nods as he looks up at the cameras:
Eli: "Flop... Mr. Flop? Floppy? Flop just reminds me of a belly roll coming out of a big girls t-shirt kind of situation."
Eli laughs.
Eli: "No offense to the big girls. Eli Beazley fancies a big girl every now and then. But back to you Flopster. Brother, I know that on Metal you are the biggest obstacle I have to overcome. I've done my homework. Momma didn't raise a fool. I graduated with a 2.5 GPA thank you very much! Dude, I know what to expect when I look across the ring and you're standing there. I know that I can expect... the unexpected. You're a wild freakin' animal."
"But fortunately I have always been obsessed with wild animals my entire life. I love Steve Irwin, Jeff Corwin and Brian Barczyk. I grew up on that shit! If those hours and hours of Animal Planet watching taught me anything it is that even the wildest of animals can be handled with ease by a trained professional.
"Unfortunately for you. I'm the Steve 'Mother Effin' Irwin of wrestling! You see, Steve was always calm, cool and collected. It didn't matter what crossed his path. He stayed in the moment and took what the animal gave him. Bro, I've seen that dude get the best of a 16-foot croc'."
"Now the strategy might be a little different with you Flop. I'm not going to jump on your back and wrap your snout shut with electrical tape. But I am going to watch you in that ring. I'm going to take whatever you decide to do and handle it with a cool, calm... Breezy mind! You're not going to get inside my head. You're not going to get me worked up. You're not going to see me get overly aggressive. I'm going to watch and wait. When I see my moment... well I will pounce and take control. And like any good animal handler... Once Eli Beazley gets control. You don't get it back."
Eli looks at the camera for a final time with a proud smile on his face. He did it. His first official promo. Our little boy is growing up!
Eli: "Boys, I am looking forward to stepping in that ring on Monday night. I'll catch you then. Breezy out!"
Eli flashes a peace sign and a smirk as the screen fades to black
