Post by Addy A on Jan 28, 2020 23:52:39 GMT -5
[Flop is sitting in suit. He has an umbrella.]
Last week I was given drugs by грязные коммунистические язычники. But they have worn off and I am much better now. I even have a goat and my goat's name is Derrik. Derek is a good goat. But I had to leave Derryk in the field to some grass. I didn't want Derryk to eat my new suit or my shiny shoes or even my classic umbrella.
[Flops opens and twirls the umbrella.]
Last week I told Jason Ryan who is or was a new guy with a big move that I would see him leave in a bodybag. I came to the ring in a Bodybag. Sorta like I was having anal sex with his mother. Who am I know Zombie McMorris? Now, his mother is dead - God rest her soul. Poor woman. But I am not here to talk about Zombie McMorris or Jason Ryan. I am here to talk about the four corners match on Clash.
My opponents - Salvatore Marino, Trey Bouchet and Breezy Eli Beazley.
BOOM! CHICKA! WOW! WOW!
I like my umbrella.
I like my goat.
I like my shiny new shoes.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY SEXY SUIT!
My opponents - no I do not love them no no no no no.
I must beat them, not like I beat my penis. I must beat them with sticks and bones and break their bones. I won't use whips and chains - because whips and chains excite me. They excite me so much they whips and chains would force me to beat my penis - but not in the way that I would beat me my opponents. Ya know what I mean?
Where was I before I got all excited about Irina Ivanova chaining me to the bedpost and whipping like I am a red headed step child. You should look it up on Pornhub - step-family porn is all the rage now. But me I am old school l like lesbian porn with a little bit of strap on action. Just excites me. Oh, sorry there I go getting all distracted again. I should be concentrating on my three opponents but so hard when I think about sex bay-bee. Just you and me. No, sorry. It can't just me you and me. There would arms and legs going everywhere with four of us. It reminds me of that stage in my life where I used to watch hentai tentacle porn. That was like crazy insane sort of stuff. Like whoa! Mind-blowing! There I go again all distracted.
[Flop starts smacking himself around his ears.]
STOP FLOP!
BAD FLOP!
TALKING ABOUT YOUR OPPONENTS FLOP!
[Flop stops hitting himself.]
Big Sal right. You like right. Oh no, you don't like that do you. What did you say only your mother and your landlord can call you that. Well I'm going to park myself right in your ass and you can call me your landlord. Or I can put on a wig and you can call me Mother and we can roleplay. Whatever floats your boat. Either when we get into the ring someone is getting up. Possibly to the point of erection. NO! BAD FLOP! Actually, let's be honest here - you, me and the other two cocksuckers in the ring. We gonna get mad violent. At least I am - I'm going to carve my name into your forehead if the world let's me. Which they probably won't - but that's ok because I am still going to madman in that ring, outside that ring.
GOT THAT, SAL!
You're gorgeous... For NOW!
[Flop grins awkwardly.]
Breezy Eli Beazley. Hi. Are you breezy because you're easy? Don't know - it's a genuine question feel free to answer if you want or don't. I will find out on Metal. Because Monday is Metal. And Flop likes to find bits of metal and sharpen them into makeshift knifes and implements of torture. I normally use them on rats and roadkill because ya know a vagrant gotta eat right, but on Metal I will make an exception for you. NO! Sorry, Eli, I don't know what came over me then. I don't want to eat you or any part of you. That would be disgusting and wrong. But when we wrestle. I will be violent. I will be INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE. No not stoned on weed, just a little bit crazy to take myself to the limit to ensure that I win and that means beating you.
EASY BREEZY!
Betcha you're Mother would like what I did there.
[Flop cackles like a hyena.]
TREY BOUCHET! Are you related to the guy Bobby Bouchet? You know, the guy what Adam Sandler made a movie about and called it The Waterboy. That was an awesome movie. Maybe they will make they will make a movie about me one day and call it a dickumentary. I would call GET THE FLOP OUT OF HERE! That would be cool wouldn't Bobby's brother Trey. I would even let you star in my dickumentary. Not like your brother, Bobby who didn't even let you hang out with him in the movie. So sad. I don't like you being sad. I will cradle you in the ring and then I will PILEDRIVE YOUR HEAD INTO THE FUCKING GROUND!! Sorry sorry sorry I didn't want to sound mean or be mean like you brother Bobby. But this is wrestling and in the end the object it to win right and the piledriver is a good move. But I will make it up to you by letting you have an autographed copy of my dickumentary. YES I WILL!
NOW GET MY WATER, BOY!
[Flop giggles like a princess]
I'm going home to my goat.
