Post by zionsimmons on Jan 5, 2020 22:08:28 GMT -5
"It's real simple, isn't it? Alpha Pro Wrestling has been bleeding out for longer than before I graced their ring and it's because their lack of memorable talent. Give me one name of a home grown talent who isn't as much of a bore as Smith Jones?"
Zion Simmons is sitting at his desk recording himself with his godlike camera.
"No go ahead, I'll wait…"
Zion taps his desk a few seconds before he jumps back in.
"Exactly and it is through all of that lackluster ineptitude that yours truly was made out to be the refreshing face that this company needed… But the powers that be couldn't trust a power hungry Jew, so they kept the title on Smith's shoulder until the flake, Wolf did what i already claimed he was going to do… He beat Smith Jones like the little nobody that he is… Oh but what did he end up doing for the company???"
Zion points a thumb over his shoulder.
"He got the hell outta dodge and left us all scrambling, grasping at any thing that he has done that is actually relevant… It's the same thing that we would've done if it was Smith Jones who turned tail and walked away. Wolf is gone and there’s not even a hole he’s left that needs truly filled… I mean Smith slid back into the spot that the company has made comfy for him, which makes most of us sick… What did they do next though? They outsourced fall guys from other companies? They play up a legend who just won’t die, but has his hands in every little thing he possibly can, in our company and within AW… He won’t let his light go out, so I gotta respect him for that, but damn, enough is enough already. I don’t give two shits about ZMac or Raging Dead… I actually created an app that literally predicts the winner of the rumble by comparing algorithms and THEE NUMBERS. The odds play a part every time and in the app you can read that shit loud and clear."
Zion taps away on his computer and turns the tablet screen toward the godlike camera. Numbers and symbols run across the screen in a very Matrix-esque fashion before the app readings appear.
The Rumble APP:
*Ashley Derringer - Loser, Full of opinions only popular to himself...
*“The Immortal American” Zombie McMorris - Loser, full of himself and is begging for someone to finally send him on his way. Suffers from it's all about ME syndrome… Ugh tiresome.
*Flop - Loser, A village is missing their idiot… His name says it all, on how he will fair.
*Diakos - Loser, Okey Dokey, what is he some chiseled out of stone god? Looks will be deceiving indeed...
*“The Ghost” Voshon Jackson - Loser, as black as night and as bland as vanilla… Nothing original here and he'll be disposed of quickly.
*TROLL - Loser, Need I say more? Probably just one of many keyboard warriors who work for Zion.
*Giovanni “Big Nasty” Salbrini - Loser, copy and paste boring approach as The Ghost… NEXT!
*“The DotCom Mogul” Zion Simmons - Winner, overlooked when HIS TIME WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN OUT FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE. Time to right this damn ship.
*Jaice Wilds - Loser, He’s better off calling in Abbi Stein to wrestle for him, but at least he can proudly say he's not banned anymore.
*Jobber Dave - Winner, COME ON, WE’RE NOT THAT STUPID, ARE WE?
*Alex Scott - Loser, Doesn’t matter how many companies you wrestle for, you’re still not going to get the opportunity you’re begging for...
*Road Dawg - Loser, Can't even spell dog right...
*Ultimate Destroyer - Loser, Ultimate waste of a rumble entry...
*“The Super-Sexy Boogeyman Slayer” Steven Osbourne - Loser, top pick if this was a who would have sex with a greased up fugly hillbilly competition… Too bad this rumble isn't be shot by the brilliant mind of Thaddeus Franklin King.
*Noble Savage - Loser, GO BACK UNDER THE ROCK WHERE YOU’VE FOUND SOLACE, NOBODY HAS MISSED YOU!
*John Blade - Loser, originality is in fact dead...
*The Raging Dead - Loser, Speaking of dead… GO BACK TO ACTION WRESTLING, you undead FUCK! You get crippled in a cruiserweight division and you think you could have another go of it in APW… For fucking shame, man.
“Jazzy” John McCarty - Loser, go play a damn jazz flute, you aqua lung. You circled around that top tier and did jack diddly when Zion Simmons was next to yours.
*Frank Patrick Venable - Loser, GO BACK TO ACTION WRESTLING, you GOLD DIGGING WHORE! )4Lex Collins - Loser, this architect couldn't save Trinity from being self destructed and he will fail at rebuilding his at the expense of APW's faithful.
*Lazer Blazer - Loser, as much a bleeding heart for the people as Jobber Dave, but at least Jobber Dave has surpassed that underdog Jobber story… You couldn't even make a dark side angle get over.
*"The Provocateur" Arthur Pleasant - Loser, firstly… Has anyone even missed this guy? Might as well stayed gone because the only thing that is waiting for you is further disappointment, Arty.
*Any other schmuck - Surprise ass holes, super fun and cowardice… How nice? Losers, the whole lot of em.
"There you have it folks, the proof is there and come that rumble, you will all witness Zion Simmons showing how cunning he truly is. I am top tier in APW and it's about time i take my rightful spot back!"
Zion clinches a fist at the camera.
"It was written and it shall all come to the light at the rumble… And remember this whole thing is business, I'm just way better at it than you."
Zion winks at the godlike camera making it fade to black.
Zion Simmons is sitting at his desk recording himself with his godlike camera.
"No go ahead, I'll wait…"
Zion taps his desk a few seconds before he jumps back in.
"Exactly and it is through all of that lackluster ineptitude that yours truly was made out to be the refreshing face that this company needed… But the powers that be couldn't trust a power hungry Jew, so they kept the title on Smith's shoulder until the flake, Wolf did what i already claimed he was going to do… He beat Smith Jones like the little nobody that he is… Oh but what did he end up doing for the company???"
Zion points a thumb over his shoulder.
"He got the hell outta dodge and left us all scrambling, grasping at any thing that he has done that is actually relevant… It's the same thing that we would've done if it was Smith Jones who turned tail and walked away. Wolf is gone and there’s not even a hole he’s left that needs truly filled… I mean Smith slid back into the spot that the company has made comfy for him, which makes most of us sick… What did they do next though? They outsourced fall guys from other companies? They play up a legend who just won’t die, but has his hands in every little thing he possibly can, in our company and within AW… He won’t let his light go out, so I gotta respect him for that, but damn, enough is enough already. I don’t give two shits about ZMac or Raging Dead… I actually created an app that literally predicts the winner of the rumble by comparing algorithms and THEE NUMBERS. The odds play a part every time and in the app you can read that shit loud and clear."
Zion taps away on his computer and turns the tablet screen toward the godlike camera. Numbers and symbols run across the screen in a very Matrix-esque fashion before the app readings appear.
The Rumble APP:
*Ashley Derringer - Loser, Full of opinions only popular to himself...
*“The Immortal American” Zombie McMorris - Loser, full of himself and is begging for someone to finally send him on his way. Suffers from it's all about ME syndrome… Ugh tiresome.
*Flop - Loser, A village is missing their idiot… His name says it all, on how he will fair.
*Diakos - Loser, Okey Dokey, what is he some chiseled out of stone god? Looks will be deceiving indeed...
*“The Ghost” Voshon Jackson - Loser, as black as night and as bland as vanilla… Nothing original here and he'll be disposed of quickly.
*TROLL - Loser, Need I say more? Probably just one of many keyboard warriors who work for Zion.
*Giovanni “Big Nasty” Salbrini - Loser, copy and paste boring approach as The Ghost… NEXT!
*“The DotCom Mogul” Zion Simmons - Winner, overlooked when HIS TIME WAS CLEARLY WRITTEN OUT FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE. Time to right this damn ship.
*Jaice Wilds - Loser, He’s better off calling in Abbi Stein to wrestle for him, but at least he can proudly say he's not banned anymore.
*Jobber Dave - Winner, COME ON, WE’RE NOT THAT STUPID, ARE WE?
*Alex Scott - Loser, Doesn’t matter how many companies you wrestle for, you’re still not going to get the opportunity you’re begging for...
*Road Dawg - Loser, Can't even spell dog right...
*Ultimate Destroyer - Loser, Ultimate waste of a rumble entry...
*“The Super-Sexy Boogeyman Slayer” Steven Osbourne - Loser, top pick if this was a who would have sex with a greased up fugly hillbilly competition… Too bad this rumble isn't be shot by the brilliant mind of Thaddeus Franklin King.
*Noble Savage - Loser, GO BACK UNDER THE ROCK WHERE YOU’VE FOUND SOLACE, NOBODY HAS MISSED YOU!
*John Blade - Loser, originality is in fact dead...
*The Raging Dead - Loser, Speaking of dead… GO BACK TO ACTION WRESTLING, you undead FUCK! You get crippled in a cruiserweight division and you think you could have another go of it in APW… For fucking shame, man.
“Jazzy” John McCarty - Loser, go play a damn jazz flute, you aqua lung. You circled around that top tier and did jack diddly when Zion Simmons was next to yours.
*Frank Patrick Venable - Loser, GO BACK TO ACTION WRESTLING, you GOLD DIGGING WHORE! )4Lex Collins - Loser, this architect couldn't save Trinity from being self destructed and he will fail at rebuilding his at the expense of APW's faithful.
*Lazer Blazer - Loser, as much a bleeding heart for the people as Jobber Dave, but at least Jobber Dave has surpassed that underdog Jobber story… You couldn't even make a dark side angle get over.
*"The Provocateur" Arthur Pleasant - Loser, firstly… Has anyone even missed this guy? Might as well stayed gone because the only thing that is waiting for you is further disappointment, Arty.
*Any other schmuck - Surprise ass holes, super fun and cowardice… How nice? Losers, the whole lot of em.
"There you have it folks, the proof is there and come that rumble, you will all witness Zion Simmons showing how cunning he truly is. I am top tier in APW and it's about time i take my rightful spot back!"
Zion clinches a fist at the camera.
"It was written and it shall all come to the light at the rumble… And remember this whole thing is business, I'm just way better at it than you."
Zion winks at the godlike camera making it fade to black.
